Weight

[ya falaha! 0]

All the weight I've lost was for me. I was uncomfortable being heavy. I didn't feel good about myself. No one ever was negative to me about it. I just had enough of being heavy and did something about it. I have so much more confidence in myself now. Like I've said before I'd like to lose another 20lbs. That is for me. I don't want to be rail thin. I like my curves. I also like being healthy and being obese was not healthy.

My sister, Dalia, just got engaged last month. When I called to congratulate her she said...Kara you should have seen me in my dress..I was soooo FAT!! And she laughed. JP is right...Arabs talk about weight like it's nothing. They tease each other and joke about it and no one gets their feelings hurt. My husband tells Dalia she looks like a ball and she laughs. She knows he's only joking and doesn't intend to hurt her.

He doesn't say anything to me and I would not be happy if he did. It doesnt matter if you need to lose 5, 10, 20, or 100 lbs. You should do it for yourself and he should accept you for who you are. If he loses his hair, I'm not going to tell him to go get a hair transplant. I'm not rail thin either, but I my dress within in the normal size ranges of womens clothing. I have lost weight, but thats because I want to and he doesnt even notice nor do I mention it to him.

It's totally normal for people from the Middle East to comment on each others weight when they have not seen them in a long time. Now when I finally reunite, he will either tell me, you lost weight, or you gained weight. Its not an insult, its just normal there. I hear that ####### all the time and I'm used to it, luckily its always going in the other direction (losing) lol. Its not even uncommon to hear Arabs discussing how much they weigh for like 1 hour, lol

[Mrs. Forgetful 2]

My SILs are all heavy except one. She's not heavy but not really thin either..she's about my size. When I won't eat much in Egypt they all get on me to eat, eat. They ask if I'm watching my weight and when I say yes they said, why? you're not fat. Maybe not to them but to myself I am. My MIL will get on my sisters about their weight. Once I bought a box of Cadbury chocolates for everyone and when my one sister went to take one my mom said...do you really need that? I felt bad for her

All my SILs are skinny and my MIL is shorter and a tiny bit more plump than I am. When my MIL was here she would make me eat a lot when it came to meals, but when I was actually hungry during the day she would scold me for wanting to eat! She saw my pics from HS and said I need to look like that again. She wants me to look like that by time we go to Morocco so Adil has someone skinny and pretty to show off I guess. Not eating shuts me down, and I kept telling her and telling her, but she doesn't listen! Oh well! Hopefully I will surprise her when we go to Morocco when I look 30 lbs lighter. < wishful thinking >

[morocco4ever 63]

All but 2 of my SIL are larger than me, 1 is my size, the other is a little bit thinner. My MIL is very heavy, and I worry about her health. The one thing is that I tower over them, and just about all of the women there. I think this is so weird because here in the US I am just an average height, almost 5'8".

I don't think the Moroccan women are particularly thin, just average size for their height really. Funny thing though, I have a large bone structure, but from what I can see, almost all of my SIL's bone structures are even larger than mine. My feet are skinnier, my arms are skinnier, pretty much all over except the legs.

One thing I am grateful for, what I consider my worst feature (my legs) is the one thing that my husband adores. Even if I lost weight I would simply look like a gaunt woman with large legs, so I am happy that my husband enjoys what Allah gave me.

[Yasi 0]

First time I saw him I had lost over 15 pounds... Second time I gained some of that back because I started going back to school and my eating habit started to get bad again. Third time I gained all of that plus a couple more pounds....

My problem is my tummy... I gain weight all over but majority goes into my tummy... Real hassle and problem since I was very young...

He tells me first time that I was skinny...the second time he told me I gained some and the third time he asked me what happened... so he is been bugging me to exercise... He says it's just my tummy... the poor guy is blind (by my tummy ) and doesn't see the other problem areas....

Now every once in a while he asks me are u exercising? Do you go to the gym? And I refuse to tell him that I'm... just want to surprise him...

I'm the unlucky one in my family... I took after my dad's family not even him, his family... because most of them have tummy problem... my dad had a flat tummy... My older sister took after him... My sisters are size 2 and 4... I'm size 12... My SILs are both skinny... He doesn't have a sister, but I know his mom is very heavy... I don't know about his 2 SILs...

I do agree if one wants to lose weight one should do it for herself/himself... I want to lose weight because I don't like how I look in clothes...whatever I buy first think I worry about if my tummy is sticking out. I want to look good first for myself then it's a big bonus to look good for him too.

Unlike me, he is fit because he loves to excercise... but then if he doesn't he ends up with a tummy too... ha ha ha... imagine if we have a child... poor baby....

[Fandango 1,439]

I'm going to be the lone voice of dissent and post an opposing viewpoint. I don't mind at all...and actually encourage...comments about my physique. Why SHOULDN'T my D feel comfortable enough with me to tell me what's on his mind? If he thinks 'oh her butt has gotten bigger' well then why should I set parameters on what he should and should not share with me?

Now I am not saying he shouldn't love me no matter what, but what I am saying is that there's nothing wrong with stating the obvious. I can go work out 3 hours a day at the gym...for what? For it not to matter to him? I say no. Yes I work ou for me, but at the end of the day, he is my life partner...and I'll tell you what. I am not down with having a fat husband. Having a good physique is important...you don't need to be all rippled, but you should be fit. And if he was starting to go down a path of excess, I'd point it out to him so that he is aware of it. Yes I love him no matter what, but the simple truth is I would not be happy if he weighed 400 pounds and kept eating.

Though with a language barrier, I can understand how things sometimes don't come out as intended & they have the capability to wound. I don't think those are meant in the way they come across....

[CarolineM 0]

I'm with you Lisa...I wish Stewart WOULD make comments about my weight. Sadly, he means it when he says i'm fine just the way I am. I wish he'd say something...

might help motivate me

[doodlebug 3]

I'm going to be the lone voice of dissent and post an opposing viewpoint. I don't mind at all...and actually encourage...comments about my physique. Why SHOULDN'T my D feel comfortable enough with me to tell me what's on his mind? If he thinks 'oh her butt has gotten bigger' well then why should I set parameters on what he should and should not share with me?

Now I am not saying he shouldn't love me no matter what, but what I am saying is that there's nothing wrong with stating the obvious. I can go work out 3 hours a day at the gym...for what? For it not to matter to him? I say no. Yes I work ou for me, but at the end of the day, he is my life partner...and I'll tell you what. I am not down with having a fat husband. Having a good physique is important...you don't need to be all rippled, but you should be fit. And if he was starting to go down a path of excess, I'd point it out to him so that he is aware of it. Yes I love him no matter what, but the simple truth is I would not be happy if he weighed 400 pounds and kept eating.

Though with a language barrier, I can understand how things sometimes don't come out as intended & they have the capability to wound. I don't think those are meant in the way they come across....

I used to feel the same way when I was in my twenties and had no kids. Two kids and twenty years later though, it's impossible to work out 3 hours a day. It's impossible to go to a gym at all as a matter of fact since I work full time and am a single mom. Couple that with Lupus and it's just darn hard to lose weight for me. I struggle constantly and I think that is where the problem is. If it were easy to lose it it wouldn't matter but it isn't and that is why the comment hurt a bit. Truth be told though, he had NO IDEA of the reaction he'd get and has apologized profusely since then and even brought a friend of his online last night to tell me how sorry he is. lol.

Edited October 2, 2006 by doodlebug