need all the advice possible

[bombay 0]

Hi friends,

I need some real good advice from you guys.my case is now at the embassy and i will have to go to get a date for the interview soon.

In my case im the benifeciary and my wife is the usc.

after some months of dating my love had come to visit me in oman and we could not stay without each other and wanted to get married so i went to usa and got married to her.we were engaged in oman before i went to america and her parents were very happy about it.

we then fixed a date to got married having a simple civil marriage with her friends as witnesses.

but her parents dont know we are already married.the reason we didnt want to tell them is my wife and i were not ready for an expensive reception and also we didnt have time to arrange for it cause i went to usa within a month after she left oman.

her parents love me and always talk about our marriage plans whenever we talk.the main reason why we didnt tell het parents is that it would break their heart if they knew we got married or wanted to get married in such a simple way without a proper reception and a ceremony as she is their only daughter.

till this date they dont know we are married,and my wife still feels it will hurt them if we told them we are already married and she will not have HER DAY if you know what i mean the dream marriage day.

Do u think its ok to tell the immigration officer that her parents dont know we are married explaining them our reason or they will not accept this and reject me.

Or i make my wife tell her parents that we are married and explain them why we did this.

dear friends i really need ur help on this what to do

please advice im going crazy and

best regards

bombay.

[Daniellecc 0]

Hi...

I could not be reading well what you arote, but, I don't understand why would teh in laws find out, I mean, what does yoru interview or your process have to do with your inlaws... you don't have to tell inmigration that your inlwas don't know, you got married in a simple way becasue that is what you coudl afford at the time, anyways... I coudl be wrong but I don't see where the whole inmigration, in law problem is, as I said I coudl be wrong, I just don't see teh conection, unless your inlaws are going to be sponsors in your process then they don't have to find out and once you get your visa and have a set date for you traveling there then, you just announce it as if you were getting married for the first time... I had some friends she is from US and he is from teh UK, hey had only known each other for a little bit when they decided to get married so he came into the US with a fiancee visa, they got married in Vegas without anyone knowing and 6 months later they had their dream wedding, they have been married for about 8 years and their families have never found out that they got married in Vegas before they did the actual wedding... but I could be totally wrong and not seing tehg picture correctly.... anyways, good luck!

[Ken_Maria 0]

Hi friends,

I need some real good advice from you guys.my case is now at the embassy and i will have to go to get a date for the interview soon.

In my case im the benifeciary and my wife is the usc.

after some months of dating my love had come to visit me in oman and we could not stay without each other and wanted to get married so i went to usa and got married to her.we were engaged in oman before i went to america and her parents were very happy about it.

we then fixed a date to got married having a simple civil marriage with her friends as witnesses.

but her parents dont know we are already married.the reason we didnt want to tell them is my wife and i were not ready for an expensive reception and also we didnt have time to arrange for it cause i went to usa within a month after she left oman.

her parents love me and always talk about our marriage plans whenever we talk.the main reason why we didnt tell het parents is that it would break their heart if they knew we got married or wanted to get married in such a simple way without a proper reception and a ceremony as she is their only daughter.

till this date they dont know we are married,and my wife still feels it will hurt them if we told them we are already married and she will not have HER DAY if you know what i mean the dream marriage day.

Do u think its ok to tell the immigration officer that her parents dont know we are married explaining them our reason or they will not accept this and reject me.

Or i make my wife tell her parents that we are married and explain them why we did this.

dear friends i really need ur help on this what to do

please advice im going crazy and

best regards

bombay.

If you got married in the U.S., why didnt you just stay and apply for AOS? I assume you are applying for a K3 and not a K1? Parents can be more understanding than you think and you should not start hiding things from you future in-laws now. JMHO, Payato

[bombay 0]

Hi

thanks for ur advice

about not applying for AOS is that we had both decided to stay in oman instead of usa for some years but then that was not possible as my wife couldnt leave due to some responsiblities.

anyway the only problem i feel i will have is in the marriage pics its juat both of us and her friend no family member thats whats the problem.im sure the immigration officer will ask why no family.

thats my problem what to say.

Hi friends,

I need some real good advice from you guys.my case is now at the embassy and i will have to go to get a date for the interview soon.

In my case im the benifeciary and my wife is the usc.

after some months of dating my love had come to visit me in oman and we could not stay without each other and wanted to get married so i went to usa and got married to her.we were engaged in oman before i went to america and her parents were very happy about it.

we then fixed a date to got married having a simple civil marriage with her friends as witnesses.

but her parents dont know we are already married.the reason we didnt want to tell them is my wife and i were not ready for an expensive reception and also we didnt have time to arrange for it cause i went to usa within a month after she left oman.

her parents love me and always talk about our marriage plans whenever we talk.the main reason why we didnt tell het parents is that it would break their heart if they knew we got married or wanted to get married in such a simple way without a proper reception and a ceremony as she is their only daughter.

till this date they dont know we are married,and my wife still feels it will hurt them if we told them we are already married and she will not have HER DAY if you know what i mean the dream marriage day.

