Best, Worst, Most unexpected thing about FSU

[kharkovpoacher 4]

My favorite new word in the English language is "maybe." Like Brad, my Veka remembers everything. "You promise me three weeks ago (insert whatever task or item). First, I never promised, but I said "yeah" meaning that was possible, like in the next year. Second, yes, means right now or yesterday according to her. Now, I just say maybe to everything. I just can't be locked down to anything anymore. One would think it would not have taken me five months to figure that one out.

Gary, I'm glad that you like "smokinhotkova." Yes, I am a shallow person. It is just that when I went to Ukraine waving my American dollars around, the pretty girls ran faster to me then the ugly ones.LOL.

"You live in village." Yes, Raleigh is a village. I live just outside a suburb of Raleigh. In a subdivision, less then a five minute drive to WallyWorld, Lowes, Target, etc. No marshrutka, metro, taxi, etc. I do goose hunt and deer hunt on the cattle farmers property adjacent to the subdivision. One day Veka was on Skype to her mother. My 13 year old son came in the house with his bow after deer hunting in the morning. Veka, her mother, and my son then had a long conversation about him going "in the woods in the dark. Doesn't he know that there are wild animals there. Was he not afraid. He knew there were animals in the woods, that was the point of going." The whole conversation baffled her mother as to why and my son was amused. This was in September. After a few months of deer, ducks, and geese in the back of my truck, I am definitely a villager. One day Veka did call me on my phone when we were hunting geese by the house. She was watching TV and heard a big flock fly over. She stepped out on the porch to watch. It was two of my sons and a neighbor. We dropped about 8 or 9 out of that flock. Was she impressed with her "villagers" calling, no, shooting, no. She wanted to go to dinner, I needed to get home and take shower. No, it was not the shower before "seks."

Veka does like the gun range. I will have to tell the story of "spetsnaz" later. I will have to include a picture or two. The rednecks were impressed.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

My favorite new word in the English language is "maybe." Like Brad, my Veka remembers everything. "You promise me three weeks ago (insert whatever task or item). First, I never promised, but I said "yeah" meaning that was possible, like in the next year. Second, yes, means right now or yesterday according to her. Now, I just say maybe to everything. I just can't be locked down to anything anymore. One would think it would not have taken me five months to figure that one out.

Gary, I'm glad that you like "smokinhotkova." Yes, I am a shallow person. It is just that when I went to Ukraine waving my American dollars around, the pretty girls ran faster to me then the ugly ones.LOL.

"You live in village." Yes, Raleigh is a village. I live just outside a suburb of Raleigh. In a subdivision, less then a five minute drive to WallyWorld, Lowes, Target, etc. No marshrutka, metro, taxi, etc. I do goose hunt and deer hunt on the cattle farmers property adjacent to the subdivision. One day Veka was on Skype to her mother. My 13 year old son came in the house with his bow after deer hunting in the morning. Veka, her mother, and my son then had a long conversation about him going "in the woods in the dark. Doesn't he know that there are wild animals there. Was he not afraid. He knew there were animals in the woods, that was the point of going." The whole conversation baffled her mother as to why and my son was amused. This was in September. After a few months of deer, ducks, and geese in the back of my truck, I am definitely a villager. One day Veka did call me on my phone when we were hunting geese by the house. She was watching TV and heard a big flock fly over. She stepped out on the porch to watch. It was two of my sons and a neighbor. We dropped about 8 or 9 out of that flock. Was she impressed with her "villagers" calling, no, shooting, no. She wanted to go to dinner, I needed to get home and take shower. No, it was not the shower before "seks."

Veka does like the gun range. I will have to tell the story of "spetsnaz" later. I will have to include a picture or two. The rednecks were impressed.

Alla likes to shoot. .22s and a 28 guage shotgun for skeet. She likes skeet because it is "interesting" because the targets move. She is afraid of wild animals and says there are too many around here. She also wants to know why people do not keep their animals where they belong and let the deer and moose and turkeys run out on the roads. "it is crazy, crazy animals! I tried to drive up this road but I could not because there is a stupid animal in the road" She went to the backyard one morning and found a raccoon in the garbage can when she rounded the corner of the garage. They both ran in opposite directions screaming! She likes rabbits and squirrels and birds and feeds them all the time. I used to hunt but have not in years. She keeps telling me I shoud kill some animals for "free food". Our son Sergey wanted to know if he hit a deer, could he keep it? I told him yes, but they are not too good to eat after being smashed by a car PLUS it "breaks the car"

When Alla came in the kitchen yesterday I said "Dobra Utra Smokinghotnikova" she answered "Dobra U...Vooowhat?" Smokinghotnikova. "Vooowhat is it?" It means a really hot, sexy, beautiful Russian woman. "I hope so" She said, "I will check it out"

[Brad and Vika 129]

Vika is absolutely against hurting an animal in any way, but has no problem eating one I wanted to trap and release the chipmunks that were digging up her spring flower bulbs and she flipped out, thinking some of the varmints would be killed.

