My White Daughter’s Cornrows — and the Sometimes Ugly Conversations It Sparked

[aaydrian 479]

and what kinda hair does the mailman have?

Isn't she 'dopted?

[sandinista! 1,816]

mom needs to grow a pair and stop worrying about busybodied strangers making ridiculous comments.

Well, yeah. The article wasn't great at getting much of a point across. But this can be a thing. And in my experience it predominantly skews towards white people saying weird stuff or making inappropriate commentary about other people's racial or ethnic attributes. Being out in public with a curly haired kinda brown kid doesn't mean I want to field questions about my daughter's ethnicity while I'm trying to buy a pair of shoes. 99.9% of the time, people are nice, and are asking from a curious, nice, but still nosy place. When my son was little, strangers talked to me about him as a person ...the comics he was into because they saw his Avengers shirt, etc. But a brown girl, with curls and a foreign name, people usually just mention what they see as her "exoticness" or prettiness. It kinda sucks. She's a person too, beyond her looks and ethnicity.

[decocker 7,198]

Well, yeah. The article wasn't great at getting much of a point across. But this can be a thing. And in my experience it predominantly skews towards white people saying weird stuff or making inappropriate commentary about other people's racial or ethnic attributes. Being out in public with a curly haired kinda brown kid doesn't mean I want to field questions about my daughter's ethnicity while I'm trying to buy a pair of shoes. 99.9% of the time, people are nice, and are asking from a curious, nice, but still nosy place. When my son was little, strangers talked to me about him as a person ...the comics he was into because they saw his Avengers shirt, etc. But a brown girl, with curls and a foreign name, people usually just mention what they see as her "exoticness" or prettiness. It kinda sucks. She's a person too, beyond her looks and ethnicity.

indeed, a friend once told me she constantly gets asked if she adopted her daughters (their father is cambodian), most times right in front of the girls. it baffles me, right alongside strangers who walk up and put their hands on a pregnant woman's belly.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

indeed, a friend once told me she constantly gets asked if she adopted her daughters (their father is cambodian), most times right in front of the girls.

I am sure this family gets a lot of questions from strangers too.

[decocker 7,198]

I am sure this family gets a lot of questions from strangers too.

why who's that?

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

I am sure this family gets a lot of questions from strangers too.

Why.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Both parents have plastic surgery but their kids resemble their before plastic surgery looks.

[Janelle2002 3,865]

Well, yeah. The article wasn't great at getting much of a point across. But this can be a thing. And in my experience it predominantly skews towards white people saying weird stuff or making inappropriate commentary about other people's racial or ethnic attributes. Being out in public with a curly haired kinda brown kid doesn't mean I want to field questions about my daughter's ethnicity while I'm trying to buy a pair of shoes. 99.9% of the time, people are nice, and are asking from a curious, nice, but still nosy place. When my son was little, strangers talked to me about him as a person ...the comics he was into because they saw his Avengers shirt, etc. But a brown girl, with curls and a foreign name, people usually just mention what they see as her "exoticness" or prettiness. It kinda sucks. She's a person too, beyond her looks and ethnicity.

Finally!! I was sweating in here alone for a second.

indeed, a friend once told me she constantly gets asked if she adopted her daughters (their father is cambodian), most times right in front of the girls. it baffles me, right alongside strangers who walk up and put their hands on a pregnant woman's belly.

Ow that sucks.

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

indeed, a friend once told me she constantly gets asked if she adopted her daughters (their father is cambodian), most times right in front of the girls. it baffles me, right alongside strangers who walk up and put their hands on a pregnant woman's belly.

My mom used to get asked in front of me what is was like to have a child that looked nothing like her. It was very upsetting to me as a child, because there is a very strong resemblance between us, except that I tan in the summer and don't have blonde hair, and I wanted to be just like my mommy.

Lord forbid if Mr U and I ever spawn and create a Korean-Irish-Mexican-German-Belgian-English-Basque-Cherokee baby. We'll probably be accused of kidnapping it. On the plus side, it will be eligible for at least three Obamaphones!

[sandinista! 1,816]

indeed, a friend once told me she constantly gets asked if she adopted her daughters (their father is cambodian), most times right in front of the girls. it baffles me, right alongside strangers who walk up and put their hands on a pregnant woman's belly.

Ughh.

I totally get not turning every incident into this crazy, hyped up, racialized thing though, when I think a good amount of the time it comes from bad manners,being oblivious, and just not knowing any better. Doesn't excuse it, but it could be a better approach than getting overly worked up about people's reasons for saying stupid .

My mom used to get asked in front of me what is was like to have a child that looked nothing like her. It was very upsetting to me as a child, because there is a very strong resemblance between us, except that I tan in the summer and don't have blonde hair, and I wanted to be just like my mommy.

Lord forbid if Mr U and I ever spawn and create a Korean-Irish-Mexican-German-Belgian-English-Basque-Cherokee baby. We'll probably be accused of kidnapping it. On the plus side, it will be eligible for at least three Obamaphones!

So, um, like, what are you anyways?

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

So, um, like, what are you anyways?

'Murican. That's what I told the woman who accosted me at the mall the other week and demanded to know my ethnicity. When she asked me what my heritage was I said, "New England." She was so confused.

As I'm sure you know, being even a little brown in the world and not conforming to what others might expect people to "look like" seems to embolden strangers. I've been getting the "But where are you really from?" since I can remember. I told people Hawaii when I was three, because I'd seen a movie with little brown girls with long brown hair, so I figured I was Hawaiian. We didn't talk about ethnicity in my house growing up, because we were American. I had no idea I was some sort of "other" until I went to a new school that was 90% WASP.