Expiring J1 Visa. Should we Marry or apply for K1 Visa?

[Harpa Timsah 13,260]

In their eyes, it will be less likely that she will overstay the K1 visa and be in the U.S. illegally.

While a K-1 is a non-immigrant visa with a short time frame, the goal after marriage on a K-1 is to file Adjustment of Status so the foreign spouse becomes a permanent resident. It is technically possible to overstay a K-1 (if you never file AOS), but that is not the worry of the consulate in this case. There is no need to prove you are going back, because the point of the K-1 is to immigrate.

[Strycek 7]

If you care about her, I don't think you would suggest that she stay here illegally on the promise that you will fix it later. What if you broke up? Then any future plans she had of visiting down the road would be dashed. Wait out the month, see what happens, then decide. If still not ready for marriage then, file the K-1 and visit a lot She'll be back before you know it.

I agree. I would never have felt right about asking my wife to stay here illegally. She made it clear to me that I was really the only reason she was still here, and I didn't want to take advantage of that.

It's not very easy to cultivate a relationship when you're 7000 miles apart. If you're looking for surety, I don't know if you'll find it being separated (again that's just my opinion). In my experience is easier to let things slip away when you're apart. If you do decide to go the K-1 route, just let her down easy. I know my wife wouldn't have been very happy with me if I told her I wanted her to go, and we would get married later haha.

It sucks to be in that situation. I was there. Time is of the essence right now, so hopefully you guys can have a nice weekend filled with meaningful, deep discussion.

[UkraineSF 0]

If you care about her, I don't think you would suggest that she stay here illegally on the promise that you will fix it later. What if you broke up? Then any future plans she had of visiting down the road would be dashed. Wait out the month, see what happens, then decide. If still not ready for marriage then, file the K-1 and visit a lot She'll be back before you know it.

Hmmm yeah, I see your point. No guarantees in life though, we can break up in a marriage down the road too. I guess having her stay illegally for a few months didn't seem like a big deal to me if you weigh that option vs rushing into things and having a rushed wedding with no friends and family to witness it. It's a hard situation for us both, more so for her. The last thing I want is to ruin future visits for her though, which is why I'm posting here to see if waiting til the end of the year is that bad of an idea, or should we just go for it now.

Another poster made good logic earlier by saying it would look better to the USCIS to wait and not do a "rush marriage" as it would not look as legit as going through the long stressful process of a k1 and waiting etc. As I mentioned before, i can probably travel to her once a month for a weeks time 3-4 times while she is away. That should hopefully fill in any gaps before a k1 can be approved. I just don't know for certain if k1's are hard to get approved and if she can come right away, etc. Still figuring out all the answers! Thanks for your feedback as well. We'll be sure to make a decision that doesn't ruin her future travels in the US as well as keep us apart for longer than is necessary.

[Strycek 7]

Thanks for the input. Makes sense. Do things by the books when her visa expires next month. She came here legally 2 years ago, it's just the program she is in expires shortly. We are just worried that she won't be allowed back into the US even if we do things by the book and look good for the USCIS. What you said makes sense though. The "212e" doesn't really apply to us. Some j1 visa's have that checked, which basically means after their visa expires, they have to remain in their home country for 2 years before they can come back to the US, at least that's my understanding of it, but that point is moot since she is off the hook for that. Thanks for the response again!

Yes it means she's not subject to the 2 year home residency requirement. My wife wasn't easier, so it make AOS from J-1 a lot easier. She should have a 30 day grace period after her Visa expires where she is technically still within her authorized stay.

[Strycek 7]

Hmmm yeah, I see your point. No guarantees in life though, we can break up in a marriage down the road too. I guess having her stay illegally for a few months didn't seem like a big deal to me if you weigh that option vs rushing into things and having a rushed wedding with no friends and family to witness it. It's a hard situation for us both, more so for her. The last thing I want is to ruin future visits for her though, which is why I'm posting here to see if waiting til the end of the year is that bad of an idea, or should we just go for it now.

Another poster made good logic earlier by saying it would look better to the USCIS to wait and not do a "rush marriage" as it would not look as legit as going through the long stressful process of a k1 and waiting etc. As I mentioned before, i can probably travel to her once a month for a weeks time 3-4 times while she is away. That should hopefully fill in any gaps before a k1 can be approved. I just don't know for certain if k1's are hard to get approved and if she can come right away, etc. Still figuring out all the answers! Thanks for your feedback as well. We'll be sure to make a decision that doesn't ruin her future travels in the US as well as keep us apart for longer than is necessary.