[kharkovpoacher 4]

Brad, when you have eliminated the little rodents, just tell Veka "they must have moved to a nice farm in the country."LOL. Luckily I do not have the problem regarding death with my Veka. She did however make me move all ducks, geese, swans, deer, boar to my office. She says it was not nice to have dead animals and hides all over the house. "But my queen, this is how we villagers live." I held my ground on that one for about maybe 30 seconds. Y'all would have been proud of me standing my ground on that one.NOT.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Brad, when you have eliminated the little rodents, just tell Veka "they must have moved to a nice farm in the country."LOL. Luckily I do not have the problem regarding death with my Veka. She did however make me move all ducks, geese, swans, deer, boar to my office. She says it was not nice to have dead animals and hides all over the house. "But my queen, this is how we villagers live." I held my ground on that one for about maybe 30 seconds. Y'all would have been proud of me standing my ground on that one.NOT.

My Vika is pretty good about the house. She really didn't insist on any major changes when she got here. I have found though, that when she tells me that she does not want something in the house (typically something my mother thought would be cute), or wants to hang an icon or something - it is just better not to fight it.

Vika's BFF is married to a buddy of mine. He is a competitive body builder, and had trophies (some shaped like huge swords) all over the house. Ornamental knives, small knick-knacks shaped like sarcophagi, immitation greek sculptures on pedestals, etc. I remember telling him that ANY woman will want that ####### in the basement or back room. He said "no way is my wife-to-be going to change these great decorations". You can guess what happened The trophies are all in the basement now, the statues are out in the yard. There is a special place on the floor of the garage for the three foot stone gargoyle that used to be on his dresser. It scared his wife when she woke up one night, and it was gone before dawn because it was obviously evil

In short Kirk, you didn't do any different than the rest of us. You just saved yourself some time.

[easyukraine 1]

you guys are to funny but i guess i will be next.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Vika is absolutely against hurting an animal in any way, but has no problem eating one I wanted to trap and release the chipmunks that were digging up her spring flower bulbs and she flipped out, thinking some of the varmints would be killed.

Alla is a little more practical. She doesn't want to hurt animals (herself) but says "I am not stupid, I know they are killed so I can eat" In fact she likes to buy chickens and beef from farms where she sees them running around and it is the ONLY way she will buy eggs or milk...fresh from the farm. The farmer slaughtered a bunch of his hens a while back and we bought 10 of them for the freezer. I have tried to tell her that hunting is not "free food" what with bying the license, driving to some place to hunt, etc. I can process the meat myself, but still, it is not "free".

I didn't have much on the walls when she arrived. Nothing actually. I had just remodeled, insulated, and sheetrocked and primed the whole house so the walls were bare, white and ready to paint. A lot of my stuff is still in the basement in boxes awaiting the construction of my "man cave" (without photos of girls in bikinis) The two deer heads, one wild hog head and one salmon I have mounted are at my mother's along with my Dad's black bear rug. I tool them there when I went to Ukraine. Alla thinks it is a fine place for them. She liked the bear rug. Doesn't like bears, but the bear rug is suitably dead I guess.

Bascially, be prepared to turn over the house to the RUB woman. The house is "hers". But in exchange she cleans it and cooks and takes care of the place (except dirty work, and anything deemed to be a "man's job") Fair enough. I have my work room with my loading bench, tool bench, tools etc. in the basement, and my woodshop and the garage which is mine except for her car, which is defintely not mine, except to care for it. She only "aims" it.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

My Vika is pretty good about the house. She really didn't insist on any major changes when she got here. I have found though, that when she tells me that she does not want something in the house (typically something my mother thought would be cute), or wants to hang an icon or something - it is just better not to fight it.

