My dad

[cassi9879 20]

The last I heard from my dad was a couple months after introducing Benny to him. Grandma didn't know why he wasn't talking or responding to me. This weekend was our family's Christmas. They were all talking about my dad and stepmother moving to Huntsville. Nobody said anything to me about it. I'm not sure if anyone other than my grandparents are aware dad's not talking to me.

Has anyone experienced this before? How have you handled it? Any recommendations?

[Captain Oates 911]

The last I heard from my dad was a couple months after introducing Benny to him. Grandma didn't know why he wasn't talking or responding to me. This weekend was our family's Christmas. They were all talking about my dad and stepmother moving to Huntsville. Nobody said anything to me about it. I'm not sure if anyone other than my grandparents are aware dad's not talking to me.

Has anyone experienced this before? How have you handled it? Any recommendations?

Does this refer to Bennies - as in Benzadrine ? If so then I am not surprised.

[cassi9879 20]

No Alan, Benny is my husband.

[Nagishkaw 510]

I did not speak to my father for 30+ years....then he died. He summoned my sister in the last weeks he was alive, but never mentioned me. I didn't go to his funeral. I don't really think too much about it, really. He was never around much when we were growing up, always too busy with work and his agendas. He left everything to his brother's daughter. Some 'father', eh ?

[Captain Oates 911]

No Alan, Benny is my husband.

That's good.

Always say yes to Benny, and always say no to Bennies

[Captain Oates 911]

I did not speak to my father for 30+ years....then he died. He summoned my sister in the last weeks he was alive, but never mentioned me. I didn't go to his funeral. I don't really think too much about it, really. He was never around much when we were growing up, always too busy with work and his agendas. He left everything to his brother's daughter. Some 'father', eh ?

My son doesn't speak to me either.

I nag him to lay off the booze and drugs and he says I am a terrible father for telling him this when he is depressed and suicidal and he is not an alcoholic or a drug user and how dare I say he is ?

My daughter saw him do 5 lines of cocaine at midnight through a 20 euro note and he offered her some - then he stayed up all night and drank 3 full bottles of wine for breakfast. He doesn't think I know but I get reports from many people to corroborate what is going on. Next morning, he drives a bus on twisty mountain roads and wears a silk scarf round his neck so the passengers can't see where he has been trying to hang himself !!

I have spent many tens of thousands trying to get his business going but he says that I am 'a disgusting example of a human being'.

kids eh ? It just shows that the situation appears totally different from different perspectives.

Finally, I am not going to make myself ill worrying about him just because he is blood. Neither should anyone with their relative. We can only do so much and then it is up to them.

[cassi9879 20]

My dad was the one who raised me. I'm his only child. My son is his only grandchild. I'm getting clsoer to my mom now.

[Ontarkie 14,597]

I'm sorry you are going through this, I don't know how long he hasn't spoke to you or if things were said when he met Benny. Has he even met his grandson? How long have you and your mother been getting closer is it possible your father thinks you abandoned him for your new family and mother. I don't know if you have tried to talk to him since, it seems the rest of your family thinks all is well maybe you can get some ideas from others in your family. It is really sad he is missing out in your life.

Edited January 3, 2011 by Ontarkie

[cassi9879 20]

I'm sorry you are going through this, I don't know how long he hasn't spoke to you or if things were said when he met Benny. Has he even met his grandson? How long have you and your mother been getting closer is it possible your father thinks you abandoned him for your new family and mother. I don't know if you have tried to talk to him since, it seems the rest of your family thinks all is well maybe you can get some ideas from others in your family. It is really sad he is missing out in your life.

Yes, dad's met my son but hasn't seen him in several years (I think I was still married to my first husband). Mom and I have been getting closer over the past year.

I've left messages at both home and work, emailed him, and also snail mailed dad. The snail mail and messages left at the house could've been removed by my stepmother without him knowing.

[cassi9879 20]

Ideas Benny and I've bounced around about why dad's not talking to me.

• Dad gave me some money to help me catch up on some bills in 2007. Dad and Benny met December 2007. The last I heard from dad was in Jan/Feb 2008 about my car problems. Perhaps he thinks I paid for Benny to come here.
• Dad and Benny have a similar look (facial structure, mustache, etc. are very similar). Perhaps this disturbs him.
• Benny is two years older than dad. Perhaps this scares him.

If only dad would say why he's not talking to me anymore then I'd have some idea how to approach things with him!

[Ontarkie 14,597]

Oh wow I hope your stepmother isn't interfering.

The ideas the 2 of you came up with could very well have something to do with it. I think many fathers would have trouble with their daughters marrying someone a few years older then the father's.

Some how you need to speak to your father, you may need help from family to make it happen.

[luckytxn 2,265]

Do you think marrying someone that looks like and is older than your dad may have something to do with it? It does appear on a superficial level you may have a father complex.

Edited January 3, 2011 by luckytxn

[Captain Oates 911]

Do you think marrying someone that looks like and is older than your dad may have something to do with it? It does appear on a superficial level you may have a father complex.

There again, the oldies reward with gratitude which is better than the opposite.

I used to go out with a blonde brains out hairdresser who was 15 years younger and she used to say " Better a rich old man's darling than a poor young man's slave"

Excellent while it lasted. She dumped me when I lost my big job and my Mercedes and went off with Bob

Then I got another job after 6 months and Bob lost his the very same week !

It's all good fun and as long as interests coincide for the time being, then we can't ask for much more.

Even Granny love has it's advantages and all cats are grey at night

[cassi9879 20]

Do you think marrying someone that looks like and is older than your dad may have something to do with it? It does appear on a superficial level you may have a father complex.

Nobody else has said that they look alike; it's just something I noticed when trying to figure out why dad isn't responding. I would share pictures so someone else could compare but I don't have any of dad. I think they were on the computer that was stolen.

[luckytxn 2,265]

Nobody else has said that they look alike; it's just something I noticed when trying to figure out why dad isn't responding. I would share pictures so someone else could compare but I don't have any of dad. I think they were on the computer that was stolen.

I honestly did not mean it harshly but was wondering if the dad thought so since you said they have the same facial features and he was older than your Dad. I will say a prayer that your Father will come around to his senses.