ROC Abuse route

[TooBlessed 3]

Hi all I just joined this forum this week and read alot of good responses. Im due to remove conditions off my residency and jst wanted to know if Im doing it right. this time I am doing it by myself because I cant afford a lawyer (pls let me know of a good probono- ). So here:

Been with my bf since 2008, we met in college, in 2011 we married. Filed in 2012, expires in 08/2014. Same 2012 he didnt want tobe married started cheating and would not find a job because i had a good job and was chipping in. Gross disrespect towards m family and I. I had enough by 2013 and threw him out since he's been living with me all these time. before he left he assaulted me. Got arrested, jailed for some days. I pressed charges and later dropped after he came to beg with his life (had witness). since then I havent seen him till now. One of his girlfriends is now pregnant (from reliable source), they live together (no clue). He was going to initiate divorce but never did till now

Called some lawyers around to ask a few questions....One said I should file for divorce before applying for ROC. I know they require lots of evidence i only have few. Bank statement, some bills in both names. After incident and by dec13, i took him off all my accounts & insurances (car, health, life,...i was so done), he took most of our pics and marriage documents (i retrieved a few from internet) I can get friends to write endorsed letters, some communication between us...since the fight (as I switched phones). Court documents, Police reports, hospital bill. i had little bruising and lost those pics too (will check with EMT). Is this enough to get approved? Although physical assault happened once i wasnt going to put up with this, after a long time of psycho abuse (basically).

Currently I workfulltime and in school fulltime. Financially drained out, no savings at all since im funding my sibilings' education as well.

So.1. wait till final divorce decree or start now (I wanted to begin both)?

2. are evidences enough? ( Im still gathering)

3. Probable outcome?

HELP PLEASE

Thanks in advance.!!

Edited May 16, 2014 by Yesuba

[Pitaya 2,576]

~Moved form ROC Forum to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits Forum~

~Similar topics are often discussed at this forum~

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Have you considered just doing the divorce waiver? You have evidence for the period from 2012-2013?

[huy_le 32]

I think you will have to file for divorce first, then apply for ROC via divorce waiver. Some evidences I can think of:

- Gather all prior documents with your and his names on it. For example, prior insurance policy card. These help prove you entered marriage in good faith.

- Gather all the pictures of the assault (you mentioned EMT, try it), get all policy reports, court documents. Get affidavits from witnesses. If you can get all these documents it would be the best proof of your fall-out because nobody entered a fake marriage to be beaten up.

Anyway, good luck! You deserve a better life.

[Cheezees 1,514]

You could file for divorce and do a divorce waiver or you have the option to file an "abuse" waiver. The good thing is you would not need a lawyer in either case. Without his signature you cannot apply on your own otherwise. I'm sorry to hear what has happened to you. Good luck!

[huy_le 32]

She can apply on her own if it's filed through a waiver. That's why it's called waiver.

[Sandra G. 5,021]

If you choose to file the waiver based in extreme cruelty you don't need a divorce decree, if you decide to file based just in bonafide marriage then you need a divorce decree.

[AnotherLostSoul 167]

So, if he didn't want to marry you back in 2012 then why did you guys got married? That sort of seems like a green card scam in USCIS eye...the rest I have no idea. I never had anyone arround me in a messy situation like you, so I cannot give advice on that. All the best with whatever you decide to do!

Hi all I just joined this forum this week and read alot of good responses. Im due to remove conditions off my residency and jst wanted to know if Im doing it right. this time I am doing it by myself because I cant afford a lawyer (pls let me know of a good probono- ). So here:

Been with my bf since 2008, we met in college, in 2011 we married. Filed in 2012, expires in 08/2014. Same 2012 he didnt want tobe married started cheating and would not find a job because i had a good job and was chipping in. Gross disrespect towards m family and I. I had enough by 2013 and threw him out since he's been living with me all these time. before he left he assaulted me. Got arrested, jailed for some days. I pressed charges and later dropped after he came to beg with his life (had witness). since then I havent seen him till now. One of his girlfriends is now pregnant (from reliable source), they live together (no clue). He was going to initiate divorce but never did till now

Called some lawyers around to ask a few questions....One said I should file for divorce before applying for ROC. I know they require lots of evidence i only have few. Bank statement, some bills in both names. After incident and by dec13, i took him off all my accounts & insurances (car, health, life,...i was so done), he took most of our pics and marriage documents (i retrieved a few from internet) I can get friends to write endorsed letters, some communication between us...since the fight (as I switched phones). Court documents, Police reports, hospital bill. i had little bruising and lost those pics too (will check with EMT). Is this enough to get approved? Although physical assault happened once i wasnt going to put up with this, after a long time of psycho abuse (basically).

