Wasn't honest about how we met :(

[yakasushii 0]

Hello VJers,

I am a Canadian citizen, and I met my partner online. When I crossed the border to visit him, I said I was visiting a friend and was asked about how I met him, and I said at school back home. I had panicked and felt like saying that meeting him online would not have been a good idea, but I know by not that it was a GRAVE MISTAKE to not be truthful about this. I am absolutely terrified of the potential consequences of this. It was only my second time crossing the border, and I was really naive and didn't think it would matter. But now I am so worried about how this could affect our K1 visa application, and well... my life (if I would be banned from entering, charged with anything)...

I wish so much that I could have just said the truth, that there is some way I can undo this, to make amends for what I have done. My partner thinks I don't need to worry about it, but I am worried. Is there anything I can do? If I am asked again at the border about how I met my partner, I am in big trouble, because I will say that we met online, and it won't be consistent with my previous claim (but I also just said I was meeting a friend -- I have a few friends in the area).

Am I being overly apprehensive? I wish. But I am really concerned about how this could affect our relationship, as well as my future. Am I pretty much doomed with this?

All help is appreciated. I feel so awful about this.

[KTandTommy 31]

Don't quote me on this... but I'm pretty sure they don't write stuff like this down. At least, they don't at land crossings. Whenever I go through by land, they basically scan your passport ask you the questions, and determine by your answers if they need to pull you into secondary - I don't think they have time to log your answers to everything you say. (Heck - the first time we crossed the border after getting engaged, they grilled us, because we hadn't done our paperwork yet... I crossed the border at least 4 times since then, and they haven't ONCE asked to see the paperwork, even though I've had it with me every time)

My gut instinct is that you'll be okay.

Perhaps some other more knowledgeable members have non-anecdotal evidence to give you though...

[canadian_wife 1,831]

I think you'll be Ok. I NEVER condone lying in any format but what is done is done. You should be totally and fully truthful when crossing in the future. He isn't your friend, you aren't visiting 'friends', you are visiting your boyfriend/fiance.

What happens after that, well you'll have to suck it up and deal with any consequences but I honestly think you'll be fine. They aren't so much concerned with how you met, but they are concerned with when you'll go back to Canada

Good luck

[orangedesk 27]

Hello VJers,

I am a Canadian citizen, and I met my partner online. When I crossed the border to visit him, I said I was visiting a friend and was asked about how I met him, and I said at school back home. I had panicked and felt like saying that meeting him online would not have been a good idea, but I know by not that it was a GRAVE MISTAKE to not be truthful about this. I am absolutely terrified of the potential consequences of this. It was only my second time crossing the border, and I was really naive and didn't think it would matter. But now I am so worried about how this could affect our K1 visa application, and well... my life (if I would be banned from entering, charged with anything)...

I wish so much that I could have just said the truth, that there is some way I can undo this, to make amends for what I have done. My partner thinks I don't need to worry about it, but I am worried. Is there anything I can do? If I am asked again at the border about how I met my partner, I am in big trouble, because I will say that we met online, and it won't be consistent with my previous claim (but I also just said I was meeting a friend -- I have a few friends in the area).

Am I being overly apprehensive? I wish. But I am really concerned about how this could affect our relationship, as well as my future. Am I pretty much doomed with this?

All help is appreciated. I feel so awful about this.

You're not doomed. At least in my opinion

I'm going to paraphrase something I read in a previous thread. Someone had posted about visiting their significant other a second time and was worried that the first time they entered the US, they said they were visiting a friend, would it be suspicious if they then said fiance(e) or that a K1 was filed. One person responded and said something to the extent of: when they scan your passport upon entry, it brings up the dates of previous visits, not the explanations you give. Like, it's not going to say "Visited 1/1/2012 to go to disneyland and ride the dumbos," it'll just show the dates. What USCIS is most concerned with are overstaying, criminal activity, etc. Stretching the truth at entry is not advised under any circumstanced and I would definitely be honest in the future, but I do not at all think this is something to be concerned about.

