The poor get poorer and deserve to

[BishopM 114]

I realize that it might seem odd, but I like being poor. I'm colleg educated, so I can only blame my heart!

To the OPs point though, kids can't cop out like me! First, make you way. Only then can one attempt to be 'poor'.

Its a different angle. To be poor by choice is a grand thing, provided that your poverty is through helping.

Yes, philosophically I never win this argument. Understood. Its a theological thing, so bless me in my endevour

But hey! I still have beer money for crying out loud!

[Captain Oates 910]

I remember when i was 17 and started work and I was training with and replacing a guy who was retiring at 65.

He told me about his friend who had been responsible and saved all his life

The friend died and his worthless son got his money.

The son bought a brand new jaguar and went out and partied and got drunk. He drove it home (no insurance) and wrapped it round a lamp post

All the dad's money, his life savings, was gone in a week..

This story is from decades ago so I am not criticising the 'youth of today' because there have ALWAYS been people like that.

I don't think that son reflected and changed his ways

I know women who live like that so it's not a boy thing

The thing is that they never see the light and they never reform.

That story from when I was 17 still haunts me as I know my son's inheritance from me will not last 2 weeks when I die.

It seems to me that about 50% of people are like this - at least. How else could this credit crisis have happened if 100's of millions of people had not been irresponsible with their borrowing ?

They post on VJ - they leave the UK and skip leaving bank loans and credit cards debt and laugh about it. I think it's deplorable but they say it's the norm

They will never get ahead with that attitude but they actually think they are cleverer than people like me who play by the rules - but they all end up penniless again before long.

Edited July 10, 2010 by saywhat

[Captain Oates 910]

I realize that it might seem odd, but I like being poor. I'm colleg educated, so I can only blame my heart!

To the OPs point though, kids can't cop out like me! First, make you way. Only then can one attempt to be 'poor'.

Its a different angle. To be poor by choice is a grand thing, provided that your poverty is through helping.

Yes, philosophically I never win this argument. Understood. Its a theological thing, so bless me in my endevour

But hey! I still have beer money for crying out loud!

Well if your church allows you to drink then at least you didnt get that choice wrong...

It's waste that gets me. My son sits on the settee and calls England - its 1 penny per minute on the land line which is 6 feet away. It's 60p a minute on his cell which is in front of him on the table. He calls on his cell and talks all night. Then he gets cut off at the end of the month coz he can't pay the bill - and then pays $100 reconnection charge every month !!

Then he gets depressed coz he has no money to pay his rent

Is it me or is that thick ? It isnt just him there are millions of em ! I know that coz I ask around.

[rika60607 215]

Is it possible that your daughter is just very kind?

When my daughter was 15, her first boyfriend had one eye and had been released from prison that week ? eh ? whats happening ? Then she married a big time multi- multi millionaire's son but divorced him for a guy who had been in the remedial class at a special school and had just come out of prison too... what ?

[Captain Oates 910]

Is it possible that your daughter is just very kind?

Well he got her pregannt then he kicked her in the stomach and cut her face with a piece of glass and she has a big scar. Then he burgled my house and stole my cards and identity.

Not very kind on herself or her dad ?

Be careful out there I worry about you....

[KaiserD 12]

That must've been very difficult to watch unfold.

What do they say to you about their behaviour? It's hard to see where they are coming from.

[rika60607 215]

Yep,

she's kind and probably with self esteem issues. And she probably thought she could change him, too. I am sorry for this happening, and you probably knew it would, too

You should write a book! You are good at writing and you've got the material. From life choices to money management to living in two countries.

And there I thought my life was interesting... not as much as yours!

Well he got her pregannt then he kicked her in the stomach and cut her face with a piece of glass and she has a big scar. Then he burgled my house and stole my cards and identity.

Not very kind on herself or her dad ?

Be careful out there I worry about you....

[Captain Oates 910]

Yep,

she's kind and probably with self esteem issues. And she probably thought she could change him, too. I am sorry for this happening, and you probably knew it would, too

You should write a book! You are good at writing and you've got the material. From life choices to money management to living in two countries.

And there I thought my life was interesting... not as much as yours!

jeez I have the stories but no answers.

