Birth Control

[Adriene H 89]

And mostly ... I'm just plain scared!

My husband has told me several times that women

don't need to see a doctor when they're pregnant,

they don't need epidurals during labor, and don't

need to give birth in hospitals.

It's more than a little daunting!

[Tommy and Maria 4]

wow, this is remarkable, pregnancy is not a disease that is in dire need of prevention. True the reason i have abstained is because me and my wife are separated at the moment(country to country i mean). I would be lying if i didn't say that my morals are the primary reason for this belief contrary to birth control. Although was can easily cut someone down on this site and never have to look the person they are saying it to in the eyes, right is right even if nobody is doing it. I am not forcing you to believe what i write but you asked for an opinion and that is why I am offering another method. Natural family planning when done correctly is 99 percent accurate, condoms break, and those who say "use the back door" are pretty much calling you an object. You are not an object to simply be objectified you are worth a lot more, more than what others have basically assumed you are. I'm being sincere, not a fanatic. The proof is in the posts, look at all the negative posts directed toward what i said. If you sincerely sit down and think about it, it's not that crazy of a statement.

Wow! LOL Seriously though its not about having sex or not having sex, its about protecting yourself from getting pregnant. You shouldn't be the only one trying to prevent it, he should be doing something too -- like wearing a condom!!!

[Adriene H 89]

wow, this is remarkable, pregnancy is not a disease that is in dire need of prevention. True the reason i have abstained is because me and my wife are separated at the moment(country to country i mean). I would be lying if i didn't say that my morals are the primary reason for this belief contrary to birth control. Although was can easily cut someone down on this site and never have to look the person they are saying it to in the eyes, right is right even if nobody is doing it. I am not forcing you to believe what i write but you asked for an opinion and that is why I am offering another method. Natural family planning when done correctly is 99 percent accurate, condoms break, and those who say "use the back door" are pretty much calling you an object. You are not an object to simply be objectified you are worth a lot more, more than what others have basically assumed you are. I'm being sincere, not a fanatic. The proof is in the posts, look at all the negative posts directed toward what i said. If you sincerely sit down and think about it, it's not that crazy of a statement.

I don't think any post on here has been crazy. Not one bit!

Some have been extremely helpful and others humorous (cheered

me up a bit and helped me not to focus on the negative for a

few moments at least).

I know pregnancy's not a disease, but it does seem a bit

overwhelming. I've never had kids before! I just want some

peace of mind on whatever we method we reach a compromise

on until we're in a better situation to focus on raising

another human rather than worrying where our next meal

is going to come from or what the kid's eating off our

floor

[Iyawo Ijebu 157]

wow, this is remarkable, pregnancy is not a disease that is in dire need of prevention. True the reason i have abstained is because me and my wife are separated at the moment(country to country i mean). I would be lying if i didn't say that my morals are the primary reason for this belief contrary to birth control. Although was can easily cut someone down on this site and never have to look the person they are saying it to in the eyes, right is right even if nobody is doing it. I am not forcing you to believe what i write but you asked for an opinion and that is why I am offering another method. Natural family planning when done correctly is 99 percent accurate, condoms break, and those who say "use the back door" are pretty much calling you an object. You are not an object to simply be objectified you are worth a lot more, more than what others have basically assumed you are. I'm being sincere, not a fanatic. The proof is in the posts, look at all the negative posts directed toward what i said. If you sincerely sit down and think about it, it's not that crazy of a statement.

So Tommy I take it that Maria reads this site then?

It's okay Bro, it's all good.

[Tommy and Maria 4]

No, i hear ya! you have been so polite! I agree it is overwhelming as you would know! Well i'm glad you appreciate my post

I don't think any post on here has been crazy. Not one bit!

Some have been extremely helpful and others humorous (cheered

me up a bit and helped me not to focus on the negative for a

few moments at least).

I know pregnancy's not a disease, but it does seem a bit

overwhelming. I've never had kids before! I just want some

peace of mind on whatever we method we reach a compromise

on until we're in a better situation to focus on raising

another human rather than worrying where our next meal

is going to come from or what the kid's eating off our

floor

[Adriene H 89]

No, i hear ya! you have been so polite! I agree it is overwhelming as you would know! Well i'm glad you appreciate my post

I'm not always polite ... you got lucky this time

[Tommy and Maria 4]

and i understand with the eating off the floor thing, i never understood it until i met my wife(not that she eats off the floor but her family comes from deep monetary poverty). I am blessed that I was able to grow up and not worry about those things, she on the other hand is extremely poor, well at least her family is, 15 brothers and sisters, but they could not be happier.That's why mother Theresa called America the poorest of the poor,and i tend to agree with her, simply because many people come here to find "the American Dream" money, fame, jobs galore, but love always seems to be the hardest thing to come by.I love america don't get me wrong but It changed my life when i was living with them. I guess i just try and see things in a different light. I have a lot of family too, and even if you have no money, i promise you this, you will never be lonely as i am not.