Vika's BFF is married to a buddy of mine. He is a competitive body builder, and had trophies (some shaped like huge swords) all over the house. Ornamental knives, small knick-knacks shaped like sarcophagi, immitation greek sculptures on pedestals, etc. I remember telling him that ANY woman will want that ####### in the basement or back room. He said "no way is my wife-to-be going to change these great decorations". You can guess what happened The trophies are all in the basement now, the statues are out in the yard. There is a special place on the floor of the garage for the three foot stone gargoyle that used to be on his dresser. It scared his wife when she woke up one night, and it was gone before dawn because it was obviously evil

In short Kirk, you didn't do any different than the rest of us. You just saved yourself some time.

Chipmunk trap...not for release

Fill a 5 gallon bucket halfway with water. Put some whole kernel corn in there, it floats. Enough to cover the surface of the water. Put some wood or a box up to the edge of the bucket and a paint stir stick "diving board" over the edge. Works great.

Also works for mice.

Edited January 17, 2011 by Gary and Alla

[Brad and Vika 129]

you guys are to funny but i guess i will be next.

Oh yes, my friend. Your time is definitely coming

[kharkovpoacher 4]

Gary, oh the car. I bought Veka a new KIA. Not too expensive, but new, nice, 100,000 mile warranty. It gets vacuumed, wiped down, washed, pampered, and I am lucky to even to get a ride in it. It is Veka's machina. When I offer to fill it up for her, no, I will move the seat or change the mirrors. She will take my credit card and go fill it up. It is a new thing for her. Since she has gotten her license, she sometimes will follow me and drive her car "for practice." I am from village and there is always a four wheeler in the back, blood running down the tailgate and bumper of my truck. The inside gets cleaned once a month. The outside only gets washed when it rains. It is for work and I am in mines and road construction sites everyday. It would only stay clean for about a day. I am still allowed to wear my shoes in Veka's car. I'm just waiting for her to give me slippers to put on. That would be the ultimate Russki joke.

Easy, oh yes your time is coming.LOL. Just when you think you have gotten to the end, oh no, she will come up with something else. It is for the better though. Yes, I have 26 animals all jammed into my office. The "room of dead." However, the rest of my house is awesome. It is immaculate. Trust me, if I put something down, it either goes to its place or I am reminded of its place within a minute. Not hen pecking, just very orderly. If you look in my cabinets, pantry, laundry room, you would be amazed. Everything is perfectly aligned, like military aircraft on a flightline.

Brad, oh the house. I told her when she got here, to make it her own. OOPS. Just kidding. It is definitely hers now. I can't tell you how many hours I have been in Pier 1, Target, Kohls, Bed Bath and Beyond, just following the queen around carrying her knicknacks. Luckily, I think we have gotten close to the end of this. The inside of the house is her domain and if I even try to clean a dish or something else, I am quickly moved out of the way. No problem, have at it my queen. The only thing that she does not touch is my office. "The room of dead." You could perform surgery anywhere else in my house though. I lied. I have one walk in closet filled full of hunting gear and ammo and another filled with fishing gear. She will open those, shake her head, mumble something in Russki, and close the door. I have organized them for her, but it still fails the "inspection." I tell her "close the door and you and no one else will see it." I am "villager" again.LOL.

I do have to say, none of this is a surprise to me. When I lived with her in Kharkov, her apartment was the same way. I knew what I was getting into. Luckily, I do have my things that are allowed to be "dirty." She has changed a lot of things in my life for the better. I am just poking fun at myself and adjustments that both of us have had to make.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Gary, oh the car. I bought Veka a new KIA. Not too expensive, but new, nice, 100,000 mile warranty. It gets vacuumed, wiped down, washed, pampered, and I am lucky to even to get a ride in it. It is Veka's machina. When I offer to fill it up for her, no, I will move the seat or change the mirrors. She will take my credit card and go fill it up. It is a new thing for her. Since she has gotten her license, she sometimes will follow me and drive her car "for practice." I am from village and there is always a four wheeler in the back, blood running down the tailgate and bumper of my truck. The inside gets cleaned once a month. The outside only gets washed when it rains. It is for work and I am in mines and road construction sites everyday. It would only stay clean for about a day. I am still allowed to wear my shoes in Veka's car. I'm just waiting for her to give me slippers to put on. That would be the ultimate Russki joke.

