Confused and scared..

[impatience4u 0]

Hi, I'm new. First post. I've been reading through the VJ forums for a while, but just now drew up the courage to post. My fiancee and I have been weighing options on how best to proceed for her to join me in the US, but our situation is complicated and we're not getting much help from these immigration lawyers. The US embassy in her country has been surprisingly most helpful with responding to my questions even though I thought the answers I would get would be that they cannot give advice for marriages. The laws in her country do not allow for her to marry a foreigner. And we're not sure how we're going to acquire the neccessary documents from her country in order to get the paperwork needed to get married in another country. Let me backstep here a bit. We are choosing to not apply for K1 and instead apply for the spousal visa due to myself having been convicted of a violent offense a while back that cannot be expunged. From what I've read, it seems that the best option is to get married overseas that way we potentially avoid having to file that particular question. Before anyone jumps into me about why would anyone want to marry someone convicted of anything violent. It's all circumstances that lead up to my incident. I was married at the time although this incident had nothing to do with my divorce. Even my ex wife has stood up for me in situations before where I needed a character reference to show that I'm really just a harmless guy that was put in some extraordinary circumstances that lead up to it. That being said, my fiancee is well aware of what transpired.. but now we're not sure because of her circumstances and my circumstances what to do.

I guess I'm asking what are the chances that they'll deny me based on having on me being a violent offender? I saw a previous thread that someone said it's only an issue really that they want to make sure that she's fully aware of what happened, and then not to bring it up unless asked. And even if denied, what do other couples do in this situation where they can't get a US spousal visa? Do you just find another country to live in? I've traveled the world over, and I work for the US government(unfortunately not in USCIS ).. Not like we planned on falling in love, but now we're between a rock and hard place. I'm pretty much assured that I need to hire an immigration lawyer, but given our circumstance, I'm a bit wary of which one will do the best job and know whats going on. I'm just hoping to get some input and maybe someone has had a similar situation, or some advice to offer up. Or even saying this will never happen.. but just something other than sitting and wondering all day because we're afraid to file anything right now or even push forward for the marriage. I think both of us are too scared that my past offenses are going to keep us apart at this point and it's really tiring not knowing.

So.... Any help or advice would be great. Thanks.

[Penguin_ie 5,994]

Is the offence sex related? If not, you will be fine.

[impatience4u 0]

Violence related, not sex.

[Penguin_ie 5,994]

Shouldn't be a problem then- they likely will ask your fiance/ wife at interview about it, to make sure she knows, but that's it.

[impatience4u 0]

Thank you so much. You've belayed my last fear. I just got done talking with the US embassy in her country and they've talked me through how to marry her even though her country says they don't allow it. I was really expecting them to say that I needed to seek outside legal counsel. I am still shocked at how friendly and helpful they were. And now with this last question out of the way. I think we can better plan on how to proceed. I still think it better to marriage first and then go for the spousal visa. And the embassy agreed. Given our circumstances with her country, they said it's the best way to go. Because the free to marry paperwork that she needs from her country has to be issued in her country since they don't have that many embassies abroad. And I was worried if she went seeking this that they wouldn't let her leave the country, but the US embassy says that this document is a commonly used one in her country for a myriad of things. And they said not to worry. They actually had an employee just recently go through this process so they are current and up to date on how to make it work and skate under the radar of the host nation. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but it's one of the reasons I'm not naming countries here. So looks like we might make a tropical wedding after the first of the year!

And thank you again for telling me this. I hope that we don't have any difficulties. And I just saw that you got your spousal visa in 6 weeks! WOW!

[Penguin_ie 5,994]

Haha- don't take my timeline for yours, I was able to do DCF, which may or may not be available in your country. But if you fill in the forms with you, the petitioner, having a foreign address, it is generally fast tracked and should only take a few months rather than the usual 9-12.

[impatience4u 0]

I'm not sure what DCF is, but I wonder about this fast track you're talking about now. Technically my mailing address is still US, but my physical address is foreign. ANd no don't worry.. I'm fully expecting 12 months or more.

[dwheels76 5,468]

Just make sure you have strong evidence of relationship. You say you leave there pictures with her family and friends is very important. Don't know her cpuntry but you may want to check the forum for the country where interview will be and read interview reviews see what kind of questions and specific issues with that embassy.

No need to be scared and confused VJ is a great place and we all understand. But you can do it all urself.

All the best.

[pushbrk 12,979]

Is the offence sex related? If not, you will be fine.

