Expiring J1 Visa. Should we Marry or apply for K1 Visa?

[UkraineSF 0]

New to forums but have been reading various threads the last couple days.

I am a US Citizen. My girlfriend is from the Ukraine and is an Au Pair on a J1 Visa which expired this week. She gets a travel month, so technically she is still legal for another month (I think that's how it works). We met shortly after the new year and have been dating since (6 months approximately). She can no longer extend her stay through the program since it's been 2 years already, and she is also past the Au Pair age limit I believe (over 25). Also, her current visa DOES NOT require to return home for 2 years (i think it's some 212e law or something); however, I still have many questions and I was hoping to get advice for us both as well as some information.

1) Since her j1 expired, or is expiring, depending on how you look at the extra travel month, is it too risky for her to go back to the Ukraine and then I can apply for a k1 visa? The reason why this makes sense to ME, is because it gives her time to speak to her family in person, gives us time as a couple to see where we are as a couple exactly and not rush into a marriage simply because her j1 is expiring. I know I want to be with her, as well as vise versa, but I've always believed in not rushing things. A k1 also gives both of us time to make arrangements for a real wedding, a nice wedding and not one that is rushed. The problem she has with this, as do I, is that we are both concerned that a k1 visa will be harder to achieve and that there is no guarantee that she'll be able to get back into the USA. This is a very big concern actually. I personally am not sure if I want to risk her going back home if she can't come back easily, which leads me to my second question...

2) Maybe less of a question and more of advice. Would getting married be a better option as opposed to a k1 visa? Personally, it just feels rushed. I want both of us to enjoy the steps leading up to marriage, but if this is a safer way to keep her with me, then this might make the most sense. If marriage seems safer, is there a timetable we need to go by since her j1 is expiring in less than a month? Or can she stay here illegally with her Au Pair family and we can take our time with the marriage process.

My main thing is to keep her here as I do not want to risk her not being able to get back to the US. My other concern is that I just don't want to rush the process as I alluded to earlier. It's not because I'm unsure of her true commitment or intentions for me, it's just we have only dated 6 months, and quite honestly another 3 months of really figuring our relationship out would be beneficial. We just don't want to lose one another by taking the wrong approach.

Many thanks in advance. I welcome all personal advice and legal answers.

PS: Originally she was doing a school visa change of status after her j1; however, it turns out it is just causing too many problems, stress and headaches financially and mentally.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

The number 1 questions is, are you ready to get married?

btw... a K-1 is not any harder than Adjustment of Status in the US.

[UkraineSF 0]

The number 1 questions is, are you ready to get married?

btw... a K-1 is not any harder than Adjustment of Status in the US.

I am, yes. I just want to make sure she is and isn't rushing into things. I feel like I can get a better gauge of things in a few more months. We see each other quite often, 4x a week, but it's just that things are still fresh, ya know?

I did have another question from my thread. I was reading some old threads on this site via google search and am starting to become confused. Is a k1 visa even needed if she is expired or can we wait til the end of the year, take our time and get married. That would only be another 5 months or are those 5 months gonna hurt her chances of remaining here?

I guess ideally i would want us to get married somewhere around the end of the year, but the main question is will prolonging it hurt our chances down the road since technically she will be illegal in a month.

Obviously, her and I still have much to discuss and I appreciate everyones candid advice. Thanks again!

[Strycek 7]

New to forums but have been reading various threads the last couple days.

I am a US Citizen. My girlfriend is from the Ukraine and is an Au Pair on a J1 Visa which expired this week. She gets a travel month, so technically she is still legal for another month (I think that's how it works). We met shortly after the new year and have been dating since (6 months approximately). She can no longer extend her stay through the program since it's been 2 years already, and she is also past the Au Pair age limit I believe (over 25). Also, her current visa DOES NOT require to return home for 2 years (i think it's some 212e law or something); however, I still have many questions and I was hoping to get advice for us both as well as some information.

