i need a little support

[dora_david 0]

hi all.. how is everybody? im horrible..i miss him so much i dont know what else to do..im trying to get myself busy and do alots of things so i wont think all time about him cuz i miss him so bad...im getting fustrated..i dont know what else to do and anything i do dosent help... im crying since 3 days..i cant stop.. how u guys go trough this? what can i do to make me feel better? and i still have to wait long time i think..i would apreciate if u could give me some advices or something.. sorry for my poor english..thanks

[tmma 467]

hi all.. how is everybody? im horrible..i miss him so much i dont know what else to do..im trying to get myself busy and do alots of things so i wont think all time about him cuz i miss him so bad...im getting fustrated..i dont know what else to do and anything i do dosent help... im crying since 3 days..i cant stop.. how u guys go trough this? what can i do to make me feel better? and i still have to wait long time i think..i would apreciate if u could give me some advices or something.. sorry for my poor english..thanks

Your English is great.

I think we can all relate to what you are feeling...When we were apart I also had bad moments when I was upset, lonely and fed-up with it all, so I completely know how you feel.....Seriously...

However, 3 days of crying is going to do little more than make you dehydrate and your eyes puffy and red ( not to mention wrinkly) so stopping the tears for a while may help.

Here is what Mark and I did...

He kept busy and concentrated on his job there and preparing himself for the visa process.....Started researching and gathering the paperwork that he needed for when the time came. Got background on possible employers for when he got here. Fine-tuned his resume...etc etc etc

Me-I ran around like a headless chicken getting the petition together and all the stuff for that. In between time I concentrated on my college/job/house...etc etc etc

For you, maybe ( more importantly right now) take care of yourself. That means sleep-eat-exercise. Try not to let this stress make you ill as that will help no one-most of all you. Keep busy and look at the big picture- keep the goal you and your fiance have in mind and remember you will be together eventually.

I know how hard it is to be apart and the rotton "airport good-byes" ( Mark and I have had about 10 or so of those in the past-and they get NO EASIER), but just hold on! You will get through it and be together eventually (with no more good-byes).....

It's tough, but you will make it through...Try and stay busy, be kind to yourself!

best wishes

tmma.

Edited March 30, 2007 by tmma

[Lizzy 0]

Your English is fine:)

I can really understand what you are going through, even through i am in the USA now, i went through what you are going through.

It was tough, real tough and at the time i did not work, so i really did not have that much to do on that front, I did have my daughter through and she was enough to keep me busy. I spent quite a bit of time in the USA with my fiancee at the time and this helped but those airport goodbyes made me feel ill. He would always deal with them better than me.

The hardest part i can remeber was i had been there for nearly 3 months and it was time for me to go home in 2 days, i found out i was pregnant 5 weeks before i was due to come home, 2 days before the flight i miscarread, thank god i was able to stay an extra 30 days for exteme medical reasons, thats the part that used to scare me, me not being there for steve and him not being there for me.

Do you guys have a webcam? that made it a whole lot better for us, i used to go to sleep with it on lol.

Make sure you use this time to get all the papers togther, say nice long goodbyes to your friends and family and country.

Good luck and look after yourself, your fiancee needs you to do that for him.

Good luck and hugs, crying for 3 days is not good for you!

[boo boo 1]

Be strong.....a long distance relationship can be very very hard and the days can turn into weeks and weeks into months.....but the outcome is very rewarding and that is what helped me thru it all I filed the 129F in July2006...and by the end of JAN 2007....my baby arrived here w/ me forever......now that I look at the timeline...it was a piece of cake and I felt blessed to have everything happen so quickly.....but I had my share of "crying days" and during that process it did feel like day would never come. Try to stay focused and and stay positive....your day will come. Have a BLESSED DAY!!!!!

[govols 1]

I have to say that the time apart was so hard for us too. But...we made it! And you will too, I promise. And when you are together, it will be so wonderful. My husband, Tony has been here since October, 2006. I can't believe it sometimes!

Like the others have said. keep busy. Cherish every minute with him, on the phone, webcam, etc.

Write letters to him and send them snail mail. I always loved to og to the mailbox and open up something from Tony. It was so special...and unexpected...not like a phone call when you usually know to expect that. You will make it, and yes there will be tears, most of us on here have experienced those too. Keep as busy as you can and do things to pamper yourself. It really does help!

Good luck

Karen

[kari lina 0]

I completely understand what you are going through. In our case, we've gotten to the point where there is nothing to do but wait. We received packet 4 on March 22nd and our interview is on May 4th. I thought it would be so much easier once we knew the date. But I actually think I liked it better when I had to be working on getting the paperwork together. Now he has everything that he will need for the interview, and we're just......waiting......... I really wish I could skip the whole month of April.

During the day things are not so bad because I'm working, but once I get home it gets pretty tough. We moved into place I currently live together and he stayed there with me for 3 months until he had to go back to Germany. So, it doesn't feel like "my" place; it's our place. And I can feel the emptiness when I get home from work and he's not there. And sometimes it feels that I'm just trying to find things to do to waste the time away.

