Why We Seperated

[JosephandKata 0]

Last year my wife came to the U.S. on a k-1 fiance visa. A visa journey that was hell. We lived together until September, 2010. We got married in August.

During our time together, we got to see sides of eachother we couldn't stand. We started fighting daily, and eventually the fights escalated to a seperation. I didn't try to fix things, while she stayed with my mom, and as a result, she went back to colombia. That was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made.

Of course, after only a week of being gone, we wanted to be together again...but it was too late. She did not have any re-entry papers or documents to re-enter the united states.

All that time and money of going through the k-1 process, wasted.

I weighed out the situation, logically, in November 2010. I made the decision that I loved her, and I didn't want to end the relationship, even if it ment going through another visa process, and another long distance relationship. She felt the same.

I filed for a CR-1 VISA in November, 2010.

That was over 1 year ago... Since then, we've matured and worked out numerous problems we've had.

This "visa journey" was harder than the last, but it's finally nearing it's end. My wifes interview is in 2 days.

This all leads to my question for everyone...

What the hell does she tell the interviewing officer if he/she asks why she came back? It seems to me that the truth, in this case, could be very problematic.

Also, if there is one thing I can tell everyone going through this, or already living together...

Understand that most of you have had a long distance relationship this whole time. Even though you talk to eachother almost non-stop, every single day...living with the person is a completely different experience. That person you loved from vacations and phone conversations are now in your living space, your personal space, and your sleeping space...everyday.

Be as understanding as possible, that he/she is away from their country and everything they know. Also be patient when dealing with a newly discovered "flaw" of your spouse.

I had forgotten what I went through to get her here. The nights we cried, missing each other. Most of all I forgot how much I really loved her, until she was gone. And that crushing feeling that I couldn't get her back.

Although most of you probably arent as dumb as I was, it's the only piece of advice I can give. I have been lucky enough to get a 2nd chance at this. We don't all get a 2nd chance. If I get to see her again, I will never let her go, and I'll never forget.

[Mrs. Diaz 1]

The answer to your question is simple. Your wife have to tell the truth. She will take an oath before the interview, where she swears to tell the truth. So... just tell the interviewer what you just wrote in this post...

I'm sure your wife will be just fine! Don't worry too much. It's not good for you!

Good luck!

[Tim/Mav 305]

It is not abnormal for #### to fall apart in any relationship. Even long distance such as 99.9% of all cases here. You 2 gave it a go and it failed. Maybe, taken for Granite and did'nt realize what you had. Now, things have changed and matured a bit. Worth a second try. Congrats. It is important to have a clear understanding of eachother and be sensitive of eachother.

Your only explaination to the Consulate is that we matured and grew a bit.

[wee carrington 33]

This isn't just a long distance thing-- relationships everywhere get effed up all the time for this or that reason, when someone moves in, when someone gets a new job, ect. The important thing is you've refocused and you know what you both want after all. Good luck on the interview! Obviously she wasn't in the country to try and evade immigration laws since she left.

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

Two days! I remember it like it was just last month

I don't think you are going to have any problems.. The main reason for the interviews is to determine if the relationship is real. What the two of you did shows you had some issues but nothing that would indicate that the relationship was for the purposes of a GC... Expect the first person that collects documentation to be rude (she always is) and the second person to ask a few questions but otherwise be friendly.

I bet she has her Visa in hand by new years....

[JosephandKata 0]

I guess we'll take that route, and be truthful if questioned about it.

Yeah the time definitely went by, regardless of how tough it is. Thanks OnMyWayID.

[jojolicious 38]

Every real relationship has ups and downs... The fact that she returned home when you guys separated gives me the impression that she only came to the US to be with you and for no other reason.

If she's asked about the circumstances of the separation and her departure, she should be honest about the issues you both had and how you worked them out. Your relationship is not only stronger but you've realised that you can't live without each other.

I wish you two lovebirds all the best at the interview... your post made me smile

[JosephandKata 0]

Every real relationship has ups and downs... The fact that she returned home when you guys separated gives me the impression that she only came to the US to be with you and for no other reason.

If she's asked about the circumstances of the separation and her departure, she should be honest about the issues you both had and how you worked them out. Your relationship is not only stronger but you've realised that you can't live without each other.

I wish you two lovebirds all the best at the interview... your post made me smile

Thanks. I had a conversation with her about it, and we both agree that the truth will be our best option. Like "Mrs. GH" said, it shows she wasn't here for anything other than me.

[MalaysianGirl 26]

Your post made me smile, too It's obvious how much you love each other, despite all the problems. I hope your wife gets her visa~ Doesn't seem like it would be any issue with it!

[riss 12]

Hey, good luck Joseph.

I agree with the others, honesty is best. You probably don't want to go into too much detail at the interview, but everybody knows what it's like to fight with someone and then later realize that you could've both done better and you want to work it out after all. Seems to me it'd be worth remembering that the interviewers/officials are human too and probably can warm to what comes across as a genuine love story.

I can really relate to the issues of moving from long-distance online relationship to real life. My partner and I were online friends for a couple of years, then in a long-distance relationship for a few months before I went over to spend three months living with him. What an odd experience, really! To suddenly be living with someone that you'd never actually even seen before. We had so much to adjust to and I found it very unsettling not having my own space or somewhere to go when we weren't seeing eye to eye and I just needed to be away from him for a while. We had to sort out confusions about household organization, what food we'd buy, whether to watch or not watch TV during meals, how to handle our finances, how to spend weekends, how to separate the laundry, etc. etc. etc. None of which you have to think about when it's all online. Normally you'd have lots of time to learn all these things about someone a bit at a time when you stay over once or twice a week, and have time out whenever you need thinking space - but it was all in our faces all at once. There was one day when we argued and I felt so overwhelmed by it that I went into the bedroom, pulled out my suitcases and started packing and planning an early flight home. We ended up sitting together crying and decided in the end that we'd wait a while and try to work it out. In the end it was all okay again, thank goodness! We're now in separate countries and preparing for a good number of months apart while waiting for the K-1 visa, and all we can think about is how deeply we value our relationship and the time that we were able to have together - and hope to have again soon! It's not easy but I think the time apart strengthens you and reminds you of how lucky you are to have each other in the first place.

I'm really happy for you that you are at the end of your wait, and I'm sure your wife's interview will go fine. Best of luck in everything, and I have no doubt that the trials you've been through together will have helped to deepen your commitment and trust in each other for the future. Well done to both of you for holding on through everything. I'm sure things will be much easier and smoother and more joyful this time round!

Riss

[StraightShooter 62]

So how did it end? Did your wife get her visa?

[venusfire503 54]

from his signature, it appears the visa was approved.... let's hope so!

venusfire

[venusfire503 54]

So how did it end? Did your wife get her visa?

Actually, after reading more posts, I came across one he posted somewhere else that day. He said it was approved, and the visa should arrive within 20 days. Congratulations to them!

venusfire