Bride Price Concerns

[ShadowPic 0]

If she keeps quoting a price and is not discussing it are you sure you should be married? Divorce happens in China today and if she is only focusing on money how do you know she won't look for a better spouse when she gets to the United States?

[coniefl 28]

I know anything about Chinese culture and bride prices, in my view it maybe ok to pay a bride piece if I was getting married and going to live in China, but your not so I would think I would follow the customs of the country of which I was to be married and live, the USA, in which the brides family pays, which can be waived due to financial hardship on the brides family.

Edited February 11, 2015 by coniefl

[Mike and Yaoling 46]

I paid 10,000 RMB because I offered to and wife said not to pay 1 cent more than that. Her brother would just try to borrow the money from her parents.

[coniefl 28]

The more I think of it you would have to be crazy to pay anyone $30,000 USD or even $30,000 RMB for a bride price , especially someone's family of a person your not even married to. What the guarantee that she will actually marry you and will not just take the money and run? I see little or no chance of getting the money back if you don't marry. Even if you were married, I would consider possibly paying the $30,000 RMB just to satisfy the custom, but I wouldn't pay $30,000 USD, that's a lot of money, what would stop her from filing for divorce shortly after you paid, still no chance to get the money back.

[JessieRC 8]

As a Chinese woman growing up in the rural China, I'd bride price practice has been rather critisized even in Chinese society nowadays. Consider this a huge red flag.

[LibCampFireClub 635]

So, the brides family wants money from you and not sure how much to give? You should consider dumping her and finding a new one who would never allow someone they love or care about to be subjected to paying a ransom. But hey. If you want to pay money to make people smile for a while, that is entirely up to you.

[kshelton 2]

Kicking, because this is a very interesting topic, and I am really wondering what happened to the OP!

 

My wife and I got our license at the civil affairs office in her hometown, on July 4 2016. We visited her hometown (village) during spring festival that year and we performed a traditional ceremony in the family home which took all of 10 minutes, then we went out to the communal area and stood there while family members and friends took pictures with us.

 

I was told by my wife that it was tradition for the groom to pay for the reception meal which included an entire cow and a large pig (it was quite fun AND humorous). This was not expensive, maybe $3000 all together for a group of about 200 or more people. She told me that it was tradition for the groom to give the mother and father a gift but that we weren't going to give them anything. Her uncle asked her if I was going to buy her father a BMW and she went off on him. She had a rough childhood, being the second daughter born in the family. She is not close to her family and tries to avoid them altogether. She has a rather large savings of her own that she has accumulated over 8 or so years, and has offered it to our joint savings. I told her that we would open a savings account for her and she could keep her money there.

 

The stories on the post are great. It's always kind of comical to hear about these things, especially in China where the almighty RMB rules. If my wife had told me about a bride price of $30,000USD before we got married, I would have been on the next flight home. I have heard similar stories from people. If anyone has any similar experiences please share.

[Ryan H 3,790]

***Old thread now closed to additional discussion.***