Less and Less Communication

[JulietteandRob 5]

Hi everyone, Im here asking for advice. Im a Filipina in Love with American man.

He is the most wonderful thing that ever happen to me. When he was here with me

I felt like part of Heaven.

He filed for K1 visa in February and still waiting for NOA2. But recently He has not

make good effort to stay in contact with me. He used to email me every day, sometimes

two times day. Now Im lucky if He email me two times week. Sometimes he text me

but not too much. He says I Love You , but now not sure if true.

Im thinking about if he has girlfriend in the U.S. and hes not time for me anymore.

He used to be more willing to email me and contact me everyday. Now not anymore.

Should I ask him about if he has girlfriend ? or should I tell him Im done with relationship,

until he can make better effort with me ?

Im really sad about this, and dont know what to do. He still says , I Love You , but

how can I know if he doesnt want to talk with me.

Please, need help about what to do.

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

Hi everyone, Im here asking for advice. Im a Filipina in Love with American man.

He is the most wonderful thing that ever happen to me. When he was here with me

I felt like part of Heaven.

He filed for K1 visa in February and still waiting for NOA2. But recently He has not

make good effort to stay in contact with me. He used to email me every day, sometimes

two times day. Now Im lucky if He email me two times week. Sometimes he text me

but not too much. He says I Love You , but now not sure if true.

Im thinking about if he has girlfriend in the U.S. and hes not time for me anymore.

He used to be more willing to email me and contact me everyday. Now not anymore.

Should I ask him about if he has girlfriend ? or should I tell him Im done with relationship,

until he can make better effort with me ?

Im really sad about this, and dont know what to do. He still says , I Love You , but

how can I know if he doesnt want to talk with me.

Please, need help about what to do.

Just ignore him for a bit. If he is serious that should wake him up.

[Cathi 5,622]

did you ask him why?

[abner137 48]

did you ask him why?

[kelly11anne 6]

Ask him why. If it's a weak excuse, start thinking about backing off yourself. Let him wonder why you're doing it. If it seems like he doesn't care, then maybe you will be better by yourself. I'll tell you this - same happened to me, but I was the one in the States waiting for my foreign boyfriend. We talked every day, most of the day through MSN messenger. After a little while, he started to disappear for days. I would be worried sick that something had happened. I thought maybe there was another woman there, but when I asked he said no. So I kept going and eventually everything was approved and he came here. ONLY 1 WEEK AFTER HIM ARRIVING, I RECEIVED AN E-MAIL FROM THE OTHER WOMAN IN HIS COUNTRY SAYING THAT HE WAS HER BOYFRIEND AND THAT HE HAD LIED TO HER TOO. I tried to forgive and forget, but it has haunted me. Now he has been here a year and he wants a divorce. Just be careful. Don't try to play down your fears, they could be the truth. If he gets mad when you ask about another woman, I personally think it's a bad sign. If he can talk about it calmly and assure you that that is not happening, then maybe you could be wrong. Just be careful.

[sojen 0]

Tell him how you feel about the whole thing.

[LSnBigBear 61]

Just come out and ask him why he has been silent. He may have work issues etc. My fiancee and I chat on average 6 nights a week sometimes all 7.. I do go out for my Friday night beers that sometimes delay me or I miss our chat. I send her a txt though informing her and she understands.... Keep in mind this is a Journey with him and this process. He could be really worried about this process. The best thing to do is ask him.. Don't mention your thoughts on him having another woman.. Just ask him why he does not like to chat as often as he use to.

And as you will learn in you CFO Semninar we are not always the man you met on line or spent the time with while we lived or visited there. Relationships are like a fulltime job sometimes and over time there are peaks and valleys of all relationships arrise. For guys we sometimes feel caged. That does not mean we want to cheat. It just means we need space sometimes.. And some women are this way as well. I was married 21 years the first time and witnessed all sorts of ups and downs. Neither one of us cheated. Our kids got into college and we found we had nothing in common but the kids. But for the 21 years we had very good times and times that were not the greatest. I learned to ride the wave..

I hope this helps.... Good luck

[actob99 156]

Good reply's here. Don't start hounding him if he has a gf here or not. Like what was said, just ask him why you guys aren't chatting so much. Maybe he has reasons.

We talk 7 days a week a few times a day on the phone and chat via chikka all tbe time too. Sometimes imnbusy and can't talk for that day or up north with no coverage. She asks why and I tell her. At first she would make sute I wasn't with my ex-wife. Now she knows over time that I am truly busy....

[thinkerlove0212 158]

Hi everyone, Im here asking for advice. Im a Filipina in Love with American man.

