Help - ideas

[melly 0]

Hello fellow VJers.

I debated about whether or not to post this here, but I figure there's such a broad spectrum of people here that I could probably get some good advice/ideas about what to do. Or what not to do!

I've worked at my current workplace for over 6 years.

I've known the owners of the business all of my life.

Despite the fact that I'm not thrilled about being there, and I don't feel that I make what I am worth, it is a steady job and I don't worry about being laid off or fired. A stable job is necessary since I have a child to help support and I can't afford to be without a job, even for a week!

Now, the problem is a man who works there, I'll call him Joe. Joe is in his 50's.

Joe is a big fat jerk. That's putting it as mildly as I can.

The guy has been harassing me off and on for several years.

The last time I complained about it, the vice-president told me to write it up and we talked about it and she put the paper in my file. She said that they had talked to him before a couple of times regarding his behaviour, and that he would be good for a while but then would always go back to the way he was, harassing people. She said they would talk with him and I don't know if they did or not but there have been a couple of periods since then where he has started his behaviour up again.

It isn't sexual harassment, stictly verbal, though it affects not just my mind but my body as well.

He has been physically threatening before a few times, but hasn't actually touched/harmed me in any way.

The guy loves knives and owns many of them. He carries them around all the time and likes to take them out and flick them. Not sure how to explain that movement but it's like he pulls the knife out and flips it forward. He's done that several times just a couple of inches from my face. The other day he flipped a plastic box at my face.

As he walks back and forth from one area of the building to another, he often passes my cube. He can't pass without making some kind of comment, even if it's just to say my name and nothing else. That probably doesn't sound too threatening but 95% of the time it's not just my name, it's some assinine comment. And it isn't always what he says (though mostly it is) but it's also the way he says it.

I kept a list for a while of the things he was saying to me and I wrote the time and date next to each thing.

I stopped for a while because he stopped, but it has started back up again and I'm keeping a list again, though with just the dates, not the times.

His mouth is filthy to begin with and I don't think he knows how to speak without swearing.

And it's not just me that he does this stuff too, but I think he takes particular joy in doing it to me because he knows it bothers me. But he is verbally abusive to other people as well and even yells at people sometimes, even including the president of the company one time, and my supervisor just a couple of weeks ago.

Asking this guy to stop doesn't do any good. He's a smart ### and a jerk. He's overbearing.

Today I walked past his area for something and he ended up going my direction and walking right behind me. I can't tell you how creepy that was and how much it freaked me out and he started talking ####### to me and I asked him to stop. He kept on and I actually told him to shut up. At which point he kept going and asked if I was sure I wanted him to be quiet because he really thought blah blah blah... at which point I said in a louder voice, Joe, SHUT UP!

I was shaking and upset the rest of the afternoon.

Maybe some would say I shouldn't let the guy get to me and maybe I should be stronger and try to ignore him, but I just don't feel that this behaviour is acceptable and I don't think I'm in the wrong.

I just don't know what to do about it.

I can complain to the owners again but I doubt they will do anything.

And I'm afraid if this guy lost his job and found out it was because of me, that he would try to retaliate.

This guy is just crazy. I don't know what to do and I'm at my wits end with it. It's become very uncomfortable, again, at my workplace and it's hard to concentrate when he's giving me a hard time.

Help!!!

[brnidokiegurl 1]

Get a little tape recorder and catch him on tape, also some knives are considered conceled weapons. Get him in a position after you get some recording and tell him not ask him to stop......

[Ban Hammer 14,291]

Get a little tape recorder and catch him on tape, also some knives are considered conceled weapons. Get him in a position after you get some recording and tell him not ask him to stop......

make it a video tape recorder, as that with the knife is way out in left field.

[William33 110]

The fact is, you mentioned this inappropriate behavior to management and they blew it off.

I would:

1.) Quietly search for a new job.

2.) Document the incidents of harassment and your reports to management.

3.) After finding a new job and resigning the present one, hire a lawyer.

4.) Sue the current employer for their failure to rectify the problem.

You should not stand for that sh!t and will yield $$$ for your anguish.

Good luck.

[Ban Hammer 14,291]

The fact is, you mentioned this inappropriate behavior to management and they blew it off.

I would:

1.) Quietly search for a new job.

2.) Document the incidents of harassment and your reports to management.

3.) After finding a new job and resigning the present one, hire a lawyer.

4.) Sue the current employer for their failure to rectify the problem.

You should not stand for that sh!t and will yield $$$ for your anguish.

Good luck.

i don't think she wants to sue the employers

"I've known the owners of the business all of my life."

[jamrok 0]

The fact is, you mentioned this inappropriate behavior to management and they blew it off.

I would:

1.) Quietly search for a new job.