1) Since her j1 expired, or is expiring, depending on how you look at the extra travel month, is it too risky for her to go back to the Ukraine and then I can apply for a k1 visa? The reason why this makes sense to ME, is because it gives her time to speak to her family in person, gives us time as a couple to see where we are as a couple exactly and not rush into a marriage simply because her j1 is expiring. I know I want to be with her, as well as vise versa, but I've always believed in not rushing things. A k1 also gives both of us time to make arrangements for a real wedding, a nice wedding and not one that is rushed. The problem she has with this, as do I, is that we are both concerned that a k1 visa will be harder to achieve and that there is no guarantee that she'll be able to get back into the USA. This is a very big concern actually. I personally am not sure if I want to risk her going back home if she can't come back easily, which leads me to my second question...

2) Maybe less of a question and more of advice. Would getting married be a better option as opposed to a k1 visa? Personally, it just feels rushed. I want both of us to enjoy the steps leading up to marriage, but if this is a safer way to keep her with me, then this might make the most sense. If marriage seems safer, is there a timetable we need to go by since her j1 is expiring in less than a month? Or can she stay here illegally with her Au Pair family and we can take our time with the marriage process.

My main thing is to keep her here as I do not want to risk her not being able to get back to the US. My other concern is that I just don't want to rush the process as I alluded to earlier. It's not because I'm unsure of her true commitment or intentions for me, it's just we have only dated 6 months, and quite honestly another 3 months of really figuring our relationship out would be beneficial. We just don't want to lose one another by taking the wrong approach.

Many thanks in advance. I welcome all personal advice and legal answers.

PS: Originally she was doing a school visa change of status after her j1; however, it turns out it is just causing too many problems, stress and headaches financially and mentally.

Well it sounds like I was in an almost identical situation. My wife was a J1 AuPair, she had been here 2 years, and she was also 25. We had been dating for about 8 months when we got married. It was quick for me, and I didn't want to rush things either. If I would have had my choice, it wouldn't have happened near that quick, but honestly I may have needed a little push. If I had time to wait around forever, it probably would have taken me forever. It was a very difficult decision for me to make, and it felt like a bit of a leap of faith. We loved each other and respected each other, and I wasn't really worried about us. I just wasn't sure I was ready for the decision. I'm obviously no expert on marriage, since we haven't even hit our 4 month anniversary yet haha, but I am very happy and glad I made the decision I did.

I have no experience with the K-1, but judging by the things I read here, I think it will take a little while. It seems like they do most of the waiting abroad, so you guys would be without each other for a while. I've been in distance relationships before, and they are difficult to keep going, but if you have a plan to bring her back, I'm sure it will be a lot easier. Think about it, talk to her, and hopefully you can make the right decision. Good luck to the both of you!

[Strycek 7]

I am, yes. I just want to make sure she is and isn't rushing into things. I feel like I can get a better gauge of things in a few more months. We see each other quite often, 4x a week, but it's just that things are still fresh, ya know?

I did have another question from my thread. I was reading some old threads on this site via google search and am starting to become confused. Is a k1 visa even needed if she is expired or can we wait til the end of the year, take our time and get married. That would only be another 5 months or are those 5 months gonna hurt her chances of remaining here?

I guess ideally i would want us to get married somewhere around the end of the year, but the main question is will prolonging it hurt our chances down the road since technically she will be illegal in a month.

Obviously, her and I still have much to discuss and I appreciate everyones candid advice. Thanks again!

I don't know if her staying here while she is out of status is a good idea. I certainly wouldn't suggest it. I don't know what the others on here could tell you. My wife and I planned our wedding in 2 months, much quicker than most people do. I didn't feel right asking her to stay here illegally, so I wanted to make sure that we were married before she was supposed to depart. It sounds like you're working with less time, so you would have to plan something even quicker. It sounds like you care for her, otherwise you wouldn't even be considering it. Think about it, listen to your heart, and don't be too selfish in the process

[UkraineSF 0]

Well it sounds like I was in an almost identical situation. My wife was a J1 AuPair, she had been here 2 years, and she was also 25. We had been dating for about 8 months when we got married. It was quick for me, and I didn't want to rush things either. If I would have had my choice, it wouldn't have happened near that quick, but honestly I may have needed a little push. If I had time to wait around forever, it probably would have taken me forever. It was a very difficult decision for me to make, and it felt like a bit of a leap of faith. We loved each other and respected each other, and I wasn't really worried about us. I just wasn't sure I was ready for the decision. I'm obviously no expert on marriage, since we haven't even hit our 4 month anniversary yet haha, but I am very happy and glad I made the decision I did.

