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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted (edited)

Hi, I arrived here in the US as a fiancee and my husband and I got married a year ago. My son from a previous relationship (10 years old) arrived around August as a "to follow". The thing is, my ex lives here in California as well and I permitted him to see his son who he has not seen since 2004.

Right now i only live with my husband's family because we don't have a house yet, I work and my husband works so we decided to get an apartment for my father (who moved here) and my son so my father can send my son to school and take care of him. I really want to live with my son and my family but right now the situation is I can't have my son living with my in-law's house (there are 10 people here already in just one house). The apartment I rented for them is a few blocks from mine, it is all i can afford but sadly it is for 1 person and I only spoke to the owners they agreed to let my son stay with my father.

My ex is now threatening to take my son from me claiming that he should be taking care of my son since he has a house with his new wife. My ex and I were never married, he got here in the US because he bought a social security number, he also got arrested by immigration because he was suspected as an illegal immigrant and he couldn't provide the papers. He was in jail for about 3 months and he had a really good lawyer because they stretched his time in the US for about 1-2 years before he was to be deported.

One the week that he was supposed to be deported, he married his friend.

I only mention these things because it has been an emotional strain for me. My ex told me that he only wants me to save up and be able to get an apartment until then he wants to keep my son.

I was willing to let him take care of my son until my son told me that he (my son's biological dad and my ex) was going to pretend to return my son after I get an apartment, but he isnt going to return my son at all. Knowing his shady personality, I have refused to speak to him.

It has been less than a year since my son got here and I have not filed for his social security yet. I already have mine. Now my ex and his wife keep asking if I have already filed. My husband tells me they are just waiting until my son has a number so they can make a move and take him.

Right now my husband told me we will just move to Hawaii to my mother's apartment, that way we can all live in the same house. I feel bad my ex will not be able to see his son because we'd be in a different state, but he has threatened me with child protective services, his lawyers and cops ever since my son got here, all to cause fear in my heart because I don't have my own apartment.

Please help, does he have a right to take my son because my son and I aren't living in the same house? My father is taking care of him he is in good health and is making progress in school, I also see him on my day offs.

Also am I in danger if I file an SSN for my son, does that open a pandora's box of horrors?

I'd like to add, my ex isnt a good person. I wanted to believe this and I think it would've been easier if he didnt threaten me or make my life miserable. He has not paid child support in years (last time was 2007 or 2008) and ever since my son got here there was no child support either. I did not ask him because I was scared. sad.png That support could probably help me have enough money to get an apartment so my son and I can be together but of course my ex and his wife would rather have me in my situation, much easier for them.

My husband does not think they are trustworthy or good people at all, cause why would he only want to take his son now that his son is conveniently here, but rather when back home years ago he COULDNT take his son.

Thank you for your time and hoping to hear from you soon.

-A

Edited by saramwrap
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Italy
Timeline
Posted

So threaten to counter sue him for back child support... But I would find any way I could not to put my child in the possession of "bad people" .... Furthermore, how can he threaten your unfit when he has not supported the chi,d since 2007/2008. What is the custody (legal) situation now? Being he was born out if wedlock, I am assuming you have a sole custody order? But I would get to a place you all could live together, and Hawaii is as great a place as there is.

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
Timeline
Posted

Is your ex also from the Philippines? Do you have any documents showing your custody from the Philippines? If I understand the laws in the Philippines is that you have full custody, and the father has no rights to the child. The father is probably getting information from his girlfriend who is not aware of those laws. If you did not need any type of consent/court Order from the Father before you brought your son here, it is most likely due to the US already aware that the father has no rights.

Stop giving them any information, I'd probably go as far as cutting off all communication with him.

Moderator Hat on

~~Moving thread to the Philippines forum as members there will be able to help you more as they would be better familiar with their laws.~~

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted (edited)

Is your ex also from the Philippines? Do you have any documents showing your custody from the Philippines? If I understand the laws in the Philippines is that you have full custody, and the father has no rights to the child. The father is probably getting information from his girlfriend who is not aware of those laws. If you did not need any type of consent/court Order from the Father before you brought your son here, it is most likely due to the US already aware that the father has no rights.

Stop giving them any information, I'd probably go as far as cutting off all communication with him.

Moderator Hat on

~~Moving thread to the Philippines forum as members there will be able to help you more as they would be better familiar with their laws.~~

I only have the birth certificate, I do not have any custody papers. He did acknowledge paternity on the back of the birth certificate but I found out his real name is not the same as the name he has here in the US, since he bought his identity they misspelled it and he now probably needs to get a dna test because the name isnt the same, it is the same but it is misspelled, like they put 2 words together into one.

