What should I do?? :(

[Gosia & Tito 199]

Hello,

Yesterday I had a fight over the phone with my husband (he's currently out of the state for work) because I didn't want to I've him my Facebook password. So I went to sleep, and about half hour ago the police came saying my husband had call them because he was "concerned" I wasn't answering the phone and may hurt our baby (it never crossed my mind) so when police saw everything was ok,and I was just sleeping they left. Then he called me and asked once again for my password which I didn't gave him (why should I?) so he said that he was going to report me as a fraud, and at is return I must sign for divorce or e will call the police saying I'm hurting the baby and taking him away from me and I must return to my country.

I don't want to divorce, I love him and know he's just mad, I came here with a k1 but we didn't get married in the 90 days, we filed the I-130 along with AOS. my son was born here. I he make me go back to my country will I be able to return or my son? Because he doesn't have a passport yet and I'm. Sure as hell he won't let me get a passport for him. I don't work, so I don't have that much on my own. We have been married just 6 months by now

What are my options? I'm desperate right now thinking of what he will do out of rage and without thinking clearly.

To any admin:

By accident I post it twice, please erase one

The spouse is showing a extreme controlling and abusive personality. Only you can tell, but this type of personality does not stop there, that more you give up the more he might want to take, until he owns you completely.

You will have to decide whether that is the case here, as no one here knows all the details and has your direct knowledge.

The interesting twist here is that he seems to think he controls you enough that you would not just pickup and leave, by the time he's back you would be long gone.

I have had discussions and arguments with my wife but not even the thought has cross my mind to black mail her with immigration stuff. That is just off limits.

Sorry to hear your predicament but you need to decide and act fast or abide by what he wants.

For what is worth, and I'll let other chime as I don't have direct experience: if he in fact ends up pushing you out of the house and making unsustainable accusations in respect to baby, that is a form of VAWA. You at least have a police report from the first occurrence. One false alarm could be assumed as just overly conservative and concerned, two or more, would raise suspicions. An accusation of child abuse is a serious matter and it does not stop with just a police visit, Child Protection agencies get involved immediately and they are not easily deceived. I know because I do work with an agency (as a court appointed child advocate) and I handle child abuse cases since 6-7 years ago.

Hope your decision is the best.

[LSnBigBear 61]

I do understand the need for privacy. I went through similar with my ex wife. She wanted my passwords as she herself was un-trusting. I gave her all my passwords. Then was accused of having a separate email account after I gave her my passwords. Soooo I openned a new email and let her know I did. That kinda was what ended the marriage as I got tired of being accused. The Moral of this as advice is she went and visited our Pastor. He told her that Couples give up so much freedom being couples that sometimes it is nice to just have something as simple as our passwords kept as our own. I have never asked any of my GF's or current fiancee for her password or nor will I. I have nothing to hide and trust she has nothing to hide. You should hold off making any quick actions. It does not sound like your husband is abusive just more jeolous. Give him nothing to be jeolous of. I do believe that since he went as far as to call the Police on you that both you and he need counseling to get past this for a healthy marriage.

Good luck to you both.

Shawn AKA Big Bear

[Artisan 138]

I say give him the passwords and remain in the house.

You have 6 weeks to get over the #######.

Absolutely not! Besides being a violation of the terms of service of FB asking for the password to any account that does not belong to you is morally reprehensible behavior and should not be encouraged.

Dana1232, I am sending you a private message with some suggestions. I wish you the best of luck in resolving this issue soon.

[candy35 4]

this is what u do make a fake facebook and give him that password he should not be thearting u he knows what can happend thats y he's doing this whats his problem most of the time when man act like that their the ones doing something they should not be doing

[Godsdaughter 3]

Seems you two have problems.Not just about the password.Didn't get married in 90days showed the problems.But now you are married and have baby.Why he is going to act like that?Once a lover,Always a lover.How can he going to destroy his baby's mother.I guess baby will have hard time forgiving his father.It's not the right thing to do to report you as fraud.Hope you don't have any secrets or didn't show him enough love to make him feel secure.Baby need a complete family to grow up.Talk to him.

[Dana1232 0]

this is what u do make a fake facebook and give him that password he should not be thearting u he knows what can happend thats y he's doing this whats his problem most of the time when man act like that their the ones doing something they should not be doing

I'm not with you on making a fake Facebook, besides he knows my email. To make a fake one I would need another email, and he will notice it don't you think?. I don't want to lie to him (as I'm not doing it right now) just wanted to know why he wanted my password (the whole fight begun with some of his papers I forgot to scan and send to him - and me saying I didn't have the time) but with a newborn who has time?? And I didn't want to give it just because of that...

[Jahwaree 83]

Lady if thats the only problem and U have no secrets give him the password...heck u can create another with your middlename or

so if U feel its an infringement on you, there are to be no secrets betwwen spouses, but I also believe in giving a person space,

if his threats are true then maybe dude aint wrapped too tight. You have some ways to go to LPR ,you love him mention counselling, U both

should go and sort out trust issues etc...