Easy, oh yes your time is coming.LOL. Just when you think you have gotten to the end, oh no, she will come up with something else. It is for the better though. Yes, I have 26 animals all jammed into my office. The "room of dead." However, the rest of my house is awesome. It is immaculate. Trust me, if I put something down, it either goes to its place or I am reminded of its place within a minute. Not hen pecking, just very orderly. If you look in my cabinets, pantry, laundry room, you would be amazed. Everything is perfectly aligned, like military aircraft on a flightline.

Brad, oh the house. I told her when she got here, to make it her own. OOPS. Just kidding. It is definitely hers now. I can't tell you how many hours I have been in Pier 1, Target, Kohls, Bed Bath and Beyond, just following the queen around carrying her knicknacks. Luckily, I think we have gotten close to the end of this. The inside of the house is her domain and if I even try to clean a dish or something else, I am quickly moved out of the way. No problem, have at it my queen.

OMG the shopping! But I did just remodel the house when she arrived and I promised her she could choose all that stuff. It DOES end but it can take months. She loves Bed. Bath and Beyond. She probably rates it right up there with Disney World and the happiets place on earth. The first time we went there she would not leave. They closed the store and she stayed, they were literally trying to find her and kick us out. She kept saying "just a few more minutes, look, I am buying lots of stuff" We filled a pickup truck that night, the bed and the cab, and could barely squeeze in to drive home. She chose the tile in the bathroom by email photos before she arrived.

On the car, again, Alla is a bit more practical. Buying gas and servicing the car are "man jobs" she HATES the smell of gasoline and dirty gas stations. I am allowed to drive her car to get gas and to clean it, or to warm it up for her. She wants it cleaned out at least once per week, sometimes I do this other times the boys do this. They like her car also.

I bought her a used mini-van when she arrived which we crashed into all sorts of stationary objects while she learned to drive, Then we bought her a new mini-van since she said she wanted "the same kind of car she learned with" but after about a year she decided she wanted a "small car" and got a sports car which she really LOVES and now I get the mini-van. She launched (literally) the sports car off an embankment into a cranberry bog last January and buried the front end in the muck/mud/half frozen goo. Fortunately she survived without a scratch, the car needed a lot of work but was repairable. It took most of the "village" and a heavy duty wrecker with lots of winch cable to get her car out, it was more than 200 ft. off the road! Quite an evening project, and the whole time Alla paced back and forth at the top of the embankment waiting to see her "poor car". Her first reaction on seeing it was..."it is very dirty, you will have to wash it" This incident hastened our move from the island to the city. Driving 45 miles home at night from classes in the winter in Vermont is just not advisable in any kind of car.

Now she loves that car and has not had an accident since and has never had an accident with another car that I know of. She never has had a ticket either, but has been stopped a few times. Warn them NOT to try and bribe the cops! Two weeks ago she got towed for parking in a tow-away zone and had to take a bus to the impound to bail out her car and got a parking ticket. Oddly enough she did not call me about this and only told me that evening in a very matter of fact, "no big deal" way. She needs me to buy gas but can get her car out of jail by herself.

[LvivLovers 39]

What used to be my bedroom has slowly morphed into her bedroom. Only a couple pieces of original furniture remain. Icons and other religious artifacts (anything from any religious that brings good luck, good fortune, good health, etc.) abound! We've got the nicest Ukrainian curtains anywhere...they are fit for a palace! lol I'm still in charge of all electronics though, so I'm happy! =)

As for driving, I've been pleasantly surprised...she's an excellent driver and can go any place by herself. The only thing she avoids is the highway...but I'll be honest, in Atlanta, I'm still scared of the highway myself...some (or most) of the people are either crazy and/or horrible drivers!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

What used to be my bedroom has slowly morphed into her bedroom. Only a couple pieces of original furniture remain. Icons and other religious artifacts (anything from any religious that brings good luck, good fortune, good health, etc.) abound! We've got the nicest Ukrainian curtains anywhere...they are fit for a palace! lol I'm still in charge of all electronics though, so I'm happy! =)

As for driving, I've been pleasantly surprised...she's an excellent driver and can go any place by herself. The only thing she avoids is the highway...but I'll be honest, in Atlanta, I'm still scared of the highway myself...some (or most) of the people are either crazy and/or horrible drivers!

