HOW TO PREPARE YOUR FIANCE FOR LIFE IN THE STATES?

[Corina A. 2]

what are some ways i can prepare my fiance for life in the U.S.? He doesn't speak English, he has family in the country but not close to us...any suggestions?

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

what are some ways i can prepare my fiance for life in the U.S.? He doesn't speak English, he has family in the country but not close to us...any suggestions?

He can start taking English classes now. You can also seek out and arrange for English classes here. He should begin them immediately when he arrives and for at LEAST 4 days per week. Do NOT ignore this. In order for him to have a satisfying life in the USA he will need to have a very good level of English. Being bi-lingual is wonderful...with emphasis on BI-lingual

That is the best you can do for him now if he does not speak English, that comes first. Get him involved with other ENGLISH speaking activities he likes, sports, etc. Keep him with native English speakers as much as possible. Sorry, but he needs to avoid his native language as much as possible until he is fluent in English. All movies, books, newspapers and internet sites should be ENGLISH ONLY. Speaking at home ENGLISH ONLY. Say it and show him as many times as you have to...in English. I did this with our youngest son who spoke very little English when came (age 13 at that time) I did homework with him, chores with him and repeated what we were doing in ENGLISH over and over and over, every day. He would get frustrated and say, in Russian, "Say it in Russian" NYET! No! And I would repeat it in English and go through the motions. We also got him on the school basketball team, I think that was even better for him.

The level of frustration he had showed up when he recently wrote his own college entrance essays, in English of course, and spoke of how frustrated he was, how "mean" we were not allowing him to speak his own language...but now realizes how important it was. Now he feels he has "made lemonade from the lemons"

He now speaks excellent English, with virtually NO accent and perfect Russian. Now we want to maintain his Russian so about 80% of home conversation is Russian, he gets plenty of English at school, sports and work, NOW we want to preserve his Russian

DO NOT let him fall into the easy way out of seeking Spanish speaking friends, jobs, etc. Later he can do that.

I promise this will not be easy for him or you...if you love him and want the best for him in this country (and anywhere actually) you will do it.

Edited March 9, 2013 by Gary and Alla

[TBoneTX 43,067]

Gary is 100% accurate with his advice. Follow it to the letter for maximal adjustment and happiness.

[TBoneTX 43,067]

*** Thread moved from Effects of Major Changes forum to Moving Here & Your New Life forum, as a more appropriate destination for this topic. ***

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

He can start taking English classes now. You can also seek out and arrange for English classes here. He should begin them immediately when he arrives and for at LEAST 4 days per week. Do NOT ignore this. In order for him to have a satisfying life in the USA he will need to have a very good level of English. Being bi-lingual is wonderful...with emphasis on BI-lingual

That is the best you can do for him now if he does not speak English, that comes first. Get him involved with other ENGLISH speaking activities he likes, sports, etc. Keep him with native English speakers as much as possible. Sorry, but he needs to avoid his native language as much as possible until he is fluent in English. All movies, books, newspapers and internet sites should be ENGLISH ONLY. Speaking at home ENGLISH ONLY. Say it and show him as many times as you have to...in English. I did this with our youngest son who spoke very little English when came (age 13 at that time) I did homework with him, chores with him and repeated what we were doing in ENGLISH over and over and over, every day. He would get frustrated and say, in Russian, "Say it in Russian" NYET! No! And I would repeat it in English and go through the motions. We also got him on the school basketball team, I think that was even better for him.

The level of frustration he had showed up when he recently wrote his own college entrance essays, in English of course, and spoke of how frustrated he was, how "mean" we were not allowing him to speak his own language...but now realizes how important it was. Now he feels he has "made lemonade from the lemons"

He now speaks excellent English, with virtually NO accent and perfect Russian. Now we want to maintain his Russian so about 80% of home conversation is Russian, he gets plenty of English at school, sports and work, NOW we want to preserve his Russian

DO NOT let him fall into the easy way out of seeking Spanish speaking friends, jobs, etc. Later he can do that.

I promise this will not be easy for him or you...if you love him and want the best for him in this country (and anywhere actually) you will do it.

Excellent points.

My Wife is in the same predicament. She has enrolled in adult school in Nigeria to brush up on her English. We personally feel that using an interpreter during our failed interview, in an already deranged embassy was part of our denial.

[Redflame2012 32]

what are some ways i can prepare my fiance for life in the U.S.? He doesn't speak English, he has family in the country but not close to us...any suggestions?

I agree with some of the comments. However I feel he does need to speak his own language with his country men. It will help to reduce his feeling of isolation and homesickness.

When I came to America, having contact with people from my homeland would have helped me so much but that didn't happen. The lack of that increased my loneliness.

Learning English is important... Joining an English class and speaking English as much as possible is important... However speaking his language is important too. Perhaps you can have 'Spanish' days at home and 'English' days.

Good luck!

Redflame!

[YA 1127 6]

Have him take english classes but as you know in our country DOm republic everyone speaks spanish so unless you practice with him on the phone pr hes hearing it all day he wont get it all the way . My husband has not but what i have been doing is

- explaining to him how things are here

- the difference of being in Dr and being in america

- i tell him of all my bills so he knows that we gotta work to

Be able to pay for the thngs we need everyday

Little things like that so he can understand

[EminTX 131]

This is a very popular topic that is discussed regularly.

Read through other titles on this board and start making a list of stuff you can do. Slog through them as needed--many will be easy and will make all the difference in the little things. Others will require some work on both parts.

Be sure that you agree to be committed to each other, first and foremost.

My husband is not functional in English at all. He can get by with touristy levels, but that is it. He really wants to work, but every place has told him outright that if he wants a job, that comes first. One thing that has actually been helpful for us was blocking every Spanish channel that we have access to on TV. This way, there is no option to hide from English all day every day. (When I am in my husband's country, I really don't have any choice to use English at all so my Spanish has improved noticibly with each visit. This is really hard to do in Houston, though, because everyone is coddled and never has to really put forth any effort if they can get a job. Even when you go to an Indian restaurant, most of the from-India-owners speak decent Spanish so they can have cheap employees. That's pretty messed up.)