[Dana1232 0]

Seems you two have problems.Not just about the password.Didn't get married in 90days showed the problems.But now you are married and have baby.Why he is going to act like that?Once a lover,Always a lover.How can he going to destroy his baby's mother.I guess baby will have hard time forgiving his father.It's not the right thing to do to report you as fraud.Hope you don't have any secrets or didn't show him enough love to make him feel secure.Baby need a complete family to grow up.Talk to him.

We're together for almost 6 years by now and two boys in the path, this is not a new relationship. He was having a hard time at work at that moment filing an EEO complaint to his boss, and changing job in-between the government -he's a federal officer- passing through all this security clearance and he was so stressed by that time that we both decide to wait until all this was over. And that's why we got married passing the 90 days. Knowing we will have to pay for the I-130 and all that.

He's somehow vindictive if he feels someone is trying to hurt him -he defines himself as a pit-bull, that if he bites you will have to kill him to let go- I for sure not trying to hurt him as I love him that much I gave up so many things back in my country (including my whole family) just to be with him.

I for sure will talk to him, but I'm waiting for the right moment...

[aaydrian 479]

Lady, choose your battles wisely. It's sad you both let things reach this point over passwords.

[candy35 4]

well give it to him and ur right if u have a newborn then u dont have time to do everything .. but he has no right teating u like that ur his child mother but girl i would get out as fast as i got in its only more ####### to come .. hes not trusting u girl bye hes doing dirt open your eyes that makes no sense if he has your email then he knows who is fb you becasue it come to your email also

[Dana1232 0]

Lady, choose your battles wisely. It's sad you both let things reach this point over passwords.

Who could imagine that he will get so mad for me asking why he wants my password and saying to him No... *sigh* I have never asked for his password...and I really don't care if he gives it to me or not...

[candy35 4]

keep your eyes open thats all i saying somthing not right with him ... work is work i went off on my baby becasue i had a hard day at work and hes so far away but i later went back to him and said i was sorry i was just stress and need him here just to lay in his arms ...

[mom2be 4]

Hello,

Yesterday I had a fight over the phone with my husband (he's currently out of the state for work) because I didn't want to I've him my Facebook password. So I went to sleep, and about half hour ago the police came saying my husband had call them because he was "concerned" I wasn't answering the phone and may hurt our baby (it never crossed my mind) so when police saw everything was ok,and I was just sleeping they left. Then he called me and asked once again for my password which I didn't gave him (why should I?) so he said that he was going to report me as a fraud, and at is return I must sign for divorce or e will call the police saying I'm hurting the baby and taking him away from me and I must return to my country.

I don't want to divorce, I love him and know he's just mad, I came here with a k1 but we didn't get married in the 90 days, we filed the I-130 along with AOS. my son was born here. I he make me go back to my country will I be able to return or my son? Because he doesn't have a passport yet and I'm. Sure as hell he won't let me get a passport for him. I don't work, so I don't have that much on my own. We have been married just 6 months by now

What are my options? I'm desperate right now thinking of what he will do out of rage and without thinking clearly.

To any admin:

By accident I post it twice, please erase one

Wow I'm stunned:-(if all these threats came from a guy you are married to and love,I don't think you should stay married.You can't live a life having someone like that. My husband and I have joint bank account,but also both of us have each of our own which we kept our earned money to these two separated accounts.He knew my ATM pin because I asked him to take some cash out if we need it. But I don't know his pin and I am not interested to have it.Unless he is willing to let me have it for any reason.I shared with him my entire Facebook as I am logged to his iPad .When I post something I have him read it all over to check if my grammar is correct and also the spelling.He doesn't have Facebook even though I created one for him before,he is just not into it.I shared him my email password that has 6,000 or more emails 95% are spams.I also have his email password because I was the one created it for him.

But the way your husband threatened you just to get the password is outrageous !I wouldn't give it to him either.It is not because I'm afraid that he will find anything,but because I don't want him to think that in the future he can get everything from me by threatening me.Sorry for what you've been through,fight for your right, and don't give up on your baby.I hope you can get help legally here especially for your kid.Good luck

[Moomin 292]

So here's a different take on it to make you aware of the situation. Everytime he threatens with having you deported/divorcing, he's basically saying to BOTH your kids "wave bye bye to mommy". What a rotten behaviour to be that selfish. I don't really care what you or he is hiding or not hiding. I care that a father of two children can be that ignorant. While you might put up with his behaviour you can be darn sure that those 2 kiddos of yours deserve something more reliable than having their own dad threatening everytime something doesn't go as he planned and then you don't know how things look in the future because he would claim fraud or call the police on you.

He can't have you deported btw - it's not up to him however you can only adjust status through him. If he pulls the affidavit or I130/I485 is denied, then yes, you are deportable. I'm prety sure that he's aware of that and I'm even more convinced that you know that as well and therefore feel like you have to put up with his behaviour. Him being away for weeks at a time.. Well, good luck getting custody over those kids if it went that far.

[lierre 224]

I believe you have bigger issues than a Facebook password.

Work on that first. But, start documenting everything from now on.