Two dumb questions we get asked almost daily

[Ken y Leidys 20]

Leidys and I get asked almost daily why we haven't conceived yet, and when will we travel to Colombia to have a Prince Charles/Lady Di Wedding Ceremony in her hometown within the next 6-8 months? Do people think money grows from trees?

How about the fact that this immigration process (along with my Masters Degree) cost a boatload of money! Personally, I'm in a rush to pay off my debt so that Leidys and I can have money to travel and enjoy our married life rather than start a tribe. Its not fun being situationally poor, but in some parts of the world, that doesn't factor into how many children are born into families.

Does anybody on VJ feel me? The credit cards are all maxed-out, no savings is in the bank, and we're supposed to fly to Colombia for a big ceremony when we had one here in the U.S. last year? Nope, not happening...

Here's a few photos at least...

The venue did not permit dancing, but we did anyway.

Lots of friends/family in attendance.

It was a great event..Thanks Mom!

[Ken y Leidys 20]

During the K-1 Visa process, I literally ran out of extra money. My Mother wanted to see us together, so she helped out. Here she is in Northern Colombia enjoying the good life!

Smoothies at Exito Market

The Hwy to Santa Marta del Rodadero

On the phone in Downtown Barranquilla

[brettdresseur 0]

HAHA I think it is a natural part of marriage. People ask me all the time and I just say that my hubby isn't even in the US and we have to travel a bit more and enjoy being married first. It comes with the territory, I just laugh it off. The question is what do you do when you can tell your mom is itching for a grandkid (even though she doesn't go there, you know the wistful look and the "you need to do this when you're pregnant" speech) and you're the only child.

Take your time, laugh it up and travel when you can.

BTW, I went to Colombia a few times and it is one of my absolute favorite places to go. I'm always telling people that they need to go there (after Turkey of course ) and I just ADORE Cartagena. Congrats!

[Ken y Leidys 20]

My family knows of our situation and how I am careful about paying my bills first, so thankfully, we are all together on this as a family. People outside of our family on the other hand...

[Hendea3 4]

Im constantly getting the response to our situation...well If you are not allowed to work, you might as well have kids now....um EXCUSE me but we are finally in the same home for the first time in our entire relationship please people let us travel and enjoy being married before having children!

[silvana.toma 15]

I'm glad i'm not the only one that thinks you need money to have a child.

The days when you are just having kids like there is no more tomorrow are long gone. With so much instability in the world it's scary to even think about it.

As far as the wedding goes, some people are just silly, they say things just for the sake of not shutting up.

The silliest question I was asked when i used to work on one of the carnival ships, was :Do crew members sleep on the ship? No....half of us sleep with the fish... and the other half is taken with a helicopter at night back on land and in the in the morning they bring us back on the ship

[Ken y Leidys 20]

The silliest question I was asked when i used to work on one of the carnival ships, was :Do crew members sleep on the ship? No....half of us sleep with the fish... and the other half is taken with a helicopter at night back on land and in the in the morning they bring us back on the ship

I thought there was no such thing as a dumb question. Now, those are dumb questions!

[Messybrownhair 251]

I totally agree with this!

When I mentioned going on the pill during marriage.. people raised eyebrows.. I wanted to say we are only 22 and 23, barely out of college, preparing for a deployment and we just finished the k1 so now we actually want to enjoy having a real relationship.. no kids till another year or two!

[Fandango 1,440]

I think it's people's human nature to rush things....think about it...when you were dating, it's 'when are you getting engaged', then when you're engaged, it's 'when are you getting married?' then when you're married, it's 'when are you having kids?' Like, slow your roll people!

Or couples maybe a step or two ahead of you, saying things like 'you're next!' at the wedding when you're not even engaged

Ken, I'm glad things worked out for you. You have a beautiful wife, and you always seem so happy. And your mom looks so pretty, kind, and happy. I like looking at your pics!

eta: hubby, baby and I met two friends for dinner this weekend, who had just gotten married last year. She's got baby fever - him, not so much. He wants to enjoy being a married couple before becoming a family. Fair enough! When she talked to him at dinner (ooooh look at Nicholas, don't you want one of our own?') I remembered all the people who rushed me, so I did the anti-rush thing and told her how much work it was, how she was young, and had all the time in the world, and to just enjoy being married before diving into motherhood. That was my good deed for the day, lol.

