vawa interview went horribly wrong

[wallyimmi 1]

hello everyone. i am hoping for some words of advice. i am a victim of domestic abuse and just had my vawa interview to remove my conditions. it went horribly wrong. i had the same IO my wife and i had last year for the regular interview. he asked what happened and i told him. i also stated that i was worried about my immigration status and he said that i did not mention this last year during the interview and that looked like fraud for him. my lawyer and i could not believe it. because i said that i was worried about my "status" he said this is fraudulant. WHY in the hell would I try to have my conditions removed when i was NOT worried? isn't everyone? i have a ton of e-mails where my wife threatened me to to seriously hurt me and get me deported and divorce me so that i get deported. i have a clinical psychologist write an affidavit of support in regards to my condition, photos of scratches across my body that my wife did, notes that my wife wrote stating that if i would come back into the house she would call the cops on me, and, and, and. i am pretty sure that my case will be denied and i am horrified. i'm a good person and have never done anything wrong. this guy said it was his first abuse case, so how can he know what the requirements are? he didn't even study my file at all. just looked through it as my lawyer and i were sitting there! she had to tell him to look for the threatening e-mails she sent me, he didn't even know they were in my file. i'm horrofied! i guess my question is, what can I do if my petition is denied? i cannot believe this. all the ####### i had to go through with my wife, this guy slapped me in the face like she did so many times. belitteling me and basically saying that i'm a lier and am not an honest person. this guy is a grumpy old guy that ruins other people's life because he has none. i'm just so at a loss, that my petition will probably be denied. that IS the reason why victims of abuse do NOT come forward because of guys like he is. i feel even more embarrased and ashamed because i'm a man and this guy just slapped me in the face big time. if any of you had a similar experience or knows what more i can do, i would appreciate it. the anxiety i'm going through right now is beyond belief. i find it ridiciolous that people like this IO screw your life up when they have NO clue what they are doing. thank you all.

[Danni and Hamza 36]

I worked at a domestic violence shelter, for a while. I know where I worked, we sometimes had ppl come in who were immigrating, and whos spouses were threatening, and abusive. We would help them get connected to the local immigration justice project. They were very good, and what they did there, and full of information. Im not sure if your community has a project like this. Im am fairly sure that you could find a domestic violence organization, in your community. Sometimes they are reffered to as Womens shelters. They are not soley for women. As long as they are not working with your wife, as well (cause this would be a conflict of interest) then they can work with you. They may have some very valuable information for you. they usually have a list of community resources, and if you have such a project as we did with immigration justice, then they can point you in the right direction. Hope this helps. Im sure someone else here in VJ can help you further

[wallyimmi 1]

I worked at a domestic violence shelter, for a while. I know where I worked, we sometimes had ppl come in who were immigrating, and whos spouses were threatening, and abusive. We would help them get connected to the local immigration justice project. They were very good, and what they did there, and full of information. Im not sure if your community has a project like this. Im am fairly sure that you could find a domestic violence organization, in your community. Sometimes they are reffered to as Womens shelters. They are not soley for women. As long as they are not working with your wife, as well (cause this would be a conflict of interest) then they can work with you. They may have some very valuable information for you. they usually have a list of community resources, and if you have such a project as we did with immigration justice, then they can point you in the right direction. Hope this helps. Im sure someone else here in VJ can help you further

[wallyimmi 1]

hey there, thanks so much for your reply. well, i went to catholic charities and my lawyer from there came with me to the interview and she was just as surprised as I was. i mean she had many of these cases and even won them with less evidence then i had, so i am truly worried about what will happen when they deny my petition. i just can't believe how this guy can deny me. i am a victim of domestic abuse and now i am also a victim of an immigration officer who has no clue what he was doing. i'm just so scared that i now will be deported and that is just another slap in the face after i what i've been through with my wife already. what can i still do after my case may be denied. i'm just so at a loss. i'm a good person, good member of the community and now this. this guy accused me of being a fraud and a liar. i am appalled over such an accusation and statement. i just wish there was some help out there! thanks again for your response!

[thongd4me 69]

I for one empathize with your story, because in cases of domestic abuse, regardless of who the victim is,

they pretty much want to see blood and serious hospital time. My ex-wife made sure she had the 10-year

green card in hand before she started to actively abuse me and since it was just name calling and yelling

in front of the kids the authorities turn the other cheek.

I also had emails with nothing but "** YOU" appearing all over them graphically.

You can imagine her shock when I sued for divorce. She had no idea that she was

mistreating me, she just thought I should take that sh!t and be happy that she

never cooked, cleaned or drove me to the train station while I was supporting

the family. Luckily she did take care of the kids but much of that entailed making

me look like the bad guy. After a while I got tired of coming home to insults

30 seconds after arriving from a 2 hour commute.

I'm not surprised at all by the way the interview went.

In domestic disputes, the man is guilty until he suffers serious physical injury.

As for your scratches, they assume they were either self-inflicted or deserved; same for her threatening to call the police.

They call it "VAWA" because pretty much it doesn't apply to men.