Currently I workfulltime and in school fulltime. Financially drained out, no savings at all since im funding my sibilings' education as well.

So.1. wait till final divorce decree or start now (I wanted to begin both)?

2. are evidences enough? ( Im still gathering)

3. Probable outcome?

HELP PLEASE

Thanks in advance.!!

[TooBlessed 3]

AnotherLostSoul. I appreciate you confirming your cluelessness. And no it wasn't a scam. Turned out I was being scamed. He exploited me this whole time n I never listened to this advice given. He used up my finances(without my knowledge) when I complained he wld say "well we married now so what is yours is mine too" mind you we were together/relationship for almost 4yrs before filing. I worked all the time through cpt or opt. And with my profession I cld renew those. We started talking about babies, pressure from family,etc. Even before we got married..I helped him out in so many ways I.e paid for classes n rent, food, gas etc so he graduate from college (that never happened). Got to a point I was just tired...he never held a job or didnt want to work cos old mama "Christmas me" will give whatever. For those wondering why? I loved/cared for him and was trying to help my husband out thatd what partners do. I was in for a surprise.

I was naive and ignored alot of signs (that I will admit). Upto to point of cheating with my friends when i go to work overnight. It was too much...

For the rest of you thanks so much for the reply. I filed for divorce and im glad all these will end soon. At first I didn't want to renew it but careful thought I figured iy will be all a waste If I didn't.

Im gathering as much as I can retrieve. Will apply in June. Will keep yall updated. Thanks so much. This is very helpful.

[TooBlessed 3]

Hello guys, thanks so much for the tips on how to ROC. My divorce is finally over, time to apply to ROC. I having been reading alot of threads on how to remove the conditions. i spoke with a lawyer and she said, since the incident occured onetime it wil not be enough to file under "abuse/cruelty,"...i disagree. how manytimes must one suffer violence? it should not occur in the first place. I know the divorce was files as uncontested/ but really it was due to the various types of abuse(the only way he would sign a waiver for an uncontested one) Where do I include that in the application. Secondly, I just found he is having exoecting a child with another female while we were still married.....through mutual friends on facebook....imgaine the humilation. I know of previous marital infidelities. Digging all thes info up just annoys me because I feel really used. Anyways how do I put all these together? I want to send everything in at once this month.

what should be included in the notorized letter from family & friends?

I retrieved most of the documents fro the initial application, should I include all that as well?

Although its an overwhelming process, I don't want to hire a lawyer, can't afford one now.

Please help!!

[Villanelle 4,121]

hmm. Im going to say this very delicately but as bluntly as I can okay?

I know it hurts very much to be abused and to suffer through something like you went through and then be told things like 'it doesnt matter' or theres no place to 'acknowledge it' on the forms because you are hearing- no one cares/one time is not enough etc..

First that is not true, people do care and there is various forms of help available. Look into counselling to heal yourself as it may be too late to pursue the matter in criminal court or civil court for some type of justice.

As for ROC, you like many other victims of abuse WANT a big fat label slapped on their spouse for personal satisfaction and acknowledgement that says 'abuser'. Its an invisible personal victory and justification to you the victim.

But heres why this is not practical.

ROC goes two ways if the spouse is not signing (waiver) Divorce or abuse. Sure you can check both.

Divorce just means you prove the bonafides of the marriage- period.

Abuse means it gets sent to the special abuse division (vawa in Vermont) who uses strict guidelines to screen applications to say does this qualify as abusive enough for the spouse to not have had signed?

In your case the incident was not enough. They (VAWA Vermont) have difference between crappy marriages and abusive ones, what they consider unhappy poor conditions- cheating, arguing etc, and abuse. You have to show and extremely high level of proof to Vermont to satisfy them. IF you dont your ROC is DENIED if you checked abuse.