Apparently the French have a saying which translates as 'The miser's son is a spendthrift'

I know I can be tight with money but not crazy tight. Just careful. Every miser says that of course.

I think I am so frustrated that I really could get behind my kids and support them in whatever THEY wanted to do and I imagine the kick I would get out of seeing them do well. Not even on a high level. If my son wanted to be a postman and have a nice little studio apartment and be healthy and happy then that would do me. It's all drama. He called me one night and said he had been arrested for assaulting a Spanish police officer and they were transporting him to mainland Spain. Then his cell battery went dead. Nothing for 24 hours and we got the British Consulate involved and it was red hot phone lines for 24 hours.

No trace - panic time

Then the phone rang - it was him in a noisy pub. "mistaken identity" he said - "all sorted out now hee hee ha ha ".

Three months later he called saying his scalp had been sliced open by four Africans hitting him over the head with bar stools when "he hadn't said anything " to them.

He is scared of spiders and hospitals etc so he let it heal up at home and now he has a massive scar on his head

I could go on ALL night describing these incidents and scrapes - they are every 3 months ..

His friend (not him) was dumped by a girl and cut his finger off in the park. Wouldn't tell his mother where it was. She found it down the back of the settee 10 days later

A woman I dated had her ex throw a petrol bomb through her bedroom window while she was in bed ! Then she dumped me, got back with him and he hanged himself in the hall at 3am - she cut him down and he recovered, She married him and then divorced him 6 months later and married the town drunk who had no front teeth ! Stories - these are a tiny number of what I have seen - I am exhausted by life.

on and on I know a million stories and it isn't just my son - the world is crazy... and it's sad

It could be sadder - it could be me. I am fireproof and I can and should and will just stand back and watch it all now - but it ain't pretty

What the heck is the matter with people ? They are all hell bent on self destruction.

[Ban Hammer 12,841]

What the heck is the matter with people ? They are all hell bent on self destruction.

no idea what drives people to act the fool. and oftentimes you can't help them, no matter how well meaning your advice and your efforts. it's best just to stay away from those hell bent to muck up everything they can.

[Captain Oates 910]

no idea what drives people to act the fool. and oftentimes you can't help them, no matter how well meaning your advice and your efforts. it's best just to stay away from those hell bent to muck up everything they can.

Good conclusion...

No government or any organisation has managed to cure the shenanigans of the huge mass of the underclass in any country so far - so I am sure I am not qualified to do it.

At the same time, I wouldn't take advantage of them by selling em jars of earth from the holy land at £75 GBP a go...

It's a mystery how Switzerland and Holland and Germany etc SEEM to have a lower percentage of these self destructs. Perhaps that's just an impression as I know they have some. Also it seems to go back in time and across all countries - the Greeks, the bible, the Romans etc etc so it's probably one of nature's population control mechanisms - or it was - now they are subsidised so that evolution runs backwards.

oh well - back to the shopping channel with this credit card I 'found on a wall'

joke

[rika60607 215]

Saywhat,

adopt me

I am a good child, I promise (and I am probably about the same age as your kids - so of course, I am not serious)

Actually, you do have answers - for someone who wants to learn. May be not about raising children, but about how one ends up with 3 pensions, how one invests in the markets and real estate.

I am fantastic with the money, except for investing... I am the other side of the coin. The good child who keeps passing opportunities, unable to take risks. I can't invest until I understand fully. I can't buy a house and have a child until I earn enough and have a good mate. End result? Not great. At some point it becomes too late...

You may be disappointed with your kids, but at least they are not afraid to live and take chances. Except drug use, of course, is not acceptable behavior, Tenerife or not.

[KaiserD 12]

Saywhat,

adopt me

I am a good child, I promise (and I am probably about the same age as your kids - so of course, I am not serious)

Actually, you do have answers - for someone who wants to learn. May be not about raising children, but about how one ends up with 3 pensions, how one invests in the markets and real estate.

I am fantastic with the money, except for investing... I am the other side of the coin. The good child who keeps passing opportunities, unable to take risks. I can't invest until I understand fully. I can't buy a house and have a child until I earn enough and have a good mate. End result? Not great. At some point it becomes too late...

You may be disappointed with your kids, but at least they are not afraid to live and take chances. Except drug use, of course, is not acceptable behavior, Tenerife or not.

