Why are so many American Men connecting with Filipina's

[DaRoq 36]

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Problem most often is people seek one thing and expect another. Every individuals shared desire to be a couple has a symbiotic purpose but not until you determine what that purpose is for each can decide if it is mutually beneficial, so my surmise is given the poverty level of many provinces in the Philippines and the average income of a divorced white male in their 40's seeking romance there is a larger pool of symbiotic needs, enough so to create a generalization and questions such as that which triggered this topic here and elswhere. For me though I love my doe as an individual and yes i am instinctively drawn to a small stature ( I'm not big myself) long beautiful black hair and eyes that melt my heart. And admittedly I did look at the statical value of divorced older males who marry never married younger filipina females having a much lower divorce rate .

"Uh-oh, Chongo!"...you've uncovered the proverbial "Elephant in the Closet".

[The Conqueror 47]

There is indeed more to Angeles City than the entertainment district of Balibago, Pampanga.

Just some thought about city so called "Angeles". People tend to generalize when they hear the city name. To look back a little further why such impression was different when they here about A.C. It is very well know as you mentioned entertainment district....there's no difference in Olongapo too. Basically when American were based in Angeles City and Olongapo thats how things started.

When I was young I am a little embarassed passing through Balibago, Angeles City. Seeing those ladies wearing almost nothing and making their way to make money to support their family. I was thinking there's a lot of ways to earn money, why it has to be that way? As I get older and matured, I began to realize it is because of POVERTY. Working there is a way to earn easy money. I am no one to judge who they are or how they work. The impression when you tell people that "I'm from Angeles City". The first thing comes into their mind is "Oh Uh Angeles City huh? where there a lot of .... ladies.who do.... that and this?". I don't blame them. I myself became a victim. When I worked just up norht of Angeles, the province of Tarlac, no one wants to be friend with me because of image of Balibago. They think all Filipina grew up in Angeles City has all the same nature of work. To think of it I worked only 30mins. away but the impression is way way different.

I worked as early as the of 17 years old factory worker, counter crew at McDonalds and Dominos Pizza and call center agent, to fulfill my dream to finish my college. I worked and went to school. I did not blame my parents because they were not fit to support us. But all of us 6 siblings made our way up because we worked hard. I lived abroad had a decent job. I reach my fulfillment as a career woman. And now after 20 years, I am about to marry an American not because of poverty. No one would ever understand me or anyone else who can say "I met my TRUE LOVE". If they never experience or felt that. Well we or I is not in the position of letting them understand it. People like us are all BLESSED to find our True Love. And I hope and pray for those who haven't see or feel that yet. I prayed for my man and God answered my prayers. And my American man has been instrument to fulfill those.

Not all connecting with American is because of POVERTY. It is so sad some has negative point of view about it because they must have been BITTER and MISERABLE all their life so they want other people to feel the same way. They need sympathy, that's why all the words comes out from their mouth is all negativity in their life. All I can say bless their hearts, I hope and pray the Lord will heal them and give them what they deserve.....they deserve to be happy too.... they deserve someday they will share their stories that they also found their so called "MY TRUE LOVE".

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

Nice post, Dahlia. I was in AC one time with some friends who were there for the "entertainment", and took me along to introduce me to the "fun". I wasn't really there for the same reasons they were, but after spending a coupla days in Balibago, I met a nice girl one night and paid her bar fine. Took her out to dinner, talked for a while while walking around, she was showing me the area. Went to a few bars that were owned by her "organization". Bought a few "mama's" a drink. Then sent her home to her son with a promise to return the next day at 10. She was waiting in the lobby of my hotel, and as promised, took me to the REAL Angeles. We rode a jeepney and trike, walked around, ate, and she just talked all say, introducing me to the culture. Finally, it was time for her to go back to work, so we went back. That night, I went out to a few of the bars she had taken me to the night before, and I was treated like a superstar. It was hard for me to buy anyone a drink, because it seemed every mamasan wanted to sit and talk to me and buy ME a drink. Finally, I asked one lady why she was being so nice to me, and she said that I had "treated one of her girls like a lady", and I was in their good graces.

