Boyfriend Wants to Visit Me From UK, Confused on Procedure?

[DannybearsGirl 0]

I already know how he can apply for a tourist visa which would allow him to stay here for maybe 2 months and then we'd have to wait another x amount of months until I could go there and we can just repeat this loop of misery forever.

I'm asking is there any way around this? If he manages to get a job and satisfy the income requirement, all we have to do is get married and I can apply for the visa right? Is that it or is there some other catch?

We are both so tired of this and just want it to be over. I still haven't gotten any solid advice. The system is completely against us. What are we supposed to do? I'm fully aware of how frustrating this is and it's killing both of us. So what is the solution here?

[Illiria 980]

With visas there isn't always one that is for exactly what you specifically want to do, the governments of countries do not do visas that suit everyone's wishes or situations.

Your options as I see them and remember this is a peer supported website so this is advise based on observation and experience and should not be misconstrued as legal advice. (If there are more or less someone please jump in)

1) only spend one or two months together per year and use skype the rest of the time.

2) get married on next trip then you apply for UK visa, if his finances are sufficient.

3) get married on next trip then once back in the UK apply for a spousal visa for him to come to the US if you earn enough or can get a joint sponsor to help

4) don't get married on next trip but instead wait and apply for a fiancée visa for him to move to the US if you earn enough or can get a joint sponsor to help

Looking for a UK immigration website would be best for questions about UK visas as they have gone through them and not many on here have.

We understand your frustration is what I was trying to say in last post, you want to be together all year round we get that but doing what you want might not be doable with visitor visas.

You may have to take the leap and do something more permanent and one of you immigrate to the others country and this will require jumping through the visa application hoops of the country you wish to end up in.

[icv21 110]

If his economic situation is not very good and it's hard for him to get a job there maybe you two have to think about the possibility of you working in the US and asking him with a K-1 visa and marry him in the states.

Maybe later you two can save some money and move to UK....

Could you sponsor him???? Do you have nay family members could help you?? someone can help you if you don't make the poverty lines

[Nick&Diane 32]

Spending time together on visitor visas is a good way to try out you relationship before you jump in and do all the really difficult, stressful things ... Marrying, immigrating/emigrating, leaving family and friends, getting careers sorted, etc. Sounds like you can do this:

6 month visitor visa in the UK

1.5 months apart

3 months visa waiver in the US

1.5 months apart

Rinse and repeat.

Time apart is hard but you'll find that every couple on this website has survived considerable amounts of time spent apart. It is a proving ground for a relationship before you make it legal and permanent.

Edited September 16, 2014 by Nick&Diane

[DannybearsGirl 0]

Ultimately we want to live in the UK together. I suppose it's possible we could marry in the US and he could apply for citizenship here. I don't know how difficult that would be though since the US seems even less happy to let foreigners come here than the UK. His grandmother is also very old and he doesn't want to be away from her when she passes, so living in the US isn't ideal.

If the only way for us to spend the most time together and for me to go live in the UK with him, is for us to marry ASAP, we'll do it. I just want to know how to go about it. Can he come here on a visitor visa to do that? I read somewhere we can still marry if he is on a tourist visa.

I am willing to do what I need to do to immigrate to the UK. It just seems to me like it's not possible because it's not just money requirements they want, it's time spent in certain places adding up to several years requirements they want, which makes this impossible.

[DannybearsGirl 0]

Spending time together on visitor visas is a good way to try out you relationship before you jump in and do all the really difficult, stressful things ... Marrying, immigrating/emigrating, leaving family and friends, getting careers sorted, etc. Sounds like you can do this:

6 month visitor visa in the UK

1.5 months apart

3 months visa waiver in the US

1.5 months apart

Rinse and repeat.

Time apart is hard but you'll find that every couple on this website has survived considerable amounts of time spent apart. It is a proving ground for a relationship before you make it legal and permanent.

Can I go back to the UK for another 6 months after such a short amount of time? If I could do that I wouldn't be so stressed out about this. I'd read on the UK gov website you couldn't spend more than 6 months per YEAR there with visitor visas.

[Nick&Diane 32]

Can I go back to the UK for another 6 months after such a short amount of time? If I could do that I wouldn't be so stressed out about this. I'd read on the UK gov website you couldn't spend more than 6 months per YEAR there with visitor visas.

6+1.5+3+1.5=12

6 months together in the UK, 3 months together in the US, 3 months apart.

[DannybearsGirl 0]

Oh, right. Sorry.

Okay. So that would suck but it's doable. Something nobody has answered, for the US waiver visa, after he successfully gets it does the 3 months time start counting down instantly? If so, we wouldn't be able to buy our plane ticket in advance and it would cut into the actual time we have together.

Also, do you know if people often get rejected for the spouse visa, or should we be okay as long as we've met the requirements? I'd love to be able to spend 2 years at a time with him, I'm just nervous about spending $1400 on something that might just get rejected.

[Nick&Diane 32]

Oh, right. Sorry.

Okay. So that would suck but it's doable. Something nobody has answered, for the US waiver visa, after he successfully gets it does the 3 months time start counting down instantly? If so, we wouldn't be able to buy our plane ticket in advance and it would cut into the actual time we have together.