Just FYI, the only kind of criminal record for a US Citizen that would cause a denial (of petition, so never get to the visa application) would be sex crimes against children (Specifically those that fall under the Adam Walsh Act) not just any sex related crime.

[impatience4u 0]

Thanks everyone for your quick answers. I just got a reply back from another lawyer that said to file a fiancee visa. Just shows how useless these guys are I guess. Especially when the embassy is telling me straight out to not go for the fiancee visa and do the spouse visa after we get married. The picture thing we are going to have to work on. We are heading to Thailand in a few months for our next vacation so we'll have to do a lot of pictures. I'm not really a picture person, so I'm usually just taking pictures of her, but I guess I'll have to change that. I doubt they'll accept that I was playing photographer. But I just called her and talked about all this with her, so we'll have to make the best of what we have and just relax and go with it.

Oh and to answer the question; No we don't live together or in the same country, but both of us are outside of our own countries working in different places. We met on vacation and one thing lead to another and we keep arranging vacations together until love happened.I guess that's a benefit of having a job where I get 7 weeks of vacation a year.

[pushbrk 12,979]

Thanks everyone for your quick answers. I just got a reply back from another lawyer that said to file a fiancee visa. Just shows how useless these guys are I guess. Especially when the embassy is telling me straight out to not go for the fiancee visa and do the spouse visa after we get married. The picture thing we are going to have to work on. We are heading to Thailand in a few months for our next vacation so we'll have to do a lot of pictures. I'm not really a picture person, so I'm usually just taking pictures of her, but I guess I'll have to change that. I doubt they'll accept that I was playing photographer. But I just called her and talked about all this with her, so we'll have to make the best of what we have and just relax and go with it.

Oh and to answer the question; No we don't live together or in the same country, but both of us are outside of our own countries working in different places. We met on vacation and one thing lead to another and we keep arranging vacations together until love happened.I guess that's a benefit of having a job where I get 7 weeks of vacation a year.

I suggest you get fully informed and make the decision that makes the most sense to you. You criminal record will only be an issue in a fiancee visa process in that you'll need to provide court records with the petition, so your fiancee can be informed. Your record is not a factor in petition or visa approval. It's just a matter of IMBRA requiring the foreign fiancee be fully informed prior to visa issue.

The spouse visa is a great idea if you aren't in a hurry and would like to marry first but there is no reason to think a K1 process would fail based on your criminal record.

Rely on the Embassy for "information" not "advice".

[dwheels76 5,468]

Thanks everyone for your quick answers. I just got a reply back from another lawyer that said to file a fiancee visa. Just shows how useless these guys are I guess. Especially when the embassy is telling me straight out to not go for the fiancee visa and do the spouse visa after we get married. The picture thing we are going to have to work on. We are heading to Thailand in a few months for our next vacation so we'll have to do a lot of pictures. I'm not really a picture person, so I'm usually just taking pictures of her, but I guess I'll have to change that. I doubt they'll accept that I was playing photographer. But I just called her and talked about all this with her, so we'll have to make the best of what we have and just relax and go with it.

Oh and to answer the question; No we don't live together or in the same country, but both of us are outside of our own countries working in different places. We met on vacation and one thing lead to another and we keep arranging vacations together until love happened.I guess that's a benefit of having a job where I get 7 weeks of vacation a year.

Again let reiterate pictures of you, her with family and friends is very key. Not just the two of you. Get to snapping.

Edited August 2, 2012 by dwheels76

[impatience4u 0]

thanks. I might be able to take pictures of her with her friends, but with family probably not. Going to her country is not going to be happening. My job + her country = me going to jail. Let's just leave it at that.

[dwheels76 5,468]

thanks. I might be able to take pictures of her with her friends, but with family probably not. Going to her country is not going to be happening. My job + her country = me going to jail. Let's just leave it at that.

Just make sure when you submit your evidence of your relationship mention that. I know for me I wrote a brief summary for my pics and even pulled off the US government website the dangers of travel and being out and about in Nigeria where i was their was a worry during the time i was there for all americans not to even go outside. and there had already been two attempts to kidnap me and i have the affidavits from family and police for that. So just note it because that is very major. And you won;t be the first to get married and not have family around. So its all good.

[jkb11 26]

I read your story and while I don't have an advice for you, you left me interested wondering, which country is your future spouse from, if you don't mind answering?

Edited August 3, 2012 by jkb11