Against All Odds: Love Over a Distance

[MichaelANDVelvet 2]

Hello,

My name is Michael and I have roamed the visa journey site for some time during the process of the K1 visa I was part of. As a filmmaker I came to the idea of documenting this great journey and the struggle it is. I am here now wondering how many of the members on this forum would enjoy watching a documentary about the struggle for that thing we call "Love". I have been throwing some ideas around to my production crew and I feel it is a subject worth exploring. I feel it is a subject I want to put in a good light; we all know, this is all done "Against All Odds", and is worth it in the end.

Immigration law, border controls, and processes regarding visas would all be investigated and expressed through the film. Interviews of couples explaining their stories would be the most part, their successes and failures.

I have had my share of this journey and plenty of experience in the heart ache. I really would like to bring back the meaning of love.

So without too much explanation, how many would love to watch something such as this? Ideas, thoughts...?

I would love to get a discussion going with this.

Michael

[lovelyjoy 13]

That will be awesome MichaelandVelvet! Count me in!

[Krikit 1,163]

I would watch it. I remember watching a series in Canada which followed people who had met online and were meeting for the first time. It was pretty interesting.

[Ironman140 45]

Sure sounds good to me ?

[ABandIG 2]

I'd love to see something like that!

There are certain aspects of this journey that people who are not involved in, can't quite get.

Keep us posted and believe in it! We're all with you

[Damian&Kelly 16]

I'd def be interested in watching as well.

[MichaelANDVelvet 2]

I'm thrilled to see people interested! Here is an excerpt from the proposal:

The Story:

Everyday people fall in love, move into their first house, start a family, but how many of these couples can say they have honestly fought for their love. The word “love” is a word thrown around too much in these days. Just as the vows of marriage are almost moot in present time, the phrase, “I Love You” has become just as meaningless through its use. Are there actually feelings backing those words or is it just a comfortable thing to say? What happened to the meaning of, “I Love You”?

Everyday people fall in love, move into their first house, start a family, but everyday there are many of these couples doing it across a distance. People from countries around the world attempt the adventure that can only be described as… “Love Over a Distance”.

The countries we reside in are generally proud of their heritage and laws hence making entry to their land a complicated process on its own. Most governments want to regulate security, population, and possessions that come across their borders; so any process of bringing someone across your border is a long and drawn out bureaucratic mess.

In this day and age with the way technology has propelled us to new and faster ways of communication, it is not unheard of to meet someone on the internet and begin a relationship. For those strong people going through a long distance relationship(LDR), you know exactly what this all means. Only being able to see your loved ones through a computer screen or hear them on a telephone will never replace the touch and live sound of a significant other. The separation pulls every thread apart on a relationship, it is never easy. This is the reason that only the strong can survive in a situation like this, this is why most say LDRs don’t work.

The process which one takes to be with a loved one in another country varies throughout the world. There are numerous visas that can be acquired or a lottery that can be won. No matter what way is taken, it all builds up into a heaping pile of stress and money. In the end there is no guarantee of being approved.

Upon approval you might think you are through the roughest. In most cases you are but it still does not mean there are no more hurdles along this journey. The costs of moving, starting a new life, and finally citizenship are just the tip of the iceberg beginning this new adventure.

This is not a story about how immigration laws should be reformed or illegal immigration is wrong, it is a story about the human nature, to love and be loved. Who says you’ll find your “soulmate” in the close proximity of where you live? What are the chances? This is the story of those whole attempted, succeeded and/or failed at one of the hardest things in life, and they did it, “Against All Odds…” over a distance.

Okay so it is really rough but this is the idea. I would like to get some input on this from people on here because this will be a project dedicated to us all, all of us who have tried what we call, "A Visa Journey".

I would like to get interviews of immigration officials and people who have taken this journey. The plan is to produce a documentary that will showcase the stories of the brave souls interviewed and their struggle being with the one they love, over a distance. My hope is to express how hard it is to move to another country, bring a family member to your country, the hoops you need to jump through, and how it is all worth it in the end. I want to give the word “Love” its meaning back. What better way to show this then by telling and showing the stories of couples/families/friends that have had to fight for their love, and know what the word means.

So...any advice would help and if you would be interested in being featured in this documentary, explaining your store, I will be putting out a call for those people sometime in the near future.

I want this to be big, and it can be big if we make it that way. The world should know what some of us go through and what real heart ache feels like. Maybe it can give insight to those that are just starting an LDR, help them decide their route and provide them with information in a different form that this website has been so helpful on.

SO WHO IS WITH ME!?!?!?