Edited February 15, 2011 by Lisa C

[Ken y Leidys 20]

eta: hubby, baby and I met two friends for dinner this weekend, who had just gotten married last year. She's got baby fever - him, not so much. He wants to enjoy being a married couple before becoming a family. Fair enough! When she talked to him at dinner (ooooh look at Nicholas, don't you want one of our own?') I remembered all the people who rushed me, so I did the anti-rush thing and told her how much work it was, how she was young, and had all the time in the world, and to just enjoy being married before diving into motherhood. That was my good deed for the day, lol.

I totally agree. Leidys and I are going to the local mountains on Sunday to spin the Jeep around in the snow and throw snowballs, etc. We went last year, and it was Leidys favorite thing. When I go to work and tell everyone how much fun my wife and I had with each other doing fun, low-cost stuff together, I always hear the question, "When are you going to have CHILDREN!" I now think it is said out of jealousy more than anything else. My standard answer - 2 years.

EXPLODING SUV!

Snowman? Snowwoman!

Monster Truckin'!

[sachinky 465]

I get that question a lot, especially at work where most of my colleagues are conservative women with half a dozen kids, all under the age of eleven. I usually reply that my husband and I can barely feed ourselves, let alone another mouth. That, and when I tell them that if I were to get pregnant I'd either kill myself or be heading out to the closest Planned Parenthood. That shuts them up real quick.

Seriously, stfu and mind your own business.

[Gemmie 142]

I get asked this all the time, usually by old friends back home who are my age (23) and have 1-4 kids already. The funny thing is, they're not married, and some of them have kids to different fathers, so I don't think they realise that some people want to have some 'marriage time' before having children. Maybe it's a thing of the past, I don't know.

I get asked by my brother all the time, he has one child and another one on the way (his girlfriend is just 21) so it's almost like it's expected of me - after all, I am older than them all, and don't have any yet! The horror. Yet when I tell him about what me and my husband did that weekend ( we went to the city for the day, we went out for a meal, we're going to a 4* hotel, etc) he acts annoyed about it. I do wonder if it's jealousy, because they don't have that freedom.

My husband and I moved into a gorgeous new apartment a few weeks ago, and as soon as I spoke to him on the phone, he asked 'when are you trying for a baby then?' (as in the past I had said that we don't even have our own place). I responded "we don't know, we're happy on our own at the moment, just having our space and quiet time" - he just grunted.

It's funny that people find it personally offensive.

[LaL 418]

They don't ask me because none of us have kids. Us meaning my other siblings. There is no singling out - no pressure. I think my parents/extended family have likely given up the idea by now. People at work don't ask such questions.

[sachinky 465]

#### kids, personally I find them overrated. I teach kindergarten all day and while they are cute and I-love-them-they-love-me (I find my job to be very fulfilling,) I am glad that I can come home at five, put my feet up, eat cereal and watch Top Chef (without having to worry about running after a toddler or cooking a healthy meal to feed a large family). Some of the other teachers go home and cook four course dinners -- maybe they are just better women than I am. Or I'm just too self-absorbed and I like having money to drop on shoes and purses at whim without having to worry about diapers and baby-wipes, at this point of time in my life.

Nothing against babies, I just don't want one of my own, around, all the friggin' time. Not yet, at least. We'll see how I feel in five-seven years or so.

[Ken y Leidys 20]

I teach kindergarten all day and while they are cute and I-love-them-they-love-me (I find my job to be very fulfilling,) I am glad that I can come home at five, put my feet up, eat cereal and watch Top Chef (without having to worry about running after a toddler or cooking a healthy meal to feed a large family).

I teach Special Needs kids aged 13-18, and personally, I'm exhaused when I get home everyday.