Also, do you know if people often get rejected for the spouse visa, or should we be okay as long as we've met the requirements? I'd love to be able to spend 2 years at a time with him, I'm just nervous about spending $1400 on something that might just get rejected.

Ha ha ... Got it

To get a visa waiver your fiancé has to apply for ESTA (online, very straight forward) more than 72 hours before he travels. He must also have a passport which is valid for a further 6 months after his intended return date.

Once he has successfully submitted the ESTA his visa waiver is valid for two years. It means he can enter the US at any time for a visit of up to 90 days. However he has waived all rights to appeal and he can get turned away at the border ... It is down to the discretion of the border officer.

To minimise the risk of being denied entrance to the US you he could consider shorter visits and he should travel with documents showing ties to the UK such as property rental agreement, employment, bank account, car ownership, etc. basically the border officer wants to be satisfied that your fiancé is not likely to overstay.

Whatever you do, do not overstay any visas ... Your case can get complicated very quickly if you do.

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

You're going in circles, and you've been given a lot of good advice here. First and foremost, there is NO living together for two years requirement. Not here, not in the UK. You appear to be hung up on the cohabiting partners issue, which is not and likely never will be your case. Nick & Diane gave you a good game plan, but bear in mind you or your boyfriend can always be turned away at the border. If you're young, living at home or at school, not making a lot of money, and have few ties to your own country (read: can you or he prove you will go home?) you risk being turned away. It happens. It says nothing about your relationship, but both countries have to deal with visa overstays regularly.

You're young. You know you're young. Heck, when I was barely (and I mean barely) older than you I fell in love with a guy from London while I was on a working holidaymaker visa there, and I was convinced we couldn't live without each other. We had the benefit of a much easier UK spousal visa protocol back then, but I thought I would literally pass away if we couldn't be together. If we hadn't been able to get married for whatever reason, we would have just had to suck it up and deal -- and this was in the early days of the internets. No Skype, no cheap calls. But I like to think we would have made it anyway.

I ended up living in the UK for a dozen years. No lie -- it was tough in the beginning. I had been on holiday there several times, had worked there for six months, and studied for four, but nothing prepared me for the long haul, everyday, this isn't holiday, this is my life-ness of it. But I slogged on, and often it was fantastic! But it was an uphill battle for years.

Time for big girl panties. You and your boyfriend are going to have to figure this out. Your best bet, since you both have limited incomes, is for him to come to the US and for the two of you to marry, after spending more time to get to know each other on VWP trips. (The more, the better, if only for the sake of figuring out how you feel about each other.) He then returns to the UK while his spousal visa is processed. You both take that time to solidify your marriage and your finances. He can visit you, you can visit him. Get a joint sponsor for the financial aspect. He comes over, you live in wedded bliss and then figure out if you want to move back to the UK at some point.

Or he can get a job paying at least £18k and do it on his side. There's no way of getting around these things, and trust me, you will not die being apart for a few months at a time. A good friend of mine has been apart for over six months from her husband of many years while he's setting things up for them abroad. She doesn't enjoy it, but it's something to be endured.

You'll find quickly there's little to no sentimentality in marriage-based immigration, and no amount of railing at the unfairness of it all (and it can seem very unfair, especially on the UK side) is going to change that. You'll be fine. Everyone else on here has done it, is doing it or is about to do it, so why not you?

[DannybearsGirl 0]

Ha ha ... Got it

To get a visa waiver your fiancé has to apply for ESTA (online, very straight forward) more than 72 hours before he travels. He must also have a passport which is valid for a further 6 months after his intended return date.

Once he has successfully submitted the ESTA his visa waiver is valid for two years. It means he can enter the US at any time for a visit of up to 90 days. However he has waived all rights to appeal and he can get turned away at the border ... It is down to the discretion of the border officer.

To minimise the risk of being denied entrance to the US you he could consider shorter visits and he should travel with documents showing ties to the UK such as property rental agreement, employment, bank account, car ownership, etc. basically the border officer wants to be satisfied that your fiancé is not likely to overstay.

Whatever you do, do not overstay any visas ... Your case can get complicated very quickly if you do.

Thanks, that's all I needed to know. Nobody was giving me details just vague information or things I already knew. Now I have somewhat of a plan figured out.

[DannybearsGirl 0]

You're going in circles, and you've been given a lot of good advice here. First and foremost, there is NO living together for two years requirement. Not here, not in the UK. You appear to be hung up on the cohabiting partners issue, which is not and likely never will be your case. Nick & Diane gave you a good game plan, but bear in mind you or your boyfriend can always be turned away at the border. If you're young, living at home or at school, not making a lot of money, and have few ties to your own country (read: can you or he prove you will go home?) you risk being turned away. It happens. It says nothing about your relationship, but both countries have to deal with visa overstays regularly.

