Riads in Casablanca

[nurse1967 287]

Whatever works for you!

[KittyPollitt 284]

Whatever works for you!

Thank you so much for your reaffirmation of my individuality. It means so much to me in this thread. I'm not even joking.

[Laveau 67]

That's disgusting!!!

[KittyPollitt 284]

That's disgusting!!!

No honey, what's disgusting is Moroccan's idea of beer- "special flag". pisswater. Went to a locals bar in Marrakech and drank 3 grown men under the table, then walked out sober as a judge. A sorry excuse for a national beer.

[Laveau 67]

No honey, what's disgusting is Moroccan's idea of beer- "special flag". pisswater. Went to a locals bar in Marrakech and drank 3 grown men under the table, then walked out sober as a judge. A sorry excuse for a national beer.

This AND premarital sex? One word for you: scandalous!

And an emoticon:

[Miss smarty pants 84]

Umm.....ok.

[Ban Hammer 12,878]

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Ok, Sarah, this thread wasn't about you until you made it about you. For someone who says she doesn't care what people think about her, you've certainly gone out of your way to make an impression. That's a shame because I'll bet that most of us had a higher opinion of you before this. I know I did. Now, all I can say is your daughter deserves better.

[tany1157 161]

[KittyPollitt 284]

Ok, Sarah, this thread wasn't about you until you made it about you. For someone who says she doesn't care what people think about her, you've certainly gone out of your way to make an impression. That's a shame because I'll bet that most of us had a higher opinion of you before this. I know I did. Now, all I can say is your daughter deserves better.

I'll reiterate that I don't care about other's opinions of me. My daughter is fine. I don't drink or do irresponsible things about her, and believe it or not, I'm NOT a #######- I guess my sarcasm was lost on everyone. I stayed with him before marriage because I knew I would marry him. I work 2 jobs, 70+ hours a week, pay all the bills around here, and still find time to mother my child. What I'm trying to say is that an American woman, with American habits, shouldn't go changing who she is to conform to her husband's culture. When I go to Morocco, I'm not going to go around in hijab and a jelaba, saying hamdulillah every other word, just because that's the culture there. I am who I am, and if people are talking ####### about me behind my back, that's their karma, not mine.

[KittyPollitt 284]

And my opinion of you hasn't changed at all, Sofiyya. You're good and decent, and I respect you, regardless of what you think of me.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

And my opinion of you hasn't changed at all, Sofiyya. You're good and decent, and I respect you, regardless of what you think of me.

I like you, too, Sarah. I always have. You're gutsy, witty, direct, honest, no nonsense, smart as all get out and I'm sure you're a great mom, too. A lot of us know your story, and I think I'm correct in saying that many of us have admired your determination, resourcefulness and near indestructibly in the way you don't let obstacles overcome you.

But, you know I'm as direct and no nonsense as you are, and I'm very disappointed at the way you're reacted to this thread. Despite what you may see on the surface or how governments act, honor is still a strong part of Arab cultures, and that's not soon to change. Inter-cultural/inter-faith unions are hard enough without losing yourself. Non-Muslim western women don't need to become Arab to be with an Arab man, in fact, I've spoken out here frequently against a lack of integrity in your relationship because it can lead to a loss of self-esteem and identity, which can lead to marital difficulties. Hell, if he wanted an Arab woman, he should have married one, and vice versa.

I'm Muslim and Arab, yet I don't wear hijab or walk two steps behind my man or any of that when I'm in a Muslim country. But, there's a difference between resisting becoming something you're not and showing disrespect to the people you're with. Frankly, I have to wonder what is going on with your man and his family that they would go so far to not demand more respect and reign you in themselves.

I don't come here year after year with what must seem to many of the liberated types like archaic and incredibly old-fashioned advice for no reason. The failure rate of marriages over matters of respect and self-esteem in this forum is high, us old-timers know it, and I figure it's a good idea to let folks in on the very basics of how you should expect to be treated if you are valued by his family.

Universally, what a man looks for in a girlfriend and what he wants in a wife are two different things. In Arab cultures, this distinction is generally magnified. There are certainly men and families who will fall outside of this norm, but there are too many who won't. Believe me, the ones who won't are the ones you want because they will respect your differences if you, in turn, respect theirs.

I've never been non-Arab, but I hear that a book titled "Believing As Ourselves" is a good resource for those who are and who become involved with an Arab man. I don't think it's been mentioned here for a while, so those of you who do read it, I'd love to know what you think.

Anyway, Sarah, you're young yet, some of this may grow on you in time. No matter what, I continue to wish you well as I have since you burst upon the MENA scene. You never cease to amaze me and I hope you never will.

Salaam

Edited January 9, 2012 by Sofiyya

[Miss smarty pants 84]

thats better

[Eesaan 5]

I like you, too, Sarah. I always have. You're gutsy, witty, direct, honest, no nonsense, smart as all get out and I'm sure you're a great mom, too. A lot of us know your story, and I think I'm correct in saying that many of us have admired your determination, resourcefulness and near indestructibly in the way you don't let obstacles overcome you.

But, you know I'm as direct and no nonsense as you are, and I'm very disappointed at the way you're reacted to this thread. Despite what you may see on the surface or how governments act, honor is still a strong part of Arab cultures, and that's not soon to change. Inter-cultural/inter-faith unions are hard enough without losing yourself. Non-Muslim western women don't need to become Arab to be with an Arab man, in fact, I've spoken out here frequently against a lack of integrity in your relationship because it can lead to a loss of self-esteem and identity, which can lead to marital difficulties. Hell, if he wanted an Arab woman, he should have married one, and vice versa.

I'm Muslim and Arab, yet I don't wear hijab or walk two steps behind my man or any of that when I'm in a Muslim country. But, there's a difference between resisting becoming something you're not and showing disrespect to the people you're with. Frankly, I have to wonder what is going on with your man and his family that they would go so far to not demand more respect and reign you in themselves.

I don't come here year after year with what must seem to many of the liberated types like archaic and incredibly old-fashioned advice for no reason. The failure rate of marriages over matters of respect and self-esteem in this forum is high, us old-timers know it, and I figure it's a good idea to let folks in on the very basics of how you should expect to be treated if you are valued by his family.

Universally, what a man looks for in a girlfriend and what he wants in a wife are two different things. In Arab cultures, this distinction is generally magnified. There are certainly men and families who will fall outside of this norm, but there are too many who won't. Believe me, the ones who won't are the ones you want because they will respect your differences if you, in turn, respect theirs.

I've never been non-Arab, but I hear that a book titled "Believing As Ourselves" is a good resource for those who are and who become involved with an Arab man. I don't think it's been mentioned here for a while, so those of you who do read it, I'd love to know what you think.

Anyway, Sarah, you're young yet, some of this may grow on you in time. No matter what, I continue to wish you well as I have since you burst upon the MENA scene. You never cease to amaze me and I hope you never will.

Salaam

However,it is advised NOT to marry a non-Muslim woman, nor is it NOT advised you to marry just any Muslim woman. For married life is not based only on beauty and attraction,or culture and race, rather the wise Muslim must look with insight at what is beyond that, because he needs to be sure that his house will be looked after in his absence, and he needs to bring up his children, and he will not be able to find that or other things which every wise husband seeks, except with a religious Muslim woman. This is the advice of our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him.

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A woman may be married for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper].”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4802; Muslim, 1466).

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[Kindly Waiting 2]