trying to be upbeat

[yhang 20]

It's not about the money, money, money

We don't need your money, money, money

:whistle: :whistle:

It's not about ah! cha-ching!

Not about yeah! ba-bling!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

next in queue - leader of the band :bonk:

[kev_n_jena 89]

Ok, let's be clear here

1) the agreement was after I BECAME part of the family, not before. There was no way I was going to help them improve BEFORE I was part of the family. The condition was IF Gretchen and I get married. AND we talked about a boat AFTER the engagment WHEN Gretchen and I had already decided to marry. I wanted to know know the families needs and how to help improve the family.

2) I try no to be a "kow-it-all" I still have a lot to learn. there is a lot I do not know. However, I am not one of those "can't do people". I like to say it will be done, and get it done.

3) I brought her parents here to Manila to be with their daughter through the process. Spend some time with her. See Manila, but also to show them how conservative I am on money as well. How I do not just throw money around like people think Americans do. I wanted to treat them well. But also show I could follow papa po leadership. This is more about me being submissive to papa ko leadership then me being "THE MAN". This is showing I can follow in papa ko footsteps. This is a very diifficult week for me because I am taking care of her parents as well as her, but at the same time working to make papa ko feel as if he is the leader.

4) thanks for all of the congrats. gretchen has been reading the threads and seeing what I have written as well as others. She is getting a kick out of some of the things. I think the hard part os using the right words to explain the right things. My goal is to help her family up to earn better, to support them to have a better lifestyle without needing monthly support from us in the USA. It requires a longer committment then just walking in and handing over money. But once you life up a person to erning more, it just cascades through any people. My goal is to lift up a person or two at a time in the village. It will take years, anad very concentrated effort. And lots and lots of patience. but once the snowball starts rolling downhill, it will make sense. All a lot of people have seen here, is just someone coming in and fixing this, fixing that, giving them some food, and then leaving. My goa l is not to leave, but to put in the support structure so they can lift up themselves. It will take longer, spend more money, but in the end, it will change the lives of future generations. I don't want to just change the lives of her parents, or of the family clan. I want to change the lives of the children's children as well.

Gretchen and Darren,

Congratulations on your success! My wife and I can really relate to your experiences. Our story is very similar in so many ways. Your journey is just beginning now.

Darren,

I can also relate to you wanting to help her family. We have made efforts to do the same. We have helped a lot but I wish we could do more. I think you are right when you say "I still have a lot to learn. there is a lot I do not know."

With regard to helping her family, talk to others in your same situation and get advice. When talking with her father, choose your words very carefully. Things that are said can be taken more than one way. His expectations may be higher than you imagine. Don't leave the wrong impression with him.

Before I end this message, I would be remiss if I didn't address one concern I have. Maybe you don't care, but you did mention it in the post I'm replying to. In my opinion, you do come across as a "know-it-all" in some of the posts I've read. Maybe it's just your writing style.

Again, Congratulations and best of luck in the future,

[Ban Hammer 12,867]

this thread has taken a quick turn to berating the op for various reasons.

i suggest it quickly get back on track and cease with the thinly veiled swipes at the op.

charles

vj moderation

[sunandmoon 450]

Ok, let's be clear here

2) I try no to be a "kow-it-all" I still have a lot to learn. there is a lot I do not know. However, I am not one of those "can't do people". I like to say it will be done, and get it done.

ok, here's a place to start. stop using capital letters on words you want to emphasize. it gives the impression you're trying to come across as a "know it all". sometimes you do it even when giving information which turns out to be incorrect. in your St Luke's Discussion thread you seem shocked and surprised that you could not go inside St. Luke's, yet in one of your previuos threads you acknowledged the fact you might not be able to go inside of St Luke's. In your email you come across as an arrogant " Ugly American". What was your response, you have optic aptrophy and left your glasses in the USA. maybe if you had just admitted you made a mistake, you overacted, you lost your cool due to the pressures of the upcoming week or whatever, you could have nipped in the bud some of the comments members posted in the thread.

anyways, hope the rest of your time in the Philippines is a pleasant one...

[rlogan 2,036]

Don't pick on the equipment managers. There's a place for everyone on the team.

[yhang 20]

hahaha! Love this!!! :lol: :lol:

[gretchen_darren 67]

LOL... Gretchen got a great laugh out of it too. Gretchen says thank you to everyone who has wished us well. Gretchen knows I am trying to help her family, but also trying to be careful of what is said and what goes on.