Thank you for your suggestion, I have not spoken to him honestly ever since my son got here, because even before my son got here he was threatening me and demanding me on emails to give up my child to him. We are all baffled and confused (my family, my husband) because it through us my son got here and he had nothing to do with it, except he paid $700 for my sons plane ticket thats about all what he did and I am starting to regret that now.

So threaten to counter sue him for back child support... But I would find any way I could not to put my child in the possession of "bad people" .... Furthermore, how can he threaten your unfit when he has not supported the chi,d since 2007/2008. What is the custody (legal) situation now? Being he was born out if wedlock, I am assuming you have a sole custody order? But I would get to a place you all could live together, and Hawaii is as great a place as there is.

thanks for your concern/response, we don't have any custody papers i just have a birth certificate..in my country i have sold custody.

Edited by saramwrap
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
Timeline
Posted

I know for my older kids since they were born in Canada, Canadian family law is always what we have to go by. If I wanted to change anything it must be done in Canada. The US cannot change anything in my court orders they will honor what I have from Canada, as I'm sure that is what will happen in your case also. Maybe getting someone in the Philippines to get an attorney to right up real fast something about the laws there, in case you ever need it.

If you can pay back the plane ticket and ignore the father. They probably think the boy can give him leverage to stay..

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Citizenship for older 2 boys

Filed 03/08/2014

NOA/fee waiver 03/19/2014

Biometrics 04/15/14

Interview 05/29/14

In line for Oath 06/20/14

Oath 09/19/2014 We are all done! All USC no more USCIS

 

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
Timeline
Posted

~~One post removed, another post removed for quoting--if you cannot give advice without attacking the OP Do not post~~

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Met Playing Everquest in 2005
Engaged 9-15-2006
K-1 & 4 K-2'S
Filed 05-09-07
Interview 03-12-08
Visa received 04-21-08
Entry 05-06-08
Married 06-21-08
AOS X5
Filed 07-08-08
Cards Received01-22-09
Roc X5
Filed 10-17-10
Cards Received02-22-11
Citizenship
Filed 10-17-11
Interview 01-12-12
Oath 06-29-12

Citizenship for older 2 boys

Filed 03/08/2014

NOA/fee waiver 03/19/2014

Biometrics 04/15/14

Interview 05/29/14

In line for Oath 06/20/14

Oath 09/19/2014 We are all done! All USC no more USCIS

 

Filed: Other Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted (edited)

Your husband petitioned your son as a step-son, I believed US law recognized your husband as a legal father of your child

THE FAMILY CODE OF THE PHILIPPINES: Executive Order No. 209

Art. 176. Illegitimate children shall use the surname and shall be under the parental authority of their mother, and shall be entitled to support in conformity with this Code. The legitime of each illegitimate child shall consist of one-half of the legitime of a legitimate child. Except for this modification, all other provisions in the Civil Code governing successional rights shall remain in force. (287a)

Edited by FirstOfficerD
Posted

I think he's just bluffing when he tells you he'll get CPS and the cops involved. He came to the US fraudulently, has not paid child support and is still not helping out your son financially and his name on the birth cert is different from his identification documents in the country... he'll have a hell of a lot to fix first before he can have a strong case in court. Even your son is concerned about his future with his biological father. Maybe moving to Hawaii is the best thing for your family right now. It might help alleviate your stress and you and your son will be far away from someone so conniving.

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Posted

I only have the birth certificate, I do not have any custody papers. He did acknowledge paternity on the back of the birth certificate but I found out his real name is not the same as the name he has here in the US, since he bought his identity they misspelled it and he now probably needs to get a dna test because the name isnt the same, it is the same but it is misspelled, like they put 2 words together into one.

Thank you for your suggestion, I have not spoken to him honestly ever since my son got here, because even before my son got here he was threatening me and demanding me on emails to give up my child to him. We are all baffled and confused (my family, my husband) because it through us my son got here and he had nothing to do with it, except he paid $700 for my sons plane ticket thats about all what he did and I am starting to regret that now.

thanks for your concern/response, we don't have any custody papers i just have a birth certificate..in my country i have sold custody.

"He bought his identity".... So he is here illegally? Maybe I misunderstand something, but exactly what kind of leverage does an illegal immigrant have in this country? Does he have any say whatsoever? That sure would be wrong to me if he does.

