Thanks again

[FaithfulandTrue 6]

Hello all. Again I want to thank all of you for helping me out in the past and even know. I am however in a rather difficult situation that I really don't know what to do. Apparently my ex said we abused him, which never happened. He said we kicked him out, we didn't he left. Both times. I had no idea that he did all of this stuff behind my back until after he left. Here is the thing. I have NO IDEA where he is. The place that has sent me stuff about medical stuff, what do I send his stuff there. This is getting really frustrating. Yes he may not want this stuff since he left it here, but how do I know this for certain. He lied before so who is to say that he isn't now. His sister gave me an email address. I know all of us are on edge because neither trusts the other. Even my lawyer TRIED to contract him and he wouldn't respond. I left the phone on so 1, he wouldn't say I left him without a way to contact his family and 2, my lawyer could contact him.

I have been forced to work for free(government shutdown), had to stay at home due to illness for the past 2 weeks(not sure when I will be back). We need to move,but now because of all of this, we can't. He KNEW I was ill before while we were dating. He KNEW stress caused me to act "strangely". He complained so much to the point I said if you don't like it go home. Of course that was said out of anger, otherwise the police would have been called. I didn't do that. I don't know what else he has done, but morality wise, it doesn't add up. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'm not, but I strive to do the right thing. I am being held liable for this stuff he has done. Now that I think about it, he was preparing to leave because he thought I had his tag decal. I didn't. I am still floored that he complained about 2.75 for cigarettes that he said I fussed at him about. It wasn't about the money, but cancer causing agents that took my dad's life and my ex said he would try to stop and all I could see was me as a little girl, BEGGING my dad to stop. I was about 4 or 5 when he accidently burned me in my hand with one. So I associated pain with those things. I even tried to smoke them when my husband came to "fit in" but that quickly fizzled, no pun intended. I cannot be something I'm not. My dad died in '93 from a brain tumor as a result from this, plus he worked in a coal mine

My dad worked hard to provide a place for us to live and I entrusted that to this man that ran off like this. So how do I feel? I am forever kicking myself for trusting him. Why did I trust him? I trusted him the second time because of his Koran. I said surely he wouldn't hold a holy book in his hands and lie. Well I guess people do it all the time in court when they put their hands on the bible too. Sorry for the ranting. I just want this to stop. So in my position, I don't want him saying I did away with this stuff too. There was something that he said there was domestic abuse. What domestic abuse if you left on your own. Then you ask for money back saying I'm not your family anymore?! What is that? I have heard of Rent A Center, but not rent a husband and I certainly wouldn't try to buy anyone's love. You either love me or not, simple as that. I am posting this because I believe this was a game all along and I guess it is checkmate to him because I don't know how to play chess, both in real life and in real love. I don't play games with hearts. Anyway, what do I do now. How do I give my lawyer a way to contact his lawyer or even him? We may not have a place to stay in a little while. My doctor had to let me be off for a minute and has had to change my meds which can cause craziness for sure. I am a little bit more stable than I was a few weeks ago. I mean being called a on the phone by someone and I gave them the information they wanted anyway?!?! It just brought back all of the pain he put me through. Just because I have a sitdown job and his was retail doesn't mean I have it easy. Just because I make more and him less doesn't negate his responsibility to me as his wife. He said I was taking his money. When he first got hired, he said he needed to send 300.00 to some man that helped him in Egypt and he gave me 50.00 per month, not week. He was getting 1000.00. We didn't have joint accounts when he got his 2 year card so there is NO telling what he did. Again I mean no harm to anyone on this site, but if you do not love us, please don't come. I lay dying on the floor and he has a smirk on his face. We I guess this was a family business deal and I wasn't family. My family and friends tried to warn me but I didn't listen. We got married 2 days after he got here so this was planned to be a shakedown by his family.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

You're just venting right? Cause I don't see why you are concerned about him at this point.

[FaithfulandTrue 6]

You're just venting right? Cause I don't see why you are concerned about him at this point.

yes this is venting to me.. I'm sorry if you misunderstand me..being accused of abuse and being abused at the same time.. I guess both of us are guilty of that.. him saying be like this and that and me reacting.. that was never going to be a happy ending.. sorry Gowon.. there is something here that, well just never mind that part.. please don't get me wrong.. it's just I had no idea what was truly going on.. we NEED to move and can't.. I'm sorry if you don't understand.. I am not working right now, sorry.. I am trying to get better at handling pressure but this is just too much.. I just don't want anyone to go through what WE went through.. please again don't misunderstand me.. I am typing without correct grammar now.. sorry.. also please about the Koran thing, don't think I meant that as if he was Muslim that I am better.. that's not what I mean.. so how Gowon do you give something back to someone that you don't know where they are.. the reason why I say this is that someone lost a piece of mail by us one time.. it was a check.. I'm quite sure they needed it..maybe the bank would reissue it I'm sure.. this is not the case here.. since I was falsely accused of something I didn't do and maybe return to sender, how do I well never mind.. thanks anyway..