You could also get married overseas, but I don't know if that makes the process any shorter, and you probably want to get married here.

[LeftCoastLady 441]

In addition to the K-1 link I posted upthread, also read through the comparison chart on the options available. There's the K-1 fiancé or the IR-1/CR-1 for spouses. There are pros and cons, so you would need to decide which is the best option for the two of you, however, all involve some separation as she would need to return home for the medical exam and interview.

http://www.visajourney.com/content/compare

[UkraineSF 0]

I agree. I would never have felt right about asking my wife to stay here illegally. She made it clear to me that I was really the only reason she was still here, and I didn't want to take advantage of that.

It's not very easy to cultivate a relationship when you're 7000 miles apart. If you're looking for surety, I don't know if you'll find it being separated (again that's just my opinion). In my experience is easier to let things slip away when you're apart. If you do decide to go the K-1 route, just let her down easy. I know my wife wouldn't have been very happy with me if I told her I wanted her to go, and we would get married later haha.

It sucks to be in that situation. I was there. Time is of the essence right now, so hopefully you guys can have a nice weekend filled with meaningful, deep discussion.

Lol that actually made me laugh. Yeah being apart is hard. I do want to avoid it. I guess maybe I'm thinking about things too much and not really understanding what it all means for her unintentionally of course. Initially I was thinking she can go home, visit her folks for a month and I can visit her folks once for the first time and we can come back to the US under the k1 visa after month 2, but it's sounding like from what everyone is saying that a k1 visa can take anywhere from 6-8 months with no guarantees.

Now I'm beginning to believe maybe a fast marriage is best; it's not like we can't have a real marriage with friends and family later in the year, right? I'm just worried about it "looking bad" as far as the USCIS is concerned.

[UkraineSF 0]

A head's up, the petition process for the K-1 visa takes a lot longer than three months. If you decide to go the K-1 route, first you would submit the I-129F petition. The petition would then be adjudicated in about 5-6 months. You can read up on the rest of the process here: http://www.visajourney.com/content/k1guide

One thing, encouraging someone to stay beyond their visa is a huge risk that could lead to an even longer period of separation. If you're not ready to get married now and decide to go the K-1 route, then she will have to go home before her visa expires. Any plans for a holiday wedding, etc. would likely be off the table at this point as well.

Thanks for that info! I guess a nice small wedding can always wait down the road. Seems like taking care of legalities should be our primary concern.

[Strycek 7]

Lol that actually made me laugh. Yeah being apart is hard. I do want to avoid it. I guess maybe I'm thinking about things too much and not really understanding what it all means for her unintentionally of course. Initially I was thinking she can go home, visit her folks for a month and I can visit her folks once for the first time and we can come back to the US under the k1 visa after month 2, but it's sounding like from what everyone is saying that a k1 visa can take anywhere from 6-8 months with no guarantees.

Now I'm beginning to believe maybe a fast marriage is best; it's not like we can't have a real marriage with friends and family later in the year, right? I'm just worried about it "looking bad" as far as the USCIS is concerned.

Yeah we planned our wedding pretty quickly, but it was a nice intimate affair with 35 people. We rented out a nice little restaurant next to a park, and her old boss filled out the paperwork to be able to legally marry us, so he performed the ceremony. It was February in Chicago, so outside wasn't an option. You obviously could always do something later after the legal marriage. We actually just had a party at my parents a month ago, so all the extended family could come.

Keep us posted on what you guys decide!

[didopage 337]

If you can handle a long distance relationship for about 6-9 months, I would go the K-1 route. This can be difficult but as you said, you can travel to go see her (my husband and I met twice during the process, and that helped!), meet her family, enjoy your time as fiances, be mentally prepared to be married and big point, it may also make your relationship stronger if you manage the long wait.

Your relationship seems legit, so don't worry about being denied. The K-1 visa is relatively easy to get if your relationship is real and if the beneficiary lives in a country with low-fraud (I believe Ukraine is low-fraud). You just need to follow well the USCIS and VJ instructions, and wait.

I got a J-1 and yes, you can stay in the US up to one month until the "program" finishes (but I think the visa expiration date includes that one month, right? mine was like that). The 2-year rule didn't apply to me either. My fiance proposed 2 weeks before I left, and we prepared our I-129F package just before I left.

