need advise on how to proceed

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Hmmm, guy from one a country with likely the worst consulate on Earth makes another woman pregnant, she magically doesn't want the child, AND now daddy wants to petition kid?

Here's what it looks like: he wants to get to the US, leave you, petition for her.

You're a wonderful woman for ever forgiving this.

I don't see how this case will ever be approved. Even if this is not his intention, this is Lagos and you will be put through hell with this. Be prepared to pay your life away to a lawyer.

Actually in many tribes the child "belongs" to the father ( and the wife in old times ) The issue being that a first born son by traditional ways inherts everything of the father and the mother of that child hold a position of power no matter where she stands in the marriage order. She may not be first at the present but her child will be in the future. My father in law had 3 wives and the stories could put a soap opera to shame. Depending on how involved with Nigeria the OP's husband plans on being will have a huge effect on the headaches ahead. I know some that have come and never returned. ( Rare) and others that travel back for the holidays and other times ( more typical) Most Nigerians are very connected to family and blended families are never without their bumps

[AmyWrites 593]

Actually in many tribes the child "belongs" to the father ( and the wife in old times ) The issue being that a first born son by traditional ways inherts everything of the father and the mother of that child hold a position of power no matter where she stands in the marriage order. She may not be first at the present but her child will be in the future. My father in law had 3 wives and the stories could put a soap opera to shame. Depending on how involved with Nigeria the OP's husband plans on being will have a huge effect on the headaches ahead. I know some that have come and never returned. ( Rare) and others that travel back for the holidays and other times ( more typical) Most Nigerians are very connected to family and blended families are never without their bumps

That's real interesting, but, maybe the CO won't know this. When my husband and I were interviewed, he literally knew nothing about Russian culture. If that's the case it'll just scream "huge red flag".

[dwheels76 5,463]

Personally if I were you since this means alot to you and your husband that you raise the baby, is you must show the CO that you are a united front on this and you go along with this. I would have a notorized sworn statement attesting to this and you want this baby and would gladly raise this baby as your own. Even to the point of stating you know the situation of which the baby was conceived you have forgievn and welcome this new life (just saying). Do not leave any gray area for the CO to make up their own scenario.

If possible be there for interview the CO very well may want to see you talk to you. But that would speak volumes to your being together as one on this decision.

I do wish you all the best in your marriage and your upcoming interview. God Bless.

[rochel 0]

You don't want to be judged, maybe you do not want to get any advice from us regarding your relationship, but apparently we all care for your well-being, and this situation doesn't look like one. My mother married a turkish guy and he had a family in Turkey, once he had his french visa he dumped her like garbage and truly hurt my mom, she never wanted to listen to anyone in the family and she regretted it soooooooooo much.

Now regarding the Consulate, nobody will buy it... he cheated on you with a local girl and is having a child with her... just tell them the truth to them, that there is a unborn child on the way, then let things go their way.

Good luck