Ambitious New High-Speed Rail Plan Will Fly Americans To Japan To Use Their Trains

[GBCW 397]

WASHINGTON—In an effort to bring the United States’ transportation network “into the 21st century,” President Barack Obama unveiled an ambitious new high-speed rail plan Friday that will fly Americans to Japan in order to use the island nation’s extensive, state-of-the-art train system.

...

“After years of lagging behind other industrialized nations, this new plan at last provides our citizens with a cutting-edge passenger train network that will rival the world’s most advanced transit systems,” said Obama at a morning press conference, touting Japan’s fast, safe, and comfortable Shinkansen rail network as a vital upgrade to the U.S.’s outdated Amtrak service. “Under this new plan, all Americans will be able to travel quickly and reliably between hundreds of destinations by simply taking a trans-Pacific flight across nine time zones and then boarding one of dozens of lightning-fast, ultramodern trains.”

“The transit system that the U.S. has needed for so long is now just a 7,000-mile plane journey to Tokyo’s Narita International Airport and a brief passage through Japanese customs away,” Obama continued.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/ambitious-new-highspeed-rail-plan-will-fly-america,37153/

[Jacque67 7,328]

Will they be able to fit into the seats?

[LibCampFireClub 635]

High speed rail will NEVER EVER work in the USA. It's perfect for Asia and high density populations that build up instead of OUTWARD. All the push for high speed almost anywhere in the USA is malarkey. How does one get to the train station? Taxi? Bus? Yeah, right. How do the lawmakers negotiate with a US population with a left-wing that fully supports it, but is unwilling to have it built in their back yard.

[Curmudgeon 227]

High speed rail will NEVER EVER work in the USA. It's perfect for Asia and high density populations that build up instead of OUTWARD. All the push for high speed almost anywhere in the USA is malarkey. How does one get to the train station? Taxi? Bus? Yeah, right. How do the lawmakers negotiate with a US population with a left-wing that fully supports it, but is unwilling to have it built in their back yard.

High speed train services are normally designed to be competitive with air travel so your comments don't seem to fit the context of high speed rail at all.

[spookyturtle 9,465]

So if I want to take the train from Boston to NY, I can fly to Japan and use their trains?

[LibCampFireClub 635]

.....President Barack Obama unveiled an ambitious new high-speed rail plan Friday

...

“After years of lagging behind other industrialized nations, this new plan at last provides our citizens with a cutting-edge passenger train network that will rival the world’s most advanced transit systems,” said Obama at a morning press conference,

These so-called 'industrialized nations never drove their Chevy to the levy or found a thrill on Blueberry Hill. Looks like they got a lotta catchin up to do.

[Operator 1,925]

So if I want to take the train from Boston to NY, I can fly to Japan and use their trains?

Yes, but if you want to fly from Boston to NY you will need to first take a train to Columbus.

[seanimo 29]

I love the Onion articles.

[JohnR! 5,495]

I love the knee jerk reactions they evoke on some... It has to be ODS in its purest form...

I love the Onion articles.

[Operator 1,925]

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

I read this once about US trains and it made me laugh:

The Acela trainset is a unique train designed specifically to satisfy specific U.S. governmental rolling stock requirements. This includes a requirement to be able to collide with a freight train at speed without collapsing, which necessitates that the passenger cars be built with massive amounts of extra steel and weight. These requirements are significantly different from anywhere else in the world, including other countries that have highly functional high speed rail networks, which use modern signalling and computer controls to prevent crashes

[Sousuke 1,214]

I read this once about US trains and it made me laugh:

The Acela trainset is a unique train designed specifically to satisfy specific U.S. governmental rolling stock requirements. This includes a requirement to be able to collide with a freight train at speed without collapsing, which necessitates that the passenger cars be built with massive amounts of extra steel and weight. These requirements are significantly different from anywhere else in the world, including other countries that have highly functional high speed rail networks, which use modern signalling and computer controls to prevent crashes

Rail Lines in the US are owned by freight companies. In the West, there are two major players - BNSF and UP. So the freight companies set the rules and freight trains get the right of way.

Basically the US needs to build a separate highspeed line for passengers.

[GBCW 397]

Basically the US needs to build a separate highspeed line for passengers.

[Dan and Judy 614]

Will they be able to fit into the seats?

In Japan it's customary to stand so you can rub up against the girls.

[Jacque67 7,328]

In Japan it's customary to stand so you can rub up against the girls.

Not in the Shinkansen- the aisle between the seats needs to be free, for the trolley dollies to wheel a wagon full of alcohol and bar snacks to peddle to the passengers.