I empathize with you - We ended up staying too long at our inlaws not because we were lazy but too afraid to take the risk and did not believe in our own confidence to make things work. We know how to not spend our money to save but not a lick of sense about investments, I fear I inherited that from my parents.

Maybe saywhat should start a money management course

[rika60607 215]

A common sense course wrapped in British humor...

where do I sign up?

I empathize with you - We ended up staying too long at our inlaws not because we were lazy but too afraid to take the risk and did not believe in our own confidence to make things work. We know how to not spend our money to save but not a lick of sense about investments, I fear I inherited that from my parents.

Maybe saywhat should start a money management course

[Gemmie 142]

Me and my husband were talking about this yesterday. Ever since I left university, my brother has been telling me that there's no point in trying to get a decent job as he sees in the news that people end up going back to the bottom anyway, and he laughs at the fact that I took out loans to spend three years away working hard for nothing. Whenever I tell him that I'm looking for a job over here in the US, it feels like he delights in telling me that I should go and work at McDonalds. And he was telling me this pretty much when I first started my job hunt.

He had opportunities to succeed himself, and he chose to take out a 5K loan that he didn't need, spend years paying it back, get his girlfriend (who has never worked) pregnant, get a council flat because of their baby, and live on welfare. And now he's planning on having another baby and raising that one on welfare too.

He found out his SIL was expecting a baby boy instead of a girl (which is what she wanted) and laughed.

He laughs at his SIL's kids, says that they're under-developed, this one looks like a girl, etc.. and that his own son is way better.

He loved it when his neighbours split up because it showed that 'everything isn't as rosy as it seems' with other couples.

He calls me up when he gets a hint of drama between me and my husband because he likes hearing about our problems, and then says "I didn't know you two had arguments, tell me about it, do you yell at each other' etc'

He smirks when he speaks of his friend's personal troubles. He's always calling people fat, or using racist terms. And I'm just like... how does someone get so BITTER?

I don't think he wants to see people succeed, especially me, because he's made a mess out of his own life. My husband said that if he genuinely wanted to work in retail forever, get to the top of the ladder, live on little money, etc... he would be happy for him. And I would too. But the fact that he keeps attacking other people and loves watching them fail is what makes it beyond comprehension.

Edited July 12, 2010 by Gemmie

[Captain Oates 910]

Money management:

First go to Yorkshire and have all your blood drained out and keep it to sell in the USA.

Have it replaced with Yorkshire blood free on the NHS

Get a prepaid cell phone and never call anyone on it. Don't buy packages of texts

Convenience is the enemy. Businesses sell convenience. Wash your car by hand. You get exercise(save on gym fees)and your car is cleaner and you made tax free money instantly.

Forget cash flow. Its all about profit and loss. If spending now saves later, spend now.

Don't moan about estate agents or accountants or lawyers making money for little work - join em ! Be one ! I did.

Don't go for the quick buck. Buy BP and don't look at it for 10 years . If you do, you will sell em next month.

Don't be lazy - go out and do it. I hauled my parent down to a lawyer to sign their house over to me. Then , when they had to have full time care, the house wasn't theirs and the government could take it (fees £600 per week). I researched it, did it, got on with it. Don't be lazy and ignorant - learn the rules then go do it.

I have no compunction at ripping off governments as long as it's legal. Even in the 90's I was paying £24k tax +NI and got little back - so why not.

Get grants and everything you can get and work hard at giving the nothing back. Don't feel bad, as you get richer they will get their bite for sure.

Summary - information is the currency of POWER

Once armed with information you must get off your butt and take action now - not next month

Every day - push push push. Not in a salesman way which demoralises you - just arrange the world to suit you. It really isn't hard but first you need inspiration and information

Only a small percentage of any population can do this due their inadequate - sorry different personalities

My pal in Harrogate didn't sign his parents house over and the govt took it all. He was too bloody idle to take a day off from golf and DO IT !

inspiration and perspiration - don't be shy and don't put off til tomorrow what can be done today

Never do drugs except moderate alcohol. Do sex to excess. Value yourself - I do - ask anyone.

Easy !

Edited July 12, 2010 by saywhat