Navigating took awhile for Alla and then I bought her a GPS and now she goes everywhere with no problem. She does not avoid the "big road" but it is Vermont, there isn't much traffic and "rush hour" is more like 10 minutes. The boys say she is a bad driver. Almost anytime we go anywhere together I drive, so I really don't know. She has never had a traffic ticket (she had one but it was dismissed) and never had an accident with another car. She backed into the garbage can Sunday night. She says that doesn't count.

She made us drapes before she came using the window measurements from the old house and they are really gorgeous and anyone that comes to the house comments on them. Fortunately they also fit some of the windows in our new house. I do not think we have ANY furniture I had in the civized part of the house. I still have my work bench and stuff downstairs. Oh and one coffee table I made before she came.

[slim 1,514]

in Atlanta, I'm still scared of the highway myself...some (or most) of the people are either crazy and/or horrible drivers!

I rear-ended a young lady there once. Nothing like driving 110 and then coming to a complete stop because traffic from the exit ramp is backed up a 1/2 mile out onto the freeway.

[kharkovpoacher 4]

About the car and Veka's driving. She does not drive badly, but she drives like "babushka." That is a good thing. If it is a 45, she might crack the speedometer at 42. When she follows me on the interstate, I have to do less then the posted for her to stay in sight. When she arrived here, we got her a learners permit. I paid for her to have 6 hours with a professional driving instructor. I wanted to keep our marriage alive so I thought a professional would be better to teach her. I also let her drive my truck on some rural roads and to a from the beach. I figured if she could drive my Ram 2500 megacab diesel, she could operate the much smaller KIA. Also, I told her, anything you ever picked up in Ukraine about driving, forget it. Here in America the lines and signs do mean something, they are not suggestions. We drive much nicer here, not the combat driving in Ukraine. It did take us a while for her to finally get her license. The NC DMV would not issue her a license until she received either her EAD or green card. I fought them on this and gave them copies of marriage license, NOA1s for EAD and adjustment of status and explained to them the K1 process. It took a month and they finally issued a drivers license valid for 6 months, to be renewed with a green card.

I explained to the all knowing Veka about taking baby steps, etc. As you can guess that lasted about 2 weeks. I was out of town on business and the queen "had" to drive 25 minutes away to see her friend Inna. I get a phone call from Veka, she is all excited, she made it to Inna's house safely. #######, what happened to baby steps. I was a little perturbed, but not a lot. 30 minutes later Veka calls me to tell me they are going to Crabtree Mall in Raleigh. Whoaaaaa....... I told Veka to have Inna drive Inna's car. Crabtree is a huge mall and tons of traffic. I repeated that a few times then the line went dead. How convenient, but Veka was a smart women, she would listen. Yeah right. I'm at a restaurant eating dinner about 45 minutes later and my phone rings. It is Veka. "I break car." What, she explains to me that she was at the mall trying to park, and she traded paint with another vehicle. Uhoh. "Where are you now?" She was taking Inna back home. I was a little more then hot under the colar. Here I was 5 hours from home and she is not listening to me. I am not advocating this, but she panicked and got out of there. Anyway, her "malappropriation misadjustment of vehicular movement" was my fault for two reasons. First, I jinxed her by telling her not to go to the mall, it was too crowded and she would have an accident. Second, I did not teach her how to park. Silly me, it is my fault she hit a stationary object. She was the only thing moving. I got home a few days later. She had one little dent on the fender well and some paint scuffs. Am I fixing her car. NO. I'm leaving it as a reminder that her "villager" might be right on occasion. I have taken her to Wallyworld and had her park about 20 times. She used to complain about me parking my truck a long ways from the entrances to shopping places. My truck is 18 inches longer then a regular crew cab. I like to cover two spaces, front to back, because of length. Now Veka looks for about 6 open spaces and tries to fit into one of them. She has no problem walking a little longer now when she drives.

Go ahead guys, y'all can slam me. I did not advocate Veka driving off. I was a long ways from there and she panicked and had already left. What is done is done. I just hope that she learned her lesson. Once she starts working, she is paying to get her machina fixed. A little life lesson for her. She does look at her handiwork and cusses when she goes to her car. If you are ever around Raleigh watch out for the blonde babushka. LOL.

My smokinhotkova does now have a new plan since the "incident." Whenever she goes somewhere she calls me before leaving and upon arrival. She actually just called me while typing this, she made it to the gym. It gives her confidence and I tell her what roads to take at what time of day. In 2 hours she will call me before leaving for home to give her support. I think the driving might be the hardest part for us RUB guys.