The other thing too... you said at the border that you were visiting a friend from school. Is customs going to know the exact name of the person that you came to visit? It's quite possible, especially being from Canada, that you have several friends in the United States, one of whom you did go to school with previously.

So, <insert standard verbiage about not lying to customs, blah blah>... but I think you're getting worked up when you don't need to be. Next time you cross the border, just be honest, show evidence of a return, etc.

[yakasushii 0]

Thank you all so much for your replies!

I will DEFINITELY be completely honest at the border in the future! No doubts about that!

I wasn't asked for any names, and so didn't give any.

I've been worried because I was sure the officer was recording what I was saying. I would be so much at peace if in fact they don't record such things (I hope you are right, orangedesk!), but it really seemed like she was recording, because she was very specific in her questions (asked if he was Canadian, if he went to school in my city, etc.). I thought that, once the passport is scanned, that it would show any extra information recorded by officers?

I guess I'm just not sure why she would ask me so many questions if she wasn't recording the answers, which leads me to worry. I do hope I'm just getting worked up over nothing, though!

[revtech100 16]

Always be honest. But you have nothing to worry about. They scan your passport and send you on your way.

[yakasushii 0]

Thanks for your reply, revtech!

I do think it was recorded, but I hope and pray that it won't be an issue in the future!

[JohnR! 5,495]

You will be just fine, and other than the online thing you did not lie.

Girlfriend and boyfriend are not official denominations, nor do they connote a valid relationship. As it stands, there is no girl- or boyfriend visa status and it gives you no implied guarantees either.

A boyfriend is still a friend and legally, one is as binding as the other...

[Cori and Rob 55]

Visited 1/1/2012 to go to disneyland and ride the dumbos

:rofl:

[orangedesk 27]

:rofl:

That is a direct quote from the thread I originally read about this topic in. I wish I could find the original!!! LOL

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Thanks for your reply, revtech!

I do think it was recorded, but I hope and pray that it won't be an issue in the future!

Reading the questions I think she DID note them down but that was just in case you tried to AOS based on this entry. If you were planning to do this (or did off the cuff) we would recommend against it as your answers in that case could come back to haunt you (this is why when people say they are in the US and AOSing we ask whether they were asked any questions at the border).

As you are NOT planning on AOS (and I wouldn't recommend it now given your experience to even change your mind now you're here in the US) I wouldn't worry about it affecting your K1.

[CarolAnn&Eddy 12]

You will be fine. I travel to Canada to visit my fiance and POE is Sumas, WA. As a matter of fact I am here in Canada now on a vacation with him. At the border I tell them I am visiting my fiance, they ask how we met, I tell them online war game, they ask which one, if I have been to Canada before, and how long my trip will be this time and send me on my way. I get these questions everytime I enter.

Good luck on your journey!

[VanessaTony 3,567]

That is a direct quote from the thread I originally read about this topic in. I wish I could find the original!!! LOL

Here you go: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/350570-travelling-to-see-fiance-during-k1-visa-process/page__view__findpost__p__5144939

[yakasushii 0]

Vanessa, can you clarify what you mean?

I'm still in Canada. My visit was back in May, and it really was just a visit!

We're not engaged yet, but assuming we do successfully get the K1 visa after we file for it, I will be applying for AOS following marriage, of course.

Do you think that this entry will have any effect on any of that? I know I'm probably overthinking this, but it's something I really worry about.

Edited July 25, 2012 by yakasushii

[yakasushii 0]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Carol Ann!

I just get really worried because I said we met at school, when we actually met online. And since the officer seemed to record that, I think it might pose a problem in the future for me/us, and I am only going to state the truth from now on. I wish I had known it was okay to just say we met online! Being naive about this has been punishment enough!

You will be fine. I travel to Canada to visit my fiance and POE is Sumas, WA. As a matter of fact I am here in Canada now on a vacation with him. At the border I tell them I am visiting my fiance, they ask how we met, I tell them online war game, they ask which one, if I have been to Canada before, and how long my trip will be this time and send me on my way. I get these questions everytime I enter.

Good luck on your journey!