But I just try to find things that I enjoy. I'm working on a mosaic table right now, and planning our wedding . And I try not to think too much about how many days we have left before we're together.

Best wishes,

Karoline

[~Chad~ 0]

The gym has helped me. If I'm not working you can find me there. Thanksgiving and Christmas were hard on me. I thought I was going to go crazy! But I can't wait for this Christmas, it will be my first one as a married man! I keep a calender by my bed and marked the estimated date of her interview- and of course I changed it when we found out for sure- but every night before going to bed I can't wait to cross out the day and think "another day closer" Sounds silly? Hey, to each is own, it motivates me!

[kari lina 0]

The gym has helped me. If I'm not working you can find me there. Thanksgiving and Christmas were hard on me. I thought I was going to go crazy! But I can't wait for this Christmas, it will be my first one as a married man! I keep a calender by my bed and marked the estimated date of her interview- and of course I changed it when we found out for sure- but every night before going to bed I can't wait to cross out the day and think "another day closer" Sounds silly? Hey, to each is own, it motivates me!

Not silly at all. I cross of the days on the calendar and have a number countdown that i change everyday. It does help just to feel that you are actually making progress, and your love will be home soon.

Karoline

[Nessa 23]

I can relate to what you're saying. What I did while waiting to be with my love, which seemed endless, was going to the gym everyday, I had membership card for the city I was living public library, so I could read as many books I wanted, and we would spend all the time we could (that we were not sleeping, busy at work, etc.) talking to each other on the internet.

It is not easy, but it's a sacrifice we have to make to be with the one we love. And it's worthy

Good luck!

[Dan J 277]

...or you can develop a new hobby for exmple : handcrafts thing, it's pretty time consuming and distract you enough

[GaryC 7]

hi all.. how is everybody? im horrible..i miss him so much i dont know what else to do..im trying to get myself busy and do alots of things so i wont think all time about him cuz i miss him so bad...im getting fustrated..i dont know what else to do and anything i do dosent help... im crying since 3 days..i cant stop.. how u guys go trough this? what can i do to make me feel better? and i still have to wait long time i think..i would apreciate if u could give me some advices or something.. sorry for my poor english..thanks

I know exactly what you are going through. Because of problems other than the visa we waited 3 years. The only advice I can give you is to keep busy and look to the future rather that focusing on the separation.

Do you and your fiance have computers at home? Here is how we made things easier. We both have computers at home with high speed internet. That way we could video chat any time we wanted. Since Luz had a DSL connection I was able to get her a Vonage phone system. That made us able to call each other any time we wanted at no cost. That helped tremendously!

Talk to your US fiance. If he is spending more that $50/month on phone calls then the money is better spent getting you an internet connection and a Vonage. With those you can keep in constant contact. I also got Luz a digital camera. We were constantly exchanging pictures of our daily lives. Use this time to get to know each other. It will strengthen your relationship.

[Together4ever 1]

I went through it too. We had a very long wait. I can tell you the mistakes I made and if I had it to do all over again, I would certainly do things differently. I spent too much time here on VJ. Don't misunderstand, this is a great source of information and support, but I also overfocused on this whole process. The more I did that, the more anxiety I had and the more I missed him. Try to keep your mind occupied with other things. Keeping your hands busy, or physical activity is a big help. It won't stop the hurting but it will help you cope until you are reunited again. Deal with this process when you have to, otherwise don't give it a thought if you can. Don't forget each day we are alive is a gift and to make the best of it. Keeping yourself mentally and emotionally healthy is extremely important because the time will come when you ARE reunited and you will start a new chapter in your life and there will be a lot to adjust to.

[raphael7546 0]

Wow, its been almost a year & a half since I've moved to the states and I can still sorta remember how awful I felt.

We we apart for almost 2 & a half years so it was very tough! We didn't even have Computer cameras or anything. He was in the air force so we didnt get alot of time to communicate.

I kept pictures of him everywhere. I kinda surrounded myself with him. I even had a bottle of his cologne that he always wears. My little daughter missed him too . So much so, that she would not go to bed unless I spritzed some of his cologne on her pillow. LOL She also slept with his picture.

If you can't talk on the telephone that often, you can always have him record his voice for you and send it, then you can listen to it whenever your feeling alone.

I kept every single letter, card, and printed out every email he ever sent me in our 6 yr relationship prior to me moving here and marrying him. When I went for my K-1 interview the officer asked if I had any letters or anything as proof of our relationship and I asked him what year did he want to start with? I pulled out a container of All the emails & cards & letters! He laughed and said "You cetraintly come prepared! Needless to say we we're approved!

Just remember that this time apart is only a small amount of time of your whole life and that you will be together eventually.

Goodluck with your journey!

Lily

[MichelleandCraig 1]

You've gotten some great advice already, so I won't add to it...I'll just say we've all been through it at one time or another (or now) and fully understand how you're feeling..it IS difficult...but so worth it in the end. You'll be able to look back on this sometime and know that you made it....thinking of you! M.