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Has anyone struggled with depression through all of this? My relationship has been going on for 2 years now and we are just starting the process. He just left from a visit last week though. Just need some kind of encouragement that it's all worth it

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Hi there,

I went through the same thing as you're going thru. My husband (then fiancé) arrived in the US after 8 long months and 1 rfe later. Every day that passes seemed like weeks waiting to hear something from the USCIS and when I did finally hear something...it was because we received an rfe which delayed the process. I can sympathize with you. The key is to keep yourself busy (just like what everyone else here would say). What bothered me the most was when I would see those who filed at around the same time I did with their noa2 approved and even visas approved even before my noa was approved. But I will say, you will get there. In the meantime what I did was I worked extra, worked out 6 days a week and went out with friends. At the end of the day, it was still the same thing...the waiting game but you have to keep telling yourself that it won't go on forever! Patience is the key. My husband arrived in the US almost 1 1/2 yrs ago and we now have a 2 month old baby! So it does end. Just look forward to the future. Hopefully your fiancé is supportive as mine was and he kept telling me to "hold on." And I did! Don't worry...it will get better!?

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I think alot of VJers go through depression during this process, especially if their are issues that delay the journey. Our K1 took 2 years (waiver issue). It was excruciating at times. I got so tired of living our relationship through phone calls, texts, and pics. I tried to keep busy. Visited with friends and family alot, picked up extra shifts at work, decided to tell more of our story here to try to help others, and prayed ALOT. I did my best to stay positive, but it didn't always work. I had days of depression and crying. My fiance never let me give up. He was very strong and positive.

My advise: Just do the best you can. Take one day at a time. Just get through each day and try to find at least one good thing each day. Allow yourself time to be sad,lonely, and depressed but then wipe your tears and keep going. Is it worth it? My friend, 1000 times yes. My fiance has been here 6 weeks and its been awesome. We have a great relationship and its just like it was on my visits (minus the ocean, beach, sun, and rum punch...but yea). Our wedding is in 2 weeks and I think back to all those hard days and get so emotional. I was so afraid it wouldn't happen and here we are!

There is alot of support here. Don't be afraid to reach out when you need it.

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Has anyone struggled with depression through all of this? My relationship has been going on for 2 years now and we are just starting the process. He just left from a visit last week though. Just need some kind of encouragement that it's all worth it

Only you can answer that question as to whether its worth it.

We both found the process hard, and we were applying for k1 at a time when the backlog was huge, so the entire process took over 9 months. I was able to visit during that time, but it was hard. We skyped and emailed a lot, but we both believed it would be worth the wait.

Was it worth it? Well a year after coming to the US I'm married to a beautiful girl who is my best friend. We have a great life, a beautiful house, both work from home, and a dog, who is generally well behaved. For us, the answer is yes, it was definitely worth it.


--- k1 visa ---
Texas Service Center (Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here)
I-129F sent: 12 Aug 2014
I-129F NOA1: 15 Aug 2014
I-129F NOA2: 2 Mar 2015 (199 days from NOA1) **No RFEs!**
NVC Received: 19 Mar 2015
Case#, IIN, BIN assigned: 19 Mar 2015
NVC Left: 20 Mar 2015
Consultate Received: 23 Mar 2015
Package 3 Received: 26 Mar 2015
Medical: 10 Apr 2015
Packet 3 Sent: 10 Apr 2015
Packet 4 Received: 23 Apr 2015
Interview Date: 8 May 2015 (Approved!!!)
Visa Issued: 14 May 2015
Visa in Hand: 19 May 2015
Entry to USA: 5 Jun 2015
Married: 21 Jun 2015

---Adjustment of Status---
Sent I-485, I-131 and I-765: 7 Jul 2015
NOA1 for I-485, I-131 and I-765: 14 Jul 2015
Email notification that I-765 was approved: 12 Sep 2015
Email notification that I-131 was approved: 15 Sep 2015
Email notification that EAD/AP combo card was mailed: 15 Sep 2015
EAP and AP combo card received: 18 Sep 2015
Green Card Received: 3 Dec 2015 [ :)] Previous letter stated interview requirement was likely to be waived

 

---Removal of Conditions---
Sent I-751: 13 Oct 2017
NOA1 for I-751: 23 Oct 2017

Biometrics: 20 Nov 2017

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In an attempt to divert depression , I spend most of my time doing home improvement for that wonderful day that my wife and daughter finally make it home. My wife spends her free time instructing home improvements via skype :P . I find staying busy and focused on the goal . Every time we have to wait for the next step i dive into another project . that seems to keep us going , hope it helps :)

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It is very hard communicating though the phone but thank goodness they invented skype and FaceTime! Can you imagine what it would be like if we could only communicate via postal mail or just phone alone? It is definitely worth it! You should look at it this way...if you decided to petition your fiancé...then you must believe that he or she is worth it right? I was asked by a few people if given the chance...would I do it again? And my answer would be YES! It's an awesome feeling in the end when your fiancé gets that "your approved" and the stamp by the consulate. I was there for my husband's interview. He was approved in March 2014 and was here in April 2014. Your fiancé would have to wait for the actual visa issued in his or her passport before coming to the US. Best of luck to you. By the way, visa journey was so informative during my k1 journey. I learned so much, read so many stories (not all with happy endings) and found it to be quite therapeutic at times.

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Hugs!!! It is such an emotionally draining process when going through it. My best thing I did was stay off this website unless we had a specific question. It was too depressing see others approved and we were still waiting etc. There were many nights I called my husband just crying just done with the process. Looking back at it now we just laugh at how crazy we both were. After 15 months my husbands CR1 was approved and he has been here in the US for 8 months now. Enjoy that time where you just talk get to know each other better. And keep busy immigration will be done before you know it!!!

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