Since you met with a lawyer who said your abuse proof wont meet the bar, please do not let your emotions and desire for acknowledgement of what happened get in the way of a successful ROC.

File based on the bonafides only and seek the acknowledgement through therapy.

[Sandra G. 5,021]

Capri your information is just partially correct,if she files I-751 waiver based in abuse then she does not have a Vawa case,since she is a green card holder already. The waiver can be submitted based in extreme cruelty(anything to do with Vawa),and it won't be adjudicated by the Vawa Unit either.

Cheating is not considered abuse ,disrespect towards your family is not considered abuse, being lazy to find a job is not considered abuse . You have to prove you suffered extreme cruelty and you need to have a psychological evaluation stating about the mental abuse you suffered, and you need to have a diagnose of major depression and or post traumatic disorder as well.Considering what you posted here you had a bad marriage, you were married to a loser,not to an abuser,you experienced unpleasant situations,but not extreme cruelty.

[tuckin14 58]

I'm not an expert on what constitutes "cruelty" but I am pretty sure of the following:

1) You can file with both waivers on the same form.

2) Crucially, there is a different standard of proof for an abuse waiver. For a regular divorce waiver, it is "preponderance of the evidence" - in effect a 50/50 standard, is it more likely that the marriage was bonafide or that it was not. For a cruelty waiver, it is "clear and convincing." Is there "clear and convincing" evidence that the marriage was fraudulent? If your "regular" case is at all shaky, it could be a huge help to have USCIS required to meet the stricter standard. If you have a smattering of positive marital bonafides and no adverse information, you would probably be approved.

A personal view; it would seem like one incident severe enough to land the perpetrator in jail should be enough. If your spouse assaults you, do you have to wait for them to break your bones? Put you in a coma? Is the first assault "free?" Now, I don't know how bad the assault was. My wife assaulted me maybe 20 times but none of them were severe enough to require medical attention. (I am the USC so it's not directly relevant.) I do kind of think that if I had hit her that hard once, it wouldn't be enough for a cruelty waiver. So I would personally think one minor incident isn't enough.

Disrespect is not cruelty. USCIS is not going to give a waiver because someone says "This is awful, didn't your freakin' mother teach you how to cook?" or even because they say "At least she takes care of herself, she didn't turn into a fat cow right after we got married." You can imagine the slippery slope if they tried to get into that stuff.

On a somewhat whimsical note, it seems imbalanced that if the CPR is a victim of violence they get a pass (waiver filing and lower standard of proof) but if they COMMIT the violence they pay no price.

[Sandra G. 5,021]

Tuckin extreme cruelty is "mental abuse", the alien has to prove that he/she suffered constant humiliation,degradation,control,threats,coercion etc...and because of the abuse inflicted the alien developed major depression and or post traumatic disorder.But as i said before "cheating" is not considered abuse by USCIS.If the person suffered physical abuse we say the person was "battered",if the person suffered mental abuse we say the person suffered "extreme cruelty",of course one,two isolated acts of humiliation will not constitute mental abuse,it must be a repetitive pattern of abuse.

[verysadguy 170]

Tuckin extreme cruelty is "mental abuse", the alien has to prove that he/she suffered constant humiliation,degradation,control,threats,coercion etc...and because of the abuse inflicted the alien developed major depression and or post traumatic disorder.But as i said before "cheating" is not considered abuse by USCIS.If the person suffered physical abuse we say the person was "battered",if the person suffered mental abuse we say the person suffered "extreme cruelty",of course one,two isolated acts of humiliation will not constitute mental abuse,it must be a repetitive pattern of abuse.

the key element is "prove"

We must share that for VAWA the burden of proof relies on the claimant's affidavits and testimonials as often there is little concrete evidence when it comes to emotional abuse and "extreme cruelty."

It is a subjective weight of suffering absorbed by the claimant. A good storyteller (liar) who can convince a handful of individuals and present a clear, convincing, and compelling tale of woe (perhaps coached by experts) to a licensed therapist for that determination of emotional abuse is fairly easy to do.

I wish there was more scrutiny and a stronger evidentiary methodology for VAWA, but sadly there isn't.