He is the most wonderful thing that ever happen to me. When he was here with me

I felt like part of Heaven.

He filed for K1 visa in February and still waiting for NOA2. But recently He has not

make good effort to stay in contact with me. He used to email me every day, sometimes

two times day. Now Im lucky if He email me two times week. Sometimes he text me

but not too much. He says I Love You , but now not sure if true.

Im thinking about if he has girlfriend in the U.S. and hes not time for me anymore.

He used to be more willing to email me and contact me everyday. Now not anymore.

Should I ask him about if he has girlfriend ? or should I tell him Im done with relationship,

until he can make better effort with me ?

Im really sad about this, and dont know what to do. He still says , I Love You , but

how can I know if he doesnt want to talk with me.

Please, need help about what to do.

Try to asked him what is going on? and if he still want to keep the relationship and the process.. You have to know early before coming here..

[Calypso 464]

How long has it been since the frequency of your communication changed? Does he still reply to your messages although not as prompt as before?

I agree to what other people said. Calmly, casually ask him what's going on. If he presents a sincere answer, tell him that you'd appreciate it better next time if he gives you a heads-up that he'd be quite occupied in the days to come instead of going AWOL.

It's really great to be with someone who creates time to communicate with you, not somebody who makes excuses why he's unable to.

Edited June 28, 2012 by Calypso

[january7th 7]

All I can say is, both of you have to set a day and time to talk each other. But once that time and day is settled make sure to get ready all the questions you need to ask. This is the hardest part of having long distance relarionship- communication and adjustment of time.

[JulietteandRob 5]

Well I read the posts and use advice and call my fiance.... He doesnt answer phone

first two time. Then Third try he finally answer phone. Then I ask him if he is not

want to talk anymore that much. And he tell me hes too busy now to talk about it.

Then I ask him again, whats the problem about this, why you dont talk to me anymore,

or email again everyday like before. Then he just make excuse about why he cant do that

again. Then I keep asking , just tell me truth about whats all about.

My worst fear is real now, He tell me that hes been spending time with other woman there.

She like him alot , and he just started to go have talk and dinner and thing with her.

Then he said when he alone at her house , she want to have boom boom with him. And he

couldnt resist her temptation. Now he say, he been having boom boom with this other woman

because Im not there yet. And he need to do that, because man need to do that , and cant

wait for me now, but when Im there he only want to be with me then.

Im so mad now about it, Im not sure if I should feel that way now. I think Im understand about

what he say. Maybe man need to do that always, and Im not good fiance because not be able to

take care of his need now, so he need other woman to do that for him until Im there.

Im not sure if I can believe about him Love me now, or if its true yet. I want to marry him

and dont want other woman to be around when Im there . Maybe he still see that woman if Im marry

him, but he said he wont do that.

Im really confused about whats next thing to do now. He said only he do that when Im here , not when

Im there with him married.

Please tell what you think about it.

Im sorry everyone about Bad Topic, I hope your Journey is good one to you.

Edited June 28, 2012 by JulietteandRob

[Mar and Esp 4]

Wow. He slept with another woman? Tsk tsk I don't know about you but you not being there for his "need" is not an excuse for infidelity. You could have slept with other men for your "need" but you didn't because you committed to this relationship. Too bad he couldn't keep his end of the commitment. Think this through and don't settle please. You deserve better. Go with your gut.

Edited June 28, 2012 by Mar and Esp

[Mogambi 96]

Very sorry to hear it, but you should probably end the relationship with that man. It's completely not true that men 'have to have sex'. That's just an excuse he is making up now because he has been caught. Think about it, not only did he CHEAT on you, he has been in another ongoing relationship with another woman, and hiding it from you. If trust is the key to any relationship, how can you ever trust him? You do deserve much better than him. And then for him to make up a sorry excuse of 'well men have to make boom boom' what a ridiculous thing to say.

If you love someone, you remain faithful to them. Period.

If he is behaving this way now, he will not change. He will never be faithful. He might really love you, but he's not a real man if he behaves that way.

As much as it will hurt, you will be better off finding a better man.

That's my opinion.

[bebe13 4]

so sad to hear that sis..

My fiance got tired from chatting, emails and FB too, but he always make it to the point that we can talk on cp everyday, more than 10x a day. ( we have unlimited international idd call, so we can talk anytime )

But maybe its better for you to cut this off..

Now he say, he been having boom boom with this other woman

because Im not there yet. And he need to do that, because man need to do that , and cant

wait for me now, but when Im there he only want to be with me then.

its a big NO NO! If he really love you, he will wait for you and will not get tempted by other girls..