You're young. You know you're young. Heck, when I was barely (and I mean barely) older than you I fell in love with a guy from London while I was on a working holidaymaker visa there, and I was convinced we couldn't live without each other. We had the benefit of a much easier UK spousal visa protocol back then, but I thought I would literally pass away if we couldn't be together. If we hadn't been able to get married for whatever reason, we would have just had to suck it up and deal -- and this was in the early days of the internets. No Skype, no cheap calls. But I like to think we would have made it anyway.

I ended up living in the UK for a dozen years. No lie -- it was tough in the beginning. I had been on holiday there several times, had worked there for six months, and studied for four, but nothing prepared me for the long haul, everyday, this isn't holiday, this is my life-ness of it. But I slogged on, and often it was fantastic! But it was an uphill battle for years.

Time for big girl panties. You and your boyfriend are going to have to figure this out. Your best bet, since you both have limited incomes, is for him to come to the US and for the two of you to marry, after spending more time to get to know each other on VWP trips. (The more, the better, if only for the sake of figuring out how you feel about each other.) He then returns to the UK while his spousal visa is processed. You both take that time to solidify your marriage and your finances. He can visit you, you can visit him. Get a joint sponsor for the financial aspect. He comes over, you live in wedded bliss and then figure out if you want to move back to the UK at some point.

Or he can get a job paying at least £18k and do it on his side. There's no way of getting around these things, and trust me, you will not die being apart for a few months at a time. A good friend of mine has been apart for over six months from her husband of many years while he's setting things up for them abroad. She doesn't enjoy it, but it's something to be endured.

You'll find quickly there's little to no sentimentality in marriage-based immigration, and no amount of railing at the unfairness of it all (and it can seem very unfair, especially on the UK side) is going to change that. You'll be fine. Everyone else on here has done it, is doing it or is about to do it, so why not you?

We already know what we want we don't need to waste more time ducking around and wasting money on 3 month visits. I finally got the info I needed. Sorry you had to wait so long but neither I nor my fiance want to spend 12 years of our youth living in anguish. That's time spent we could be having all kinds of adventures together. Yes, it would be worth it, but if at all possible we don't want to do it. i have no fear of spending an extended amount of time in England, I have little friends and family here I care about and he is honestly the only true family I have anyway. Our relationship isn't in question and we don't need to waste anymore time "getting to know each other" we've had 8 years of that. Time to get on with our lives.

Thanks everyone, I'm off, I appreciate all the advice!

[Nick&Diane 32]

Thanks, that's all I needed to know. Nobody was giving me details just vague information or things I already knew. Now I have somewhat of a plan figured out.

Okay. Good luck.

Congratulations on your blossoming relationship, I hope you are reunited soon.

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

Errrr, I was one of the lucky ones and didn't actually have to spend any time apart from my beloved. But okay then!

[Nick&Diane 32]

You're going in circles, and you've been given a lot of good advice here. First and foremost, there is NO living together for two years requirement. Not here, not in the UK. You appear to be hung up on the cohabiting partners issue, which is not and likely never will be your case. Nick & Diane gave you a good game plan, but bear in mind you or your boyfriend can always be turned away at the border. If you're young, living at home or at school, not making a lot of money, and have few ties to your own country (read: can you or he prove you will go home?) you risk being turned away. It happens. It says nothing about your relationship, but both countries have to deal with visa overstays regularly.

You're young. You know you're young. Heck, when I was barely (and I mean barely) older than you I fell in love with a guy from London while I was on a working holidaymaker visa there, and I was convinced we couldn't live without each other. We had the benefit of a much easier UK spousal visa protocol back then, but I thought I would literally pass away if we couldn't be together. If we hadn't been able to get married for whatever reason, we would have just had to suck it up and deal -- and this was in the early days of the internets. No Skype, no cheap calls. But I like to think we would have made it anyway.

I ended up living in the UK for a dozen years. No lie -- it was tough in the beginning. I had been on holiday there several times, had worked there for six months, and studied for four, but nothing prepared me for the long haul, everyday, this isn't holiday, this is my life-ness of it. But I slogged on, and often it was fantastic! But it was an uphill battle for years.

Time for big girl panties. You and your boyfriend are going to have to figure this out. Your best bet, since you both have limited incomes, is for him to come to the US and for the two of you to marry, after spending more time to get to know each other on VWP trips. (The more, the better, if only for the sake of figuring out how you feel about each other.) He then returns to the UK while his spousal visa is processed. You both take that time to solidify your marriage and your finances. He can visit you, you can visit him. Get a joint sponsor for the financial aspect. He comes over, you live in wedded bliss and then figure out if you want to move back to the UK at some point.

Or he can get a job paying at least £18k and do it on his side. There's no way of getting around these things, and trust me, you will not die being apart for a few months at a time. A good friend of mine has been apart for over six months from her husband of many years while he's setting things up for them abroad. She doesn't enjoy it, but it's something to be endured.

You'll find quickly there's little to no sentimentality in marriage-based immigration, and no amount of railing at the unfairness of it all (and it can seem very unfair, especially on the UK side) is going to change that. You'll be fine. Everyone else on here has done it, is doing it or is about to do it, so why not you?

This is all good advice.

OP I would advise you to heed the wisdom of those that have gone before you.