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Melo

Freaked

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Have had a major fight with the woman who gave birth to me... won't call her mother coz the word implies love and caring something she cannot give to her daughter... she never has and never will... she can only love my brother... ** I should be used to it by now... her whole fcuking family is the same... typical fcuking Indian values... and one wonders why I hate this fcuking country!!! Anyway I just told her I do not want her or any member of her disgusting family at my wedding... am still freaked... don't know what to do to calm down... have never been able to understand how women can love a child if it is the right gender and hate/deprive another if it is not... ** all these fcuking women should have nothing but sons... then there will be no women to marry their darling sons. The more I see of this country the more I loathe it... the societal values are so full of sh#$ - the films are full of sh$% - bias is inherent in this country... try talking to an untouchable and you will know... they say there is no longer untouchability here... just as there is no gender bias... like hell there isn't...


Paul and I met on the Bazaar on the 14th January (he joined my progressive rock forum that day)

July 3rd he flew to England to meet me

We fell in love while he drove all over the place coz I cannot read maps (we were supposed to go to Ingleton - but touched Darlington 4 times, Pierce Bridge 6 times, Scotch Corner twice and Bernard Castle twice and we never did make it to Ingleton)

It has been so long and so much has happened in between...

Arrived in Houston on October 29th 2006

Married 17th November 2006

Lost my father 8th January 2007 (all dates are a blur after this)

Conditional Green Card dated 24th October 2007

I-751 posted on 6th August 2009

Received on 7th August 2009 in VT

Melo's Prog Bazaar

CTTE

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hey Melo

sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I cannot understand the background values of your country however I totally know what its like to have a good old fight with my Mom and boy do we have a lot!

I have to say its actually been easier since I moved here. Before, she always used to put her two cents into every decisions I made, kinda like putting salt in a wound and that put a strain on my previous marriage for sure. Now I tend to email here and there and perhaps phone every other month for like 10 mins and its made our relationship better. I would totally try and put aside the issue of you being a daughter not a son, cos in the end it damages your feelings and thats totally unnecessary. Focus on planning that wedding of yours and making it a happy occassion. I didnt have any of my side there cos my Mom has fear of flying but it didnt make it any less special. It was bout Doug and I not them, so perhaps you ought to think that way too. In the end, they will be the ones regretting the way they acted, not you. So keep your chin up, listen to some soothing music or watch a funny movie you enjoy and just focus on you and your hun :)

Love & ((((((hugs)))))

Sheridan


12/07/05 - receive K1 & K2 visa from embassy

12/09/05 - flew to Lincoln, NE - moving to USA to be with my hun :)

12/27/05 - apply for SSN

02/03/06 - receive SSN

02/04/06 - WE TIE THE KNOT :):)

02/09/06 - applied for State ID - learning to drive.....

02/13/06 - re-applying SSN - married name

02/15/06 - starting AOS and EAD process

02/18/06 - finally got everything in the post (certified mail via USPS)

02/20/06 - package delivered to Chicago (on Presidants Day??)

02/27/06 - NOA1 for 2x AOS and EAD

03/04/06 - biometrics letters received for 2x AOS & EAD

03/13/06 - biometrics appointment in Omaha, NE

03/14/06 - both AOS and EAD got touched... as a result of biometrics?!

06/09/06 - EAD approved

08/03/06 - AOS interview - APPROVED!

11/05/06 - found out we were pregnant :):):):):):):)

07/09/07 - Gabriella is born 7lbs 4oz. - 20 inch. long - an Angel sent from above

05/02/08 - Immigration again... removing conditions this time....

05/09/08 - My son received his extension letter

05/13/08 - I receive my NOA1 - here for at least another year!

05/28/08 - getting my biometrics done

09/30/08 - GC APPROVED - CARD PRODUCTION ORDERED!!!!!!!!!

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Canada
Timeline

Sorry to see your freaking out so bad. :(

Can you call a good friend to talk with, to help you thru this.

How does your brother feel that your mom is like that to you and not him?

Have a strong drink of something to calm ya down some.


PEGGY & ROGER

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K-1/K-2 VISA'S APPROVED IN MONTREAL MAY 2, 2005

K-1/K-2 AOS APPROVED IN ATLANTA MAY 17, 2006

10 year GC Approved - APRIL 16th ,2009 - Peggy and Jonathan's......

Still waiting for our cards...Had to file I-90 as they sent them to the wrong address.

March 9th, 2010, Received GC that has been lost in the mail for 10 months. Still waiting for my son's that is lost as well.

Filed Waiver for my son's 10 year GC and it was approved. He finally received his GC after its been missing for 2 years.

Thanking God this is over for 10 years.

