Love online

[jenoral 3]

Hi guys (and gals ),

I`ll make this as brief as possible as most of you will know what I`m posting about.

I met my present girlfriend online about 3 years ago. I`m in Ireland and shes in the USA. I`m 52 and single with no kids, shes 50 with two kids one is 26 and one is 13 and is obviously still in school.

I visited her for two weeks in June 2012 and went back again from November to February ( just within the 90 days because of a plane delay ). I never knew before I went in June that in fact I was not allowed to visit her on the visa waiver programme (90 days). All the people I have told this to both in the USA and in Ireland just cant believe that I`m not allowed to legally visit my girlfriend! It`s bizarre, how can you form a relationship with someone if you are not allowed to be with them? Or is it the case that an American citizen is not permitted to have a foreign boy/girlfriend?

Anyway our problem is now that we have to get married to be together, which we we`re going to do anyway but it puts a lot of pressure on us because we have only been together for a total of about 14 weeks.

So my question is this, is there any way we can legally be together...even for short periods of time...before we get married?

Thanks in advance,

Jenoral.

[*Snowdrop* 604]

Hi guys (and gals ),

I`ll make this as brief as possible as most of you will know what I`m posting about.

I met my present girlfriend online about 3 years ago. I`m in Ireland and shes in the USA. I`m 52 and single with no kids, shes 50 with two kids one is 26 and one is 13 and is obviously still in school.

I visited her for two weeks in June 2012 and went back again from November to February ( just within the 90 days because of a plane delay ). I never knew before I went in June that in fact I was not allowed to visit her on the visa waiver programme (90 days). All the people I have told this to both in the USA and in Ireland just cant believe that I`m not allowed to legally visit my girlfriend! It`s bizarre, how can you form a relationship with someone if you are not allowed to be with them? Or is it the case that an American citizen is not permitted to have a foreign boy/girlfriend?

Anyway our problem is now that we have to get married to be together, which we we`re going to do anyway but it puts a lot of pressure on us because we have only been together for a total of about 14 weeks.

So my question is this, is there any way we can legally be together...even for short periods of time...before we get married?

Thanks in advance,

Jenoral.

Why are you not allowed to use the VWP to visit her? Isn't that exactly what you used to visit her on your last two visits? Or are you saying you stayed over the 90 days on your last visit?

[jenoral 3]

Why are you not allowed to use the VWP to visit her? Isn't that exactly what you used to visit her on your last two visits? Or are you saying you stayed over the 90 days on your last visit?

Thanks for replying Lynne,

As far as I know I can only use the VWP to visit for tourist activity and if the immigration people at the airport think I`m going to visit a girlfriend I will be refused entry and wont be allowed to use the VWP again as I will be deemed to have abused it. As far as I know there is no legal way to visit her .

[Fight for Love 98]

i guess your only hope is to file for K1 or either get married to your home country, then file for CR-1.

but to be honest. some people take advantage of the system...some do visit their fiance here in the US then get married and right then they file cr-1 without leaving the US. other say it's illegal to do so. but it still happening without getting introuble lol

anyhow just to the legit way file for K1. goodluck!!!

[Darnell 8,478]

how strange.

[*Snowdrop* 604]

Thanks for replying Lynne,

As far as I know I can only use the VWP to visit for tourist activity and if the immigration people at the airport think I`m going to visit a girlfriend I will be refused entry and wont be allowed to use the VWP again as I will be deemed to have abused it. As far as I know there is no legal way to visit her .

Visiting friends and family for short trips is considered tourist activity.

I dated my husband for three years long distance - he was in US, I was in the UK. I visited him every other month for a week and he did the same coming to the UK.

I always told the border official I was visiting my boyfriend, and then after we were engaged I told him I was visiting my fiance. And then after filing for the spousal visa it took so long that I visited him about four times and said I was visiting my husband. So about 19 trouble free visits.

The only issue you can face is how much time you are spending in the country - you have to spend more time out of the US than in otherwise it looks as though you are living there. And you face the slight worry that they may think you are trying to immigrate and not let you in.

To deal with that last issue it's usually advised to bring a packet of evidence to show you intend to return to your home country at the end of your trip - letter from your boss, lease agreement, return ticket etc. After we got married I always brought this stuff just in case but I was never asked for it (others have been though)

[Anna Grant 169]

Please see this thread here:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/67796-yes-you-can-visit/

It should put your mind at ease and indicate what you should consider bringing with you on a visit. I have made 5 visits to the US within the last year - the shortest was 6 days and the longest 90 days.