Do u think its ok to tell the immigration officer that her parents dont know we are married explaining them our reason or they will not accept this and reject me.

Or i make my wife tell her parents that we are married and explain them why we did this.

dear friends i really need ur help on this what to do

please advice im going crazy and

best regards

bombay.

If you got married in the U.S., why didnt you just stay and apply for AOS? I assume you are applying for a K3 and not a K1? Parents can be more understanding than you think and you should not start hiding things from you future in-laws now. JMHO, Payato

[amalitta 0]

Hi

thanks for ur advice

about not applying for AOS is that we had both decided to stay in oman instead of usa for some years but then that was not possible as my wife couldnt leave due to some responsiblities.

anyway the only problem i feel i will have is in the marriage pics its juat both of us and her friend no family member thats whats the problem.im sure the immigration officer will ask why no family.

thats my problem what to say.

Hi friends,

I need some real good advice from you guys.my case is now at the embassy and i will have to go to get a date for the interview soon.

In my case im the benifeciary and my wife is the usc.

after some months of dating my love had come to visit me in oman and we could not stay without each other and wanted to get married so i went to usa and got married to her.we were engaged in oman before i went to america and her parents were very happy about it.

we then fixed a date to got married having a simple civil marriage with her friends as witnesses.

but her parents dont know we are already married.the reason we didnt want to tell them is my wife and i were not ready for an expensive reception and also we didnt have time to arrange for it cause i went to usa within a month after she left oman.

her parents love me and always talk about our marriage plans whenever we talk.the main reason why we didnt tell het parents is that it would break their heart if they knew we got married or wanted to get married in such a simple way without a proper reception and a ceremony as she is their only daughter.

till this date they dont know we are married,and my wife still feels it will hurt them if we told them we are already married and she will not have HER DAY if you know what i mean the dream marriage day.

Do u think its ok to tell the immigration officer that her parents dont know we are married explaining them our reason or they will not accept this and reject me.

Or i make my wife tell her parents that we are married and explain them why we did this.

dear friends i really need ur help on this what to do

please advice im going crazy and

best regards

bombay.

If you got married in the U.S., why didnt you just stay and apply for AOS? I assume you are applying for a K3 and not a K1? Parents can be more understanding than you think and you should not start hiding things from you future in-laws now. JMHO, Payato

Hi there..

My opinion is that u should go ahead and let them know exactely the truth ...they are her parents ..let her talk to them ...i know it is not easy, but a lie always leads to another lie and i am sure deep inside u dont really want that !..U are already feeling guilty..why complicate things?

Trust me, her "Big day " wont be as big as u all want to be ..knowing that there is always this lie behind!

I might be wrong but thats how i see u solved TWO things at once!

[sjoefl01 1]

If the interviewer asks about her parents tell them the truth. They probably wont care and may not even ask.

As for her parents, I think they are her problem. You should encourage her to tell them but the decision about that is between them. Don't insult them by telling everybody in the world except them. This is a tough secret to keep. Of course, we here at VJ don't know her parents but I would think it might not be as crushing to them as your wife thinks. Who knows, they might be relieved that they don't have to spend the cash for a giant wedding.

[a&o 4]

You are both adults and have a right to get married regardless of what anyone else thinks or wants, including parents.

If the immigration officer asks, just tell him/her that the parents are not involved in your decisions. You should not have to go into detail unless you want to, but I would just keep it simple. It is not a legal requirement that parents are informed or in agreement with anything you do.

[vicki/bala 0]

My fiance is from India, and the biggest reason our petition was sent back to the states , is because my fiance kept our relationship a secret from his family.... It is a very big deal in India. Even Bala was questioned as to why he didnt tell his neighbors about it. So to say its not going to be an issue may be wrong. I know first that it can be a big deal.

The strange thing is on the day of Balas interview he told the CO that his family knew nothing. The CO called me at my home interviewed me for nearly 30 mins. He asked me if Bala's family knew of our relationship and I told him no, when he asked why I told him truthfully, "His family would not approve, but we are both adults, we can choose to love whomever we want." Still they made a big issue out of us keeping it secret. And took it one step further, they even threatened to go to his family and neighbors and tell them everything...

Good Luck!

Vicki/bala

Edited October 9, 2006 by vicki/bala

[desert_fox 32]

One thing about being an adult is that you can make yur own decisions without caring what other people think, and without the need of lying about it.

[vicki/bala 0]

Thats so true, but you have to remember different lands, different cultures. My Fiance lived in a joint family, youngest one, with the eldest bro being fully in charge. There were two consequences to them finding out. One he was in danger of being disowned by his family and two the family status (which if you know anything about India is everything to them ) was jeopordized. So its not so easy for them. Your absolutely right... we are both adults and if we want to marry without telling anyone its our business.. but tell that to some of the CO's running our embassys they seem to think its a mortal sin, and a sure sign that your a fraud..

Vicki/Bala

[bombay 0]

Thanks a lot guys for the great advice u gave me.

god bless you all

bombay.