The great news is the CFO is done as well. We took time off Wednesday just to relax and watch the rain.

today we went to the CFO. I sat outside and just enjoyed the wind. B_J is right. the place is not easy to find. Look for a Green gate at the top of the bridge saying Good Shepard Convent. (next to a 10 story building) You will not see the SMEF-COW sign form the road until at the top of the bridge across from the convent. the benches outside are true catholic. Painful to sit on. 4 pipes welded together to make benches. (ouch) the bathrooms are around the corner, just follow the CFO sign. (to the right as you are facing the building). there is also a canteen there as well. Cokes as of this time are 12 php. (about 8 oz bottles) you can do all of the CFO at SMEF-COW including the sticker. It took Gretchen 4.5 hours. Talk about a long day. They spent a long time going over experiences in Canada and USA. Bad and good observations made by the girls gone on before. Things to be careful of. things to be sure of. they spent a lot of time talking to Gretchen. then to her and her parents. then finally to me. Yes, I got called into the session after everyone else had left. WE were the last ones for hte day. the parents were there to give their consent becacuse of Gretchen's age. Tey had to sign a letter. I had to promise to take care of Gretchen to SMEF_COW, to her parents and to Gretchen. I also provided a land-line to be reached at. they wanted a land-line and not a mobile line. It took me a while to figure out who to give, Almost everyone I know has a mobile number only. I do not even have land line anymore. I only know of three land line numbers. Then proceeded to be informed of the law in the philippines and age of marriage. the requirements. and the needs I need to take care of as well as jealousy. I was not expecting a counseling session as well. But just took it in stride. After all this has been one weird week. Besides I know I will be going through counseling in the catholic church soon with Gretchen. But everything is now complete.

Things left are: get the visa, at NAIA airport: get the CFO sticker, and pay the travel tax.

So far things are on track. What a wild and crazy time since coming back from the trip in May. My life has been crazy. We got everything done with no problems, but I would not recommend what I am doing for the faint of heart. However, I will say one thing. Many girls have told Gretchen they are jealous of her because I have been with her every step of the way in Manila. For me, I could not let her go it alone in Manila. I just could not take it knowing she was in manila going through the process alone. I know some people cannot afford it, or things happen to where they cannot go. I just know for me, it was not a matter of choice. I had to be there with her. things have worked out so far. But we still do not have the visa yet.

[GLJ1322 5]

lol crippy but it was

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

Ok, let's be clear here

1) the agreement was after I BECAME part of the family, not before. There was no way I was going to help them improve BEFORE I was part of the family. The condition was IF Gretchen and I get married. AND we talked about a boat AFTER the engagment WHEN Gretchen and I had already decided to marry. I wanted to know know the families needs and how to help improve the family.

2) I try no to be a "kow-it-all" I still have a lot to learn. there is a lot I do not know. However, I am not one of those "can't do people". I like to say it will be done, and get it done.

3) I brought her parents here to Manila to be with their daughter through the process. Spend some time with her. See Manila, but also to show them how conservative I am on money as well. How I do not just throw money around like people think Americans do. I wanted to treat them well. But also show I could follow papa po leadership. This is more about me being submissive to papa ko leadership then me being "THE MAN". This is showing I can follow in papa ko footsteps. This is a very diifficult week for me because I am taking care of her parents as well as her, but at the same time working to make papa ko feel as if he is the leader.

4) thanks for all of the congrats. gretchen has been reading the threads and seeing what I have written as well as others. She is getting a kick out of some of the things. I think the hard part os using the right words to explain the right things. My goal is to help her family up to earn better, to support them to have a better lifestyle without needing monthly support from us in the USA. It requires a longer committment then just walking in and handing over money. But once you life up a person to erning more, it just cascades through any people. My goal is to lift up a person or two at a time in the village. It will take years, anad very concentrated effort. And lots and lots of patience. but once the snowball starts rolling downhill, it will make sense. All a lot of people have seen here, is just someone coming in and fixing this, fixing that, giving them some food, and then leaving. My goa l is not to leave, but to put in the support structure so they can lift up themselves. It will take longer, spend more money, but in the end, it will change the lives of future generations. I don't want to just change the lives of her parents, or of the family clan. I want to change the lives of the children's children as well.

1) My wife's Barangay. Neighbor across the street. I nicknamed them "the unforgiven" because 1 of the bunso's said "I will never forgive them what they did". and, because they are a truely degenerate immoral family. The unforgiven mom and dad sent their 2 oldest daughters (21 / 19) to Manila on a mission, "find a big fish like him". I'm the "big fish". 7 months later, the 19 year old came back with a fish. Not the "big fish" the unforgiven were hoping for. The fish she brought was in her belly. Well, her womb to be exact. Not even 6 months later, the 21 year old came home with a womb fish too. (true story...and the update is...the unforgiven are gearing up to send the girls back to Manila to try again)

Please be careful when choosng words. A word like.."agreement" used in a... transaction... kind of way... can certainly convey the wrong impression.