No, i hear ya! you have been so polite! I agree it is overwhelming as you would know! Well i'm glad you appreciate my post

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

Things I have learned on VJ:

Periodic abstinence gives you orgasms

"Back door" sex is objectification of the female partner

Seriously though, Tommy, I respect that NFP works for you because of your religious beliefs about contraception and because you and your wife are currently apart. And NFP can be highly effective but a woman needs to be 100% committed to observing changes in her body. I've tried it and got fed up with it.

Adriene, what your husband said is absolute rubbish about pre-natal care. It's not only rubbish, it's dangerous rubbish. Some women can give birth outside of hospital and without epidurals, but that needs to be an informed decision. Is your husband an OB-GYN now too? It's YOUR body, not his, that would be going through pregnancy. I hate saying this, but no 36-year-old man who purports to love and respect his wife would be saying things like that to you. Coupled with his refusal to use condoms and his insistence that intelligent people don't tidy, it sounds like you already have a child at home.

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

And mostly ... I'm just plain scared!

My husband has told me several times that women

don't need to see a doctor when they're pregnant,

they don't need epidurals during labor, and don't

need to give birth in hospitals.

It's more than a little daunting!

This is some kind of joke? Is this the same husband who likely believes that the stork delivers babies? Seriously, did he tell you that you couldn't become pregnant because he wouldn't allow it? He wins my insenstive cavemen of the year award, just wow!

Things I have learned on VJ:

Periodic abstinence gives you orgasms

"Back door" sex is objectification of the female partner

I had no idea, I guess you learn something new every day.

[Adriene H 89]

This is some kind of joke? Is this the same husband who likely believes that the stork delivers babies? Seriously, did he tell you that you couldn't become pregnant because he wouldn't allow it? He wins my insenstive cavemen of the year award, just wow!

I was pretty amazed myself when he shared his views with me

and even more adament to not risk unprotected sex until

I have some peace of mind that if the need arose, I'd be

able to see a doctor or treated at a hospital.

I know he's entitled to his ideas and opinions, but given

his stance ... I'm not going to jeopardize my health or

safety. It's my body, and if something were to go wrong

(I'm not a spring chicken!), then it's my life on the line

(and possibly another but at the moment, not).

Maybe this is selfish or insane .. he always says I'm crazy

when I bring stuff like this up ... but actually, I feel

like I'm being rational and respnsible.

Edited May 29, 2012 by Adriene H

[spookyturtle 9,465]

Lately ... when he's starting to get in the mood, and I make

a move or mention of condoms ... he just turns it down altogether

He just turned 36 and the last time I saw a reaction similar to his

from a guy, I think I was like 20. Baffles me ...

He sounds like a self centered, chauvinistic douche bag. Get out while you can.

[Holly2234 66]

And mostly ... I'm just plain scared!

My husband has told me several times that women

don't need to see a doctor when they're pregnant,

they don't need epidurals during labor, and don't

need to give birth in hospitals.

It's more than a little daunting!

That wasnt the best advice he gave there! You do need prenatal care! What if you got pre-eclampsia and it got too far? The result of that, quite plainly, is death! So the best thing to do would be wait until you can have medical care (as you have already decided to do)

Yes women can give birth without epidurals, i did. But why do that if you dont want to?

And even if you do give birth at home, you still need a midwife present, who is going to cut the cord? Deliver the baby? Deliver the placenta or organise a blood transfusion or stitches should you need that. You already know all that though hence you taking the contraceptive route

The free family planning places are good. Often a long wait but worth it so you dont get into a compromising situation

[Dan and Judy 614]

I was pretty amazed myself when he shared his views with me

were these views shared before or after you got married?

[Dan and Judy 614]

those who say "use the back door" are pretty much calling you an object.

I Object!!!!

[Adriene H 89]

were these views shared before or after you got married?

After ... I jumped into things a little too quickly me thinks

But that won't stop me from trying to act responsibly now.