Jackson Lee blasts 'demeaning' Pepsi Super Bowl ad

[james&olya 1,121]

Yeah but trying to get in a position to have a woman you're dating in another state move across country to be with is going to be extremely difficult to say the least (the high failure rate of k1 marriages speaks to that). You'd surely be better off trying to date someone either at work or by meeting them socially or through people you know.

Been there, done that! Lowered my standards/expectations and wound up with the 'ex-from-hell'!!! Tried again for years. Finally found international internet dating and could not be happier! We both feel we are the luckiest people in the world!!

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

I personally don't understand the phenomena of "falling in love on the internet" although it clearly happens as evidenced on this site.

I certainly couldn't imagine promising to move my life...to leave my family/friends/job for someone I met online.

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

I don't see a concern for one's eventual destination as shallow, nor that it is confined to 'American women'.

If anything it would be shallow to up sticks and move just to pursue a relationship. You've got to consider your own self interest, the whole package as it were.

[james&olya 1,121]

You've got to consider your own self interest, the whole package as it were.

And this is not shallow? Being self-centered is not a recipe for domestic happiness. But I have certainly dealt with that in my previous American dating partners! All of us have things that are 'deal-breakers' when it comes to possible marriage. Is temperature of the place you might live less shallow a deal-breaker then a potential partner being significantly obese and physically unfit?

[Marilyn. 340]

I personally don't understand the phenomena of "falling in love on the internet" although it clearly happens as evidenced on this site.

I certainly couldn't imagine promising to move my life...to leave my family/friends/job for someone I met online.

I didn't fall all the way in love on the internet, that didn't happen until I met him in person.. but the process started on the the internet..

[chri'stina 190]

I didn't fall all the way in love on the internet, that didn't happen until I met him in person.. but the process started on the the internet..

I wasn't expecting to see this subject when I clicked on this thread but I guess a thread this long is bound to jump around.

I think it matters what someone's personality is like and how long they have been talking to someone online before forming those feelings. When people say they don't understand it, it means it didn't happen to them, obviously. I had a very strong attachment to my now husband after chatting to him for 2 years before meeting him in India. I knew I loved him. I didn't have to touch him to know I loved him. And thankfully everything in person went very well for us to affirm our feelings. There are things in life I also don't understand since I haven't experienced them.

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

Well obviously people do fall in love with people from far away the help of the internet....but I expect many people (American women AND Men) use the internet as another way to meet people locally, people (especially anyone over the age of 30) who are probably very skeptical about forming a meaningful connection with someone far away by just chatting online.

Obviously it does happen.

But does joining a dating site and not being open to meeting people more than 30 miles away make you shallow? It may only mean you are practical. I would imagine the odds of there being someone on an international dating site willing to do a long distance thing are a little higher than on regular dating sites like match.com for American men and Women.

[chri'stina 190]

Well obviously people do fall in love with people from far away the help of the internet....but I expect many people (American women AND Men) use the internet as another way to meet people locally, people (especially anyone over the age of 30) who are probably very skeptical about forming a meaningful connection with someone far away by just chatting online.

Obviously it does happen.

But does joining a dating site and not being open to meeting people more than 30 miles away make you shallow? It may only mean you are practical. I would imagine the odds of there being someone on an international dating site willing to do a long distance thing are a little higher than on regular dating sites like match.com for American men and Women.

I haven't even read most of the posts in this thread so I agree with your 3rd paragraph. I didn't know we were talking about people purposely finding someone internationally. I didn't even want to find someone online since I used to think it was weird. Admitting it was actually happening to me back then was a funny situation in my mind. I didn't seek it out, it was more of a random online meeting concerning a topic we had in common. I don't think I would suggest my sister or good friends to have to do it this way and have to go through a visa process to be together. Although it definitely builds patience and such.

[Amby 490]

This reminds me of a friend's dad. He is divorcing his second wife because she put 1 million on his American Express in a month (we're still trying to figure out how someone spends that much money in a month). Anyways, he's already looking for another wife. This time he's looking for a Russian bride and he sent an email with pics to my friend and described the women like they were cars. He even used stuff like "she's got a huge engine" and stuff. We lol'd

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

And you didn't meet on a dating site, did you? You weren't actively seeking a relationship (and never imagined you would "meet online") but connected with someone based on shared interest/values, right?

I just can't imagine actively seeking out someone out who lived far away. If your choices are more limited locally because you love somewhere small and remote, it probably makes sense. I don't see someone being "shallow" because they are limiting themselves geographically to someone they don't even know.

This time he's looking for a Russian bride and he sent an email with pics to my friend and described the women like they were cars. He even used stuff like "she's got a huge engine" and stuff. We lol'd

It's every little girl's dream to marry a guy who compares her to a car

[Trumplestiltskin 5,791]

And this is not shallow? Being self-centered is not a recipe for domestic happiness. But I have certainly dealt with that in my previous American dating partners! All of us have things that are 'deal-breakers' when it comes to possible marriage. Is temperature of the place you might live less shallow a deal-breaker then a potential partner being significantly obese and physically unfit?

Is the temperature the only reason a person wouldn't move?

Why wouldn't you move?

[Fandango 1,439]

You joke about this but I was told multiple times by women I met on US internet dating sites that the only reason they did not want to pursue a potential relationship had to do with where I live!!! So yes, many American women really are that shallow!!

I consider myself fortunate to have discovered an opportunity to find love and be able to also remain where my job and family are. So think twice before you assume you know the reasons anyone may be looking and find love overseas!

I'm just getting back into this thread, but deciding on where to live and the reasons why is hardly shallow....

If that's not the case, move to Guam. Now. Report back and tell us how it is.

[Fandango 1,439]

I personally don't understand the phenomena of "falling in love on the internet" although it clearly happens as evidenced on this site.

I certainly couldn't imagine promising to move my life...to leave my family/friends/job for someone I met online.

Robin, you're so shallow!!!

[Fandango 1,439]

And this is not shallow? Being self-centered is not a recipe for domestic happiness. But I have certainly dealt with that in my previous American dating partners! All of us have things that are 'deal-breakers' when it comes to possible marriage. Is temperature of the place you might live less shallow a deal-breaker then a potential partner being significantly obese and physically unfit?

Are you kidding me James? Not being willing to leave your life based on some guy you met on the internet is shallow? Let's face it - ok, so you're internet dating. You meet a woman, you start chatting. How soon into this chatting does the question of relocation come up? Obviously it was a dealbreaker for you. But did you ever consider moving to her? Not your now-her, the shallow ones you speak of. Was that ever an option? Did you offer?

I'd be skeered if some random guy on the internet offered to leave his life just to be with me. You don't leave something like that easily, and it's not shallow to say so.

Edited February 15, 2011 by Lisa C

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

You joke about this but I was told multiple times by women I met on US internet dating sites that the only reason they did not want to pursue a potential relationship had to do with where I live!!! So yes, many American women really are that shallow!!

This is not really shallowness. This is called a "choice". Something modern women in the US have when selecting a mate. Historically men have had far more choices than women when it came to relationships. Men held more of the cards. Today the playing field is more level.

I say do not call us "shallow" for having the ability to be as selective as men when choosing a partner.