Government Opening Free Gas Stations in Poor Neighborhoods

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

There goes my free shyte.

Government Opening Free Gas Stations in Poor Neighborhoods

First 'Obamastation' Debuts in Detroit, Seventy Planned Nationwide

As the battle over Obamacare rages in Washington, the White House is quietly using a little known provision of the law to roll out a nationwide network of free gas stations for minorities and the poor.

According to a report in The Detroit News this morning, the administration is using its authority under the Affordable Care Act to "improve transportation routes to hospitals" to dispense gasoline free of cost in disadvantaged neighborhoods.

The $2 billion-a-year program aims to distribute 40 million gallons of free gasoline each year through 70 new gas stations constructed in major metropolitan areas. The Department of Health and Human Services (DHS) will be responsible for operating the network, whose first station opened yesterday in Detroit.

"It's not something we're publicizing very much, for obvious reasons," explains Dori Salcido, assistant DHS secretary for public affairs. "But under the law we are well within our rights to offer this service, and we think it's good public policy.

"How are people supposed to get to the doctor's office if they don't have gas in their cars? Health insurance is worthless if you can't make your appointment. This is just another fine example of government stepping in and solving big problems."

No Gas for You

Although some developing oil-rich nations like Venezuela and Indonesia subsidize gasoline for the poor, the practice has never before been tried in the United States. The plans are proving controversial with some taxpayers who are loathe to see their money go to subsidize others.

"So basically I'm being punished for not living in the ghetto," says Colin Blair, a white person from the affluent Detroit suburb of Farmington Hills. "I have three kids and a mortgage. Life isn't cheap for me either. I could use some free gasoline too."

An investigation into the station's operations, however, reveals that Blair is unlikely to be able to use the service.

"Supposedly access to the station is determined by income," says Ebony Jackson, manager of the first Obamastation. "But it's pretty unrealistic to do an income check on each and every driver. So what we do is basically let all the black people pump for free, and charge all the white people the market rate."

The Obamastations scandal was uncovered by Nolan Finley , a conservative Detroit News columnist widely lauded for his groundbreaking exposé on Obamaphones. Finley says the blatant racial bias in the program is only one of its many outrageous aspects.

"The stations have Obama campaign logo on them and giant photos of the president," he explains. "He's trying to buy votes ahead of the midterm elections. This is something you normally only see in third world countries. I've never been more scared for our democracy."

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

You need to be careful posting this stuff, you'll have the right in here having aneurysms. Lost is really thinking 37 people OD'ed on weed.

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

You need to be careful posting this stuff, you'll have the right in here having aneurysms.

Careful? I don't see the downside.

[Karee 4,190]

You need to be careful posting this stuff, you'll have the right in here having aneurysms. Lost is really thinking 37 people OD'ed on weed.

No doubt.

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

Careful? I don't see the downside.

We have to save the ones we can, inside every right wing person is a compassionate, logical person just dying to get out. We just have to show them the way.

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

We have to save the ones we can, inside every right wing person is a compassionate, logical person just dying to get out.

I want some of whatever it is that you are smoking, Marv.

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

I want some of whatever it is that you are smoking, Marv.

[janet&adonis 57]

This story is false per snopes

http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/gasstations.asp

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

That'll do.

Edited January 8, 2014 by Mr. Big Dog

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

That'll do.

I'll pass it once I'm done, hope you ain't got no germs!

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

This story is false per snopes

http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/gasstations.asp

Edited January 8, 2014 by Mr. Big Dog

[canada_socks 97]

This story is false per snopes

http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/gasstations.asp

It's false per the fact it was reported via "The Daily Currant". A satire "news" site.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

This story is false per snopes

http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/gasstations.asp

Well, duh!

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

I have no idea if I am spoda be on the right or the left. But I for DAM sure am moving to Detroit so I can gets me sum free gas!! (I wonder if they allow concealed carry of handguns and shotguns?)

[Darnell 8,478]

This story is false per snopes

http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/gasstations.asp

Hi !!! handy hint - hover around the top line, see if an url pops up anywhere,

then eyeball for 'Daily Currant'...

See that? No need to do further research, as The Daily Currant contains satire articles that might seem real.