Edited June 3, 2010 by thongd4me

[wallyimmi 1]

I for one empathize with your story, because in cases of domestic abuse, regardless of who the victim is,

they pretty much want to see blood and serious hospital time. My ex-wife made sure she had the 10-year

green card in hand before she started to actively abuse me and since it was just name calling and yelling

in front of the kids the authorities turn the other cheek.

I also had emails with nothing but "** YOU" appearing all over them graphically.

You can imagine her shock when I sued for divorce. She had no idea that she was

mistreating me, she just thought I should take that sh!t and be happy that she

never cooked, cleaned or drove me to the train station while I was supporting

the family. Luckily she did take care of the kids but much of that entailed making

me look like the bad guy. After a while I got tired of coming home to insults

30 seconds after arriving from a 2 hour commute.

I'm not surprised at all by the way the interview went.

In domestic disputes, the man is guilty until he suffers serious physical injury.

As for your scratches, they assume they were either self-inflicted or deserved; same for her threatening to call the police.

They call it "VAWA" because pretty much it doesn't apply to men.

[wallyimmi 1]

hi there, thank you also for your response. i still cannot believe it and i am at a loss still. this guy screws up your whole life because he does not know what he is doing. i had excellent evidence, and he didnt' even consider it. it's just so sad. here i was abused and am being abused by such a guy again. i felt like a criminal and have never been so humiliated! i'm still waiting to hear about a decision. it's true as you said it's only for woman, who cares about us men, it just makes us look like more losers. great system and slabbed in the face again. it's just so sad. thanks again for your response!

[brnie80 1]

I think the IO here might be thinking that you did not mention any of the abuse during the last interview. Did he ask you how things were going during your AOS interview? And what did you say? Also I think your attorney should have spoken up here.

Ask your attorney if you will still have a chance to prove your case infront of an immigration judge and weather you can appeal to BIA if the judge denies. Might also wanna look for a different attorney who is more experienced in these cases.

Edited June 4, 2010 by brnie80

[thongd4me 69]

I think the IO here might be thinking that you did not mention any of the abuse during the last interview. Did he ask you how things were going during your AOS interview? And what did you say? Also I think your attorney should have spoken up here.

Ask your attorney if you will still have a chance to prove your case infront of an immigration judge and weather you can appeal to BIA if the judge denies. Might also wanna look for a different attorney who is more experienced in these cases.

In my experience, both bad and good lawyers are like THE BORG in Star Trek.

"Any attempt to resist is futile."

In your case, any attempt to control your case will be futile and it's up to the

lawyer to know the best thing to do.

I had read countless books about "taking charge of your divorce" etc and thought it didn't matter

whether I had a good lawyer or not, so I went for the cheapest one right off the bat. Big mistake.

My first lawyer in my divorce was a waste of time and money

and I thought I could control her but I was wrong.

My second lawyer whipped the stuffing out of my now ex-wife's new lawyer.

I didn't have to coach her, she knew her job.

Edited June 4, 2010 by thongd4me

[wallyimmi 1]

In my experience, both bad and good lawyers are like THE BORG in Star Trek.

"Any attempt to resist is futile."

In your case, any attempt to control your case will be futile and it's up to the

lawyer to know the best thing to do.

I had read countless books about "taking charge of your divorce" etc and thought it didn't matter

whether I had a good lawyer or not, so I went for the cheapest one right off the bat. Big mistake.

My first lawyer in my divorce was a waste of time and money

and I thought I could control her but I was wrong.

My second lawyer whipped the stuffing out of my now ex-wife's new lawyer.

I didn't have to coach her, she knew her job.

[wallyimmi 1]

hey guys, thanks again for your responses. my lawyer is pretty good, but the IO was just a friggen jerk who has NO idea what he is doing! it's unreal. he is a grumpy, old, miserable guy who tries to screw up other people's lives. so what can you do about that? not sure what my further options are but i'm sure my lawyer knows what to do. she did speak up a few times during the interview, but this jerk just used everything against me. i was NOT asked about the abuse during my adjustment interview and it would have been pretty bad for me to say anything about my wife right there. just imagine what she would have done to me after? apparently THAT this great IO didn't get! it remains that good people get screwed over and the ones that really screw the system get what they want anyway. that is how FAIR this system is.

[justashooter 430]

it's called the "violence against women act". what part of that do you not understand?

there is a double standard in USA in regard to spousal violence. that being said, your story as told in the first post wouldn't convince me, and it's only your side.

[wallyimmi 1]

it's called the "violence against women act". what part of that do you not understand?

there is a double standard in USA in regard to spousal violence. that being said, your story as told in the first post wouldn't convince me, and it's only your side.

[wallyimmi 1]

well, obviously you know as little about the law as the immigration officer himself! even though it's called "violence against women act", it applies to men as well! (or so it should!) also, the evidence i presented is by law plenty of proof, but again he had no clue and it was his FIRST case. so, sorry buddy, if you don't believe my story, but it's your oppinion just like his. so what can i do? nothing, screwed by an organization that should help me and support me and not put me down as a liar for the ###### i've been through with an abusive wife. well, well....

[payxibka 10,044]

Look at the I-751 instructions.... It says:

3. You entered the marriage in good faith and have remained married, but you have been battered or subjected to extreme cruelty by your US citizen or permanent resident spouse.

It does not say US citizen HUSBAND. This provision of the law applies for either men or women not just women