[Lilyena 10]

While there is no guarantee that a K-1 is issued, same applies to AOS if married now. Actually, the requirements for the K-1 are quite relaxed (as compared to other types of visas) and Ukraine citizens don't seem to have any special challenges in respect to K-1s (as it is the case with other countries); in fact, it would seem from posts here that in most cases is more a formality and process (and I don't want to oversimplify things) as long as the requirements are met. On the other side, and given the situation of the J-1, it could be construed (I'm not saying it is or isn't, I'm saying USCIS might decide that this is the case here) that the marriage is to gain an immigration benefit and your case might actually get much scrutinized than with a K-1 and then AOS.

I agree with that. I wouldnt worry about the J1 if really all you need is more time to not feel rushed. I don't know anyone with a solide file from Ukraine who has been denied..It is just very important to file carefully and give all the requested evidences...

I also met my husband while on a K1 and even though we were SURE that we wanted to get married, I went home and we've been on a long distance relationship for 2 years before beeing to get married, but not because the K1 took forever, because of other stuff (studies). Of course, this requires to have a job that allows to pay for the expensive tickets, and the more often you wanna see each other, the worse it gets. Since we both had enough vacations to see visit each alternativelay every 2 months, it meant even more plane tickets...

Of course, not everyone has the money and the time to wait as much as we did and visit so often, but it worked for us, and I don't regret it.

I'd say it depends on how much $$$$ you have, how many times you would be able to visit each other and how long you wanna wait. To obtain a K1 you will need to wait minimum 6 months if everything goes well, but she can still visit while its pending, but it can get tricky....I stopped visiting once my petition has been approved because I almost got denied the more I visited....

Also you should look into the IR1/CR1 option: get married in Ukraine (or in the US but she will have to go back to Ukraine during the process) and get that visa. If I had the choice I would have applied for that visa rather than a K1 because once you are in the US you get the greencard in the mail a couple of weeks after arriving, instead of going through another process once in the US called Adjustment of Status.

The procedure for IR1/CR1 is maybe a bit rougher, but it doesnt take longer than a K1 to obtain and it saves you so much hassle once you obtain it.

It depends on how you feel really! ^^ Maybe you should also see an immigration lawyer and discuss the best options.

I understand that you don't wanna rush, but if you're sure she's the one....

Good luck

If you can handle a long distance relationship for about 6-9 months, I would go the K-1 route. This can be difficult but as you said, you can travel to go see her (my husband and I met twice during the process, and that helped!), meet her family, enjoy your time as fiances, be mentally prepared to be married and big point, it may also make your relationship stronger if you manage the long wait.

Your relationship seems legit, so don't worry about being denied. The K-1 visa is relatively easy to get if your relationship is real and if the beneficiary lives in a country with low-fraud (I believe Ukraine is low-fraud). You just need to follow well the USCIS and VJ instructions, and wait.

I got a J-1 and yes, you can stay in the US up to one month until the "program" finishes (but I think the visa expiration date includes that one month, right? mine was like that). The 2-year rule didn't apply to me either. My fiance proposed 2 weeks before I left, and we prepared our I-129F package just before I left.

Couldn't have said it better

Edited June 15, 2012 by Lilyena

[Sandra G. 5,102]

I believe if the love for each other is genuine your guys should wait to be sure. Each year, thousands of people tie the knot with dreams of living happily-ever-after and 50% end up divorcing in the USA.Don't rush into marriage, take your time, go visit her family.I truly believe it is important to take the time to prepare yourself for such step.Did you discuss with her everything from how many kids you plan to have, money issues,religion,sex? . Well I am sick and tired to see people getting married and they didn't discuss important things prior of the wedding and of course most of the time ended up divorcing. I have two cases to illustrate here.A friend of mine got married and as soon she got married she just decided to be a housewife, her husband didn't agree with her decision because he needed her financial help,well after 14 months married they divorced, another friend got married and she didn't want to have kids, they never discussed about that before getting marriage, the guy wanted to have a baby and of course they divorced after two years together.We have here in the VJ one case the couple were in LOVE, got married after six months of dating and she didn't know he spent several years in a mental institution, guess what? he tried to kill her, and he was charged with attempted murder.

Have fun,meet her family, her friends, visit her Country, wait a bit more, plan and prepare a nice wedding and be happy forever and one day!

Edited June 15, 2012 by sandranj

[UkraineSF 0]

Yeah I was thinking of waiting and even flying back to the Ukraine with her to meet her folks. I've never been and could be a fun trip in the process. I guess the whole denial of a k1 or a very long process of it is the only issue. With technology, Skype etc. and the many travel miles I have, 4-6 months would go quickly. I think she wants to stay though. We are going to have a long discussion soon. If she stays, I guess out only options are for a quick marriage before j1 expires next month which could look bad, or have her overstay a few months and get married later in the year, which could also be bad. No easy solutions! Lol.

