LAWN CARE ;-))

[john & jean 37]

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always something more important to me. Finally she

thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.

I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again

I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always something more important to me. Finally she

thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.

I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again

I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Next time wear a cup.

[TBoneTX 45,522]

Forgive the all-caps, plea man:

THE MARRIED COUPLE HAD QUARRELED, AND NOW THEY SAT QUIETLY, NOT SPEAKING. THE HUSBAND, TRYING TO SMOOTH MATTERS OVER, LOOKED UP FROM HIS PAPER TO REMARK, "I SEE HERE THAT THEY HAVE MORE PROOF THAT WE ALL SPRANG FROM MONKEYS."

"WELL, DON'T BE SO PROUD ABOUT IT," RETORTED THE WIFE. "YOU CERTAINLY DIDN'T SPRING VERY FAR."

---

A GLOOMY-LOOKING TRAVELING SALESMAN SAT DOWN IN A RESTAURANT AND TOLD THE WAITRESS, "PLEASE BRING ME TWO EGGS FRIED UNTIL THEY'RE LIKE RUBBER, TWO PIECES OF DRY TOAST BURNT BLACK, AND SOME WEAK, LUKEWARM COFFEE IN A GREASY CUP WITH SOUR MILK."

"ARE YOU KIDDING?" SAID THE WAITRESS. "NO; I MEAN IT," INSISTED THE MAN.

WHEN THE WAITRESS BROUGHT THE ORDER, SHE ASKED, "ANYTHING ELSE?"

"NOW PLEASE SIT DOWN AND NAG ME WHILE I EAT," SAID THE MAN. "I'M HOMESICK."

[Ban Hammer 13,401]

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

Forgive the all-caps, plea man:

THE MARRIED COUPLE HAD QUARRELED, AND NOW THEY SAT QUIETLY, NOT SPEAKING. THE HUSBAND, TRYING TO SMOOTH MATTERS OVER, LOOKED UP FROM HIS PAPER TO REMARK, "I SEE HERE THAT THEY HAVE MORE PROOF THAT WE ALL SPRANG FROM MONKEYS."

"WELL, DON'T BE SO PROUD ABOUT IT," RETORTED THE WIFE. "YOU CERTAINLY DIDN'T SPRING VERY FAR."

---

A GLOOMY-LOOKING TRAVELING SALESMAN SAT DOWN IN A RESTAURANT AND TOLD THE WAITRESS, "PLEASE BRING ME TWO EGGS FRIED UNTIL THEY'RE LIKE RUBBER, TWO PIECES OF DRY TOAST BURNT BLACK, AND SOME WEAK, LUKEWARM COFFEE IN A GREASY CUP WITH SOUR MILK."

"ARE YOU KIDDING?" SAID THE WAITRESS. "NO; I MEAN IT," INSISTED THE MAN.

WHEN THE WAITRESS BROUGHT THE ORDER, SHE ASKED, "ANYTHING ELSE?"

"NOW PLEASE SIT DOWN AND NAG ME WHILE I EAT," SAID THE MAN. "I'M HOMESICK."

No comment.

[natty bumppo 297]

just remember that marriage means commitment. of course, so does insanity ....

[Ban Hammer 13,401]

just remember that marriage means commitment. of course, so does insanity ....

marriage is an institution. so i guess we're all institutionalized.

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

marriage is an institution. so i guess we're all institutionalized.

Not me, but I was tetched to begin with.