Yeah, no need to judge. Until you have lived your entire life in poverty, feeling luck to get rice to eat 4 days out of 7, rarely having enough coins in your pocket to jingle as you walked down the street.... don't judge. It's the "world's oldest profession" for a reason, and it surely didn't start in the PI. I made it a point that every time I went there after the first trip, I would meet a girl, pay her fine, and treat her nicely, no sex. Everyone of them asked me why I didn't find them attractive or why I didn't want them. (OMG, they were so attractive, they had NO idea) But I told them that they were more than just sex objects to me, and that they needed to learn that they didn't have to do what they did. Yeah, it was the best way to earn money, and in their situation, I prolly would have done the same thing. But I wanted to impart upon them that they didn't HAVE to live like that, that they deserved better, and just had to hold out for the right guy...

Did it make a difference? Probably not to many. But to one... one of the girls I met way back when is now in Australia, married, and seems to be happy. And is still a friend of mine, and tells me she appreciates the way I treated her. Not saying I "saved" her, but I like to think I made a difference by treating her like a lady. At least she's not still stick in a dead-end world, giving her body and her soul to make a few bucks.

Yeah, I don't judge. They are ALL real people and most of them are scared shitless. Imagine going to a hotel with a prefect stranger, expected to do whatever he asks, and many times things that most humans aren't asked to do... All for $12 (or less). *sigh*

So faced with the option of marrying a foreigner that MIGHT be her soulmate and take care of her vs. living the life of a GRO or less... is it any wonder they are eternally thankful when someone takes care of them?

Sorry, I waxed soft there for a minute...

[The Conqueror 47]

Nice post, Dahlia. I was in AC one time with some friends who were there for the "entertainment", and took me along to introduce me to the "fun". I wasn't really there for the same reasons they were, but after spending a coupla days in Balibago, I met a nice girl one night and paid her bar fine. Took her out to dinner, talked for a while while walking around, she was showing me the area. Went to a few bars that were owned by her "organization". Bought a few "mama's" a drink. Then sent her home to her son with a promise to return the next day at 10. She was waiting in the lobby of my hotel, and as promised, took me to the REAL Angeles. We rode a jeepney and trike, walked around, ate, and she just talked all say, introducing me to the culture. Finally, it was time for her to go back to work, so we went back. That night, I went out to a few of the bars she had taken me to the night before, and I was treated like a superstar. It was hard for me to buy anyone a drink, because it seemed every mamasan wanted to sit and talk to me and buy ME a drink. Finally, I asked one lady why she was being so nice to me, and she said that I had "treated one of her girls like a lady", and I was in their good graces.

Yeah, no need to judge. Until you have lived your entire life in poverty, feeling luck to get rice to eat 4 days out of 7, rarely having enough coins in your pocket to jingle as you walked down the street.... don't judge. It's the "world's oldest profession" for a reason, and it surely didn't start in the PI. I made it a point that every time I went there after the first trip, I would meet a girl, pay her fine, and treat her nicely, no sex. Everyone of them asked me why I didn't find them attractive or why I didn't want them. (OMG, they were so attractive, they had NO idea) But I told them that they were more than just sex objects to me, and that they needed to learn that they didn't have to do what they did. Yeah, it was the best way to earn money, and in their situation, I prolly would have done the same thing. But I wanted to impart upon them that they didn't HAVE to live like that, that they deserved better, and just had to hold out for the right guy...

Did it make a difference? Probably not to many. But to one... one of the girls I met way back when is now in Australia, married, and seems to be happy. And is still a friend of mine, and tells me she appreciates the way I treated her. Not saying I "saved" her, but I like to think I made a difference by treating her like a lady. At least she's not still stick in a dead-end world, giving her body and her soul to make a few bucks.