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Thanks Sheridan... I just feel consumed with rage... her attitude has fcuked my entire life up... normally am able to put it behind me after a while... as I will this too eventually... but it hurts... I never go anywhere with them... I don't hang out with them when my brother is here... I have never felt a part of their family... over the years my dad has become more and more like her though he is still quite a caring person... I guess it is due to the fact that he hangs out with her low-life family... my mum and her family love to fight... in fact I cannot think of a single day when my mum has not screamed at someone or another... generally that someone is my dad or me... she never screams at my brother, nor would she dare do that to his wife coz if she did she would never see her son or grand-son again... when I look back on my life I see nothing but misery... right from the time we came to this bloody country... I wonder how and why I survived!!!

Sorry to see your freaking out so bad. :(

Can you call a good friend to talk with, to help you thru this.

How does your brother feel that your mom is like that to you and not him?

Have a strong drink of something to calm ya down some.

My brother is a lot like her... he never used to be... but after his first marriage to an Indian woman through which he suffered much... he turned into this cold and angry person


Paul and I met on the Bazaar on the 14th January (he joined my progressive rock forum that day)

July 3rd he flew to England to meet me

We fell in love while he drove all over the place coz I cannot read maps (we were supposed to go to Ingleton - but touched Darlington 4 times, Pierce Bridge 6 times, Scotch Corner twice and Bernard Castle twice and we never did make it to Ingleton)

It has been so long and so much has happened in between...

Arrived in Houston on October 29th 2006

Married 17th November 2006

Lost my father 8th January 2007 (all dates are a blur after this)

Conditional Green Card dated 24th October 2007

I-751 posted on 6th August 2009

Received on 7th August 2009 in VT

Melo's Prog Bazaar

CTTE

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zero offense intended (it's late and i've had a few) ... you're 50 yrs old. it shouldn't take you this long to figure out who your mother is. just because she's your mother does not give her the right to treat you like this. cut any and all people like this out of your life.

aim for happiness! :thumbs:


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Music___Lennon___Imagine_by_jjjean6.png

Faith: not wanting to know what is true.~Nietzsche~

“The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.”

~Winston Churchill~

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*hugs* 'nita

Soon she will be out of your life if only by distance and that will help you a LOT - think about that time and not the past - the past is immutable - the future is all yours.

(F)


Applied for K1

Met online 2001 - just aquaintances

Sept 2002 - 1st US visit - everything goes perfectly.

Dec 20th - Forms recev'd at CSC

Dec 27th - NOA1 received by snail mail!

Dec 29th - 'Touched'

March 10 2006 - NOA2!

March 23 - recv'd at NVC

March 24 - petition sent to London

April 9th - Pkt 3 rec'd!

May 17th - Pkt 3 signed for at London Embassy

May 24th - Medical

May24th - Pkt 4

June 14th - Interview 10am - APPROVED 1pm!!

June 16th - Visas received in my hot little hands 1pm :)

July 19th - flying to US!

July 27th - Married!! :-)

Aug 7th - Applied for SSN in married name

Aug 9th - SSN received

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I'm not a lawyer I just have opinions on everything :)

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:( awwwwwwww darlin'.......I am sorry........how awful for you. Keep strong. My kids had to deal with something, whilst not exactly the same, but had to deal with their father speaking terribly of them and cutting them from his life when they wouldnt conform to his whims. It hurt them, regardless that they say they just dont care. The biggest *HUGS* to you. You don't need someone like that. You can still love out of the fact she is your mom....but there is nothing saying you have to like or put up with.

Lorelle (F)


You can find me on FBI

An overview of Security Name Checks And Administrative Review at Service Center, NVC & Consulate levels.

Detailed Review USCIS Alien Security Checks

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View Timeline HERE

I am but a wench not a lawyer. My advice and opinion is just that. I read, I research, I learn.

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Canada
Timeline

*hugs*

I know how you feel. In China it's often the same mentality. I grew up knowing my mother always favored my brothers. If she hasn't changed, well then you just need to show her where you stand. And maybe refusing to let her come to the wedding will make her realize her actions.


Barbara (Canada) & Dallas (USC)

AOS

Nov 13 2005 EAD & I-485 sent to Chicago Lockbox

Nov 22, 2005 EAD & I-485 NOA1

Dec 15, 2005 Biometrics for EAD & I-485

Dec 19, 2005 EAD & I-485 Touched

Jan 21, 2006 Rec'd I-485 Fingerprint Reschedule Notice (AHHH!!!)

Feb 10, 2006 Fingerprint App't

Feb 1, 2006 EAD Approved!!!!

Feb 11, 2006 Rec'd EAD card

Feb 13, 2006 Applied for SSN

Feb 17, 2006 Rec'd SSN

Feb 23, 2006 I-485 Transferred to CSC (AHHH!!)

