What's the deal?!?!?!

[Mandi+Ryan 1]

Can you guys please tell me what the deal is with you watching porn and looking at OTHER women besides the one you're with? I don't get it.

[GaryC 7]

It makes a difference is the guy is watching it alone or with his woman. If it's alone then I can see the problem some women might have. If it's with your woman then just look at it as "suggestions" for the real activity to follow.

[aussiewench 9]

Personally I'm not worried if my husband looks at porn, with or without me in room. He would also not worry if it was me looking at porn with or without him. Hell, you should see my collection it even surprised hubby. I'm also not worried if he happens to look at another women as IMO there is nothing wrong in admiring beauty....I admire it too in both women and men.

[CarolineM 0]

Is this something specific you're worried about? or are you just addressing guys in general? Stewart really doesn't look at porn, but I wouldn't really care if he did as long as it didn't interfere with OUR life....

Men are going to look - they are visually stimulated creatures!

[Lizzy 0]

I dont care if my hubby looks at porn with me. I think it may be a problem if he did it alone, say when i was sleeping.

This is the second question you have asked, everything ok? or just wondering about others feelings on these type of subjects?

Edited November 13, 2006 by Lizzy

[Mags 112]

If my fiance wants to look at porn it is up to him. I REALLY don't feel threatened by it, nor would I feel that way if he looked at another woman as she walked down the street.

As long as the porn doesn't involve underage girls/boys or animals ( ) I really don't care.

If I WAS bothered I think that would be partially indicative of my own personal insecurities....

Edited November 13, 2006 by mags

[luvaLimey 0]

Can you tell me what is wrong with a guy noticing that another woman beside his wife/gf is beautiful? It's a long way from "well, that's an attractive woman." to "I'd like to #### her brains out." (maybe not, I'm not a guy... just going on what I usually think when I see an attractive man... just becuase I think someone is attractive doesn't mean I want to have sex with them)

The idea that you are the one and only woman your husband will ever find attractive or beautiful is, forgive me, naive and unrealistic. As women (generally) we are very competitive with other women. We constantly compare ourselves with other women, wondering how we can compete with someone who is thinner/taller/has more gorgeous lips than we do.

I was very insecure for a while about the fact that my SO thought a couple of celebrities were very very beautiful. I compared myself with them, realised I'd never look like them, and despaired. But then I looked at it another way. I noticed that a few of the celebs he liked had some qualities in common. it wasn't until I looked at a picture of me next to them that I realised the same things he sees in them are what he sees in me.

The fact he finds those other women beautiful isn't competition; it's a compliment. He thinks those women are beautiful. He thinks I'm beautiful.

As for the porn issue: it can affect a relationship, but only if both partners are not on the same page. My ex had a problem with porn, but it was his problem not mine. He hid the fact he looked at porn from me, and so there was this element of mistrust in our relationship. He was also kind of obsessive about it. That wasn't the only problem with our relationship of course... but it was one of the problems.

Compare that with the fact I actually watch porn with my SO sometimes. He doesn't watch it obsessively, and it's just a non-issue with us.

[no name 1]

If my fiance wants to look at porn it is up to him. I REALLY don't feel threatened by it, nor would I feel that way if he looked at another woman as she walked down the street.

As long as the porn doesn't involve underage girls/boys or animals ( ) I really don't care.

If I WAS bothered I think that would be partially indicative of my own personal insecurities....

Porn doesn't bother me!

[dani_christine 0]

it would bother me...a lot. my husband doesn't look at porn at all. ever.

it's a big deal to us because of our religion. we believe that the Bible says that if a man looks at another woman lustfully, it's the same as if he had committed adultery. i'm not talking about seeing a woman who is beautiful and noticing that she looks nice. i'm talking about lusting after another. porn can be very damaging to a relationship. i believe whole heartedly that feelings of sexual arousal should be limited only to your spouse.

[Joey559 1]

If my fiance wants to look at porn it is up to him. I REALLY don't feel threatened by it, nor would I feel that way if he looked at another woman as she walked down the street.

As long as the porn doesn't involve underage girls/boys or animals ( ) I really don't care.

If I WAS bothered I think that would be partially indicative of my own personal insecurities....

Porn doesn't bother me!

Ditto. I'm not really sure what answer you're looking for - it's the age ol' question. Are you telling me you NEVER watch a Hugh Jackman movie and think "whoa" or walk by a guy and smell his cologne and think he smells delicious. Or have a guy smile at you in the street and check you over and even though you're perfectly happy in your relationship and head over heels in love it brightens your day knowing someone appreciates the way you look?

Because it's all the same as looking at porn. It's being stimulated (sometimes not even in a sexual manner) by a sight, smell, touch. It doesn't mean you love your partner any less or that you don't want him. Just like it doesn't mean he doesn't want you if he looks at porn.

Now, if he doesnt look at porn because of a personal conviction (such as a religous belief) that's a personal, understandable reason. But if he is someone who holds no such belief and simply enjoys it in a healthy way then I'd say he's just like the rest of us. Curious. And there's nothing wrong with that.

[MrMrsKnight 1]

Is this something specific you're worried about? or are you just addressing guys in general? Stewart really doesn't look at porn, but I wouldn't really care if he did as long as it didn't interfere with OUR life....

Men are going to look - they are visually stimulated creatures!

Exactly...

I used to hate it when David looked at porn. He was my first boyfriend ever and I had no idea how that worked. We started living together when I was only 18, so I had a lot to learn... and so did he. I noticed that looking at porn didn't make him want me less, if anything it make him want me even more. Like Gary said, it's fun to use it as a way to improve your sex life.

If he chose them over me and it interfered a lot in our life, then we'd have something to work out.

And also, everything feels a lot better when is not allowed.... so I let him be

[rebeccajo 14]

Isn't this topic sort of like religion and politics..........?

[ceriserose 1]

Isn't this topic sort of like religion and politics..........?

The parties tend to be more naked in porn than in politics or religion...

[rebeccajo 14]

Isn't this topic sort of like religion and politics..........?

The parties tend to be more naked in porn than in politics or religion...

How come I realized almost immediately after I hit the 'reply' button that SOMEBODY was gonna think like this................

[Cristy 4]

Here is what I know. Men think about sex and food, if they are not horny you better be making him a sandwich.