[UK-USA-K1 128]

Thanks for replying Lynne,

As far as I know I can only use the VWP to visit for tourist activity and if the immigration people at the airport think I`m going to visit a girlfriend I will be refused entry and wont be allowed to use the VWP again as I will be deemed to have abused it. As far as I know there is no legal way to visit her .

This is just 100% untrue. Of course it does bring more scrutiny. They will want to know that you have no intention of immigrating before they let you into the country. Having a significant other is a reason they look at closer, to be sure you plan to leave again. Visiting your significant other on the VWP is VERY commonplace. My fiancee has been here 5 times in a 2 year period, all on the VWP from the UK.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Tourism includes visiting a girlfriend.....

[jenoral 3]

This is just 100% untrue. Of course it does bring more scrutiny. They will want to know that you have no intention of immigrating before they let you into the country. Having a significant other is a reason they look at closer, to be sure you plan to leave again. Visiting your significant other on the VWP is VERY commonplace. My fiancee has been here 5 times in a 2 year period, all on the VWP from the UK.

Thanks a million for all the replies. So it looks like everything I have been told or read etc is untrue? wow!...actually her mom just died last week and I was afraid to try to travel over in case it aroused suspicion. As far as I was aware if I try to go back now I would be questioned as to my intentions and I thought that if I said it was to visit my girlfriend I would be refused travel and sent away? I was told...for 3 years now...the same story, until today!

So you think I can just go to the airport and show my return ticket and tell the truth and I will be allowed to travel? Everything I`ve been told up to this said that it`s up to the immigration official on the day and if they even suspect I`m traveling to see a girlfriend I would be refused.

I sincerely hope you are right and if so I`m booking my ticket tomorrow..

If someone else could verify this please do as I miss her so much and would love to spend time with her again soon.

Thank you all.

Jenoral.

[jenoral 3]

Tourism includes visiting a girlfriend.....

Thanks for your reply, I was led to believe I could not use the VWP for visiting a girlfriend, I hope you are right.

It should put your mind at ease and indicate what you should consider bringing with you on a visit. I have made 5 visits to the US within the last year - the shortest was 6 days and the longest 90 days.

Thank you Anna, I`m reading it now.

[jenoral 3]

Here`s a quote from that link Anna..........

I'm sure all the vets on this board are tired of this daily question, but keep in mind that dozens of people are just starting this process every day, and the can I visit while the application is pending?" question is one, if not the, most pressing matters to most of them.

Information about this is all over this site, but scattered. I for one am a person who likes to hear personal experiences too, so I can make a decision based on what others in my similar situation have gone through.

The answer is yes, visits are allowed. But whether you will actually be admitted lies entirely in the hands of the officer questioning you upon entry. And face it, hearing you've got a sweetheart you're intending to/have married waiting for you in the US is going to set off a he/she is just going to stay here forever bell to that officer. It's your job to convince that officer that you have a life back in your home country that you fully intend, and will, go back to."

So you can see my problem?...one person says "oh yeah, just tell them you`re visiting your girlfriend and all will be fine"..others say I`m going to be questioned and probably turned away....this gets worse the more I read!.Why is there not somewhere I can go to to find out how I can visit her legally because everyone seems to just have(differing)opinions and no hard facts?...

[Shiobhan 235]

She can fax you her moms death notice or email and you attend the funeral, just always travel with evidences of returning home, lease. job letter,

car parked long term at your airport,current utility bill etc. ..yes you can visit, get marry & go home to wait on CR1

[Penguin_ie 5,994]

You are miss-reading the quote. Anyone can be turned away by a border officer at anytime if they suspect you have immigrant intent. Whether you are visiting a girlfriend, going for a business meeting or touring Disneyland. Since you are from a VWP country, you most likely will be waived through, but it is never a bad idea to have some proof that you intend to return home with you, such as lease to your flat, letter from job when you are expected back etc.

For what it's worth, when my now husband was my boyfriend (and later fiance), I visited often, and always said that was the reason for visiting. I only got pulled into secondary (ie questioned) once, and always let in.

[jenoral 3]

She can fax you her moms death notice or email and you attend the funeral, just always travel with evidences of returning home, lease. job letter,

car parked long term at your airport,current utility bill etc. ..yes you can visit, get marry & go home to wait on CR1

Thanks Jihana,

The funeral is over now, I am retired and have been self employed since I was 21, I sold my business in 2007 so to the immigration official it looks like I have no permanent ties at home.....which is true.