Is it Common for a Thai woman to be uncomfortable saying "I Love You"?

[Drumupalittleluv 0]

So My Bride to be is coming to the US from Thailand next week! I am so excited!!! We dated for three weeks in Thailand, She also visited here on a tourist visa and we dated three weeks here. She is wonderful and has me totally convinced that we will be happily together the rest of our lives.

I have absolutely no reason to doubt her sincerity. Only one thing; she says she is uncomfortable saying "I love you". Is this common in Thai culture?

Also; when we took a short trip to Koh Samui, I noticed that she didn't hug her parents to say good bye. It was a very formal good bye. I asked her about this and she said that is normal in her culture.

So; are there any Thai culture experts that can put me at ease? Or is this a red flag?

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

So My Bride to be is coming to the US from Thailand next week! I am so excited!!! We dated for three weeks in Thailand, She also visited here on a tourist visa and we dated three weeks here. She is wonderful and has me totally convinced that we will be happily together the rest of our lives.

I have absolutely no reason to doubt her sincerity. Only one thing; she says she is uncomfortable saying "I love you". Is this common in Thai culture?

Also; when we took a short trip to Koh Samui, I noticed that she didn't hug her parents to say good bye. It was a very formal good bye. I asked her about this and she said that is normal in her culture.

So; are there any Thai culture experts that can put me at ease? Or is this a red flag?

Many Asian cultures are not into overt shows of affection. It is not only Thai culture. I don't see anything wrong with it, if that's all that gives you pause, I wouldn't sweat it. :thumbs:

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Many Asian cultures are not into overt shows of affection. It is not only Thai culture. I don't see anything wrong with it, if that's all that gives you pause, I wouldn't sweat it.

Completely agree with this. As someone who has dated Asian women (Chinese, Korean) and is now married to a Filipina I can tell you this is the way it is.

Words have no value unless they are supported by actions. She won't tell you how she feels, she'll show you how she feels.

[anya-D 8]

She dont feel comfortable saying I love you but does she loves you? Words doesnt mean much sometimes but the action does. How did she tell you she loves you? is she caring? Does she show her care by touch? Did she mean she doesnt feel comfortable saying it all the time? Or has she not say it becasue she doesnt feel comforable about it. IF the later, I feel that's weird.

The part about her parents - I say it depends. All my friends hugs there parents, but I can see someone that just 'wai' - depends on the relationship between them

[rsn 135]

Anya-D has given you some useful things to consider. Moving this from off-topic to the E Asia forum where you will likely get more serious answers.

Edited August 25, 2011 by rsn

[rsn 135]

To back up what Anya-D has stated, the "hugging" does vary based on the person. It seems common for Thai women to hug each other, but as far as the parents are concerned, that definitely seems to vary. I've noticed that some are more reluctant to hug their father and more likely to hug their mother.

[Drumupalittleluv 0]

Well thank you IR5 and Bob for easing my fears and showing your expertise on the matter. Also; thank you luckytxn for showing your true nature. "eeeehaawwww eeeehaaawww"!

[Ban Hammer 12,842]

two unhelpful/snarky posts removed. any further posts along that line will result in a thread ban or worse.

[Dan and Judy 614]

Wild horses couldn't drag those words out of my mouth.

[Ning 619]

So My Bride to be is coming to the US from Thailand next week! I am so excited!!! We dated for three weeks in Thailand, She also visited here on a tourist visa and we dated three weeks here. She is wonderful and has me totally convinced that we will be happily together the rest of our lives.

I have absolutely no reason to doubt her sincerity. Only one thing; she says she is uncomfortable saying "I love you". Is this common in Thai culture?

Also; when we took a short trip to Koh Samui, I noticed that she didn't hug her parents to say good bye. It was a very formal good bye. I asked her about this and she said that is normal in her culture.

So; are there any Thai culture experts that can put me at ease? Or is this a red flag?

I suggest you buy the book Thailand Fever. You will find many answers to these questions there. Amazon books.

[Utha 10]

I didnt say i love you until he became my husband. I love you is so special for us.

I dont hug my parents as well. I kiss their hand as my respect or when saying good bye. Maybe Thai similar to Indonesia?

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

two unhelpful/snarky posts removed. any further posts along that line will result in a thread ban or worse.

I don't care what you do to me, I'm not shaving your back hair.

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

Well thank you IR5 and Bob for easing my fears and showing your expertise on the matter. Also; thank you luckytxn for showing your true nature. "eeeehaawwww eeeehaaawww"!

Anytime!!!! I'm sure things are going to be fine. :thumbs:

Edited August 26, 2011 by IR5FORMUMSIE

[scandal 951]

We used to hold hands when we first started dating, but then she'd pull her hand away when we got close to the hospital where she worked. She didn't want her friends to see us. Public displays of affection are not as accepted in Thailand as in the US. She did use the "I love you" phrase first, long before I was ready for it. We've been married 2 years now in the states. At this point it's pretty typical in terms of signs/words/gestures of affection, about the same as what you'd expect in an American/American relationship.

Good luck!

[Drumupalittleluv 0]

These replies have been very helpful and I am sure things will be fine. She does show me that she loves me in many ways so I am sure that it is just a Thai way. She is 40 and a bit old fashioned, just the way I want it:)

Thanks again, take care.