Cheating wife

[VinceN 25]

even if this is true i say let it be. if you really care for her ignore all that. I mean she is about to leave vietnam permanently and be with you and then you can shower her with love. I don't know how young or impressionable the young lady is but if she is from small village and she moved to busy area its easy for these things to happen. I mean you are not there every day... once she comes over here you will be there for her. worse case she will leave you when she comes but if you love her isn't it worth a try?? once she is here you can really make a proper effort to save your marriage.

Tell me you're not serious?!!!! There's so much more I can say to this post but I just had a half bottle of wine so I think it's best I hold my tongue.

Edited April 8, 2012 by VinceN

[hniHnitsuJ 8]

even if this is true i say let it be. if you really care for her ignore all that. I mean she is about to leave vietnam permanently and be with you and then you can shower her with love. I don't know how young or impressionable the young lady is but if she is from small village and she moved to busy area its easy for these things to happen. I mean you are not there every day... once she comes over here you will be there for her. worse case she will leave you when she comes but if you love her isn't it worth a try?? once she is here you can really make a proper effort to save your marriage.

This must be a JOKE for ALL VK, and ALL the husbands and wifes outhere...

[hniHnitsuJ 8]

I just found out from my cousins in Vietnam that my wife has been cheating on me. She passed her interview on march 1 and has her visa in hand. Question is how do I cancel the process now if she doesn't come here within the six months period does it cancel by itself. I really don't want her to come here now because once a cheater always a cheater.

First off, I am so sorry about hearing this....

This is my advices for the OP.....

1. IF you ready have the feeling that your wife is cheating on you about the pics from your cousins... DON'T DO ANYTHING... THINK BEFORE YOU ACTS.. if you decide to fly back to VN. Pretend nothing going on ... don't let her know you are coming back to VN.

- You can hire an investigation, or XE OM to follow her, or where she lives. They will video, and photos everything for you (even in the hotel).. for less than $500 bucks... (Make sure you ask your family members from VN to do it, not under your name)

2. You can find out from your cousin pic is real or not.. under his/her cellular phone.. date/time.. if you know how to hack it... or using 3 rd party software....

3. IF this is real.... she is cheating on you.... you have to be very very very careful while you are in VN with her, or her b/f, or with her family.. STAY AWAY FROM THEM.. if you know what I mean...

4. Last, you have to know how to approach to her family. IF you decide to show her parents about her cheating video.. or photos... OR.. you are planning not to say a words and divorce her...

Whatever you decision is.. we ALL VJ family in here.. we will support you and listen to you..

Remember... DAN CHOI KO SO MUA ROI... CHI SO CON ROI... (J/K)

good luck bro....

[tan&tuyet 15]

even if this is true i say let it be. if you really care for her ignore all that. I mean she is about to leave vietnam permanently and be with you and then you can shower her with love. I don't know how young or impressionable the young lady is but if she is from small village and she moved to busy area its easy for these things to happen. I mean you are not there every day... once she comes over here you will be there for her. worse case she will leave you when she comes but if you love her isn't it worth a try?? once she is here you can really make a proper effort to save your marriage.

This post made me laugh. Let me ask this poster something. What if your SO cheats on you would you forgive them? By not me being there is NOT an excuse to cheat. If she comes here and cheats and leaves me I am still reponsible for her until she gets her citizenship or she dies.

[tan&tuyet 15]

I was just talking with my wife about this. She also suggested that the pics might have been photoshopped, but I told her that you had concluded they were not. I asked my wife if it was possible she was just saying goodbye to an old friend (maybe one who had been very close). My wife said absolutely not. Friends, no matter how close, do not get that intimate in public in Vietnam. Even most genuine couples don't go beyond holding hands or embracing briefly. My step-daughter (who is 19) agreed. She said if they were kissing in a cafe then they're doing a helluva lot more when they're in private.

One of the problems with going to Vietnam with the photos is that she's going to deny them, or say her cousin has a vendetta and the photos are either altered or being misconstrued. In other words, she'll probably lie. My wife suggested you might consider evidence from an unbiased third party such as a private detective. There are hundreds of such detective agencies on the internet, but don't hire them over the internet. Many will take your money and then not lift a finger to investigate anything. You can contact them via their website, but don't hire them until you meet them in person in Vietnam.