I have no experience with the K-1, but judging by the things I read here, I think it will take a little while. It seems like they do most of the waiting abroad, so you guys would be without each other for a while. I've been in distance relationships before, and they are difficult to keep going, but if you have a plan to bring her back, I'm sure it will be a lot easier. Think about it, talk to her, and hopefully you can make the right decision. Good luck to the both of you!

Thanks! Yeah sounds like you were in a similar situation. I'm not too concerned with being away for a short period of time (3 months or so would be my max I can tolerate). I can travel a lot due to a flexible job and a million travel miles, so I can always visit her once a month back in the Ukraine. I'm glad to here of another person's situation working out well. Ideally, I'd like to wait to the end of the year to get married, maybe around the holidays so we can have close family and friends attend rather than go to city hall or even Vegas haha. Do you have any knowledge if waiting a few months will hurt her chances to remain in the US? She officially expires in July, so it's either take a leap of faith and get married before then or wait 5 months and fill out papers right away soon after. This is the route I want to go personally but not at the risk of us losing each other. Good luck to you too, hope the marriage works out!

[Gosia & Tito 199]

New to forums but have been reading various threads the last couple days.

I am a US Citizen. My girlfriend is from the Ukraine and is an Au Pair on a J1 Visa which expired this week. She gets a travel month, so technically she is still legal for another month (I think that's how it works). We met shortly after the new year and have been dating since (6 months approximately). She can no longer extend her stay through the program since it's been 2 years already, and she is also past the Au Pair age limit I believe (over 25). Also, her current visa DOES NOT require to return home for 2 years (i think it's some 212e law or something); however, I still have many questions and I was hoping to get advice for us both as well as some information.

1) Since her j1 expired, or is expiring, depending on how you look at the extra travel month, is it too risky for her to go back to the Ukraine and then I can apply for a k1 visa? The reason why this makes sense to ME, is because it gives her time to speak to her family in person, gives us time as a couple to see where we are as a couple exactly and not rush into a marriage simply because her j1 is expiring. I know I want to be with her, as well as vise versa, but I've always believed in not rushing things. A k1 also gives both of us time to make arrangements for a real wedding, a nice wedding and not one that is rushed. The problem she has with this, as do I, is that we are both concerned that a k1 visa will be harder to achieve and that there is no guarantee that she'll be able to get back into the USA. This is a very big concern actually. I personally am not sure if I want to risk her going back home if she can't come back easily, which leads me to my second question...

2) Maybe less of a question and more of advice. Would getting married be a better option as opposed to a k1 visa? Personally, it just feels rushed. I want both of us to enjoy the steps leading up to marriage, but if this is a safer way to keep her with me, then this might make the most sense. If marriage seems safer, is there a timetable we need to go by since her j1 is expiring in less than a month? Or can she stay here illegally with her Au Pair family and we can take our time with the marriage process.

My main thing is to keep her here as I do not want to risk her not being able to get back to the US. My other concern is that I just don't want to rush the process as I alluded to earlier. It's not because I'm unsure of her true commitment or intentions for me, it's just we have only dated 6 months, and quite honestly another 3 months of really figuring our relationship out would be beneficial. We just don't want to lose one another by taking the wrong approach.

Many thanks in advance. I welcome all personal advice and legal answers.

PS: Originally she was doing a school visa change of status after her j1; however, it turns out it is just causing too many problems, stress and headaches financially and mentally.

While there is no guarantee that a K-1 is issued, same applies to AOS if married now. Actually, the requirements for the K-1 are quite relaxed (as compared to other types of visas) and Ukraine citizens don't seem to have any special challenges in respect to K-1s (as it is the case with other countries); in fact, it would seem from posts here that in most cases is more a formality and process (and I don't want to oversimplify things) as long as the requirements are met. On the other side, and given the situation of the J-1, it could be construed (I'm not saying it is or isn't, I'm saying USCIS might decide that this is the case here) that the marriage is to gain an immigration benefit and your case might actually get much scrutinized than with a K-1 and then AOS.