Michael

[Damian&Kelly 16]

I love this and the length you went. My husband and I have taken this journey, not quite over with as we still have ROC and citizenship and not to mention if we want to move back what we'd have to do.

One thing I'd say is the journey after the visa hasn't been an easy one for us, as my husband got homesick and had to start building a life here. I think many think it's going to be amazing once you can be together as that's what I thought but it was rocky! I thought all he'd need when he got here was me and when I wasn't making him happy like I did in the past and the past visits I took it personally. Once I gave him space and let him adventure out on his own and make his own friends things got better. He actually calls the US his home now and it's been 3 years.

Just a thought, I'm sure there are more who've had a hard time adjusting and honestly it's not the adjustment of the culture as the US and England are so similar, but the adjusting of having his own life to being apart of mine.

[MichaelANDVelvet 2]

Kelly, I really am glad you are excited. I can sympathize with you entirely. Your story are the sort of things I want to explore. How one feels once moving, the culture shock...etc... Another thing to inculde would be like you said, building a new life on your own and the other partner realizing that they can't make everything perfect.

[Damian&Kelly 16]

That was a shocker for me as we were both very excited to end the distance and the goodbyes. I just thought everything would be amazing as our relationship just kept getting stronger and had with stood the distance.

Please keep me updated on this.

[Krikit 1,163]

Upon approval you might think you are through the roughest. In most cases you are but it still does not mean there are no more hurdles along this journey. The costs of moving, starting a new life, and finally citizenship are just the tip of the iceberg beginning this new adventure.

Going through the visa process while you are in your home country is the "easy" part. Having to pull up stakes and say goodbye to everyone and everything I knew was the most heartbreaking time of my life. In your home country you know practically everything. Where to go for certain items. Who to call when something goes wrong and needs fixing. Having the ability to just drop in or meet up with friends and family when you need a shoulder to lean on or just for a good laugh. Move to the US and your support system is gone. Not to mention how friends and relatives treat you. They're hurt and they're feeling abandoned and they lash out.... or they just plain ignore you or stop including you on things they normally would have. Their actions have an end result of making you, too, feel abandoned and rejected, so you have that to deal with also.

Moving to a new country means losing your entire identity. You're completely lost, both physically and perspectively. You have to reestablish yourself because you're a non-entity. If you don't have a SSN you don't exist. Try doing anything without that SSN. Where I'm from, that identification is only given to a new employer. Here you need it for every little thing. And good luck trying to get one. Having to explain the rules and regulations to government entities who don't even know their own policy gets old quickly. You're the only one who seems to know the rules (if you've done your research) and God help you if you're battling someone who should know those rules (but do not) and are being obstinate because here is a foreigner who's now telling you your own job. Each obstacle is like a brick and each brick is building a wall which gets higher and higher in your attempt to settle into your new life, and you begin to feel that you will never get over that wall.

I think the battle prior to the immigration brings you together as you are both fighting for the same thing. When you finally get here an even bigger battle begins. Your spouse now becomes your entire support system and they don't understand what you're going through, so now they look at you as the enemy. I'm not surprised to hear that couples break up after all they've gone to get here. I know I'd certainly never recommend it, nor would I ever do it again.

Phew. Sorry for the brain dump. I have more.

Edited April 13, 2011 by Krikit

[MichaelANDVelvet 2]

So I am assuming you have tried this and it didn't work out?

[Krikit 1,163]

So I am assuming you have tried this and it didn't work out?

Oh, good Lord, no. We are still going strong. Those are just some of the items you have to work through to get to this point.

[Damian&Kelly 16]

I wouldn't go as far as to say we wouldn't do it again as my husband and I are stronger than ever. And he has a life here and we're both very happy. And not only that but we have plans to move back to England in the future as we'd love to be completely done with immigration before having kids. Luckily we have time on our side as we're both very young, and we're only 1 year away from my husband apply for his US citizenship.

But it is nice to hear from an immigrant as I haven't been in those shoes.

And as for recommending it. I wouldn't recommend looking for love in other countries, but it's not like people choose as I met my husband and fell for him without even thinking about immigration and how we'd be together. I know my relationship is worth it and will last because We made it through some very rough times. I believe my relationship wouldn't be what it is today without all the tears, goodbyes, arguments and hard times and not to mention the distance, which made our communication that much better.

[Krikit 1,163]

From the USC perspective I think there'd be more of a "Yes, I'd do this again." because they're still in familiar surroundings. From the immigrant perspective..... well, at least, my own..... it's quite different.