2.) Document the incidents of harassment and your reports to management.

3.) After finding a new job and resigning the present one, hire a lawyer.

4.) Sue the current employer for their failure to rectify the problem.

You should not stand for that sh!t and will yield $$$ for your anguish.

Good luck.

Very sound advice William.

[brnidokiegurl 1]

Why should she be the one to leave? Make management take responsibility over their employees and let him go.

[William33 110]

Charles,

Does that excuse the negligence? I don't think so.

i don't think she wants to sue the employers

"I've known the owners of the business all of my life."

brnidokiegurl,

Sometimes we must do things that don't seem "fair" for our own sanity, no? Management thus far, has done nothing.

"We noted the issue in your file". Big freaking deal.

Be a competent manager and bounce that azzhat guy. Will they? It does not appear promising.

Why should she be the one to leave? Make management take responsibility over their employees and let him go.

[brnidokiegurl 1]

I guess depending on how easy it is to get another job, depending on how circumstances are between those you have known for years and how much you are willing to put up with. Remember tho if you dont get some actions and stop this guy he will just find another after your gone.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

William has given sound advice, as always.

[jezebelseven 0]

It might be worth talking to your superiors warning them that they are going to lose you as a valuable employee unless they take real action on this. I don't care how long I've known someone, if they are excusing some idiot essentially threatening you, or making you as clearly uncomfortable as you are, they can't be that good of friends/acquaintances/etc.

There is always the chance they will do nothing, so just in case they don't, I'd strongly suggest at least shopping around for new employment.

You may also check around with friends/close coworkers to find out if anyone else feels as threatened as you do-- If so, the more people who report him the better. They may be viewing the first time as a isolated event and are unaware that it still continues and is getting worse-- They need to know, regardless of how they react, even if they do nothing and you do end up having to leave and possibly file suit, it would only strengthen your case because you would've shown there is a clear pattern of his attitude and you had reported it in detail more than once, if you do choose to file a lawsuit or go that route.

I don't know if the tape recorder, audio or video, is a good idea, let alone even legal in some states. The whole 'Recording without consent' thing could backfire and have YOU in trouble, not this jerk, so before you do that you may want to verify the legal stance your state takes on that.

[Ban Hammer 14,291]

not saying it does nor am i disputing there is a failure in leadership on the part of the owners. however, she's already stated that she has known them for ages. to sue them would break that friendship so the question remains if she'd be willing to do that. i don't think she would.

Charles,

Does that excuse the negligence? I don't think so.

[kim&james 0]

harrassment can and obviously is causing you alot of stress. even though you dont want to bring it up with your employers I would suggest that you do. Start documenting everything. dates times etc.

1) noting all this down will at least get it a little out of your system and 2) leaving it and doing nothing will only make things worse in the long run.

Someone like this person obviously likes pushing your buttons and knows that it hurts you and others he does it too. That is his personality problem not yours. The workplace is exactely that, a workplace. We do not go to work to be harrased in any fashion.

In the long run you might end up too stressed to do any work so better to try to fix the problem now before things get to out of hand and your health suffers, which will affect your work abilities.

I have seen women harrassed at work (various ways - mental and physical) and because of their job security/situation they do nothing of any note then end up losing their jobs because their health and job attitude goes down hill which leaves the main offender still there ready to abuse someone else.

I fired my bosses friend because of harrasment of another staff member. Took balls, but enough is enough.

Even though it is very personal to you to be the subject of harrassment, you cannot allow it to continue. Do everything in your power to stop it. Be calm when the harrasment is taking place and take a note of the time and think of how you are going to write this in your diary.

most of all, affirmative action on your own behalf for your safety and wellbeing is the responsibility of your employers. The last resort is to sue for harrasment in the workplace, but make sure you have well documented evidence that harrasment has occured. If necessary take these steps after exhausting all other avenues.

Personally I hate these b'stads that think they can get away with this #######, because they are more in with the bosses.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

With your list of documented harassments and the borderline 'assaults', I would go to the employer once again, submit the information, state that you expect the situation to be resolved and that the next time it happens you will be calling in the police to investigate. I am sure the police would be very interested in this fellow's fascination with threatening people with knives. Then, if you have to, call them. It sounds like your employer needs to have a little bit of motivation to behave responsibly - and legally.

Edited February 3, 2007 by Kathryn41

[Fandango 1,440]

I agree with William completely

not saying it does nor am i disputing there is a failure in leadership on the part of the owners. however, she's already stated that she has known them for ages. to sue them would break that friendship so the question remains if she'd be willing to do that. i don't think she would.

How strong is the friendship anyways if the employers, who've known her all her life have sat back and allowed her to be subjected to this kind of garbage???

Sue the sh!t outta them!