Yeah, I don't judge. They are ALL real people and most of them are scared shitless. Imagine going to a hotel with a prefect stranger, expected to do whatever he asks, and many times things that most humans aren't asked to do... All for $12 (or less). *sigh*

So faced with the option of marrying a foreigner that MIGHT be her soulmate and take care of her vs. living the life of a GRO or less... is it any wonder they are eternally thankful when someone takes care of them?

Sorry, I waxed soft there for a minute...

Oh we all do have soft side =). I really feel bad about Filipinos who think less of themselves. Success in life is not a matter of getting instantly, it needs to be earned.

And for most of the people who judge a person or community without being there personally is not fair. Well we cannot please everyone isn't? The very most important is knowing ourselves more than anyone else. Fear the Lord and have a genuine faith in Him..... He will surely protect us and bless us.... I believed the Lord protected me and guided me all along. I'm blessed I never done drugs, gone out with gangs or got pregnant. And now my Fiance has a big heart with wondeful family. What can I ask for? God is good all the time.

Cheers,

Dahlia

[cjmc 10]

Great Read Dave !!!...compassion and respect for human life is hard to come by these days....thanks for contributing to that !!!! :-)

cjmc

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

Thanks, cj. Everyone deserves to be understood.

[actob99 156]

Just some thought about city so called "Angeles". People tend to generalize when they hear the city name. To look back a little further

why such impression was different when they here about A.C. It is very well know as you mentioned entertainment district....there's no difference in Olongapo too. Basically when American were based in Angeles City and Olongapo thats how things started.

When I was young I am a little embarassed passing through Balibago, Angeles City. Seeing those ladies wearing almost nothing and making their way to make money to support their family. I was thinking there's a lot of ways to earn

money, why it has to be that way? As I get older and matured, I began to realize it is because of POVERTY. Working there is a way to earn easy money. I am no one to judge who they are or how they work. The impression when you tell people that "I'm from Angeles

City". The first thing comes into their mind is "Oh Uh Angeles City huh? where there a lot of .... ladies.who do.... that and this?". I don't blame them. I myself became a victim. When I worked just up norht of Angeles, the province of Tarlac, no one wants to be friend with me

because of image of Balibago. They think all Filipina grew up in Angeles City has all the same nature of work. To think of it I worked only 30mins. away but the impression is way way different.

I worked as early as the of 17 years old factory worker, counter crew at McDonalds and Dominos Pizza and call center agent, to fulfill my dream to finish my college. I worked and went to school. I did not blame my parents because

they were not fit to support us. But all of us 6 siblings made our way up because we worked hard. I lived abroad had a decent job. I reach my fulfillment as a career woman. And now after 20 years, I am about to marry an American not because of poverty. No one would

ever understand me or anyone else who can say "I met my TRUE LOVE". If they never experience or felt that. Well we or I is not in the position of letting them understand it. People like us are all BLESSED to find our True Love. And I hope and pray for those who haven't see

or feel that yet. I prayed for my man and God answered my prayers. And my American man has been instrument to fulfill those.

Not all connecting with American is because of

POVERTY. It is so sad some has negative point of view about it because they must have been BITTER and MISERABLE all their life so they want other people to feel the same way. They need sympathy, that's why all the words comes out from their mouth is all negativity in their life. All I can say bless their hearts, I hope and pray

the Lord will heal them and give them what they deserve.....they deserve to be happy too.... they deserve someday they will share their stories that they also found their so called "MY TRUE LOVE".

Very well said....

[actob99 156]

Dave- you are a superstar. Great post, definitely some similarities there.

[actob99 156]

The topic appears to be getting off topic based on one persons opinion of one city, bad!!!!

The word american and foreigner being thrown around like this is the reason AC is there.. Just to set the record straight, there are bars scattered all over the Phils and all over the world.. The days when I was single hanging out with friends in the provinces, they had to show me their bars and have drinks. Most times, they have rarely or never seen a forigner. These are local couples taking me out there.. Then when I wasn't interested in company, they thought something was wrong.

