Why are so many American Men connecting with Filipina's

[Hank_ 9,173]

So they are all great? Never any divorces, or them playing the USC for a green card? If so, then they really are special.

I can see this thread turning ugly quickly as soon as some American man says something nasty about American women.

(I guess it already did and now it's been cleaned up and re-opened.)

... and the guy that "drifted into dark territory" walks with a limp now...

... and yes, his posts were deleted.

Its a fun topic, posted in the Philippine forum... not intended to stir "other waters"

[DaRoq 36]

This has obviously failed miserably as a "brag thread". It would've been more interesting if the question were posed to the women...

[Hank_ 9,173]

Its not about bragging rights... its about what was the "draw" that brought the Kano to the Phils.

[Blue Bianchi 77]

Not all Filipino women are passive and servile, mind you. Have a little dignity, ma'am.

Because a Filipina wife finds joy in serving her husband.

[Hank_ 9,173]

Ain't that the truth!!

[MIRICK02 5]

Not all Filipino women are passive and servile, mind you. Have a little dignity, ma'am.

Hah~ am not referring to you, who are you to judge me? Am referring to me and to thousands of loving Filipina wives. Have a little respect!

[MIRICK02 5]

Not all Filipino women are passive and servile, mind you. Have a little dignity, ma'am.

and mind you, too, I am well-loved and respected by my American husband. You call that passive and servile? I call it uncondtional love. Think before you comment.

[Ban Hammer 12,864]

Hah~ am not referring to you, who are you to judge me? Am referring to me and to thousands of loving Filipina wives. Have a little respect!

it would be helpful if you understood "not all" does not necessarily include you, so don't take the previous member's statement personally, nor should you make it personal with that member.

charles

vj moderation

[actob99 156]

Judges ruling acceptable.. Lets all get along, love each other and be sweet. I love you all..

[MIRICK02 5]

it would be helpful if you understood "not all" does not necessarily include you, so don't take the previous member's statement personally, nor should you make it personal with that member.

charles

vj moderation

i wonder if you noticed that this woman was hitting below the belt, like the words "have little dignity, ma'am" ? now, do i take it personally or not?

[Ban Hammer 12,864]

i wonder if you noticed that this woman was hitting below the belt, like the words "have little dignity, ma'am" ? now, do i take it personally or not?

broad brush/generalizing statements about traits found in a specific gender from a nation may not sit well with other members.

[Blue Bianchi 77]

THE INTERACTION

The question was: "Why are so many American men connecting with Filipinas?" (The question solicits answers about generalizations and trends, not specifics.)

MIRICK02's answer was: "Because a Filipina wife finds joy in serving her husband." (An answer that clearly assumes that a majority (at most) or a part of the population (at the least) are sought after by American men primarily because they are servile wives.

I chimed in with: "Not all Filipino women are passive and servile, mind you. Have a little dignity, ma'am." (Filipino women I know who are industry leaders and professionals would cringe at MIRICK02's statement. And I did say, "Have a little dignity, MA'AM." Not "Have a little dignity, DUNGBEETLE." There IS a difference.)

THE DISSECTION

So what is she referring to when she said something was "below the belt"? That MIRICK02 is a servile wife? Clearly not, because she is proud of being one and takes her cue from the Bible (paraphrase from personal communication with MIRICK02).

What she perceives is below the belt is that I implied that she has no dignity. The Asian aversion to losing face also amplifies her reaction.

However, if she really believes that being a servile wife is a virtue,why was she so bothered by what I said?

WHAT IT COULD MEAN

This is my theory: MIRICK02 is having conniptions (as opposed to treating this whole exchange as your usual VisaJourney debate) possibly because part of her agrees with me. That promising woman/girl who has been shoved (By whom? Social and religious norms perhaps.) into the most isolated and hard-to-reach recesses of her brain--that woman who could have been something more than servant-wife, that woman who could have done just fine IN ANY COUNTRY--has been awakened.

This is a great example of cognitive dissonance, more specifically dissonance reduction. Here's the reader-friendly Wiki quote:

"Cognitive dissonance theory explains human behavior by positing that people have a bias to seek consonance between their expectations and reality. According to Festinger, people engage in a process he termed "dissonance reduction," which can be achieved in one of three ways: lowering the importance of one of the discordant factors, adding consonant elements, or changing one of the dissonant factors. This bias sheds light on otherwise puzzling, irrational, and even destructive behavior."

i wonder if you noticed that this woman was hitting below the belt, like the words "have little dignity, ma'am" ? now, do i take it personally or not?

Edited July 31, 2013 by Blue Bianchi

[actob99 156]

Thank you Blue Bunny for taking 3 days to write all of that.

[Hank_ 9,173]

..... get over it. Have some fun!

[adiiann 163]

Maybe use... "some" "most and not all"... when addressing characteristics... will resolve some arguments.

Anyway, majority of USC men think that most Filipina are easy to deal with and easy to control compare to USC women.

Tsk! Sadly this doesn't apply to me and my husband. So, I think we're part of those minority. LoL.