My major major Problem

[proud_bisaya 3]

Hi VJers ,,how's your day?

I have something to share which for me makes me feel so lost..

I suppose to be happy right now because atlast I already have a JOB but sad to note my hubby not allow me to work,,, ohhhh mannnnn do I need to work guys or just follow what my hubby's decision? I am so lost right now.... GOD help....

[Ban Hammer 13,716]

why does he not want you to work?

[proud_bisaya 3]

Currently I am still her in Pinas and I plan to work while waiting for my hubby to come over here. Actually he really knew that I was hunting a job a month ago and he approved me to work but just today as I got hired from capitol as government employee he changed his mind and he said "I decided not to let you work, you will stay home". That time I was so shocked really he supposed to be happy that I got hired .. ohhhh mannnnnn....

I also decided to work and I am going to start working tomorrow but i am so sad this would be the red flag of our long distance relationship

PLZ advice me....

[Ban Hammer 13,716]

if i'm understanding this correctly, you're still in the Philippines, you two are married, and you have a job lined up but he does not want you to work for some reason?

[proud_bisaya 3]

if i'm understanding this correctly, you're still in the Philippines, you two are married, and you have a job lined up but he does not want you to work for some reason?

Good day sir charles.. Yes I am still here in the philippines as we still continuing our 4 years of long distance of not meeting each other yet.....No we are not married yet but hopefully by this year he will be coming over to meet me up and my family and start K1 soon. Just today I got hired as governement employee in the schoool as I am trying to practice my profession as Teacher... The reason why he dont want me to work is our time conflict in coming online....... He is not dominating my life as I observed he is just concern about our LDR. We usaully talked/ chat 2 times a day my morning time and night time. He is afraid I might not have enought time to communicate in him.. It would be my 1st time of having a job, I just want to experience also but I think my hubz is right.. I will just stay home for now and give more time to each other........

Thank you sir for your quick responce... a big help for me..

GOD BLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Teacher Mark 53]

4 years and you haven't met yet? I'd take the job if I were you.

[Ban Hammer 13,716]

4 years and you haven't met yet? I'd take the job if I were you.

my thoughts too - 4 years is a long time. and she needs to quit referring to him as her hubby as that could create problems later on before they are actually married.

[Teacher Mark 53]

my thoughts too - 4 years is a long time. and she needs to quit referring to him as her hubby as that could create problems later on before they are actually married.

I'd have to agree.

[ValerieA 350]

Good day sir charles.. Yes I am still here in the philippines as we still continuing our 4 years of long distance of not meeting each other yet.....No we are not married yet but hopefully by this year he will be coming over to meet me up and my family and start K1 soon. Just today I got hired as governement employee in the schoool as I am trying to practice my profession as Teacher... The reason why he dont want me to work is our time conflict in coming online....... He is not dominating my life as I observed he is just concern about our LDR. We usaully talked/ chat 2 times a day my morning time and night time. He is afraid I might not have enought time to communicate in him.. It would be my 1st time of having a job, I just want to experience also but I think my hubz is right.. I will just stay home for now and give more time to each other........

Thank you sir for your quick responce... a big help for me..

GOD BLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First off...sir charles

It seems a bit of a red flag that you have had a relationship for 4 years and yet you have not even met yet. I am of the opinion that you don't know someone really until you have physically spent a lot of time around them. I'd keep the job, as a backup if the relationship doesn't work out.

Oh, and I question his intent. I do see this as domineering, on his part.

Whatever you decide, I hope it all works out for you. All the best.

[Nik+Heather 121]

In general, until he is your husband, you need to look out for yourself. This job will help you advance your career and give you income. If things don't work out with your relationship, where will you be if you turn down this job you really want??

He's not your husband, he's not obligated to care for you, so you need to make sure that you take care of yourself.

[SuperDuper! 230]

First off...sir charles

It seems a bit of a red flag that you have had a relationship for 4 years and yet you have not even met yet. I am of the opinion that you don't know someone really until you have physically spent a lot of time around them. I'd keep the job, as a backup if the relationship doesn't work out.

Oh, and I question his intent. I do see this as domineering, on his part.

Whatever you decide, I hope it all works out for you. All the best.

Please try to understand cultural norms before you mock.

It is completely normal in the Phils to address people by SIR or MAM when you do not know them yet.

I can't expect you to have this knowledge, but please ask for your tolerance of different cultures.

Peace.

[trillium13 84]

If he's trying to exert this level of control over you now, imagine what it would be like if you lived under the same roof and were married?

Do you really want a man telling you what to do all the time? Here in the US most women don't put up with that #######. Guess that is one of the reasons why some men look elsewhere.

Please try to understand cultural norms before you mock.

It is completely normal in the Phils to address people by SIR or MAM when you do not know them yet.

I can't expect you to have this knowledge, but please ask for your tolerance of different cultures.

Peace.

Charles, aren't you from Texas? Everyone here is always sir-ing and ma'am-ing.

[DEDixon 39]

unless he is sending you a major amount of money monthly to stay home, GO TO WORK!

if he isn't sending you money, in my opinion, he is just using you to occupy his time... he is lonely. 4 years and can't make the trip to the RP? there is no excuse for his absence. i work full time and within a 15 month period made 5 trips to the RP.

[mawilson 2,133]

[Amby 490]

so did you have an internet marriage? how is he your husband if you've never met?