Remember that you can withdraw the petition and pull the affidavit of support before she comes to the US, and that will cancel her visa. Don't let her catch wind of this. Once she gets on the plane then there's not much you can do.

Thanks jim for the advice I will take it into consideration.

[tan&tuyet 15]

I never said I was going to just end the relationship I said I needed more time to straigten this mess out.

Edited April 8, 2012 by tan&tuyet

[aaydrian 479]

Tell me you're not serious?!!!! There's so much more I can say to this post but I just had a half bottle of wine so I think it's best I hold my tongue.

What is quoted below was done under half a bottle of wine.

even if this is true i say let it be. if you really care for her ignore all that. I mean she is about to leave vietnam permanently and be with you and then you can shower her with love. I don't know how young or impressionable the young lady is but if she is from small village and she moved to busy area its easy for these things to happen. I mean you are not there every day... once she comes over here you will be there for her. worse case she will leave you when she comes but if you love her isn't it worth a try?? once she is here you can really make a proper effort to save your marriage.

OP you need an unaffiliated 3rd party involved so the confrontation (if it happens) doesn't become he said she said but the camera says. Also as Jim said, since it's unusual to show so much display of affection in public then you wife must really be digging this person to do what she did.

[Dan_P 5]

I agree with Jim, kissing in public is not the norm for people in Vietnam, even couples. I have never even seen it happen. I have seen people holding hands or a brief hug, but that's it.

[luckytxn 2,263]

I agree with Jim, kissing in public is not the norm for people in Vietnam, even couples. I have never even seen it happen. I have seen people holding hands or a brief hug, but that's it.

Kissing another man on the mouth passionately when one is married to another is cheating. The options are limited. To take her back is showing forgiveness. Giving someone a second chance is hard to do with the ultimate betrayal. I have forgiven a few in my life. He just has to figure if she is worth the chance to be forgiven. It is a tough choice to make.

[luckytxn 2,263]

Why were your cousins running around spying on her?

[tan&tuyet 15]

Why were your cousins running around spying on her?

They weren't spying on her they were at a restuarant nearby and saw her and saw them kissing and snap some pics. She didn't see them taking the pics.

[luckytxn 2,263]

They weren't spying on her they were at a restuarant nearby and saw her and saw them kissing and snap some pics. She didn't see them taking the pics.

Thought you told me that you had pics of her in different areas on different days. Apologize.

[rade2rising 205]

listen all i am saying is if this woman is the ONE for you then you will try everything before giving up right?? just because she kissed somebody you will just quit on her??

I guess what i didn't realize is that its a simple matter for you to dump her and marry another girl. If this marriage is just a convenience and you have nothing invested then by all means leave her already dont waste time thinking.

[VinceN 25]

listen all i am saying is if this woman is the ONE for you then you will try everything before giving up right??

Ok you listen, when this woman decided to do what she did, she is no longer the ONE.

just because she kissed somebody you will just quit on her??

If she kissed somebody in public in a very conservative culture such as that of VN, I'm pretty sure they have done a lot more than that behind closed doors.

So you are saying that if you were to walk in on your wife swallowing dude's face, not only you would be ok with that but you will bring her home, shower her with love to save the marriage?

Marriages are based heavily on "love" and "respect", when one decides to be unfaithful there's no longer any "love" nor "respect", and that would render the marriage meaningless in this particular case.

Edited April 10, 2012 by VinceN

[tcTTct 37]

Ok you listen, when this woman decided to do what she did, she is no longer the ONE.

If she kissed somebody in public in a very conservative culture such as that of VN, I'm pretty sure they have done a lot more than that behind closed doors.

So you are saying that if you were to walk in on your wife swallowing dude's face, not only you would be ok with that but you will bring her home, shower her with love to save the marriage?

Marriages are based heavily on "love" and "respect", when one decides to be unfaithful there's no longer any "love" nor "respect", and that would render the marriage meaningless in this particular case.

Word.