After citizenship husband leaves me and 2 kids behind.

[BarbSami 32]

And after 10 years of marriage HE deserves spousal support as well!!

She cannot work? This is supposed to be the era of equal rights AND responsibilities. If they own a store together then the income has been joint. Custody should be joint as well if he wants that and they should each contribute equally in time and financial support to the children's needs. In other words, no money should be paid by either. (Now if he wants to shirk his parental responsibilities as to parenting time, etc, then you may be right about what a judge should do.)

where do you suppose he got the money for the business? when he came in on a K-1 he had 200. and If he wanted equal responsibilities he would not have left them. In the state i live in if you abandon children sole custody is granted to the other parent. I was his sponsor so I would of had to be emoloyed.

[james&olya 1,121]

where do you suppose he got the money for the business? when he came in on a K-1 he had 200. and If he wanted equal responsibilities he would not have left them. In the state i live in if you abandon children sole custody is granted to the other parent. I was his sponsor so I would of had to be emoloyed.

And I agree with you 100% if he is trying to abandon them this way. I do believe you may have been confused a bit on what gets divided 50/50. Existing marital assets such as houses, cars, furniture, stocks, bonds, and cash in the bank get divided this way in most states. It can get complicated when an ongoing business is a marital asset. If he is leaving who will be running this business? If you are staying on to run it maybe you should buy out his interest and take it all. Otherwise it probably will need to be sold and the proceeds divided. Child support and possible spousal support will be based on what income earning potential each of you has after the divorce. You definitely need a decent lawyer as well as a good accountant!

[BarbSami 32]

And I agree with you 100% if he is trying to abandon them this way. I do believe you may have been confused a bit on what gets divided 50/50. Existing marital assets such as houses, cars, furniture, stocks, bonds, and cash in the bank get divided this way in most states. It can get complicated when an ongoing business is a marital asset. If he is leaving who will be running this business? If you are staying on to run it maybe you should buy out his interest and take it all. Otherwise it probably will need to be sold and the proceeds divided. Child support and possible spousal support will be based on what income earning potential each of you has after the divorce. You definitely need a decent lawyer as well as a good accountant!

The business is ran by employee and there is an accountant. It does not have to be sold I can request a flat amount from the business monthly. I have consulted with a divorce attorney. I am not confused. If you bought 200. to the marriage nothing confusing about that. my assets are the one that was secured to sponsor him, If you walk out thats not trying thats abandoning them. Tax doc will make it less complicated plus inventory can be taken and a projection of sales can be done.

Edited May 6, 2013 by BarbSami

[james&olya 1,121]

I am not confused. If you bought 200. to the marriage nothing confusing about that. my assets are the one that was secured to sponsor him, Tax doc will make it less complicated plus inventory can be taken and a projection of sales can be done.

In most states it matters little who invested what in the development of a business during a marriage unless the initial cash investment was clearly separate property and remains a significant portion of the current cash value of the business. He can argue that it was his hard work or smart decision making that was the key to its success. The judge will declare it a marital asset and subject to a 50/50 split. If he walked away leaving you to run this business alone you may be able to argue you deserve more than 50% of its worth at the time divorce will be final.

If he has walked away from his own children than I don't feel even a little bit sorry for him and I wish you and your attorneys well in taking him to the cleaners! What kind of stupid excuse for a husband can do this? And if he wants to justify his actions by invoking his familiy's (mother's) wishes I cannot even find words adequate to express my disgust with his version of 'family values' when he is so callous to his own children!!!

[Jawaree 717]

Always remind my kids "do not get involved with those marrying

up when they get to that age, sometimes cultural differences &

backgrounds comes with extra baggages. Lady you will be fine,

right now I know it hurts, but one day you will look back and

wonder, also a good real man will come along , get a female atty

and pull his NUTS out, then his mama can sew it up, eventually

the kids have to be told, never bad-mouth him in their presence

Take it to court let that weiner get in front of a judge...Hey

god bless & keep you and the kids.

[BarbSami 32]

In most states it matters little who invested what in the development of a business during a marriage unless the initial cash investment was clearly separate property and remains a significant portion of the current cash value of the business. He can argue that it was his hard work or smart decision making that was the key to its success. The judge will declare it a marital asset and subject to a 50/50 split. If he walked away leaving you to run this business alone you may be able to argue you deserve more than 50% of its worth at the time divorce will be final.

If he has walked away from his own children than I don't feel even a little bit sorry for him and I wish you and your attorneys well in taking him to the cleaners! What kind of stupid excuse for a husband can do this? And if he wants to justify his actions by invoking his familiy's (mother's) wishes I cannot even find words adequate to express my disgust with his version of 'family values' when he is so callous to his own children!!!

As the attorney stated to me in an at fault divorce. If one party is found to be at fault of the breakdown of the marriage. The judge can decide the one he feels did not contribute will be the one that could end up with more. If a person walks away from a marriage, leave the home they shared. Alabama is an equitable state, it doe not mean 50/50 the judge could decide 60/40. 70/30 or he could decide to give it all to me and the children.

Keep in mind we are talking about a husband that walked away not just from me, but our children. Aslo, a friend showed up to tell me that my husband wanted a divorce and that the mom wanted him to marry someone from home. He got an attorney to draft divorce papers with an attatched agreement offering me 1500. monthly. He did not try to reconcile or even if there was a problem correct it, because there was not any problem. That is why he could not offer any explanation to me when I asked "What happened".

There isnt a judge dumb enough to not know what is really going on. He basically has almost won my case for me. Equitable does not mean 50/50 not in Alabama.

Edited May 6, 2013 by BarbSami

[BarbSami 32]

You are absolutely right, the excuse that his mother is involved is hog-wash. It was his choice, maybe that's something they like to use as an excuse that their mother told them too. LOL, its not like they are 5yrs old, or are they?

