Why do people change their surnames after they are married?

[Sister Fracas 5]

This is an odd thread. I got bored reading about Lobster, sorry, and skipped the hockey part, cause I don't like hockey...

[Fandango 1,439]

When I was previously married, I didn't want to take his name. I dunno, there was something about it that said to me that I was no longer a part of my family & I was just a part of his that I didn't like. It bothered him, so I dropped my middle name, took my maiden as my middle, and took his. I worked under my name still. I hated the almost-hyphenation thing, but it was the only thing I could do as to not just be assimilated as one of 'his clan' (oh, I couldn't stand his family btw)

Anyways, this time around is completely different for me....I cannot wait to take his name fully and drop my own. It is a practicality thing as I want to have the same name as my future children, but it's also a unity thing for me. We are going to be one family, and I think the name change is essential (FOR ME) to feel that.

I still don't know what I'm going to do about work...my maiden name is rather cool as it has it's own little marketing tool built in....but I dunno what to do with that yet.

[almaty 19]

When I was previously married, I didn't want to take his name. I dunno, there was something about it that said to me that I was no longer a part of my family & I was just a part of his that I didn't like. It bothered him, so I dropped my middle name, took my maiden as my middle, and took his. I worked under my name still. I hated the almost-hyphenation thing, but it was the only thing I could do as to not just be assimilated as one of 'his clan' (oh, I couldn't stand his family btw)

Anyways, this time around is completely different for me....I cannot wait to take his name fully and drop my own. It is a practicality thing as I want to have the same name as my future children, but it's also a unity thing for me. We are going to be one family, and I think the name change is essential (FOR ME) to feel that.

I still don't know what I'm going to do about work...my maiden name is rather cool as it has it's own little marketing tool built in....but I dunno what to do with that yet.

keep the work name...i know a teacher, of young children, who did not change her name at work, so not to confuse the youngsters...

[Fandango 1,439]

When I was previously married, I didn't want to take his name. I dunno, there was something about it that said to me that I was no longer a part of my family & I was just a part of his that I didn't like. It bothered him, so I dropped my middle name, took my maiden as my middle, and took his. I worked under my name still. I hated the almost-hyphenation thing, but it was the only thing I could do as to not just be assimilated as one of 'his clan' (oh, I couldn't stand his family btw)

Anyways, this time around is completely different for me....I cannot wait to take his name fully and drop my own. It is a practicality thing as I want to have the same name as my future children, but it's also a unity thing for me. We are going to be one family, and I think the name change is essential (FOR ME) to feel that.

I still don't know what I'm going to do about work...my maiden name is rather cool as it has it's own little marketing tool built in....but I dunno what to do with that yet.

keep the work name...i know a teacher, of young children, who did not change her name at work, so not to confuse the youngsters...

The only thing that's drawing me towards changing it is that my ex has badgered me for years. He doesn't lately, but I've been in the UK for a long time, so I dunno if he even knows I'm back yet. I moved away after our divorce....he'd be cryin at my doorstep all the time, long story short, too much drama.

My maiden name is VERY unique and I stand out like a sore thumb. If he were to ever google me, he could find me in a heartbeat, and that's the thing I don't like. He's not a bad guy, but he had bad probbos with the words 'let go' if ya know what I mean.

[JayJay 4]

Hiya Mark and Melo - sorry, been stressing and crappy the last few weeks...

*hugs to both of you lovely people* (F)

*hugs to everyone*

[KarenCee 3]

Glad to see you back Jay Jay!

As a teacher, since we'll be getting married this summer, I'm going to take his name and start the new school year off with my married name. If we were marrying before the school year ended, I would have still let the kids call me by my name now, so they wouldnt be confused.

[Angel7422 0]

Hahahaha funny emotes, i like

[Angel7422 0]

lets pick our battles. this is usless. we all love our mates.

thats the bottomline. no matter if you take on their last name or not. right? now lets all make peace and meet yall at Red Lobster.

I am starving.

Only if you are paying

[backinthestates 0]

I come from a country where women never change their surnames upon marriage. In this age of identity theft and terrorists, proving one's identity is essential to getting anything done. Yet I don't understand why some people choose to go through the extra hassle of changing their names. Chaning name is especially chaotic for an immigrant. Someone enlighten me as to the reasons why you decided to change your surname knowing you will have to go through a lot of hassle.

Don't let anyone tell you its a cultural thing. It goes back a long way when men used to drag us women by our hair. And now that we have our independance, some still choose to hide behind their husband.

I would never give up my beautful Italian in origion last name to take my husbands name. He wasn't bothered that I kept mine. I did offer his the choice to take mine, but he declined. he he

Do what you want to do. It's not the done thing. Especially if you like me, I have 2 passports, 4 bank accounts in several countries. All too hard to change over!!!! And i'm 33 years old, i am who I am by now and no marriage certificate will change that.

Thank god my husband is a modern man!!! He accepts my views and allows me to choose whatever I want for my life!!!

Keep your name if you want!!

Jennifer Santolla

[noemij 0]

This was a good thread.....

I come from a culture where children carry both last names, the father's and the mother's, and in my husband's country women don't change their last names after they are married. Here in the US, I only use my paternal name and when I decide to take my husband's last name (for sentimental reasons), I want to have it hyphenated...

[Fuzzness 2]

why did this thread have to be resurrected?

[ajames79 0]

I thought I would just add to the thread:

I will also state that it is your own personal choice in what you and your husband decide to do.

I, however, have thought a long time about it.

Especially in reading 2 threads in the last few days.

First thread being this one, Second thread being the one where a couple is having a "row" and thinking about loosing your identity moving to a place where they are just gaining friends, have no family, and maybe can't drive or work or what ever the case is.

My future husband to be will be moving here from the UK, leaving his very tight family. Although this is our choice and we weighed out all the options we still decided to move to the states.

Where does this come into place with the whole name change idea?? Well.

I am starting a new family. I want Chris to feel he is starting and carrying part of his family here as well. This is not to say my maiden name isn't important. It very much is to me. Being that my father had no sons to carry on his name persay.

There would be no arguement if I decided to keep my maiden name. He would not have a problem. But my heart is kind of excited about having his name.

On the other end of things I am stepping into a business my father has owned for 30 years. I will choose to use my maiden name as my middle name and have it on my business cards so that our clients who have not delt with me yet know exactly who I am.

Again...it may seem romantic or old fashioned or not modern enough but I really do like the idea that I will take his name. But it is my own personal feeling.

[jen&darcy 0]

I plan on taking my husband's name...to me it's my way of being one with him, of showing him how much I love him. Now, don't misinterpret that statement to say if you don't take your husband's name that it means you don't love him...this is just my choice. Besides, I'm also ready to shed this name that I got from my ex...one less thing to remind me of my huge mistake in life.

Agree

[rejane 1]

I took my husband name, wanted to share the same name, Also i was in Ireland for 5 years and my husband has an Irish family name...

[almaty 19]

why did this thread have to be resurrected?

i agree...i am tiring of this