[UkraineSF 0]

Hi everyone! A quick update. We are still figuring things out but it sounds like she doesn't want to go the k1 visa route. Her reasoning is because it'll be hard for her to find a job, a place to stay (her parents place is very small and doesn't seem like an option) and is a little worried of distance hurting our relationship. This all makes sense. I guess I didn't take into account of her situation back in the Ukraine as she doesn't have much saved up. A k1 is still on the table but as a last resort I guess. Her main thing is that she is already here and it seems more costly to go back to her country, then back again later. If she overstays, she wouldn't be able to work in the US or get a valid driver's license if I'm not mistaken correct?

My question is, is there another route we can take aside from getting married literally in less than a month, without her overstaying her j1 of course. My main issue is that i personally like to take my time and don't want to feel like we rushed into a marriage a year or two down the road because we were pressed for time, but at the same time I don't want to prolong her from actually having a life out here. It seems the faster we get married the better it is for her, so she can get a job etc. She made two good points that we can always have an official wedding with friends/family at the end of the year like i initially wanted, it's just the paperwork that is important. Also, she brought up the fact that she doesn't care how the USCIS views a "rushed marriage" so close to her j1 expiring, since it is real and believes there isn't nothing they can really do because they would not find anything to prove it was a sham, which is true (we have plenty of pics, some old restaurant and movie receipts etc.).

I guess it comes down to me wondering why there isn't a type of visa that allows you to remain in the US longer when something like a j1 expires and there are no other options. Like a k1 would be perfect for our situation I think if it didn't require her to go to the Ukraine and she could stay here during that process. At the end of the day, I just want the process smooth and unrushed; wanted to enjoy being engaged, having a bachelorette/bachelor party for each of us and all the joys leading up to an actual wedding like her showing off a ring and me introducing her to people that have never met her due to distance etc. It would be ideal if they allowed us to be fiances/engaged while she is already here and file for a future marriage in the year. I just want to get us a few more months for both of us to really make sure we are both ready for this type of commitment.

Thanks again everyone, I'll keep this thread posted when a final decision is made!

[LeftCoastLady 441]

Hi everyone! A quick update. We are still figuring things out but it sounds like she doesn't want to go the k1 visa route. Her reasoning is because it'll be hard for her to find a job, a place to stay (her parents place is very small and doesn't seem like an option) and is a little worried of distance hurting our relationship. This all makes sense. I guess I didn't take into account of her situation back in the Ukraine as she doesn't have much saved up. A k1 is still on the table but as a last resort I guess. Her main thing is that she is already here and it seems more costly to go back to her country, then back again later. If she overstays, she wouldn't be able to work in the US or get a valid driver's license if I'm not mistaken correct?

My question is, is there another route we can take aside from getting married literally in less than a month, without her overstaying her j1 of course. My main issue is that i personally like to take my time and don't want to feel like we rushed into a marriage a year or two down the road because we were pressed for time, but at the same time I don't want to prolong her from actually having a life out here. It seems the faster we get married the better it is for her, so she can get a job etc. She made two good points that we can always have an official wedding with friends/family at the end of the year like i initially wanted, it's just the paperwork that is important. Also, she brought up the fact that she doesn't care how the USCIS views a "rushed marriage" so close to her j1 expiring, since it is real and believes there isn't nothing they can really do because they would not find anything to prove it was a sham, which is true (we have plenty of pics, some old restaurant and movie receipts etc.).

I guess it comes down to me wondering why there isn't a type of visa that allows you to remain in the US longer when something like a j1 expires and there are no other options. Like a k1 would be perfect for our situation I think if it didn't require her to go to the Ukraine and she could stay here during that process. At the end of the day, I just want the process smooth and unrushed; wanted to enjoy being engaged, having a bachelorette/bachelor party for each of us and all the joys leading up to an actual wedding like her showing off a ring and me introducing her to people that have never met her due to distance etc. It would be ideal if they allowed us to be fiances/engaged while she is already here and file for a future marriage in the year. I just want to get us a few more months for both of us to really make sure we are both ready for this type of commitment.

Thanks again everyone, I'll keep this thread posted when a final decision is made!

Unfortunately, no such option exists. If it did, many of us would have used such a path to have our loved ones remain in the country. Whatever you decide, it shouldn't involve your fiancée overstaying her visa. If you're not ready to get married before her visa expires, then it would be best for her to return home.