Going crazy

[VetsWife328 7]

Ok so now here we go again.........this freaking divorce just keeps dragging on and there's nothng my man and I can do.....

The Sheriffs Department in the (ex hopefully soon!!) wife's city for some insane reason just can't serve the papers on her!!!!! It's been 5 (!!!!!!!!!) weeks by now.

Obviously we can't put our I 129F in until he's divorced......and that means that now my son has to start school in Germany.........Which is going to confuse him even mre since he will have to learn it all in German and then a few weeks later in Englsih........

I taught him the numbers and letters in English so far thinking we'd make it to WA just in time for him to start school in September........

(My son has ADHD and it's real easy for them kids to get confused.....)

Can anyone explain to me how it's possible that the Sheriff's Department is charging my man 75$ for the "service" when they don't do what it takes to have her served with the papers??????

The 90 day Countdown wont start until she's served with the papers in VA..........Good God I think the wait for the NoA 2 and the Visa will be a walk in the park in our case.............Going through this divorce ####### is really wrecking my nerves!!!!!!!!

Sorry just had to vent.........

[mrc 0]

Well, first of all, when they do serve these papers, how long do you think this divorce process will take? Have you looked at the laws governing the state which your fiance lives?

Edited December 5, 2006 by mrc

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Welll, unless I'm misunderstanding something...I'm the first to admit that I only come to off topic most of the time now, and that's sporadic, so I'm not really 'up' on where everyone is in their journeys right now...

It's really, really hard to wait, but I agree that it's probably going to be some time if you haven't even filed the I-129F yet..that will take a few months to process, at least, and the above poster is correct...just because the divorce papers are filed doesn't mean it will be final for a while yet. I know it really stinks, and I feel for you in that regard but I think it will be a while yet...as far as your son having to learn it again here 'in a few weeks' etc. Sorry I couldn't say something more encouraging! I'll try this..hang in there..it'll happen..and it's difficult..but it will be worth it too. Everyone needs to vent sometimes, so don't worry about THAT! M.

edited to add: DUH! I'm sorry..yes, I did read it incorrectly. You posted this just today, so quite obviously you meant *next* September...so you're quite aware of the time thing. Well, all I can say then is I hope, for your sakes, those papers get filed SOON! Good luck! M.

and one lastttttt thing...I can imagine how frustrated you are, but I don't imagine it's just that easy to serve someone with papers. My ex evaded the police for ages when they were trying to serve him papers to appear in court, and now he has a felony child support warrent out and they can't find him anywhere. They could just pick him up, but no luck. Little consolation to you, I know, but it may not be that they're not trying, it may be that she's just pretty sneaky! ARGH!!! though!

Edited December 5, 2006 by MichelleandCraig

[Identity 0]

Ok so now here we go again.........this freaking divorce just keeps dragging on and there's nothng my man and I can do.....

The Sheriffs Department in the (ex hopefully soon!!) wife's city for some insane reason just can't serve the papers on her!!!!! It's been 5 (!!!!!!!!!) weeks by now.

Obviously we can't put our I 129F in until he's divorced......and that means that now my son has to start school in Germany.........Which is going to confuse him even mre since he will have to learn it all in German and then a few weeks later in Englsih........

I taught him the numbers and letters in English so far thinking we'd make it to WA just in time for him to start school in September........

(My son has ADHD and it's real easy for them kids to get confused.....)

Can anyone explain to me how it's possible that the Sheriff's Department is charging my man 75$ for the "service" when they don't do what it takes to have her served with the papers??????

The 90 day Countdown wont start until she's served with the papers in VA..........Good God I think the wait for the NoA 2 and the Visa will be a walk in the park in our case.............Going through this divorce ####### is really wrecking my nerves!!!!!!!!

Sorry just had to vent.........

How long has your "man" and his wife been separated?

[rebeccajo 14]

How long has your "man" and his wife been separated?

A., about four or five years.

It's a long story but the OP definately didn't break up his marriage.

Nat, it's never been clear to me whether or not your husband has an attorney handling this or not. You are wasting time not having one. At the least he should be getting some assistance from JAG.

