need advice and help!!

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Who said ,i've been here for a year?I married him last year,September 2010,i was on legal status and i can go home,of course,but i don't want him to escape unpunished.I asked ,if my case is thin,should i go back to him and wait to be hit???It was a question ,that doesn't require an answer,because ,i am not going back to him,but i want to go and ask the immigration officer ,how they take a decision ,if i entered the marriage in good faith and i have to be threatened every day,that if i don't do certain things,he'll call them and deport me?? And ,to your other question ,i can answer that,i left him on Monday,the 10th and he said that my work permit is waiting for me.I don't need advice to go to my country,or you to tell me that we are different people.Of course we are,but he can't use me ,abuse me and trow me away,and move on to the next wife. I don't care at this point if i can get a green card,but i am for sure going to a lawyer. I'll let you know ,if i'll feel better,because ,this is where you people are wrong.You think a punch in the face,let's say ,is more painful, than a mentally abuse??The medication that i am taking ,made me a vegetable .No,no,i have to show the immigration ,all the evidences and they have to take a look at myself,a good one,or i will fight until the day i'll dye to let the world know about the treatment i got in Americaaaaaaaaaaaa!

I said you'd been here less than a year based on your OP. I was pointing out that some people have a hard time leaving if they've been here for a long time and have had time to put down roots. I've been here since Sept 2009 and only NOW am I starting to actually feel like I'm putting down roots. I'd still go home of course. I was pointing out that you've not really been here long enough to put down roots but then pointed out that obviously my opinion of "long enough" would differ from you.

Mental abuse IS grounds for VAWA but is very hard to prove. You'll need reports about your mental state, or affidavits from friends or family (though professional reports are better as USCIS knows friends/family would lie). Among other things I'm sure. It is possible but it's not easy.

You said he used you, abused you and threw you away. You left him, he didn't throw you away. Semantics sure, but you're angry. I was emotionally abused by my ex and my anger was NOT as strong as yours... I hated him sure but I was happy to have him out of my life. You are looking for ways to punish him. Why are you wasting your energy on that? Did I want to go to my exes new GF and warn her? Sure but I didn't. It will only make you MORE upset and MORE angry to hold onto all this bitterness.

Once again you're saying you "deserve" a GC and if you don't get one, if USCIS doesn't think your abuse warrants a GC, that you're going to complain to everyone about the horrid treatment you got in the US because you didn't get what you were "owed". You are not ENTITLED to a GC... that's just ridiculous, it's a privilege. Just because you married a USC you were eligible of course but he needs to help with the paperwork or you claim abuse.

Entirely your right to try but I personally think (take it or leave it) that your emotional state is FAR too delicate to be dealing with this (given the anger and bitterness in your posts) and that you should consider speaking to a counsellor (if you're planning on staying in the US) or going home to heal (if you're not going to try getting a GC based on abuse).

[monab28 1]

and Vanessa& Tony,i joined this forum,not to gain sympathy,but to see if someone else ,faced a similar situation. I act upset and irrationally ,maybe...how would you act,if you will leave your partner ,after he threatened to hit me and telling me ,he has no fear of the law ? I left stuff in the house ,i have few things that i managed to trow in a suitcase and i almost fainted taking the stairs down to my friend's car ,because i was afraid that he will come(i would have called the police anyway). No GC,no GC,so what? i didn't marry him for that,but he has to be reported in a way,i don't know where,maybe police or i don't know.That was what i was looking ,here ,not to tell me to go home.And ,i just decided that ,i want to live in Australia(been there)!

[monab28 1]

Vanessa,maybe i am too tired and upset and i don't express myself ,in a right way or is not what i am trying to say. I'll start again,just because ,i am on sleeping pills,but they don't help.I didn't say ,that i am entitled to a GC,never ,not on this forum ,not to anybody else.He doesn't want to divorce me,but he told me ,he might come to the interview(don't have a date,yet),if the appointment is not too early.He is playing games with my mind,and that takes out the anger and frustration. I didn't want to sit around and listen to this anymore,yelling ,telling me that if he wants ,i will have papers,if not ,i won't.He didn't understand that for me this is nothing.I've been all over the world,when i said ,i was in Australia ,i wasn't kidding . US,is not the only country that you can have a good life in.But now,i want your advice in this:i left him in the middle of the process. They sent me the EAD,he said ,he will give it to my friend(will see).And now,should i go back to him ,and allow him to wipe the floor with me ,before the interview or i can try on my own.Is a simple question,i have no fear of beeing send home.I have a home!

[rika60607 215]

You already decided that you will not go back to him, as GC is not worth it, so this is not really a question, is it?

Yes, there are plenty of people who were in your situation.

You can report your husband's behavior to police and may be able to get a restraining order on him.

You certainly can ask police to accompany you to your former home to pick up your belongings. You certainly can divorce him. You can go to your interview with USCIS and tell them all you know - they will still deny your AOS, but they will know what a jerk he is. You would risk running into your husband there, of course... is it worth it? If not, just send them a letter.

So what is your question? How to stay in the US despite splitting from your husband? Get a lawyer, I doubt anyone here can help you.

And now,should i go back to him ,and allow him to wipe the floor with me ,before the interview or i can try on my own.Is a simple question,i have no fear of beeing send home.I have a home!

[monab28 1]

You already decided that you will not go back to him, as GC is not worth it, so this is not really a question, is it?

Yes, there are plenty of people who were in your situation.

You can report your husband's behavior to police and may be able to get a restraining order on him.

You certainly can ask police to accompany you to your former home to pick up your belongings. You certainly can divorce him. You can go to your interview with USCIS and tell them all you know - they will still deny your AOS, but they will know what a jerk he is. You would risk running into your husband there, of course... is it worth it? If not, just send them a letter.

So what is your question? How to stay in the US despite splitting from your husband? Get a lawyer, I doubt anyone here can help you.

I belive that no one here,can help me,but i had to talk to people,to calm down.I can't tell my family ,until i decide to go home,because they will suffer even more than me,so i needed to keep myself busy .He called me ,yesterday,about 5 times,i picked up eventually,and he said ,he has my work permit ,to come home and start all over again.I don't think i can do that,because i don't know his intentions,especially now,after i left the apartment. I do belive ,people change,but he was the sweetest guy and changed for worse.I gave him a lot of opportunities to come back to his senses,but i guess,he didn't belive ,that i will leave. Thank you all for writing,i'll pick up the pieces and go on with my life.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,235]

You should leave him and seek shelter at a safe place. File for divorce and once that's taken care of return to your home country. I do not see how you could get a Green Card in your situation but even if you did it would be a conditional one, based on your intact marriage and happily living together under one roof which even now isn't the case anymore.

You said it correctly, your sanity, health and happiness are much more important than immigration.