I wont even insult a 5 years old , my son is 6 and at this young age he try to becareful of other people feeling. He is not old enough to even understand much about how life goes. I always try to instill to treat how you would want to be treated.

[BarbSami 32]

Always remind my kids "do not get involved with those marrying

up when they get to that age, sometimes cultural differences &

backgrounds comes with extra baggages. Lady you will be fine,

right now I know it hurts, but one day you will look back and

wonder, also a good real man will come along , get a female atty

and pull his NUTS out, then his mama can sew it up, eventually

the kids have to be told, never bad-mouth him in their presence

Take it to court let that weiner get in front of a judge...Hey

god bless & keep you and the kids

Never in my life have I had hate, anger or bitterness in my heart. These are cancers they can only destroy me. I would never talk my children against thier father no matter what he does or have done. I have to be cautious with them because the way that he has handle things so far, what if he would try to flee with my children to overseas, that I wont allow.

I do not know who would suggest 1500. when there is a mortgage of 950. due to the bank monthly and the neighborhood we live it is also 180. yearly fee to take care of the common grounds. We havent talked about ins for the children, childcare, groceries, ins on the home and furnishing, car ins etc.

This is difficult a man I love, had babies with, my bestfriend, now I have to take him before a judge just to get what should of have been freely given to us by him without him being made to do it, so sad......................... Barbara, Thanks and God Bless

[Mariana2012 89]

And after 10 years of marriage HE deserves spousal support as well!!

She cannot work? This is supposed to be the era of equal rights AND responsibilities. If they own a store together then the income has been joint. Custody should be joint as well if he wants that and they should each contribute equally in time and financial support to the children's needs. In other words, no money should be paid by either. (Now if he wants to shirk his parental responsibilities as to parenting time, etc, then you may be right about what a judge should do.)

Of course it is an era of equal rights, allegedly, so the one making more money can be asked for spousal suport. Look at the famous case of britney spears - working mom , kevin federline - stay at home dad. He got custody of the kids and spousal support because SHE was the big earner. So the man got paid.

I am not suggesting men should support women. I suggest she takes advantage of the US privilege that protects a spouse by extending the resposability of the ex past the divorce.

[Mariana2012 89]

where do you suppose he got the money for the business? when he came in on a K-1 he had 200. and If he wanted equal responsibilities he would not have left them. In the state i live in if you abandon children sole custody is granted to the other parent. I was his sponsor so I would of had to be emoloyed.

Even if you did not give him the money,because you were a supporting wife, creating a healthy environment at home for him and the kids you deserve half. You took care of him all this years ans created a legacy for him for his future by giving him kids. He can't minimize your role because it is equally important.

[Peter_Pan 661]

Personally, I think alimony is, most of the time, grotesque. It started as something fair ("Divorce law in the U.S. was based on English Common Law, which developed at a time when a female gave up her personal property rights on marriage (see Coverture). Upon separation from marriage, the husband retained the right to the wife's property, but, in exchange, had an ongoing responsibility to support the wife after dissolution of the marriage"), and evolved into a sense of entitlement.

Even if you did not give him the money,because you were a supporting wife, creating a healthy environment at home for him and the kids you deserve half. You took care of him all this years ans created a legacy for him for his future by giving him kids. He can't minimize your role because it is equally important.

Or, because he is financially stable, he could get custody of the kids, and she has to pay him child support.

[Mariana2012 89]

I have friend who was very succesful and educated, did her masters in the US and came back to Romania and started a promising career. Then she married this guy who was succesful financially but less educated and he felt threatened by her position and success and he insisted she quits her career and becomes a stay at home mom. Fast forward 10 years, he wants a divorce and wants to keep the business money because " he made it". He didn't let her get involved in his business and he didn't let her continue her own career and like him there are many people. When a woman accepts that situation she does it because she thinks that man will be there for life. She is " insured" by the marriage certificate. When something happens ( divorce or death) the " insurance" should pay right ???

Edited May 6, 2013 by Mariana2012

[Mariana2012 89]

Peter_pan luckily the court recognizes that it is not in the interest of the child to be with the most financially stable parent, but with the one that is involved the most. And if the one most involves cannot afford it, then the one with the money has to step in.

Alimony is a necessary evil, it is not fair sometimes but it often protects the weak. Its existance gives women in bad situation a chance to protect themselves and their children.

Coming from a poor country I saw a lot of abuse on women and children from men who say " I bring the money so I make th rules" so kids and women live in terror at the hands of abusers.

Edited May 6, 2013 by Mariana2012

[Peter_Pan 661]

Not really. I think that when you take bad decisions, you should expect to get burned. Not having a career because a man said so doesnt entitle you to a lifetime of paychecks for doing nothing. Honestly, I think alimony is degrading to women, it basically says we are incapable of managing life all by ourselves. Since like you said, we are Romanian, I will tell you a Romanian-American story about my neighbour's daughter who won the lottery visa and came to the US and washed floors and put herself through nursing school, then met a guy and got married. 10 years later, they are divorce, and she makes enough money to support herself, her kids, and her parents whom she petitioned. The ex doesnt pay child support regularly, and that is a problem, but other than that, hats off to her.

No human, man or woman, should be incapable of supporting him/herself and should never ever build their lives around someone else's career.

Edited May 6, 2013 by Peter_Pan

[Mariana2012 89]

Either way Peter_Pan, the situation exists quite often. Some men expect women to " obbey" while they are married but when things go south, some of them don't want to have any responsability once they get tired of the wife and feel entitled because they were " the bread winners" .

But as you said, some work and support themselves, and some don't but women often compromize their careers more than man do when it comes to marriage.

Edited May 6, 2013 by Mariana2012