2) You're an AmeriCAN not an AmeriCAN'T. (sometimes it's best to just show it instead of blow it. )

3) OK...whatever floats your boat.

4) Hellooooo...you are posting in a FilAm forum. Your desires to help are not unique (here, amongst FilAm couples).

Edited September 8, 2011 by Crashed~N2~Me

[RK_and_Inday 10]

@Gretchen & Darren. Darren, glad your concerns in your first post this thread were overcome. Congratulations to you, Gretchen (and Darren), for successfully completing CFO counseling and Guidance session. Thank you, Darren, for additional description for locating/identifying SMEF-COW. Gretchen and Darren, here is hopeing that the rest of your current stay in Philippines will be pleasant, relaxing and full of meaningful time spent with friends and especially family. Wishing the very best of successes to you both now and in the future. --RK and Inday

Edited September 8, 2011 by RK_and_Inday

[gretchen_darren 67]

thanks to all, this week has been fun. I took the family to TGI Friday's to celebrate after the CFO guidanace and counseling session. That was fun. Not used to rice being a side order. they do not like ribs. And the jack daniels sauce was unique to them. the fried mac and cheese was also unique. They found it interesting. Also, they do not like "hot" things. I ordered some "buffalo bites" not knowing. Gretchen's dad just about lost it on the first bite. Also, they did not know what celery is. It was 2,900php for hte meal. Her dad put his hand over his face saying "mahal mahal mahal". It was cheaper then I expected, but I think everyone was happy. right now I am waiting to see how gretchen is coming to America. I thought of taking them to Hooters at SM Mall of Asia, but knowing her dad's conservativeness, not sure if it is a good thing to do. Gretchen has worn shorts out once (shorts you would see at the mmalls on girls), Gretchen's dad had her go back and change even though we were only eating dinner at the hotel. She is still daddy's girl. Friday's was a very unique experience. I do not know how Hooter's would go over with them. (knowing they do not like spicy food as well.) Ah well. plenty of things to do.

[Edrotar 8]

thanks to all, this week has been fun. I took the family to TGI Friday's to celebrate after the CFO guidanace and counseling session. That was fun. Not used to rice being a side order. they do not like ribs. And the jack daniels sauce was unique to them. the fried mac and cheese was also unique. They found it interesting. Also, they do not like "hot" things. I ordered some "buffalo bites" not knowing. Gretchen's dad just about lost it on the first bite. Also, they did not know what celery is. It was 2,900php for hte meal. Her dad put his hand over his face saying "mahal mahal mahal". It was cheaper then I expected, but I think everyone was happy. right now I am waiting to see how gretchen is coming to America. I thought of taking them to Hooters at SM Mall of Asia, but knowing her dad's conservativeness, not sure if it is a good thing to do. Gretchen has worn shorts out once (shorts you would see at the mmalls on girls), Gretchen's dad had her go back and change even though we were only eating dinner at the hotel. She is still daddy's girl. Friday's was a very unique experience. I do not know how Hooter's would go over with them. (knowing they do not like spicy food as well.) Ah well. plenty of things to do.

Congrats on your journey and I'm glad to see everything is working out so far!! You got me laughing talking about Friday's. My girl loves the nachos and she never had whip cream before that day, so it was fun to have her try different things. She will be taking her parents to Fridays when they make the trip to Manila for her medical and interview. Unfortunately, I wont be making the trip but her family will be there to help her along the way. Thanks for keeping us updated, and good luck the rest of the way!!

Edited September 9, 2011 by Edrotar

[gretchen_darren 67]

called the embassy. They approved the Visa, Plus printed and issued the Visa on Wednesday. So we are going to check with 2go to see where it is. It may beat us back to her village. :thumbs:

[Ran4jenny 3]

called the embassy. They approved the Visa, Plus printed and issued the Visa on Wednesday. So we are going to check with 2go to see where it is. It may beat us back to her village. :thumbs:

I know this has been a very long journey for you. I'm shocked I was jus approved at VSC 112 days no rfe, sooo happy right now. I can't sleep out of happiness since yesterday lol that is why I am up.

[gretchen_darren 67]

Congrats. Your aplication will be at NVC in 2 weeks. Then move to the embassy. You will have her in the USA in just a few more weeks. Best wishes to a speedy journey from here.