[Jawaree 717]

The man is gone....Is/does the medical affect U? if not let it go

These R the fall-outs from ppl running games on each other for

GC swearing to love while they cuss the US govt. for not getting

thru the process fast enough

[Mithra 1,185]

If he's gone from your home and his mail is still coming there write a note on his mail saying no such person at this address and put it back in the mail. Don't worry about his stuff or contacting him. It's time to let things go. Be happy he's out of your home and life. You really need to put the past behind you. Nothing can be done to stop the past and the damage that was done. Forget about him now. He's no longer your problem.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

If he's gone from your home and his mail is still coming there write a note on his mail saying no such person at this address and put it back in the mail. Don't worry about his stuff or contacting him. It's time to let things go. Be happy he's out of your home and life. You really need to put the past behind you. Nothing can be done to stop the past and the damage that was done. Forget about him now. He's no longer your problem.

This.

[FaithfulandTrue 6]

This.

I'm trying.

The man is gone....Is/does the medical affect U? if not let it go

These R the fall-outs from ppl running games on each other for

GC swearing to love while they cuss the US govt. for not getting

thru the process fast enough

yes it does affect me.. why do you think I am here.. yes I know there are really bad people, both American and foreign.. yes I got angry at this ####### and I cry because of my mother andi kids.. I made an oath to my dad on his dying bed to take care of here and I blew it.. it was very important to me.. I have an older sister.. I don't know if he asked her first.. don't you know her name SHOUKD have been on there but wasn't.. she appeared to be selfish.. I was going to put her name on there the first time I filed for divorce buthe was in a shelter here.. I had no idea why.. my city is quite dangerous and I cared for him.. tnow my family hates me.. that's why the tears.. he knew what was happening to me.. I didn't need this.. at one point my mom didn't have any money to even be buried with.. how do you think that made me feel to almost be in the same boat again.. the house is falling apart and I Iasked him to help us.. so you hate them too.. sorry soliloquy again, but it is needed in this case

If he's gone from your home and his mail is still coming there write a note on his mail saying no such person at this address and put it back in the mail. Don't worry about his stuff or contacting him. It's time to let things go. Be happy he's out of your home and life. You really need to put the past behind you. Nothing can be done to stop the past and the damage that was done. Forget about him now. He's no longer your problem.

I was doing pretty good until the bills started coming. At first I was getting coordination of benefits letters and didn't know why. Now I know. He didn't have to put me down on something like that. I wouldn't do it to him or anyone, even if I didn't have the money. I would have said could they bill me instead of using someone's insurance like that. That would have been the moral thing to do. My immune system is down because of all of this. I can't go to the doctor because I don't have the money and I won't ask my money for anything else, although I know she would do it. She would give her all for all of us , him included. That's why the tears, for my mother. Also I failed my ded.

[QueenE 173]

As far as his property I think there is a certain amount of time that has to go by before it is legally considered abandoned property.. you should ask your lawyer the time frame and what you need to do before getting rid of the property ( so that everything you did is documented). Just in case he turns around and tries to sue you for the property.

[Teddy B 17,251]

I'm trying.

yes it does affect me.. why do you think I am here.. yes I know there are really bad people, both American and foreign.. yes I got angry at this ####### and I cry because of my mother andi kids.. I made an oath to my dad on his dying bed to take care of here and I blew it.. it was very important to me.. I have an older sister.. I don't know if he asked her first.. don't you know her name SHOUKD have been on there but wasn't.. she appeared to be selfish.. I was going to put her name on there the first time I filed for divorce buthe was in a shelter here.. I had no idea why.. my city is quite dangerous and I cared for him.. tnow my family hates me.. that's why the tears.. he knew what was happening to me.. I didn't need this.. at one point my mom didn't have any money to even be buried with.. how do you think that made me feel to almost be in the same boat again.. the house is falling apart and I Iasked him to help us.. so you hate them too.. sorry soliloquy again, but it is needed in this case

I was doing pretty good until the bills started coming. At first I was getting coordination of benefits letters and didn't know why. Now I know. He didn't have to put me down on something like that. I wouldn't do it to him or anyone, even if I didn't have the money. I would have said could they bill me instead of using someone's insurance like that. That would have been the moral thing to do. My immune system is down because of all of this. I can't go to the doctor because I don't have the money and I won't ask my money for anything else, although I know she would do it. She would give her all for all of us , him included. That's why the tears, for my mother. Also I failed my ded.