Mar 02, 2006 I-485 Has been received at CSC

Mar 13, 2006 I-485 Touched

Mar 14, 2006 I-485 Touched

Apr 15 & 25 2006 emailed CSC for status inquiry on I-485

Apr 26 2006 received a response from CSC, another response in 60 days (ahhhhh!!!)

Apr 27, 2006 I-485 Touched

Jun 17, 2006 I-485 Touched

Jun 19, 2006 I-485 Touched

Jun 20, 2006 I-485 Touched

July 3, 2006 emailed CSC again, no response given in the allotted 60 days time frame.

July 27, 2006 received a response from CSC, another response will be given in 30 days.. ha ha ha.

***app sent back to Missouri ***app sent to Chicago

Aug 21 2006 touched

Sept 29 2006 3rd year Anniversay

October 13, 2006 Immigration Interview - Need to return with Long Form Birth Certificate

October 13, 2006 Long Form Birth Cert ordered with expediated shipping

October 18, 2006 Birth Cert Received

October 19, 2006 2nd Immigration Interview - APPROVED

5-20 business days for the Green Card to arrive, maybe I'll be back to see my family before Christmas?

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Thanks so much


Paul and I met on the Bazaar on the 14th January (he joined my progressive rock forum that day)

July 3rd he flew to England to meet me

We fell in love while he drove all over the place coz I cannot read maps (we were supposed to go to Ingleton - but touched Darlington 4 times, Pierce Bridge 6 times, Scotch Corner twice and Bernard Castle twice and we never did make it to Ingleton)

It has been so long and so much has happened in between...

Arrived in Houston on October 29th 2006

Married 17th November 2006

Lost my father 8th January 2007 (all dates are a blur after this)

Conditional Green Card dated 24th October 2007

I-751 posted on 6th August 2009

Received on 7th August 2009 in VT

Melo's Prog Bazaar

CTTE

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Canada
Timeline

Melo, now that you've probably calmed down some, I know it is frustrating, but the best thing you can do is show them how a real adult behaves :) Invite them all to the wedding anyway and show them that their behaviour will not change your position.

I've never been to India so I don't know, but I hear it's freaking hot there in the summer.

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Australia
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Distance can be a Good Thing... just think how many miles there will be between you and your family after the wedding. It doesn't matter what your family thinks - you're doing what makes you happy and ####### them!


Karen - Melbourne, Australia/John - Florida, USA

- Proposal (20 August 2000) to marriage (19 December 2004) - 4 years, 3 months, 25 days (1,578 days)

STAGE 1 - Applying for K1 (15 September 2003) to K1 Approval (13 July 2004) - 9 months, 29 days (303 days)

STAGE 2A - Arriving in US (4 Nov 2004) to AOS Application (16 April 2005) - 5 months, 13 days (164 days)

STAGE 2B - Applying for AOS to GC Approval - 9 months, 4 days (279 days)

STAGE 3 - Lifting Conditions. Filing (19 Dec 2007) to Approval (December 11 2008)

STAGE 4 - CITIZENSHIP (filing under 5-year rule - residency start date on green card Jan 11th, 2006)

*N400 filed December 15, 2011

*Interview March 12, 2012

*Oath Ceremony March 23, 2012.

ALL DONE!!!!!!!!

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I have calmed down somewhat - but refuse to speak to her... I will invite her to the wedding... I cannot stay angry for long... and I hate hurting people even if they hurt me... I guess I sound nuts!!!


Paul and I met on the Bazaar on the 14th January (he joined my progressive rock forum that day)

July 3rd he flew to England to meet me

We fell in love while he drove all over the place coz I cannot read maps (we were supposed to go to Ingleton - but touched Darlington 4 times, Pierce Bridge 6 times, Scotch Corner twice and Bernard Castle twice and we never did make it to Ingleton)

It has been so long and so much has happened in between...

Arrived in Houston on October 29th 2006

Married 17th November 2006

Lost my father 8th January 2007 (all dates are a blur after this)

Conditional Green Card dated 24th October 2007

I-751 posted on 6th August 2009

Received on 7th August 2009 in VT

Melo's Prog Bazaar

CTTE

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Filed: Timeline

If they are being that horrible to you then I (personally) wouldn't invite them to the wedding...no sense ruining your special day if you know there are going to be people there who don't think you are special.

I don't understand the son/daughter thing either. My dear Dad has three daughters and has never once bemoaned that fact. We are all very successful and smart and all hung out with him when he went fishing, or car racing or any of those things. People need to realise that gender isn't important, it's how you raise your babies that is. I'm sorry you didn't get the support you needed and need...it's their loss.

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