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Hi one of my friend , she moved as immigrant and on conditional resident I think. She is married for almost 20 months and on CR1 for 11 months. She had baby here in US and got pregnant here and delivered. She lives in 4 bed room house with her husband, house belongs to his brother. There are total of 10 people in the house. She was bettered multiple times and last night she called me to tell me that, her husband beat him with belt. Finally she called the police last night who came and saw marks of belt on her body and bruises. They arrested her husband despite she said to police it is ok now.

She has been battered many times by her husband, her mother in law and they treat her like slave. She works all day at home, take care of her baby and still get abused. Her English is very broken. I think she is both physically and mentally abused. I am writing on behalf of her as she is not good in English.

I advised her to go Shelter house and I think it is important for safety of her baby and her. Police offered her to take her with them, but her family played game with her and told her, now they would not let any thing happen to her. I do not believe her family.

Any thoughts what she should do, I told her to go to shelter house. If some one can drop message for more help, would appreciate it.

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I agree, she needs to get to a refuge and seems the Police would have helped.

Nothing you can do if she wants to stay.


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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She needs to take the baby and leave the home. There are many resources available to her as a battered spouse. She already has her green card so immigration is not a problem. She should try to grab some proof of a legitimate marriage on the way out the door, such as proof they lived together, joint insurance, and anything else she can find that proves they had a real marriage.

At this point the most important thing for her to do is leave NOW before something more serious happens. Abusers do not change!

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Agree. I told her to go to shelter place as she was not safe. They try to snatch her kid and snatched her bag.

She was able to move out with kid but they snatched her bag which has her documents, school certificate, degrees and other documents.

Well atleast she is safe now. I am not sure what she should do next. I feel very bad for her.

Any thoughts what she should do next. How can she get documents back.

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Ask the police to get them back.


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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Police first, file with the court for a restraining order. A restraining order can usually be obtained by visiting the courthouse or she can ask the police how she can obtain one. At the hearing for the restraining order she can inform the court they stole all her documents and obtain an order for them to be returned or request the police escort her to the residence to obtain the stolen property.

Glad to hear she left. Please emotionally support her so she doesn't return.

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Ok. I will tell her.

Can anyone tell what is process for such kind of cases. If some one, knows about battered spouse case, please send me private message, I can email or even talk or any good attorney I can talk on her behalf. I do not know how should I help her and she does not know much English to figure out herself.

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The Shelter will be able to guide her.


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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Regarding her immigration, it sounds like she has her conditional green card. At the conclusion of two years she will have to file for Removal of Conditions. She can file with a waiver as an abused spouse. The standard is fairly high for proving this, but a police report and arrest of her husband will likely meet it.

Unless I'm mistaken, this not only permits her to file without her husband's involvement, but resets the standard of proof from "preponderance of the evidence" (i.e. a 50/50 standard that the marriage was legitimate) to "clear and convincing evidence" (a higher standard of showing it was not legitimate). If she can show that she lived with her husband and had a baby, that will likely be enough, and they will probably not require a lot of the usual evidence like joint bank account statements and the like.

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Thank you for all your reply.

She is in shelter. Social worker saw her. Police report she has.

She has few pics with him, video of wedding, recent joint bank account, she told me she did file tax jointly but she does not have any tax record.

She is from Southeast Asia. Very broken English and they never let her out of the house that's why she does know much culture.

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The IRS website allows you to download tax records if you provide SSN and other personal info. It's not a copy of the returns submitted, but it's something that immigration would accept if needed in the future.

If she goes to the police, they will definitely help her obtain her belongings. I had a friend who was battered and the police escorted her to and into the house and protected her while she gathered her belongings.

She needs to take time to get on her own footing here - separate bank account, gathering of documents, find new place to live, job, etc. She really needs a divorce. You were and are a good friend to support her and help her get to a safe place. She needs healing time and help to establish herself as a free individual. One step at a time. And perhaps she can take some ESL classes to help her with her language skills. If she feels like she's taking steps for herself it's going to go a long way to rebuilding her self esteem and strength, belief that she can be ok on her own and not go back to a bad environment.

I see you are in California, so I assume she is. That's a community property state so in a divorce she should be protected financially in a divorce. If there's a pre-nuptual agreement there what I learned is that a pre-nup may not be enforceable if it's in english and one of the signing parties is not fluent. I spoke with a lawyer on this when I had mine drawn up and I was told that my husband, who is fluent in English, could claim that and win as I only had an English version and not Dutch.

Edited by mtempelaar

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Hi, I am so glad that she left, that is the hardest part, when she actually takes the first step to not want to be abused anymore. It takes a lot of courage to do that.

She should be able to get all of the help that she needs at the battered women's shelter. They will have a legal advocate who can help her navigate the legal system so she can get all of the help that she needs regarding, filing restraining order against her abusers, going to court with her, divorce and child custody and immigration. She will also have a women's advocate within the shelter that can help her with getting and setting housing, school, childcare assistant, medical and some financial assistance too. They will be great resource for her to get reestablished again and on her own, to heal and to have hope. The shelter will have or locate women's advocates that can speak to her in her own language so she feels comfortable, especially if she is living in California, there are many Southeast Asians living in California so they'll have many resources for her. Here are two of them that are in California:

http://www.apiidv.org/about.php

http://www.apwcla.org/

Feel free to private message me. I worked in this field as a Women's Advocate. I'm also from Southeast Asia, if you or your friend needs additional help and resources let me know.

Edited by Lena&Islam

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