[UkraineSF 0]

I don't know if her staying here while she is out of status is a good idea. I certainly wouldn't suggest it. I don't know what the others on here could tell you. My wife and I planned our wedding in 2 months, much quicker than most people do. I didn't feel right asking her to stay here illegally, so I wanted to make sure that we were married before she was supposed to depart. It sounds like you're working with less time, so you would have to plan something even quicker. It sounds like you care for her, otherwise you wouldn't even be considering it. Think about it, listen to your heart, and don't be too selfish in the process

Yes I do. Been awhile since I've had these feelings. Just want everything to be right but alas, time is of the essence it seems. Thanks again!

[UkraineSF 0]

While there is no guarantee that a K-1 is issued, same applies to AOS if married now. Actually, the requirements for the K-1 are quite relaxed (as compared to other types of visas) and Ukraine citizens don't seem to have any special challenges in respect to K-1s (as it is the case with other countries); in fact, it would seem from posts here that in most cases is more a formality and process (and I don't want to oversimplify things) as long as the requirements are met. On the other side, and given the situation of the J-1, it could be construed (I'm not saying it is or isn't, I'm saying USCIS might decide that this is the case here) that the marriage is to gain an immigration benefit and your case might actually get much scrutinized than with a K-1 and then AOS.

Hmmm i see your point, it actually crossed my mind as I was typing. It's one of the reasons why I want to wait til the end of the year to get married, as it might even look better to the USCIS; otherwise, they could view it as a last ditch effort to stay in the US without really knowing our history. Thanks for the feedback.

[LeftCoastLady 441]

Thanks! Yeah sounds like you were in a similar situation. I'm not too concerned with being away for a short period of time (3 months or so would be my max I can tolerate). I can travel a lot due to a flexible job and a million travel miles, so I can always visit her once a month back in the Ukraine. I'm glad to here of another person's situation working out well. Ideally, I'd like to wait to the end of the year to get married, maybe around the holidays so we can have close family and friends attend rather than go to city hall or even Vegas haha. Do you have any knowledge if waiting a few months will hurt her chances to remain in the US? She officially expires in July, so it's either take a leap of faith and get married before then or wait 5 months and fill out papers right away soon after. This is the route I want to go personally but not at the risk of us losing each other. Good luck to you too, hope the marriage works out!

A head's up, the petition process for the K-1 visa takes a lot longer than three months. If you decide to go the K-1 route, first you would submit the I-129F petition. The petition would then be adjudicated in about 5-6 months. You can read up on the rest of the process here: http://www.visajourney.com/content/k1guide

One thing, encouraging someone to stay beyond their visa is a huge risk that could lead to an even longer period of separation. If you're not ready to get married now and decide to go the K-1 route, then she will have to go home before her visa expires. Any plans for a holiday wedding, etc. would likely be off the table at this point as well.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

I am, yes. I just want to make sure she is and isn't rushing into things. I feel like I can get a better gauge of things in a few more months. We see each other quite often, 4x a week, but it's just that things are still fresh, ya know?

I did have another question from my thread. I was reading some old threads on this site via google search and am starting to become confused. Is a k1 visa even needed if she is expired or can we wait til the end of the year, take our time and get married. That would only be another 5 months or are those 5 months gonna hurt her chances of remaining here?

I guess ideally i would want us to get married somewhere around the end of the year, but the main question is will prolonging it hurt our chances down the road since technically she will be illegal in a month.

Obviously, her and I still have much to discuss and I appreciate everyones candid advice. Thanks again!