Filed: Country: Vietnam (no flag)
Timeline
Posted

Your husband petitioned your son as a step-son, I believed US law recognized your husband as a legal father of your child

THE FAMILY CODE OF THE PHILIPPINES: Executive Order No. 209

Art. 176. Illegitimate children shall use the surname and shall be under the parental authority of their mother, and shall be entitled to support in conformity with this Code. The legitime of each illegitimate child shall consist of one-half of the legitime of a legitimate child. Except for this modification, all other provisions in the Civil Code governing successional rights shall remain in force. (287a)

No. US law does not recognize the stepfather as the legal father. The only way for a stepfather to be a legal father is a legal adoption.

Filed: Other Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted (edited)

No. US law does not recognize the stepfather as the legal father. The only way for a stepfather to be a legal father is a legal adoption.

I'm sorry aaron, I'm only referring for immigration purposes only, you do not need to adopt a child to be a legal father if you meet the three prolong test
I'm sure that the step-father met those prolong test
Validity of an adoption and the three-prong test. Though the INA does not define
“adopted” or “adoption,” BIA precedent establishes that an adoption must create “a legal
status comparable to that of a natural legitimate child” between the adopted and the
adopter. Matter of Mozeb, 15 I&N Dec. 430 (BIA 1975). Thus, it does not matter what
name anyone gives to an adoption. For immigration purposes, what matters is whether
or not the order determining the custody or care of a child satisfies the three-prong test:
It creates a legal permanent parent-child relationship between a child and someone
who is not already the child’s legal parent, and
• It terminates the legal parent-child relationship with the prior legal parent, and
• It does the above under the law of the country or place granting the adoption.
The law in some jurisdictions allows a step-parent to adopt the children of his or her
spouse, if the legal parent-child relationship with the other legal/biological parent has
been terminated by death or legal action. The continuing legal parent-child relationship
between the child and the adopting step-parent’s spouse does not preclude recognition
of the adoption.
Edited by FirstOfficerD
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted (edited)

"He bought his identity".... So he is here illegally? Maybe I misunderstand something, but exactly what kind of leverage does an illegal immigrant have in this country? Does he have any say whatsoever? That sure would be wrong to me if he does.

he was here through a travel visa and it expired. i only mentioned it because i want to know how strong his case is.

he could be bluffing but it really is stress and trauma especially since my son and i are close and we've been together since he was born. my ex told my father that he is willing to make/sign papers promising to return my son , but my son is the one who tells me his biological dad is planning to keep him even after the promise of returning him once we've gotten our own place. my son is scared that he will be away from me. he loves his dad but he senses something is wrong.

my current husband said my ex might fake a signature on the papers that he will sign that said he will return my son after our having our own place.

@sennabrigante thank you, everyday i face anxiety and i cant sleep at night because i don't know how to make a lot of money to get our own apartment with my salary, my husband is new at his workplace. we all did not expect this to happen when my son got here.

like i said i was willing to share my son and forget the past but i think my ex just does not want to pay the child support, and hes thinking if he gets his son he wont have to pay for it.

i honestly dont care for his child support, even though it would be useful, but i'd just rather have my son safe in my mind to be with me always.

im new to this country and my area and im trying to find a good immigration lawyer here. should i get a family lawyer or immigration lawyer? my ex was threatening me with cops, child protection services and his lawyer. i have no lawyer i am making minimum wage and i dont want to burden my husband so this is on my own salary.

Edited by saramwrap
Filed: Country: Vietnam (no flag)
Timeline
Posted

I'm sorry aaron, I'm only referring for immigration purposes only, you do not need to adopt a child to be a legal father if you meet the three prolong test

I'm sure that the step-father met those prolong test

Validity of an adoption and the three-prong test. Though the INA does not define

adopted or adoption, BIA precedent establishes that an adoption must create a legal

status comparable to that of a natural legitimate child between the adopted and the

adopter. Matter of Mozeb, 15 I&N Dec. 430 (BIA 1975). Thus, it does not matter what

name anyone gives to an adoption. For immigration purposes, what matters is whether

or not the order determining the custody or care of a child satisfies the three-prong test:

It creates a legal permanent parent-child relationship between a child and someone

who is not already the childs legal parent, and

It terminates the legal parent-child relationship with the prior legal parent, and

It does the above under the law of the country or place granting the adoption.

The law in some jurisdictions allows a step-parent to adopt the children of his or her

spouse, if the legal parent-child relationship with the other legal/biological parent has

been terminated by death or legal action. The continuing legal parent-child relationship

between the child and the adopting step-parents spouse does not preclude recognition

of the adoption.

What you quoted is about a legal adoption.

Anyways, this is not an immigration matter. It's a family law matter an immigration is not relevant.

 
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