Can Beneficiary's own mom cause problems with process?

[ChristinaG 91]

Sadly, my own mom is rather upset with my upcoming marriage to an American and our plans to live together in Michigan (even though it's only about 2.5 hours from my current hometown!). She has some rather choice comments Happily the rest of the family is thrilled!

She is upset that I am even considering moving my two children away from the rest of their family. I have spoken to my ex-husband and he is okay with the move (as I have agreed that getting the kids back to town will be my responsibility - another long story).

I am wondering though as we get ready for our wedding in less than three weeks, and the I-130 filings after that... could she potentially cause problems for us in the process?

Has anyone had any experience like this??

Cheers

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

What problems could she cause? What does she have to do with the process?

[lizascissors 65]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but other than being a big pain in the patootie, I don't think she can do anything on an official basis that would interfere with the process

[Ian H. 207]

Oh parents, you gotta love them right? lol Just because she doesn't agree with your marriage doesn't mean whatsoever that you will have any problems. Think of all the people that get married and their parents don't agree with their relationship, it doesn't stop them from getting married and living together. The support of your mother would be beneficial to you emotionally, but not legally. Also why would she be upset about you taking your kids? It's better for children to be with their mothers anyway. The fact that you move them here won't stop them from being able to see their dad ever again, or him from coming to visit them here. You will have no problems with USCIS because of that.

Edited July 28, 2014 by ianhalliwell186

[ChristinaG 91]

Thanks peeps!!

That is what I was thinking.... but just wanted to check in to see if anyone had (or heard of) experiences to the contrary...

I spent a lot of time on a divorce forum while I was going through that.... and had come across many tales of the ex causing problems for the parent trying to move away or even cross the border with the kid(s).... I'm grateful that my ex is (so far!) on the same page as me....

Sadly, it just would not surprise me for my mom to pull some sort of idiotic stunt like trying to hire a lawyer to block my application or whatever!! LOL!! While I believe that to be highly unlikely, I like to prepare for the worst and celebrate when that doesn't happen (yes, I work in insurance ) LOL

[ricsim78 11]

It will not cause problems with your application process, but it is not good when someone you want to support you, well does not!

For the process, full steam ahead and worry not. As for your mom, keep telling your mom how much you love him and how happy you are. She might change her tune, maybe not but I think after long she will have to accept.

[ChristinaG 91]

Also why would she be upset about you taking your kids? It's better for children to be with their mothers anyway.

Thanks..... she calls it selfish that I would move the kids away from the rest of their family and put my relationship ahead of their needs!!

I laughed hard at that one!!

[Hypnos 6,576]

She'll either come around or she won't, just don't waste time worrying about it. My wife's family are asshats too, to the point where we have no contact other than when they want to see the kids.

[Dualie 185]

As previous posters have said, the process has nothing to do with your mom. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Your mom is being the selfish one, and I really do hope, for your children's' and your sake that she does come around...especially with the rest of the family on your side. Maybe once all is said and done and you have moved and things progress smoothly, she will calm down and accept the situation. You are fortunate to live only 2.5 hours away...it could be across the country. I wish you the best of luck on your journey and hope your mom comes around soon!

[Nick&Diane 32]

Emigrating is hard on family members - especially parents. Give her some time to come to terms with the situation. Don't laugh at her concerns, she might be kitchen sinking but it sounds like she is genuinely upset that you and the kids are moving away. There are lots of positive things to remind her like you are generating a new family environment for you and the kids, their dad is supportive and 2.5 hours travel is nothing for family. At the same time though do not belittle her concerns and anxiety, recognise that this is difficult for her.

My mum and I had a very difficult year after my husband and I first announced our plans to emigrate. Two years on and my mum is amongst our most supportive loved ones. Her two biggest concerns were: 1) she was very upset that I was to leave, 2) she worried that I wouldn't have the same family/friend support structure once I got to the States.

I haven't emigrated yet but the relationship between my mum and me has transformed over the last 2-3 years and we're in a much better place to deal with the day I go.

It takes time - have patience.