In terms of planning, I'd plan on 8-9 months for a K-1 end to end, given an extra month for buffer. I have not seen that many cases (though it does happen) than a K-1 is in hand in 6 months or less. Thus if end of the year is your line in the sand, the K-1 might not be your ideal. An alternative is to marry (rush and all that), she would then stil return to country and you file CR-1, average 1 year time processing. Advantage: when she comes, she gets GC at entry, Disadvantage: 1 year and the rush to marry. Technically you could marry and file while she is here (which I'm not advising and most here would be in same page), but it could give you headaches down the road and as I said in anothe rpost, could be suspicious in the eyes of USCIS

[Strycek 7]

Thanks! Yeah sounds like you were in a similar situation. I'm not too concerned with being away for a short period of time (3 months or so would be my max I can tolerate). I can travel a lot due to a flexible job and a million travel miles, so I can always visit her once a month back in the Ukraine. I'm glad to here of another person's situation working out well. Ideally, I'd like to wait to the end of the year to get married, maybe around the holidays so we can have close family and friends attend rather than go to city hall or even Vegas haha. Do you have any knowledge if waiting a few months will hurt her chances to remain in the US? She officially expires in July, so it's either take a leap of faith and get married before then or wait 5 months and fill out papers right away soon after. This is the route I want to go personally but not at the risk of us losing each other. Good luck to you too, hope the marriage works out!

If you choose to wait, make sure she leaves before her authorized stay expires, otherwise she could get banned I believe. Again, I have no knowledge of the K1 process, but it seems from reading the timelines here that they take several months or longer. That's nice that you have the flexibility to travel and an abundance of airline miles. I didn't really have those things at my disposal. Another poster said they could scrutinize your case more if you guys got married more quickly than if she went back, and you went the K1 route. I suppose we may be in the same boat, but there's no way of knowing until we actually have our interview. I'm not really worried about it though because we love each other, and our marriage is genuine. They can scrutinize all they want as far as I'm concerned.

[dave97232 12]

I don't know much about the J1 visa or that "212e law" that would let her stay well past the expiration, so take my advice as that.

When applying through the K1 petition/visa process, the big question they have, obviously, is if you and her intentions are legitimate. Is this a "real" engagement or a sham? Will she not marry you and overstay her visa, entering the country illegally? I would think that is she had already been in the U.S., and overstayed that visa, it would not look very good and she will have some tough questions in her interview. Maybe that "212e law" will help, but, still, I assume it will not look good for her.

On the other hand, if they see that she did return back to Ukraine when her visa expired, then she already passed a test. In their eyes, it will be less likely that she will overstay the K1 visa and be in the U.S. illegally. I think that would put the two of you in a better position than typical K1 applicants that have not been to the U.S. before.

I am sure other people on this forum have more expertise, but those are just my thoughts.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

If you care about her, I don't think you would suggest that she stay here illegally on the promise that you will fix it later. What if you broke up? Then any future plans she had of visiting down the road would be dashed. Wait out the month, see what happens, then decide. If still not ready for marriage then, file the K-1 and visit a lot She'll be back before you know it.

[UkraineSF 0]

I don't know much about the J1 visa or that "212e law" that would let her stay well past the expiration, so take my advice as that.

When applying through the K1 petition/visa process, the big question they have, obviously, is if you and her intentions are legitimate. Is this a "real" engagement or a sham? Will she not marry you and overstay her visa, entering the country illegally? I would think that is she had already been in the U.S., and overstayed that visa, it would not look very good and she will have some tough questions in her interview. Maybe that "212e law" will help, but, still, I assume it will not look good for her.

On the other hand, if they see that she did return back to Ukraine when her visa expired, then she already passed a test. In their eyes, it will be less likely that she will overstay the K1 visa and be in the U.S. illegally. I think that would put the two of you in a better position than typical K1 applicants that have not been to the U.S. before.

I am sure other people on this forum have more expertise, but those are just my thoughts.

Thanks for the input. Makes sense. Do things by the books when her visa expires next month. She came here legally 2 years ago, it's just the program she is in expires shortly. We are just worried that she won't be allowed back into the US even if we do things by the book and look good for the USCIS. What you said makes sense though. The "212e" doesn't really apply to us. Some j1 visa's have that checked, which basically means after their visa expires, they have to remain in their home country for 2 years before they can come back to the US, at least that's my understanding of it, but that point is moot since she is off the hook for that. Thanks for the response again!