If you refuse to hire an attorney, then you need a professional process server. They don't cost a fortune. Probably more than $75, but you don't need a second mortgage for one.

Edited December 5, 2006 by rebeccajo

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

I think a 5 year old will adapt quicker than you think, even with ADHD.

[edsperfect 25]

I think a 5 year old will adapt quicker than you think, even with ADHD.

Even after service it is going to take you the better part of a year for the divorce to become final unless she agrees to everything.

[brnidokiegurl 1]

I think a 5 year old will adapt quicker than you think, even with ADHD.

Even after service it is going to take you the better part of a year for the divorce to become final unless she agrees to everything.

Isnt there an occassion where the second party can (never) be found, seems for some things they post in personals in newspaper the intentions and give time to respond, if no response the case continues on and they become a no show giving up any rights

[VetsWife328 7]

They have been seperated since Dec17th,2001.So almost excatly 5 years.And we met May 17th ,2005.

The divorce will be final exactly 90 days after she signed the piece of paper that says that the Sheriff's Department in her city has served the papers to her.......

So as soon as she IS served with the papers the 90 day Countdown starts and we at least know when we can put our I 129F in.

Yes I know there is the option of having her served by Publication.But you have to first of all proof that she for some reason can't be served with the papers by the Sheriff's Department and then the add has to be in the paper in VA for 3 weeks.

My man is a Truck Driver and serves the 11 Western States of the USA (until I get there,then he will switch his position.But being in the Truck all the time instead of siitting at home without us helps him deal with the seperation) so he's in WA maybe 5 days of the month and it's kinda hard to do all that court related stuff from on the road......

I really feel like there's no end in sight right now.....I MISS HIM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!! My son started peeing his pants again on a daily basis since we left Wa after a four week visit with my man (before he started his job so we actually spend 24 hours each and every day of those 28 days together) in September.....

It's really hard right now....And all I can wish for at this point is for fdinally receiving a date for the divorce...

And yeah we did read them apers carefully and went to legal aid,so the papers are fine and she doesn't actually have to sign the divorce papers,meaning she doesn not have to agree with anything in order for the divorce to go through.All we really need is the paper that says she's been served with the divorce papers.We were smart enough to get the set of papers that she does not have to sign.

I kinda became an expert on that since I filled all the paperwork out myself (Jim is really bad with papers,lol) and my man turned everything into court the day I left the US.

And yes I know he did it because the case is viewable online and I do look at it every other day just to see if something's been updated.

Thank you all for your support!!!!!

Nat

[TracyTN 237]

What's the 'insane reason' that the sheriff's dept is unable to serve her with papers?

[*julez* 124]

I feel your pain Natasha! I am in a similar boat as you! While my not-quite-ex husband has been served with papers, he will not agree to any divorce terms. Although I have sole custody of our 3 children, he is demanding that I pay him maintenance. So basically, for months we have been going to "expedited" matrimonial court, where his lawyer demands maintenance and my lawyer says we won't agree to those terms. We then get to reschedule to come back in a month's time where the exact same charade is played out. Its so frustrating!

The lucky thing for you is that once she is served, you know the end is in sight. For me, who knows how long this will drag on. The worst thing, as you pointed out, is the effect that this has on our children. My kids love my new man and he loves them. They do so well with him in their lives, but when he is away from us, its really hard on them. They just need stability. These other parties think they are punishing adults who have moved on in life, but the damage they do to innocent children is awful!

I will pray for you that things will move along quickly for you! I just wanted you to know that you're not the only one playing the waiting before the waiting game. Good luck to you! I'll look forward to hearing that you somehow have gotten the push forward you so desperately need!

[rebeccajo 14]

Nat, if the next step is proving that the Sheriff's Department cannot serve her, then the required time (whatever that might be in that state) will have to pass before the Deputy can certify that delivery was attempted. If she indeed can't be served, a sworn document from the Sheriff's Department will be required when the divorce papers are filed. The Sheriff's Department won't certify to anything until the legal time limit has passed.

The only thing I can suggest is your fiance' contact the Sheriff's Department to see if there is anything further they need from him and if not, what the next step is. They'll probably tell him time just has to pass.

Edited December 5, 2006 by rebeccajo