reputation

[az110965 252]

He needs to get with the program. You should be number one in his eyes and book. It is not easy doing this, if he is not behind you 100% ca;ll it a day. Take care of number one "you". Sorry, real sorry to hear this. You see from the responses here, VJ members have deep felings for the process respect of your spouse or future spouse and what it means.

Good response Dog...

And you're right. Fresy's happiness means the world to me and I'd choose her over any "friend" who didn't support my decision to marry her.

Even though it may be difficult for the petitioner due to his geographical location, he owes it to his fiance to acknowledge her and be proud of her.

[MikelanNida 28]

If the first wife would have been an American woman would it seem bad to ever marry another American?

[az110965 252]

Hmmm... i need to get Jenni a VJ account... it could save hours of skype conversations

Hey Dan...

How do you know Jenni doesn't already have one?

If the first wife would have been an American woman would it seem bad to ever marry another American?

[Austramerican 83]

If the first wife would have been an American woman would it seem bad to ever marry another American?

I met my first bf on the internet and he was horrible and so when I met Ben on the internet AT FIRST my family was like OH GREAT NOT ANOTHER until they MET HIM IN PERSON. So I think he's trying to think of whats best for HER, some guys do that you know! This process is enough trouble without a shitload of drama from everyone he knows don't you think? Just saying~

Though it does sound like they need a heart to heart BADLY...

[Dan & Jenni 457]

Hey Dan...

How do you know Jenni doesn't already have one?

we are still together

[az110965 252]

I met my first bf on the internet and he was horrible and so when I met Ben on the internet AT FIRST my family was like OH GREAT NOT ANOTHER until they MET HIM IN PERSON. So I think he's trying to think of whats best for HER, some guys do that you know! This process is enough trouble without a shitload of drama from everyone he knows don't you think? Just saying~

Though it does sound like they need a heart to heart BADLY...

But at least they knew about him BEFORE he just showed up one day. You had the courage to at least tell people Ben existed and trusted he was a good enough man to earn your friend's and family's respect and trust.

[az110965 252]

we are still together

Now THAT is funny!

[jojolicious 38]

If the first wife would have been an American woman would it seem bad to ever marry another American?

You definitely hit the nail on the head

I can understand if they were just dating but they are engaged and they did a commitment ceremony. All the people in his life should know he's taken before the OP just appears out of thin air and then there's a marriage in 90 days.

[Austramerican 83]

But at least they knew about him BEFORE he just showed up one day. You had the courage to at least tell people Ben existed and trusted he was a good enough man to earn your friend's and family's respect and trust.

And I had to hear their stupid fears and comments about my ex everytime I talked about him, I wished I would have just waited like he is doing. And I didn't even marry my ex or have the sort of history this guy has. They don't know she's a good enough person yet, they will think they are thinking of him when they try and cast doubt on this relationship and talk bad about her amongst themselves for months before she even sets foot in the country. He is trying to protect her from that because he cannot control what other people do. Regardless of what you think he 'should' do, I don't think his heart is in the wrong place and she should at least appreciate that.

[az110965 252]

And I had to hear their stupid fears and comments about my ex everytime I talked about him, I wished I would have just waited like he is doing. And I didn't even marry my ex or have the sort of history this guy has. They don't know she's a good enough person yet, they will think they are thinking of him when they try and cast doubt on this relationship and talk bad about her amongst themselves for months before she even sets foot in the country. He is trying to protect her from that because he cannot control what other people do. Regardless of what you think he 'should' do, I don't think his heart is in the wrong place and she should at least appreciate that.

I absolutely see your point of view and you bring up some very valid points, but if the shoe was on the other foot do you think the pettioner would be happy that the OP's friends knew nothing about his existence?

His heart may not be in the wrong place, but his wife feels offended and most likely just wants to be acknolwedged by the petitioner. It's not an unusual request.

[bigdog 376]

I don't care about my exes, hopefully my friends will and do love her, just glad she is my wife now. If you're not done with the past don't mess up someones future.

Good response Dog...

And you're right. Fresy's happiness means the world to me and I'd choose her over any "friend" who didn't support my decision to marry her.

Even though it may be difficult for the petitioner due to his geographical location, he owes it to his fiance to acknowledge her and be proud of her.

Yes Sir.

[Austramerican 83]

Thats why they need to talk to each other, imo they need to get to know each other a LOT better before getting married because if they're having a problem communicating now (to the point where she is posting things asking US what he should do rather than talking it out with him) then they are in for a rocky time. I'm not a fan of airing out dirty laundry like this on a public forum, it's embarrassing and now look at all the people demonising her fiance. If I were him I would feel very hurt and upset by this as she is about the situation which started it.

[Dan & Jenni 457]

Thats why they need to talk to each other, imo they need to get to know each other a LOT better before getting married because if they're having a problem communicating now (to the point where she is posting things asking US what he should do rather than talking it out with him) then they are in for a rocky time.

:thumbs:

[az110965 252]

Thats why they need to talk to each other, imo they need to get to know each other a LOT better before getting married because if they're having a problem communicating now (to the point where she is posting things asking US what he should do rather than talking it out with him) then they are in for a rocky time. I'm not a fan of airing out dirty laundry like this on a public forum, it's embarrassing and now look at all the people demonising her fiance. If I were him I would feel very hurt and upset by this as she is about the situation which started it.

We're not raking the petitoner over the coals, just trying to explain to him that he should have done a better job: a)explaining the situation to his wife, b)assuring her of his intentions, c)saying "the hell with his friends" if they can't/won't accept her.

It's not so much the fact that he hasn't told his friends, it's the fact that he NOW knows how she feels and still won't do anything to make her feel better.

[bigdog 376]

Hmmm... i need to get Jenni a VJ account... it could save hours of skype conversations

It can be enlightening.

We're not raking the petitoner over the coals, just trying to explain to him that he should have done a better job: a)explaining the situation to his wife, b)assuring her of his intentions, c)saying "the hell with his friends" if they can't/won't accept her.

It's not so much the fact that he hasn't told his friends, it's the fact that he NOW knows how she feels and still won't do anything to make her feel better.

AZ- Yes Sir.