fighting/arguing with your foreign lover

[Bajari7 0]

Ever feel like why did I bring you here? about your foreign love after they come live with you in the US especially after arguments because of stupid misunderstandings. and mean words are exchanged similar to"go back where you came from" and "they would never treat me like this where I am from"?

Because if that has happen to you, i would like to know how that makes you feel and how u deal with it?

[MrMrsKnight 1]

Ever feel like why did I bring you here? about your foreign love after they come live with you in the US especially after arguments because of stupid misunderstandings. and mean words are exchanged similar to"go back where you came from" and "they would never treat me like this where I am from"?

Because if that has happen to you, i would like to know how that makes you feel and how u deal with it?

I'd feel so hurt and unwanted if David told me "go back where you came from".... I mean, he lived here in Brazil with me for so long and even though we fought every now and then, I never said that to him. I just think it's not something very sensitive to say. Specially because there's this huge emotional aspect of moving to another country, and I always thought that saying that would be like me not realizing or not caring about all the times he had to overcome homesickness just to be here with me. I'm sure he would've felt inadequate for a long time if I had ever said to him.

[Alex+R 0]

I'd call that dirty fighting, and I'd make sure to get it out of your relationship before it ruins the whole thing.

[Cassie 8]

If I ever hear that (ie. why did I ever bring you here) come out of my husband's mouth, I would be hurt to the core.

[pprcp 0]

Me, I don't take it seriously. I don't waste my time thinking about what he said at all. I'll just think that he just had a bad day!

Edited December 4, 2006 by pprcp

[babybunny 2]

I would say its the other way around buddy... now help me with the trash before I beat you like a dog.. lol...

bottomline ITs not a good thing to say to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with..

[Mags 112]

I'd call that dirty fighting, and I'd make sure to get it out of your relationship before it ruins the whole thing.

I agree Alex, that kind of comment will stay with you for a long, long time.

[Aymerlu 3]

Those are hurtful words. If I even said that to my husband I'm sure he'd be gone and I don't think I could blame him.

[tmma 467]

I would say its the other way around buddy... now help me with the trash before I beat you like a dog..

bottomline ITs not a good thing to say to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with..

Thanks Shonnie-it's great to see you post and you made me laugh! How are you doing?

As far as the topic goes, I think that for either one to use what I call the "ultimate trump card" ( i.e " go back to where you came from" or " well, I'll just go back to where I came from, then"), is not fair either way.

It's almost like an emotional extortion and holding the entire relationship and dangling it over one stupid arguement just in the heat of the moment.

Like " If I don't get my own way then I will......."yaddayadda...

Everyone argues, but Mark and I kind of have an understanding we won't use those particular lines to eachother..

Words can hurt; and to me those are some of the most hurtful because to think that either one would just threaten to " cut and run" as soon as things got alittle tough is an awful thought, made worse because of the LDR background and all the sshit you go through just to be together. Nasty phrases that have no place in an arguement, imo.

Personally I like Shonnie's line.

Edited December 4, 2006 by tmma

[JaJo 1]

Ever feel like why did I bring you here? about your foreign love after they come live with you in the US especially after arguments because of stupid misunderstandings. and mean words are exchanged similar to"go back where you came from" and "they would never treat me like this where I am from"?

Because if that has happen to you, i would like to know how that makes you feel and how u deal with it?

IMO that question can only have one meaning: the feeling he once had for me is no more; so I'd gladly "go back to where I came from"

[Caladan 19]

It's the nuclear option, really.

I don't think it means the end of a relationship. C. and I both fight dirty; we're learning to work past it and haven't had a serious fight like that in about a year and a half. But when both people have short fuses at least both people understand that sometimes people say things they don't mean.

[Karen_L 1]

Ever feel like why did I bring you here? about your foreign love after they come live with you in the US especially after arguments because of stupid misunderstandings. and mean words are exchanged similar to"go back where you came from" and "they would never treat me like this where I am from"?

Because if that has happen to you, i would like to know how that makes you feel and how u deal with it?

I would feel terrible if my husband ever said anything like 'what the hell did I come here for?" or "girls in my country wouldn't treat me this way!" Likewise, if I ever let slip during an argument something like "What did I even bring you here?" or "go back where you came from!" I would probably never stop apologizing to my husband because, to me, that is SUCH a hurtful thing to say. I think I could only ever say anything like that if I were prepared for the relationship to end and I really wanted him gone and out of my life.

That being said, we usually deal with cultural differences/misunderstandings rather calmly (at least so far). We talk about it, rather heatedly sometimes, but we don't yell at each other. i think the most important thing is to stay calm and not let it escallate into something more serious than it has to be.

[franklie 0]

I agree; that would be a mean thing to say.

[Mrs.J06 4]

Me, I don't take it seriously. I don't waste my time thinking about what he said at all. I'll just think that he just had a bad day!

Excuse me? It's one thing to have a bad day, and fights happen in every relationship, but if my husband ever said that ("why did I bring you here") into my face I'd pack my bags, burn the prenup, clean out the bank accounts and leave (in his car, of course...) Alright, just kidding but I think that's a very, very bad thing to say!

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Ever feel like why did I bring you here? about your foreign love after they come live with you in the US especially after arguments because of stupid misunderstandings. and mean words are exchanged similar to"go back where you came from" and "they would never treat me like this where I am from"?

Because if that has happen to you, i would like to know how that makes you feel and how u deal with it?

#######??? I am not a "thing" you bring anywhere. If anyone says something like that he/she deserves to be left. I can only imagine. The nerve. Disgusting.