It's called respect and I respected their company and invite and that is all I needed. It's Different cultures and different views soon as you get on that plane and leave the States to anywhere...

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

(For those that know me - I haven't been active on VJ = I just got... bored... & busy with work)

I did a little looking around today...various threads...& as expected = I see a lot of new faces. (but) The questions and topics of discussion are still pretty much the same.

I met my wife - http://www.visajourney.com/forums/user/62615-happyndinlove/ online in 2007, married in 2008 & happy to say we are approaching our 5th wedding anniversary. Five years of bliss.

I fell for my wife bcoz who she is...not bcoz she's Filipina. My wife is not a stereotype. I admit.. I had preconceived ideas (when we met) and have been guilty of stereotyping based on nationality (even demonstrated it via VJ posts during our newbie status). My wife methodically destroyed those naïve notions and replaced my flawed thinking with an understanding = not all birds of a feather flock together. Not all fish swim in the same school. (and) Over the years I have also come to realize - (a fellow VJ I call) "Buscador" was right in many ways = the odds change based on the approach.

Let me explain it like this;

I used to do a lot of Striper fishing. The lake I fished is known for their Stripers. Every day an armada of spooners search for that big catch. I think spoon fishing is boring and not really a sport. I chose to surface fish with lures early mornings (as they fed) for the "lightning round" and cast shallow banks until lunch. The majority of the time I released Stripers but every now & again...I landed a Small or Large Mouth Bass. I never knew a spooner to bring in anything other than the Striper.

What's the point? = The approach makes all the difference for what ends up in the net = The "effects" forum proves that daily. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder so ..each their own but...for me...I did not "fish" AC (or any of the others) Coz that wasn't the fish I wanted to catch.

Edited August 15, 2013 by Crashed~N2~Me

[Hank_ 9,173]

Hey Crashed, nice to see you pop in. Yup you were very active for a time there as I remember.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

Hey Crashed, nice to see you pop in. Yup you were very active for a time there as I remember.

Thanks Hank.

Well...perhaps I will get back in the VJ groove again. I kinda miss seeing how far I can push the envelope b4 my favorite mods make things "boring" for me again. (but) Although I dodged the LTSS many times...I doubt I will have much leeway anymore..I won't be quite as ...spicy...going forward. Time will tell. & We finally got things in order (property purchases / etc.) So we pulled the trigger on citizenship...Soon to start the process of bringing family over... Asawa Ko will show up now and then too.

I notice you have become quite the advice giver. Admirable trait = Giving for no other reason but to be helpful.

"don't do do when do will do". (Did I get that right?) I can't tease you for being a newbie anymore . You earned your stripes for sure.

Anyway - Thanks for saying hello.

Edited August 15, 2013 by Crashed~N2~Me

[MuDelphi 159]

Why does this thread pop up every 6 months in this forum? (or the MENA one for that matter)

[Hank_ 9,173]

Thanks Hank.

Well...perhaps I will get back in the VJ groove again. I kinda miss seeing how far I can push the envelope b4 my favorite mods make things "boring" for me again. (but) Although I dodged the LTSS many times...I doubt I will have much leeway anymore..I won't be quite as ...spicy...going forward. Time will tell. & We finally got things in order (property purchases / etc.) So we pulled the trigger on citizenship...Soon to start the process of bringing family over... Asawa Ko will show up now and then too.

I notice you have become quite the advice giver. Admirable trait = Giving for no other reason but to be helpful.

"don't do do when do will do". (Did I get that right?) I can't tease you for being a newbie anymore . You earned your stripes for sure.

Anyway - Thanks for saying hello.

I remember well your spicy posts and the mods coming to visit....

Never DO-DO when DO will DO

Edited August 15, 2013 by Hank_

[actob99 156]

Nice to see you posting Crashed.. First we lost you, then Daren.. Been kind of boring, except the occasional troll or miss goody goody from another country.