Have you sought professional help? If you can't afford it, you may qualify for medicaid. There are also counselors who offer discounted rates for low income folks.

Good Luck.

ETA: I see in the other thread that you say you are seeing a therapist. I wish you well.

Edited November 1, 2013 by Teddy B

[FaithfulandTrue 6]

Have you sought professional help? If you can't afford it, you may qualify for medicaid. There are also counselors who offer discounted rates for low income folks.

Good Luck.

ETA: I see in the other thread that you say you are seeing a therapist. I wish you well.

Yes I have professional help. I had that even before I met him. My doctor has changed my medicine 3 times. I am having facial spasms because of all this stress. From all the crying, I have to wear shades even at night. My eyes are very dry. I have been hospitalized 2 times this year for headaches and chest pain. They had to rush me from my job because of that. All while we were married there were several times I had to go to the ER for chest pains. Please bear in mind I mean no harm. I just don't want anyone to go what what we went through. I was too trusting. It's not about looks or anything like that. It has never been that way with me. I am not Beyonce but I do get hit on, even while we were married and he laughed as if that was impossible. My heart always sank when he did that. I would often at night or very early in the morning just drive with the music loud and cry and ask God why so much pain. I have some bump on my chest that needs to be checked out, but I don't want them to tell me what I think it MAY be. I have been exposed to smoke since I was little and the old building that I worked in had asbestos in it. They moved us to this new building. In the old building it was on the higher floors. This house needs repairs, which he knew and wouldn't help, but still wouldn't take his name off of her house. So to say we kicked him out, how is that possible. I don't own a weapon. I have a young child here. She likes to come and get in the bed if she gets scared. The times that he and I did laugh, I often wondered was that a game too. I meant it all. I'm sorry Teddy B for going on and on, but we really need to move due to health reasons, as I said he knew about. He said is your mother going to pay it all and I can pay some. " I can't be responsible for 5 people". My God, he knew how many of us it was before he got here, plus my status. I didn't lie to him about it being hard here. My insurance is very high and they tax me at the highest rate. They asked me to change my exemption to S0, but how? It was because he wasn't being taxed almost at all. House repairs my mom paid. Taxes on the house my mom paid. His name was on it, why didn't he help. The last thing I remember him saying before he left is that he would never be broke again or end up in a shelter. He did the shelter thing to himself. No on ASKED him to leave, no police came to escort him away. He left on his own and said I abused him. When he came back the 2nd time he say an atm receipt for Regions bank and said you have another account?! I said it's an ATM receipt O_O. Wow. My head is still spinning from this marriage, I promise you. A guy is trying to see me, but I said no. He said why you still harping over that loser. I said it's not that at all. I am scared of bringing other men around my mom and kids. I don't just want to get laid, pardon me but just being real. I want a meaningful honest marriage. That's it. No games, no drama. A roll in the hay, no, those days are over for me. Thank you Teddy B for your kind words. God bless you

Edited November 1, 2013 by FaithfulandTrue

[AYMAN_RINA 92]

It's hard but you have to move on and focus on yourself and your family.If he left his things behind he must not need them.You tried finding him to give the stuff to him and you have proof you did.With any mail that comes there you write on it return to sender.Try calling some charity agencies to see if they can help you with money to move.It's a sad thing when someone you loved would do this to you but there is no changing what happened.I will pray for you and wishing you well........

[TBoneTX 43,285]

*** Thread closed; not immigration-related, and it duplicates large portions of the OP's other thread in this forum. ***

(Moderator hat off)

OP -- and this is said with all kindness -- everyone sympathizes with your situation, beyond a doubt. However, very few members here are lawyers or professional therapists, and it genuinely seems that this kind of advice is what would be of greatest aid to you right now. Have you considered establishing an off-line communication with someone who can reciprocate, or intensifying your relationship with professionals that you're in personal touch with? It honestly sounds like this would be a positive avenue for you. Folks here have offered just about all the immigration-related advice that there is to give.