vawa help

[Natalia23 1]

i apply for vawa (i-360 only) not i-765 or i-485) and i do not wish to continue i think i can save my marriage,deep down in my heart thats what i want to do, but if i get back with him am i gonna get deported? what if he applies for me i-130, please help me

[Sandra G. 5,026]

You can withdraw your I-360 petition. Vawa Unit is not deporting right now,not even cases of Vawa denial, and then your husband can file form I-130, but keep in mind if later on he becomes abusive again you ruined your chance to have any Vawa case approved.

You didn't ask me but i will give my personal opinion.I am an attorney and I have a non profit organization who helps victims of domestic violence and I assure you if your husband is not doing therapy for at least four months you are risking your life living with him. The odds of an abuser changing are low, VERY LOW. You just know if an abuser changed if he acknolwedged that he was abusive and took full responsibility of the abuse inflicted, he admitted he wanted to change and voluntary entered in some program to address abusive behavior, the program CANNOT be less than 16 weeks,if your husband didn't do any of these things you are doing a big mistake going back with him.

You said "I can save my marriage", it takes two to save a marriage, a commitment from both!.You need to ask yourself if your are safe by his side.

Edited December 22, 2012 by sandranj

[missymd 5]

Sandra nj, well said...domestic abuse is like a pattern that repeats itself...one minute they,re so nice the next minute they become monsters..and they know what buttons to push.

[Natalia23 1]

You can withdraw your I-360 petition. Vawa Unit is not deporting right now,not even cases of Vawa denial, and then your husband can file form I-130, but keep in mind if later on he becomes abusive again you ruined your chance to have any Vawa case approved.

You didn't ask me but i will give my personal opinion.I am an attorney and I have a non profit organization who helps victims of domestic violence and I assure you if your husband is not doing therapy for at least four months you are risking your life living with him. The odds of an abuser changing are low, VERY LOW. You just know if an abuser changed if he acknolwedged that he was abusive and took full responsibility of the abuse inflicted, he admitted he wanted to change and voluntary entered in some program to address abusive behavior, the program CANNOT be less than 16 weeks,if your husband didn't do any of these things you are doing a big mistake going back with him.

You said "I can save my marriage", it takes two to save a marriage, a commitment from both!.You need to ask yourself if your are safe by his side.

thank you, im really going to think about what u said. thNX

[Cesar & Cata 35]

1356236182[/url]' post='5885784']

thank you, im really going to think about what u said. thNX

Hope it all works out for you and your husband.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

You can withdraw your I-360 petition. Vawa Unit is not deporting right now,not even cases of Vawa denial, and then your husband can file form I-130, but keep in mind if later on he becomes abusive again you ruined your chance to have any Vawa case approved.

You didn't ask me but i will give my personal opinion.I am an attorney and I have a non profit organization who helps victims of domestic violence and I assure you if your husband is not doing therapy for at least four months you are risking your life living with him. The odds of an abuser changing are low, VERY LOW. You just know if an abuser changed if he acknolwedged that he was abusive and took full responsibility of the abuse inflicted, he admitted he wanted to change and voluntary entered in some program to address abusive behavior, the program CANNOT be less than 16 weeks,if your husband didn't do any of these things you are doing a big mistake going back with him.

You said "I can save my marriage", it takes two to save a marriage, a commitment from both!.You need to ask yourself if your are safe by his side.

I have to play devil's advocate here...

The above advice presumes that the accusations of abuse contained in the VAWA application are genuine, and not simply an attempt to gain lawful status when the spouse isn't being cooperative with adjustment of status. There are no hard statistics, but there are enough horror stories to confirm that the number of fraudulent VAWA applications is substantial. If this were one of those cases then it would be completely understandable why the USC spouse would not want to participate in any program of counseling or therapy because it would amount to an admission of abuse they never committed. In that event, your advice would constitute a recommendation that the OP continue with a fraudulent VAWA claim because her non-abusive spouse refuses to admit that he's abusive.

This is why I rarely post in VAWA topics other than maybe outlining the procedure. This particular area of immigration involves more deceit than any other, and it's almost impossible to tell if the anonymous person behind the screen name is being completely honest.

To the OP - I apologize if any of the above is offensive to you. I'm not accusing you of lying or engaging in fraud. I'm simply saying that you're swimming in shark infested waters, and it's difficult to tell through the internet if you're a dolphin or a shark. My personal philosophy in these cases is to focus on the procedural aspects and avoid any relationship advice since I don't want to find out afterward that I've helped a shark.

[Sandra G. 5,026]

If someone posts here saying she/he is being abused I don't think is my "duty" to know if she is lying or not, or even question her story. We are not immigration officers. The adjudicators are well trained to do their job and they are doing great, 11.000 vawa cases were approved and 2.000 denied in 2011.

Natalianicole I have no idea who you are or what your circumstances might be, you just to know your life has meaning.

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”

(Dalai Lama)

[Natalia23 1]

a lot of aspets in the domestic violence circle apply to me,i went to therapy, womens in disstres i was baker active etc, next month i have a hearing in court, he wants to dissolve the restrainer order, idk if he is doing that bc he wants to change n fix things or if is only to clean his record, its been more than a year that idk about him, i cant help but love him, we have the same religion n for us marriage is a serious thing, im tierd of all this.

thank you all for all the advice tho.

if my only intentions were to get legal thru marriage a usc i would have stay married for whatever time it takes to apply n then divorce him, that simple.

clearly this is not the case n much more is involve

[believe 46]

a lot of aspets in the domestic violence circle apply to me,i went to therapy, womens in disstres i was baker active etc, next month i have a hearing in court, he wants to dissolve the restrainer order, idk if he is doing that bc he wants to change n fix things or if is only to clean his record, its been more than a year that idk about him, i cant help but love him, we have the same religion n for us marriage is a serious thing, im tierd of all this.

thank you all for all the advice tho.

if my only intentions were to get legal thru marriage a usc i would have stay married for whatever time it takes to apply n then divorce him, that simple.

clearly this is not the case n much more is involve

Natalia please be careful. Stats say that it takes a woman 4 - 7 times to finally leave her abuser. But the violence always escalates. You may love him, but the fact is that love on it's own is not enough to sustain a marriage. Please take some time to think through what you want and need to do. When you're tired is not the best time to make a decision that will affect the rest of your life. If you guys have not been in contact for a year then the work of him going to therapy and repairing trust just has not been done. You don't want to find yourself in a repetitive cycle and get more helpless. And be careful that you're not listening to anyone who is telling you to go back and "endure." They won't be there if something horrible happens to you and you lose your life!

You were strong enough to get out once. Maintain your boundaries and exercise the strength you've gained from this experience. I wish you well.

[Ikki 4]

i apply for vawa (i-360 only) not i-765 or i-485) and i do not wish to continue i think i can save my marriage,deep down in my heart thats what i want to do, but if i get back with him am i gonna get deported? what if he applies for me i-130, please help me

What was the outcome of your situation? Did you work it out with your husband? If so, what did you do after the I-360 was approved?